


Before the Fawn

by AndelynKinsey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm trying to stay as canon as possible, Slow Burn, Some violence and mature content later on, jily, teenagers to adulthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-01-08 05:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 92,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12247974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndelynKinsey/pseuds/AndelynKinsey
Summary: Before Harry, before Godric's Hollow, before the Dark Lord was defied three times... Lily Evans and James Potter discovered that neither of them were what the other had expected, and embarked on a relationship that would change the world as they knew it.





	1. Touched By Flames

“I have an idea.  It’s brilliant.  I have a brilliant idea,” announced James, ruffling his hair as he threw himself down on the grass next to Sirius.

“You have an idea,” Sirius replied through a mouth full of apple.  “What is this idea of yours?”

“It’s a brilliant idea.”

“Tell me your brilliant idea.”

James slammed the book down on the ground and began rapidly flipping through pages.  Sirius quirked an eyebrow, glancing at Remus to confirm they were seeing the same thing.  “Your idea came out of a book?”

“Yes,” explained James, chewing his lip as he slowed his page flipping.

Remus laughed once.  “Technically, it’s not your idea then if it came –“

“Found it!” James exclaimed.  “This… this right here.  _Look-look-look-look_ -“

“Get that away from me!” Sirius snorted, shoving the book James was thrusting into his face away.  “I’ve had enough of that rubbish.  Muggle studies say too much reading can be bad for your health, it can make you unsociable.”

“Moony, look… l _ook-look-look_ ,” James insisted, shoving the book into Remus’ hands. 

Remus furrowed his eyebrows, glancing over the page before looking back to James.  “ _Felix Felicis_?  Why do you need _Felix Felicis_?”

Sirius rolled his eyes.  “Why else? For _Liiiiilly_ ,” he groaned.  “Prong- no, I’m not even going to use your nickname.  _James_ , you have to move on.  You have to go-“

“No,” James grumbled.  “No, I don’t.  I don’t want to.  I _can’t_ … I can’t just-“

“She hates you,” Remus mumbled solemnly. 

“She doesn’t hate-“

“Hate _is_ a strong word,” Remus corrected thoughtfully.  “She strongly dislikes you… with the majority of her being.  _Strongly_.”

“Strongly as in firewhiskey strongly,” Sirius agreed.  “Strongly as in ‘ _Don’t you talk to me about James Potter. That arrogant oaf only said all that to get attention so gits like you fancy him_ ,’ strongly.”

James’ eager face fell.  His head dropped forward into his hands, fingers threaded into his thick black hair.  “ _Ugggh_ … she said that?”

“Yelled it at Wormtail and Sturgis over lunch,” Sirius confirmed.  “Then when Wormtail got defensive she said it was all because he was stuck so far up your arse he could help chew your food.  She was pretty loud.”

“That’s why I _need_ this!” lamented James, snatching back the book from Remus, jabbing his finger at the picture of a bubbling potion. “ _’For use during times when the drinker needs an ounce of luck.  You’ll find all your aims successful_.’”  He shoved the book into Sirius’ unwilling hands. 

Sirius rolled his eyes again. “ _’Beware of overconsumption – can lead to excessive giddiness, overconfidence, recklessness_ –“

“-Characteristics I already have-”

“- _And excessive nose tweaking_ ,’” he snorted at the text.  “Well, Merlin knows we could all use a bit more _nose tweaking_ in our day to day lives.”

Remus laughed and James grinned.  “You’ll help me make it?”

“Obviously,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes.  “It has to stew for six months, but that should give her enough time to cool off.”

“We can hope,” James muttered darkly.  “Why did she get so angry anyway?  I was only defending her against that slimy, grotty –“

“That slimy, grotty whatever he is,” a silvery voice sang from above them, “ _was_ – note the past tense – one of her closest friends.  She’s upset, she’s hurt, and you are an easier target for her anger because you are _always_ there, James, whereas Snape… well, _he_ is protected by dungeons, and friends who think he’s a hero for calling her that word, and his own anger over your bullying...  Her rage cannot get to him, but you… _you_ are constantly throwing yourself in her path, so it can get to you much easier.”

James considered for a moment before he noticed Sirius.  He was sitting up taller and grinning broadly up at the girl strolling past them.  “Wotcher, Tottle…” he purred.

“Hullo, Black,” Julia Tottleham replied, smirking as she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder. 

“Gorgeous weather we’re having today,” he observed, looking toward the clear sky above.

“Lovely,” Julia agreed.

“You’re looking astoundingly fit, as per usual,” Sirius added, jumping to his feet with a grin.  He was a good five inches taller than her, but she didn’t flinch, shy away, or appear flushed in his shadow.  On the contrary, she straightened up more and her eyes flashed with wicked amusement.

“Thank you,” she smirked.  “These robes do nothing for my figure, but I’m glad someone is paying attention.”

“Someone is.”

“One of the few things you do pay attention to.”

“ _Touch_ _é_ ,” Sirius laughed.  “But only ‘cause you’re engaging. You don’t bore me.”

“Good to know,” smiled Julia.

“Fancy a partner on your afternoon stroll?” asked Sirius, offering his forearm with a wink.

“A stroll?” chuckled Julia.  “That’s what you’re offering me?  A leisurely jaunt across the grounds?”

“It’s a start,” Sirius defended.  “If we walked by the lake I’m sure I could summon a serpent to impress you.”

James and Remus sniggered.  Julia grinned wickedly.  “ _Serpent_ ,” she laughed.  “Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, aren’t we?  That might be entertaining, but I’m pretty sure all you could conjure up would be a flobberworm.”

She turned over her shoulder with a wink and strolled back to the castle while Sirius grinned at her back. “Next time, then?”

“You _bore_ me, Black!” Julia shouted without turning around.  “Perhaps when you find something entertaining I’ll accompany you on that walk.”

Sirius watched her retreating silhouette until it disappeared inside the castle before he turned around to face James, who was shaking his head in amusement.  “Like you’re any better.”

“I’m wearing her down,” Sirius explained.  “I _like_ that girl.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s wearing you down,” Remus added, getting to his feet as well.  “If this keeps up and she doesn’t cave, I expect you’ll be begging –“

“Sirius Black never _begs_.”

“Really?” James laughed.  “I’m recalling the Halloween feast…”

“Yes,” chuckled Remus.  “I seem to remember downing three shots of that firewhiskey we stole off of Longbottom and then begging to chase after her when we were supposed to –“

“I wasn’t _begging_!” Sirius grumbled.  “I was pissed and lamenting that she had blown me off.”

James leaned into Remus dramatically, slurring as he spoke in Sirius’ low voice.  “’ _Imm gonna go up there and snog her.  I’ll snog her until she cracks… why won’ you let me go up there? Lemme go up there, I need_ -‘”

“Shut it, Prongs,” growled Sirius, punching James hard on the shoulder as Remus laughed and they began walking back inside.

The boys continued taunting Sirius as they ascended the long stair case to Gryffindor tower, Peter Pettigrew joining them just as they walked onto the seventh-floor hallway.  As usual, they paid little attention to anyone else around them unless that person offered attention or a chance to show off.  It was expected behavior; a typical day for them.

What was not typical was Lily Evans sitting alone in the common room when all of her friends were out on the grounds, or in the Great Hall preparing for the feast.  O.W.L.’s were done, the year was over.  This was a time for celebration and Lily was usually very much a part of these celebrations.  But there she sat, alone on the sofa, staring into the fire as though her gaze was the only thing keeping it alive.

James paused, ignoring Sirius’ eye roll and Peter tugging on his robes.  He couldn’t help it.  He _had_ to stop.  It was a compulsion at this point. Anytime he saw her, he had to speak… no matter what came out of his mouth, he had to say it.

“Stop missing up your hair,” Lily muttered, never turning her eyes away from the flames.

James paused, arm awkwardly extended towards his head for a preemptive hair fluffing.  He cleared his throat and tied his fingers together behind his back.  “All right, Evans?”

“Yes, thank you.”

James nodded, a relived smirk playing on his lips.  “So… feast this evening.”

“I’ve heard.”

“Planning on attending?”

Lily sighed and dropped her gaze from the fire, it was the first time she had moved since James had come in.  “I… I’m not sure,” she mumbled.  She twisted her fingers together and stared at her feet. James cautiously moved closer to where she was, sitting down on the arm of the couch. He frowned when he saw that her face was streaked with tears.  He leaned in, trying to catch her eyes with his.  She glanced at him for just a second before turning away sharply.

“Food will be ace,” James continued, keeping the conversation light.  “Tottleham is already down there.  I expect Fawley, McKinnon, and MacDonald are as well.”

“Yes, you’re right,” agreed Lily, using her long red hair to obscure her face as she hastily wiped it clean with her sleeve.  “You should take Black down there as soon as possible.  Julia’s waiting for him to come up with something entertaining to do.”

James grinned, glancing over at Sirius, who had remained cowered in the stairwell to the boys’ dormitory with Remus and Peter.  His eyes lit up with interest at her comment. “I’ll let him know.  But you should… probably come down as –“

“I have loads of packing to do,” she announced, standing and quickly walking towards the girls’ stairwell. 

“Evans, wait,” James called, jumping over the armchair and chasing after her.  He stopped a two-stride distance from where she lingered at the edge of the stairs, chewing his lip as he swallowed the incessant voice demanding he ask for another date.  Instead, his face softened and he leaned in towards her.  “ _Are_ you all right?”

Lily’s shoulder’s tensed.  James could see her balling up one fist.  Whether from anger or from an attempt to control her emotions he didn’t know.  He braced for the yelling that would follow.

“I’m fine, Potter.  I’m perfectly fine,” she replied in a shaky yet assertive voice.

“You can’t have _that_ much packing to do. You do have a wand,” he reminded her.  “You sure-“

“I said I’m _fine_ , Potter,” she growled as she stormed up the stairs and out of his sight.  James pursed his lips, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and running his fingers through his hair.  They got stuck; he swore under his breath.

“That was the longest civil conversation you two have ever had,” Peter noted.

“And you did it without that potion,” Remus added.

“Keep that up and you’ll be in her knickers in no time,” Sirius finished, slapping James hard on the shoulder.  “Let’s go get food.  More for us since she’s not coming.”

The feast was spectacular: plates of roast, buttered vegetables, and plenty of desserts.  After the announcement that Hufflepuff had surprisingly won the house cup, Dumbledore gave a rousing speech about the accomplishments of the past year and promising a good future to come.  But there was a weariness to his words.  He looked tired, all the professors did.  James knew that look all too well.  He’d seen it in the eyes of his parents the past few years, read it in the words of the letters they sent him.  “ _Try not to cause too much trouble.  And don’t sneak off, James.  There are things worse than a detention_.” 

They never brought it up directly.  In fact, no one at school brought it up in more than just a passing observation.  But James had taken out a subscription to the Prophet that his parents didn’t know about.  In the paper he saw the truth of things.  The ongoing turmoil; their world on the brink of war.  It remained something that every student was aware of, whispering stories behind closed doors, but no one ever _talked_ about it.  Much like the cause of the conflict and the masterminds behind it: Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

“Don’t say the name,” Julia grimaced in the common room after the feast had ended.  Gryffindor tower was, as usual, chaotic with laughter and conversations. Sirius rolled his eyes at her protest while James laughed.

“It’s a word.  It’s just a _name._   It has no power,” he said assertively.

“No, not at all,” Alice Fawley countered.  “Never mind the army of 800 or more wizards he has assembled that back up his cause.  Never mind the spells they just authorized the Aurors to use in order to capture them.  None of that is anything to worry about and certainly isn’t caused by a person bearing a name with no power.”

“Did they really authorize the use of the Unforgivable Curses?” asked Peter interestedly.  “My dad said that was just a rumor.”

“It’s true.” Alice confirmed.  “The new Minister of Magic announced it.  He’s put more dementors around Azkaban to keep the ones we _do_ catch in, and he’s sped up the Auror training program and given them permission to use Unforgivable Curses if needed.

Peter frowned, watching as Mary MacDonald jumped up from her seat on the couch and ran to the portrait door for again.  He looked at James.  “Did you ask your dad, Prongs?”

Alice glared at him.  “You’ll believe him, but you won’t believe me?” she demanded.

“She has an in at the office. You know that, right?” Mary said when she came back and perched herself on the arm of the couch.  “Her boyfriend is there. Frank is an Auror.”

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah… well, James’ dad was basically an Auror for a while and now he keeps in touch with the head of the office,” Peter replied, looking to James for reassurance. “That’s why I ask him.”

Alice shook her head, taking another sip of pumpkin juice that James had nicked from the kitchens earlier.  The room was starting to quiet down a bit as the evening wore on.  Marlene was snacking on left over desserts, Remus was leafing through James’ potion’s book and making notes of indgredients while Peter looked over his shoulder, and Mary had jumped up and run to the portrait hole again, her voice joining the Fat Lady’s in yelling at someone outside.  Julia Tottleham was sitting next to Sirius, allowing his arm to drape over her shoulders. 

Despite the casual environment, James felt uneasy.  He kept glancing at the stairs that lead towards the girls’ dormitory, eyes narrowed with worry.  He noticed Julia doing the same.  “Evans never came down to dinner,” he mused, looking in her direction.

Julia pursed her lips, looking to Mary, who nodded in agreement. “I don’t think she was feeling well,” she offered with a shrug.

“She’s not _sick_ ,” Julia reassured after seeing James’ alarmed expression.  “Don’t get all upset about it, Potter.  She just needs to… sort through some things.”

“You know, they had a civil conversation earlier,” Sirius whispered to Julia.  “It lasted a good ten sentences.”

Julia cocked an eyebrow up, and Mary looked interested.  “Really?” she said before getting up and glancing towards the portrait door, shaking her head. 

“Yes, really,” James replied defensively.  “She doesn’t _hate_ me.”

Marline chuckled. “She strongly dislikes-“

“-his behavior,” Julia interjected.  “I actually think she kind of likes _you_ , Potter.”

James perked up as everyone turned to look at Julia.  “She can’t stand him,” Alice countered.  “Anytime you are mentioned all she talks about is how arrogant you are,” she continued, giving James a look.

“I’m not arrogant!  I’m confident-”

“-You’re arrogant,” agreed Julia, ignoring James’ scoffing.  “I didn’t say it was a horrible thing, but a bit of humility would do you good, Potter.”

“What makes you think she secretly likes him?” asked Mary.  “She does talk all the time about how annoying they all are.”

“’They ‘ _all’_ are?’” asked Sirius defensively.  “Now hang on, I’m not _annoying_.  She’s always nice to Wormtail and she gets on all right with Moony, doesn’t she?”

“We have prefect duty together,” said Remus.  “She’s always fine to me… never says anything bad then.”

“The four of you together can be a bit much,” Julia pointed out, grinning when Sirius pouted at her.  “And I know she does bang on about how arrogant Potter is, much more as of late… ever since whatever went on at the Whomping Willow with Snape.  In fact, every time you walk past she talks about it… almost as if she’s trying to _remind_ herself that she hates you.”

James grinned.  He couldn’t help himself.  It was compulsion.

“Stop smirking,” Mary scolded.  “She won’t ever act on it if you smirk and dance around telling everyone she likes you – or telling _her_ she likes you.”

“They’re right.  She’s not Felicity, or Melany… she’s not impressed by that,” Julia agreed.

“Well I’ve done poetry, and flowers, and those have both been a bust.  What should I do then?” asked James. 

“None of those again,” Mary frowned, before rolling her eyes and walking towards the entrance to the common room.  But this time everyone watched her curiously.  She’d done this so many times now that it had begun to feel a little odd. 

“I’d definitely stay away from the flowers,” Remus suggested to James. “That was a disaster.”

“It wasn’t a disaster until he started on about how impressed she should be with him,” Peter pointed out.

“I still have that poem, though…” James murmured thoughtfully.  “I could try it again.”

“Or you could try, you know, being _yourself_ ,” Julia suggested.    “You’re not poetry.  You’re… James.”

“And what _is_ James?” asked Sirius philosophically.  “ _Who_ is James?  James Henry Potter… who _are_ you?  Do you feel that-“

“Ugh!  I can’t _stand_ this,” Mary growled, storming up the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, her cheeks flushed pink with anger.  Julia turned around sharply, throwing Sirius’ arm off her shoulders before vaulting over the couch after Mary. 

Peter looked at Sirius, then Sirius looked at James, who then looked at Marlene and Alice for an explanation.  Both of them shrugged.  They were the only people left in the common room now, which meant it was very quiet.  Quiet enough that they heard loud and clear the argument taking place when Mary began walking down the stairs with Lily in tow.

“-Can’t sit there all night knocking.  It’s driving me mad!  He says he’s going to sleep-”

“Let it drive you mad, then!  What problem is it of mine if he’s sitting there pouting?  Why the Hell should I care?”

“Because he’s waiting on _you_!  If he sleeps there, in the morning you’ll have to deal with him in front of every-“

“There’s certainly no shortage of people in here now!” Lily shouted, angrily gesturing to the four Marauders, Alice, and Marlene who were all sitting around the fireplace, eagerly listening to their argument.  “Why aren’t you all in bed?”

“Moony and Fawley said we could stay up,” Sirius replied with a grin as he gestured to a sheepish looking Remus.  “Prefects.”

Lily’s face flushed angrily. “I’m a _Prefect,_ as well!” she growled, pointing to herself.  “Get –“

“Don’t you take this out on him,” Julia interjected.  “He didn’t do anything to you.”

“Not to me, but he’s not _innocent_!” Lily shouted.  “Had it not been for their _bullying,_ I wouldn’t have had to step in and–“

James and Julia began shouting over each other.

“-Then he would have just gone on calling you that disgusting name behind your back!” James objected, sounding angrier than he felt.

“-Then you wouldn’t have a reason break it off!” Julia countered, frowning at Lily’s angry expression.  “ _This_ is your chance to yell at him.  Now you can tell him off!”

“Yell at who?” asked James. “I haven’t done anything…” He muttered, cowering slightly as Lily glared at him.

“Not _you_ ,” Mary said rolling her eyes.  “Snape.  He’s been out there since after dinner, sulking and pouting on the stair case, saying he’s going to wait for Lily so he can talk to her.  The Fat Lady is yelling at him and he’s yelling back and … I can’t believe you didn’t hear all of it,” she muttered, exasperated, as she looked at the group.

“I heard her yelling, but honestly she yells a lot so I didn’t think anything of it,” Remus shrugged, grinning when Peter, James and Sirius all agreed.

Lily narrowed her eyes at James when he laughed.  “I’m sure _you_ hear it because you’re always sneaking out and –“

“Hey,” Mary interrupted.  “I didn’t drag you down here in your night robes for you get shirty with them.  Julia’s right, _they_ didn’t do anything to you.  Snape is the one who called you… that name.  And he did it to your _face_ his time, how long has he been saying it behind your back?”

“Or, even if he hasn’t,” added James, “He’s not defending you when his little gang of freaks call you that.”

Lily flushed, tossing her hair over her shoulder and crossing her arms.  James withered a little at the sight. 

“I don’t _want_ to talk to him!” she growled.  “ _Ever_. He can sit out there all night-“

“Then he’ll just be there in the morning and it’ll be bad for everyone,” Julia countered. 

James puffed up his chest.  “Here, _I’ll_ go-“

“No.” Lily said firmly, holding out her arm to stop him. “That’s the last thing any of us need.  I… just… _fine_!  Fine, I’ll go.”  She took a deep sigh and steeled herself before pulling her robe tightly around her waist and striding out the portrait door.

Everyone fell silent and crept as close to the portrait hole as possible without making themselves obvious.  James felt himself holding his breath as he strained to listen to their conversation.

“What the Hell are you doing?” Lily snarled.  Despite the muffling of the portrait door between them, no one could mistake the rage in her voice.

“You didn’t come down to the feast.  You didn’t come down ever.  I’ve been watching-“

“Well, look how _observant_ you are,” Lily sneered.  “What were you waiting for?  What did you think was going to happen?  That I was going to come talk to you?”

“I wanted- I _need_ to talk to you,” Snape pleaded.  “I was angry after the O.W.L.  By the lake, Potter and-“

“Potter has nothing to do with this.  This is on _you_.  I came to help you – I _defended_ you!  And you said, “ _I don’t need help from filthy little mudblood’s like her_.’  _Mudblood’s_ like me.  All those times, you told me it didn’t matter – you _promised_ me it didn’t matter.  Then, when I stand up for you, you call me Mu –“

“ _I know what I called you_!” Snape shouted before taking a breath to compose himself.  “I’m _sorry_.”

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m _sorry_!”

“Save your breath.  I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here,” she sneered.

“I was.  I would have done.  I never meant to call you ‘Mudblood,’ it just –“

“Slipped out?” she asked without pity, “It’s too late.  I’ve made excuses for you for years.  None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.  You and your _precious_ little Death Eater friends,” she growled.  There was a beat of silence, then Lily began yelling agin. 

“You see!  You don’t even deny it!” she accused.  “You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be!  You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”

Snape made a noise of protest, but didn’t deny her allegations.  James’ ears felt hot.  He could almost hear Lily shaking her head, and if not, he was doing it for her.

“I can’t pretend anymore.  You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine,” she said with finality.

“No,” Snape pleaded.  “Listen, I didn’t mean-“

“To call me Mudblood?” Lily hissed, the word causing everyone behind the portrait hole to flinch.  “But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus.  Why should I be any different?”

The portrait opened and Lily stepped through, allowing everyone behind her to see his grief-stricken face before she slammed it shut.  There was silence, then footsteps.  After a moment The Fat Lady murmured, “He’s finally gone.  Thank Merlin for that!”

Lily sighed, closing her eyes and hanging her head.  Julia walked forward and pushed her hair out of her face gently.  “You’re right, you know.  You’ve know that for years, I think... and I know that-“

“Julia, I don’t need it right now, okay?” Lily sighed, her lip tucked between her teeth.

Julia nodded, stepping back and giving Lily her space.  Everyone stayed silent, not knowing what to say.  James was suddenly overwhelmed with an instinct.  “You hungry, Evans?”

Lily looked up, confused at his eagerness.  “Not exactly…”

“Yes, you are,” he insisted.  “Come on.  I’ll take you to the kitchens, we can get something to-“

“It’s midnight, Potter,” She protested.  “Besides, I don’t want to go sneaking-“

“-You get on a train tomorrow morning.  What’s the worst that could happen?  Besides,” he added, a confident (not arrogant) smile spreading across his face.  “I have _this_.”

He shook out his cloak before throwing it over his shoulders and disappearing. He listened long enough to hear her to gasp and Sirius to mutter “ _Show off_ ” before he lifted it again and placed it over Lily’s head.  Trying not to be overwhelmed with his good luck – sans lucky potion – he placed his hand at the small of her back and ushered her towards the portrait hole. 

James couldn’t help but grin at Lily’s bewildered expression.  She’d obviously never seen a house-elf before, and in the kitchens, there were hundreds of them.  Not all of them were out, but when they entered five had appeared and instantly began offering the two of them food.  Lily was slowly piecing apart a sandwich and watching the elves with wide, curious eyes.

“Does Miss want any dessert?  We is having plenty of leftovers.  Treacle tart, custard, chocolate cakes,” a male elf with a tuft of blond hair and eager eyes was saying to Lily. 

Her eyes were soft and her smile was gentle.  “No, thank you.  The sandwiches were enough.  You’ve already gone to too much-“

“’Tis no trouble at all, Miss!” The elf exclaimed. “Harbey and the other elves are glad to serve.  We know miss is always liking the pastries in the mornings in-“

“ _How_ do you know that?” asked Lily interestedly. 

James chuckled.  “They’ve been making your breakfast for five years, Evans.  They know what you like.”

“Yes, but they make breakfast for the whole table.  _Four_ tables to be exact.  Four houses, hundreds of students. How can you remember-“

“You is always sitting close to the end of the Gryffindor table, with other misses who have blond hair and another miss who has short dark hair.  The tray of pastries is always disappearing the quickest, and you is always happy when more is brought,” the elf explained.

“Harbey is right,” said another elf who had now appeared holding a tray of jelly filled pastries.  “You is loving the pastries, and the treacle.  We is remembering the Gryffindor prefect who is touched by the flames and her love of pastries.”

“’Touched by flames?’” asked Lily curiously.

“Your hair, miss,” the elf explained.

James nodded approvingly, a smile playing on his face.  “Touched by flames.  I like that,” he agreed.

Lily pursed her lips, but a dull blush that matched her red hair had spread across her cheeks and James could tell she was also pleased with the description.  She smiled gently then and accepted one of the pastries the elf was holding out for her.  He bowed low before approaching James and handing him a piece of chocolate cake.  Lily quirked her eyebrow.

“They know what I like,” James shrugged.

“You’re always scarfing down the treacle so I never pegged you for liking chocolate.”

“Everyone likes chocolate.”

“I don’t,” Lily replied.

“Really?” asked James. “Honeydukes chocolate?  Not even that?  That’s the best stuff in the world!”

Lily shrugged.  “It’s all right, but I honestly could take it or leave it.”

James shook his head, unable to keep a grin off his face.  “You never fail to surprise me.”

“It’s not that surprising,” she blushed. 

“About as surprising as your friendship with Snape,” James ventured. 

Her eyes flashed dangerously, and James stared directly back into them.  “Careful, Potter… you were just starting to grow on me.”

James paused.  Usually he was overly cautious in how he approached her, trying to appear gallant and brave the way every other girl expected him to be.  But in the last hour he’d realized that Lily Evans wasn’t every other girl.  Lily Evans was Lily Evans.  And Lily Evans wasn’t impressed with James Potter…

But James Potter wasn’t trying to impress her right now.  Instead, he’d decided he wanted to get to know her.  And getting to know her involved asking questions, questions he’d been wanting to ask for years. Questions like…

“Why _were_ you friends with Snape?” he pressed, honestly curious to the answer.  Lily’s eyebrows narrowed and her hands squished the last remaining piece of pastry into dust.  “I’m not criticizing, or taking the mickey,” he added trying to stave off her anger.  “I’m _honestly_ curious.  He’s in Slytherin, you’re in Gryffindor.  How did you maintain that friendship?  I saw you two on the train together first year.  How did _that_ happen?”

“We know each other outside of Hogwarts, _obviously_ ” Lily hissed.

“That would make sense,” James nodded.  “But how?”

Lily exhaled, her eyes dangerously angry.  “ _Potter_ -“

“Evans, just hear me out.  I’m confused.  I’m curious. I’m _concerned_ ,” he explained.  “I know you think I’m this bullying twit who is mean just for the Hell of it.  I’m _not_ … I’m honestly curious about how you – smart, clever _you_ – were friends with someone like _that_.  Someone so dark and … evil.  _Evil_ , Evans…those sods knew more curses stepping off the train than half the seventh years.  They know curses I’ve never even heard of.  How were you friends with someone like that?  With someone who would call you that disgusting word?”

“In my defense, prior to the lake, he’d never called me Mu-“

“ _Gah_ ,” James interrupted, holding up his hand.  “Don’t say it.  Don’t call yourself that.  I _hate_ that word.  It’s disgusting.”

Lily’s eyes opened slightly, she looked curious.  “You’re a pureblood.”

“Yeah, I am, and I _hate_ that word.  Any _decent_ pureblood agrees with me,” James asserted. “Sirius is a pureblood, he hates that word too.  So do Alice, and Marlene.  Do you remember Gideon and Fabian Prewett from a few years back?  They hated it. Frank Longbottom hates it, Dumbledore hates it.  Just because I’m pureblood doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone.  It’s blood, stupid blood.  And no one’s even a pureblood anymore anyway… they _think_ they are, but there’s muggle blood somewhere in their family.  It doesn’t mean anything.  It certainly doesn’t mean I’m any better than you, or Mary, or Sturgis, or anyone.”

James finished, staring back at Lily with a defiant expression.  He wasn’t backing down now.  If anything was going to be gained from this conversation, it would be that Lily would know James was _nothing_ like Snape.  Perhaps he could be a bully, but Snape never missed a chance to hex him either so neither of them were innocent.  James had half-blood and muggle-born friends that he liked better than most of the purebloods he knew.  James had friends in the muggle village in town that he ran around with during the summer.   Snape hated _everything_ … everything accept Lily it seemed like.  The only thing James hated was the darkness, and the Dark Arts that came with it.  He never understood why the dark arts appealed more to purebloods than it did to -

“We … sort of grew up together,” Lily blurted out, interrupting James’ rambling thoughts.  She stared into his brown eyes before looking down at her fingers.  Her expression was pained, almost as though she was asking for forgiveness. “Snape and I…we grew up together in a way.  For a few years, at least.”

James swallowed, leaning forward onto his knees and looking at Lily with a gentle expression.  Her eyes were narrowed, almost strained.  She twisted her fingers nervously in her lap. 

“I used to be able to do things when I was a kid,” she went on.  “Magic, you know.  I could move things and I could make myself float off the swings instead of fall.  I didn’t know what I was doing, but Snape did.  He lived nearby and he saw us, my sister and I, and he _knew_.  He told me everything: what I was, what was coming…”

“Your Hogwarts letter?” James clarified. 

“Yes,” she nodded.  “He explained the school, and wands, and owls… all of it.  When McGonagall came to talk to my parents, I knew _exactly_ what she was talking about.  I had to pretend that I didn’t.  Then, I guess, we came to school and … I was sorted in Gryffindor, he was sorted into Slytherin.  He hoped I’d get in there as well, or at least into Ravenclaw.  The Hat never said either, it went straight to Gryffindor.”

James chuckled.  “Mine did too.”

“I’d read about the houses beforehand, after I’d gotten my books.  He’d been going on about Slytherin, but I was glad I was sorted somewhere else.  Though, sometimes I wonder if the hat took my stubbornness as bravery when it put me in Gryffindor,” Lily confessed.

“You’re brave,” James reassured her. 

Lily smiled and chewed her lip. “Perhaps. But, as we got older and I saw what Snape was becoming, what he was growing into… I never said anything. I told him I didn’t like it, but I always let him talk me into believing that _I_ was different.  I was somehow different than all the other muggle-borns he called ‘ _mudblood_ ,’” she explained, frowning as James flinched at the word.  “I knew it wasn’t true, but I just … I couldn’t just abandon him.  When I go home for the summer, he’s been the only friend I have at home, and even with that I feel lonely.”

James tilted his head.  “Julia and you are close.  Surely –“

“I live in Cokeworth,” Lily interrupted.  “Julia lives all the way up in Durham.  I don’t have a broom, she doesn’t either.  My parents are muggle-born and traveling… costs a lot.  She’s come to see me before, but only on the way through to London.  We write, but that can be hard because I don’t have an owl so I have to rely on hers.  Snape was someone I could see every day and he … _knew_ me.  So, that’s why we were friends,” she finished. 

James nodded, standing up and moving over to where Lily was sitting.  She didn’t flinch away, but she didn’t look up at him either. “And now you’re not,” he confirmed as he sat down next to her.

Lily shook her head.  “Nope.”

“Which means… you have time for _other_ friends,” he continued, smiling when she looked up at him.  “I live just outside of Cricklaide, Moony lives in Bath-“

“Moony?”

“Remus,” James explained.

“The four of you have interesting nicknames,” Lily laughed.  “I forget who is who.”

James smiled, thankful the room was dim so Lily couldn’t see how wide his grin was. “Well, we are interesting characters.”

“Yes, that is true,” Lily agreed with a yawn. “It’s probably very late.”

“I suppose you are right,” sighed James.  As they rose to their feet, the house elves rushed out offering pastries and sandwiches to take with them back to the tower.

“The train ride is getting long,” Harbey explained as he shoved a package of cake and sandwiches into James’ hands.  “You is needing to eat more.  You is staying too skinny all year long.”

“I eat plenty,” James frowned.

Lily giggled.  “I’ll agree with that, and where do you put it?” she asked, poking him in the ribs.

“In my fathead, of course,” he explained, much to her amusement.  He took the sandwiches and thanked the elves while Lily did the same, then threw the cloak over their shoulders and headed back towards the tower. 

The walk didn’t seem as long to James this night as it had seemed in past trips to the kitchen.  That could have been because he had someone to walk with this time.  Lily was quiet, her brow furrowed as though she had a complex spell running through her mind.

“Trying to think of what to hex me with?” James whispered cautiously.

Lily smiled, stealing a glance in his direction before turning her eyes forward again.  “No, I was actually worried about seeing Peeves.”

“Ah, yes,” James chuckled.  “He can’t see us under here, but he’s always been able to sense something… if he does happen by I know where to go.”

“How _do_ you know where to go?” asked Lily curiously.  “Is that all you do in your spare time? Roam the halls looking for secret pathways?”

“It’s not all I do,” he grinned.  “But I’ve done it enough that I know where to go.  So, if Peeves happens, you’ll have to trust me.”

“I think that was also on my mind.”

“Trusting me?”

Lily nodded, chewing her lip as they reached the portrait hole.  “Orrery,” she breathed to the Fat Lady, who gave her a curious glance before swinging open the portrait hole.

James gathered the cloak, tucking it under one arm as he followed Lily through.  “You know, you have no reason _not_ to trust me.”

Lily swallowed, looking at James with a conflicted expression.  “But I also have no reason _to_ trust you.  We have a bad record, you and I.  You’ve bullied my friends-“

“He’s not your friend anymore-“

“Yes, but Bertram is,” Lily pointed out.  “So is Robb, and Max Linghold, and-“

“I don’t bully Max!  Or Bert – you know Bertram can be a right arse at times.  And Robb- _Robb’s_ my beater, we have a go at each other for-“

Lily shook her head.  “I can’t explain it, Potter,” she sighed.  “You can’t expect … Listen, you were nice to me tonight, and that’s wonderful.  And it was nice talking to you, but you can’t just expect me to suddenly change my mind about you after a few hours.”

“I don’t expect that,” James muttered.  “But you can at least… give me a chance now, right?  I’m not all bad.”

“I know you’re not all bad.”

James grinned compulsively.  Lily rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back the smile that came unbidden to her lips.  “So, write to me over the summer,” he pleaded.  “I’ll write to you.  If you get bored we can –“

“I told you, I don’t have an owl,” Lily reminded him.  “My sister would go mental.”

James scoffed.  “It’s just an owl.”

“She hates magic.”

James pursed his lips.  Lily was frowning sadly.  “I’ll send you my owl, he’ll stay until you can write back.  Or have Julia’s drop off a letter on his way back to Durham, they don’t mind as long as the instructions are clear.”

Lily smiled gently.  “I suppose I can do that.”

James nodded.  “Good,” he grinned, ruffling his hair before stepping around her into the common room. Lily turned to follow him, but he’d paused suddenly, a grin spreading uncontrollably across his face.

“What-?”

“ _Shhh_ ,” James hissed.  “Apparently, things got entertaining.”

Lily looked around him and clasped her hand over her mouth to stifle laughter.  Julia was straddled across Sirius’ lap in one of the arm chairs, kissing him fiercely.  His arms were tied around her waist and her fingers were laced into his thick black locks.  Lily laughed, the sound muffled by her hand as James sniggered beside her.

They stood for a few seconds watching as Sirius threaded his fingers into Julia’s hair to pull her closer.  Lily moved slyly around James and purposely pushed a stack of books onto the floor. They clattered loudly, causing Sirius and Julia to jump apart so fast that his hand got stuck in her hair.  She yelped as he pulled his hand free, jumping aside and straightening out her clothes. Sirius swore then muttered a quick apology before standing up. 

“What the-“

“ _Oops_!” Lily gasped, pressing her fingers to her collarbone dramatically.  “So clumsy of me.”

“Yeah, Evans,” James scolded.  “You really should watch where you’re going.”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” she agreed. “All that racket… I could disturb someone unexpectedly.”

“You’re back awfully late,” Julia snarled, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.

“You’re up awfully late,” Lily replied, still grinning as she mimicked her friend’s posture.   “Perhaps we should be getting to bed.”

“Hmmm,” murmured Julia, glancing down at Sirius before looking curiously at Lily and James.  “Perhaps.  I expect these two will want to _chat_ with each other.” 

Sirius pouted comically and Julia rolled her eyes.  “Don’t give me that face; I know you’re the type to kiss and tell and honestly, they _saw_ us so there’s no sense in denying that we were getting off with each other…”

James laughed and Sirius shrugged, a sly smile spreading across his face.  “Good to know.”

Lily rolled her eyes.  “Good night,” she laughed before walking up the stairs, giggling uncharacteristically as Julia raced after her. 

Sirius looked at James, who was still grinning broadly.  “Interesting night?” asked Sirius.

“Not as interesting as yours,” James laughed, smacking him hard on the back as they walked up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory. 


	2. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How much trouble could we get up to in the hallway?”
> 
> In which we establish information about families and states of mind.

In the morning Lily packed her things and followed the rest of the students as they walked the path from Hogwarts to the train station in Hogsmeade.  The end of the school year had come, and she was headed home, though she wasn’t looking forward to arriving home.  Her mother had something come up and Petunia was going to be picking her up in from the station.  An hour and a half long car ride with Petunia was not exactly the way she wanted to start her summer, but there was no other way around it. 

The train was noisy and crowded, but eventually Lily and Julia eventually found Mary, Marlene, and Samantha Pitchfield in one compartment and joined them, turning the conversation to what everyone had planned for the summer.

“I’m actually traveling to France,” Samantha told them all with an excited smile.  “Professor Flitwick talked to Madam Pomfrey and told her I was really interested in being a Healer.  She got me set up for a tour at the Nodens Academy for Healing and Magical Medicine with a student she’s taking in next year.”

“That’s great!” said Lily.  “I’ve always wanted to go to France.  My mum went a few years ago and said the beaches were gorgeous.”

Samantha nodded.  “They are, maybe I’ll have a chance to get some sun.  I’ll be spending about two weeks at the school so I’m very excited.”

“Are you pretty confident in your marks then, Sam?” asked Alexis Qualis, also from Ravenclaw, as she passed by the door.  Sam frowned slightly while Alexis smirked.  “You took an awfully long time during the potions O.W.L…”

Before Sam could reply someone laughed from across the aisle. “Qualis, considering that you _melted_ your cauldron during the exam, I’d worry about your marks before Pitchfield’s,” James pointed out as he peeked his head through the door. 

“I only melted it because you were distracting me with all your flirting,” Alexis replied, giving James a sly grin.

“That wasn’t flirting,” snorted James.  “That was me reminding you to put nettles in your cauldron before the dandelion root.  That was me trying to avoid the disgusting smell of your melting cauldron.  That was not flirting.  Flirting looks like this.”

He stepped in front of where Alexis was standing, running a hand through his hair before bracing his forearm against the doorframe and leaning casually against it.  Marlene, Sam, and Julia giggled while James grinned broadly at Lily.  Her cheeks felt hot and she tried to keep her expression neutral.

“Wotcher, Evans,” he purred.  “Did you get a chance to eat all your pastries this morning?”

Julia laughed while Lily continued to blush.  “I did, thanks for asking.”

“I saved you mine, in case you wanted more,” he offered, holding up a small bag. 

“Yeah, he saved them _all_ for you, Evans,” grumbled Sirius from behind him.  “Not to share the wealth with his mates, oh no…”  Sirius adopted a high-pitched mocking voice. “‘ _Hands off, those are for_ \- ‘”

“-I was checking out your abdominal muscles last night, Black,” Julia cackled from her seat.  “I hardly think you need any apple tarts.”

Sirius dove under James’ arm, an indignant expression on his face as he walked over to where Julia was sitting.  “My abdominal muscles are perfect,” he exclaimed, pulling up his shirt.

Julia poked him in the belly.  “Weak,” she mused. “And skinny.  The whole lot of you are skinny.”

 “Well, Worm- I mean… Peter not so much.  He’s stout,” Sirius shrugged as he flinched away from Julia’s poking fingers and lowered his shirt.

“ _Hey_!” Peter’s indignant voice called from across the hall.  “I take offense to being called ‘stout.’”

Sirius was about to add something but James cleared his throat.  “Anyway!  _Evans_ , would you like a pastry?”

Alexis rolled her eyes.  “Fifty-seventh time unlucky, Potter?” she asked.

“You know, I would like a pastry,” Lily chimed in, ignoring Alexis.  “I’d enjoy that very much, Potter.”

James grinned broadly, waving his wand to send the bag in Lily’s direction.  Though his expression shifted from one of amusement into horror as his spell missed the bag and hit the lock on Lily’s trunk.

The trunk popped opened and all the contents inside spilled out on top of Lily.  Clothes, parchment, books, keepsakes… everything she owned now covered her from head to lap.  James gaped at her with a dismayed expression while Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth and laughed uncontrollably. 

Alexis sniggered.  “Nice flirting, Potter.  Next time I’ll remember that you like to put clothes on people instead of take them off,” she laughed, elbowing James before walking away.

Lily exhaled and pursed her lips before glowering at James.  He sputtered and walked into the compartment, followed closely by Remus and Peter who’d run over from across the aisle to see what the commotion was. 

“I am so, so, sorry. Evans, I’m _so_ sorry,” he mumbled, picking up one of her books that had fallen on the floor and handing it to her.  As Lily reached for it, a single shoe fell out of her trunk and bounced off the top of her head.  James winced under her glare.  “I’m sorry?”

By this point Sirius was practically sobbing with laughter.  Julia swatted him over the head and stood up.  “This really won’t take long to put back, Lily,” she reassured her.

“No, I know,” sighed Lily, standing up and shaking the clothes off her.  She looked at the mess around her before pulling her wand from her robes.  Together her and Julia muttered under their breath until all her belongings were restored to the trunk and Lily reached up to lock it.  She turned back to James, who was uncharacteristically red in the face 

“I _am_ sorry, Evans,” he apologized.  “I really didn’t- “

“I know you didn’t mean to,” Lily reassured him.  “Now where are my pastries?  I should at least get something for my trouble.”

James smirked and handed her the bag, which she took with a grin before sitting down again.  James moved over slightly so Peter could come in and sit next to Sirius and watch as he flirted relentlessly with Julia.  Remus joined him in leaning casually against the door frame, looking a little flustered when Sam Pitchfield smiled at him.  Conversation resumed and everyone began to discuss O.W.L. results and what they thought the next year would bring as they begun working towards N.E.W.T. classes and the final round of tests in their seventh year.

“I’m dreading it to be honest,” Marlene confessed when Lily asked how she felt about it being her final year at Hogwarts.  “There’s so much pressure.  McGonagall is just on me to figure out what I want to do after school.”

“We had those meetings this year, too.  McGonagall is intense about it,” agreed Peter.

Sirius laughed.  “I don’t think she was terribly impressed with my plans to overthrow the Ministry and abolish the Statute of Secrecy.”

James, Remus, and Peter laughed and Julia rolled her eyes, but Marlene frowned disapprovingly.  “You didn’t _really_ say that, did you?”

“Not in those exact words, but I implied it,” Sirius grinned.

“I thought the Statute kept us safe,” Samantha questioned, looking at Remus, who Lily knew she considered the most reasonable of the four.

“It does… to some extent,” he admitted.

“But it prohibits us from helping muggles when they need it, like right now when there are so many disappearing,” James piped up.  “If you try to help muggles under attack without contacting the ministry first, you get hauled in front of the whole court.  It’s ridiculous.”

Marlene considered this.  “You have a point, but I don’t think _overthrowing_ it is a good idea.”

“Expanding it isn’t though,” James grumbled.  “That’s what they keep trying to propose.  They keep trying to separate us thinking that will stop the Voldemo-“

A cry of alarm went up around the cabin.  Marlene yelped and Sam gasped loudly.  Peter bleated out a noise while Lily cringed and Julia shouted, “ _Don’t say the name_!”  Remus and Sirius were largely unaffected by it, as though they were used to James calling him by name.

James dramatically rolled his eyes.  “It’s just a name… anyway, my point is separating us is bad for everyone and it will do nothing to stop them from attacking Muggles.  If anything, all the stupid registration stuff they’re proposing under the guise of trying to track disappearances will just make targets easier to find.  There’s a mole in the Ministry my dad says.”

Lily and Sam looked at each other, having felt the effects of the minor expansions to the Statue of Secrecy personaly.  There were restrictions on travel to and from muggle residences, restrictions on communication with muggle families of students...  Lily’s parents had been uncomfortable with the fact they didn’t know exactly where she was during the school year.  She wondered if Samantha’s parents felt the same.

“Sam, how do you get home from the train station?” asked Lily after a moment of silence.

“Woah, hang on,” Sirius laughed.  “ _Where_ did that come from? We go from Statute of Secrecy to asking how Pitchfield gets home?”

“I was just thinking about how I can’t travel by broom because I’m underage, and I can’t Apparate, and my mum can’t walk me to the gate so getting to and from the station has always involved a car and talking to that bloke who guards the platform.  I wondered if Sam had the same travel struggles,” she explained.

“See?  It’s stupid,” James argued. “There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to travel by broom.  It’s-“

“Lily shouldn’t be allowed to travel by broom even if she is of age,” Mary teased while Julia sniggered.

“Shut up,” Lily snapped, fighting a smile. 

“Why not?” asked James.

“I can’t fly well.”

“That’s an understatement,” Julia laughed.  “Last time she was on a broom she crashed into the shed after screaming that she was going to die.”

James looked at Lily incredulously.  “ _Really_?”

“Yes, and shut up!  You can’t levitate a bag across the room, Potter,” she reminded him with a raised eyebrow.

“Fair enough,” grinned James.  “Tell you what, you teach me how to use the levitation charm properly and I’ll teach you how to fly.”

Lily smiled despite herself.  “Thanks, but I really don’t _need_ to learn how to fly.  After next year I can Apparate or … I’ll get a car or something.”

“Rubbish,” James scoffed.  “Flying lessons: you and me, start of term.  It’s a date.”

“It’s _not_ a date,” Lily stressed.

“Back to your question,” Sam laughed.  “I don’t live too far away from Bath so my parents drive as well.”

“Moony lives near Bath!” James exclaimed.  “Right outside Hawkswarren.”  He gave his friend a wink and Remus blushed.

Lily nodded before looking out the train window, noting how the landscape was looking more and more familiar.  They would be in London soon and the magic of the school year would officially be over.

“Evans, what did you tell McGonagall you wanted to do when you had your little meeting?” asked James, following Lily’s gaze.

Lily shrugged.  “I’m in the same boat as Marlene, I don’t have the faintest,” she admitted.  “But magical has always interested me, or healing possibly.”

“So, an Auror,” James grinned.  “We’d live _and_ work together.”

Lily looked up at James’ grin and fought back a laugh.  “Another one of your wild fantasies, Potter? I’m not sure what world you’re inhabiting that you and I live _and_ work together, but it’s not the one I inhabit.”

“You’ll change your mind.”

Lily scoffed. “You are incorrigible.  That imagination will take you places someday… I only hope you’ll stay there.”

“You know,” James continued, “I have always wanted to see a film. My dad bought a television last summer, and all we did was watch all these Muggle films-”

“He bought a television?” asked Marlene.  “Whatever for?  Don’t they go haywire around magic?”

“Yeah, it does go a bit wonky sometimes,” James admitted. 

“The radio does the same thing, but we can charm it enough to where it works,” Sirius chimed in.

“But,” James continued. “My point is… I live in Cricklade, you live in Cokeworth, would you like to see a film with me, Evans?”

“Considering we’re not even on a first name basis yet, _Potter_ , probably not,” said Lily as the train lurched to a stop. 

James stood, looking a little pouty as he helped Lily with her trunk before crossing the hall to gather his belongings.  The rest of the cabin occupants gathered their things and moved onto the platform where they said their good-byes, hugging and promising to write before crossing the barrier into the muggle world.

As soon as Lily was on the platform, the sense of dread she’d been feeling dropped from her chest into her stomach.  She looked at the clock; it was 6:30 so the train must have gotten in a little late. She did not see her mother’s nor her sister’s car anywhere close by.  She glanced hopefully at figures standing along the street, but she didn’t see anyone there either.  Lily frowned, taking a seat atop her trunk as she tried to figure out what to do next.

“All right, Evans?” asked James.  He was walking towards her with his cloak slung casually over his shoulders.  Lily glanced behind him at an older looking couple standing near an inconspicuous looking car.  Sirius was talking excitedly to them and they were gazing down at him fondly.  She guessed they must be James’ parents; the man was wearing round glasses atop his long nose and the woman had the exact same smile as James did.

“Hey, Evans… you okay?” he asked again after she failed to respond.  “You look a little lost.”

“Oh, um… I’m fine,” Lily lied.  “My sister is supposed to pick me up so I’m just… waiting.”

“Train got in a little late,” mused James.  “Shouldn’t she be here already?”

Lily chewed her lip.  “She’s usually prompt.  Perhaps she just… drove around the parking lot or something to pass time.”

James frowned and ruffled his hair, looking to his parents and Sirius.  James’ father nodded, indicating they would wait, but his mother was looking at Lily with a concerned expression.

“Do you want someone to wait with you?” asked James.

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” said Lily.  “I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.  The station doesn’t close until eight o’clock...  I’ll be fine,” she added, chewing her lip.

James was not convinced, but he acquiesced and gave her a small smile before wandering back to where his parents and Sirius were waiting.

“What’s going on, Jamesy?” asked his mother.  “Who is that girl?”

“Oh, that’s Lily Evans.  She’s in our year,” said James.  “Her sister was supposed to pick her up but… she’s not here.”

“Did you offer her a ride?” asked James’ father.  “It’d be no trouble at all.  We have plenty of room even with you and Sirius’ trunks.” 

“I can walk, Mr. Potter, really,” Sirius insisted.  “It’s not- “

“Nonsense,” scoffed Mrs. Potter.  “If it’s not that far, then it’s no trouble for us to take you, if you’re sure you even want to go.”

Sirius smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.  “I should go home. I should.  It’s fine.  Thank you, though.”

“Who was the girl _you_ were talking to earlier?” asked James’ mum curiously. 

“ _That’s_ Julia Tottleham,” James laughed.  “She’s in our year as well.  Sirius says he really- “

“She’s a very nice girl,” Sirius interjected, giving James an angry look.  “ _Just_ like Lily Evans over there, who James has been- _ooof_ – asking out since third year,” he finished, nursing the spot where James had elbowed him.  Sirius smirked and James began running through a laundry list of hexes he’d use on him later. 

“It’s obvious you are interested in her, James,” his father laughed. “No reason to look embarrassed about it.”

James ruffled his hair.  “She shouldn’t be left here.  We should wait a bit… don’t you think?”

James’ mum pursed her lips thoughtfully.  “With everything that’s going on… Yes, I agree.  But let’s not wait… go tell her we’ll give her a ride to wherever she needs to go.  You’re right, she shouldn’t be left alone.  I’ll come with you, I’m curious as to why you’re blushing so.”

“ _Mum_!” James hissed, following in his mother’s wake.  By the time he’d managed to catch up, his mother had already tapped Lily on the shoulder and was smiling down at her.

“Dear, we can’t leave you here at the station all by yourself.  It’s not safe and we’ve plenty of room.  Come, we’ll take you home,” she insisted.

“Oh, that’s very kind but it’s really not necessary,” Lily stammered.  “I’m sure my sister will- “

“It’s getting close to 7:00, dear,” James’ mum pointed out.  “We can’t just leave you here alone.”

“I … I don’t want to put you out or- “

“You’re not putting us out at all, is she James?” said Mrs. Potter with a grin.  James just swallowed and shook his head.  “There’s plenty of room, come along now.”

Lily nodded, tucking her hair behind her reddening ears.  James grabbed her trunk before she could protest and hauled it quickly to their car.  James’ mother got into the front seat, and James opened the door gesturing Lily should enter the back one before and Sirius got in.

Once inside the car, Lily realized again just how much magic she didn’t know.  The car, which on the outside appeared to be a normal sedan, was large enough that she could have stretched out and lay down were she so inclined.  Even with three of them in back there was plenty of room between she and James and Sirius.  James sat closest to her, and Lily felt a little relived when she noticed his cheekbones were just as red as her ears surely were. 

“Wotcher, Evans,” Sirius grinned.  “You could have just asked for a ride earlier.”

“My sister was supposed to pick me up,” she frowned.  “Maybe I took too long getting my stuff and … she probably just left.”

“Without waiting for you?” asked Mr. Potter with a scoff.  “ _That’s_ rude.”

Lily swallowed.  “She’s very impatient.”

Mr. Potter frowned.  “Well, no matter.  It’s nice to have you aboard, Lily Evans.”

Lily flushed.  “Thank you.  And thank you for the- “

“It’s no trouble at all, dear,” Mrs. Potter grinned over her shoulder.  “However, James has forgotten his manners and not introduced us,” she scolded.

James swallowed and his face turned red.  “Right… sorry.  Evans this is my dad Fleamont, and my Mum Euphemia.”

James’ mother laughed and rolled her eyes a little.  “So _formal_. I’m glad you took us up on the offer, Lily; I’m not sure we could have gotten James to leave while you were waiting.  He was very- “

“ _Mum_!” James snapped, his cheeks reddening even more.  Sirius sniggered beside him. 

On the short drive to where Sirius resided, Mr. and Mrs. Potter fired off question after question to the boys and Lily about the school year: what they had done, how O.W.L.s went, what they felt they learned.  Lily mostly kept quiet and let the boys do the talking.

“Evans is ace at Potions,” Sirius admitted, causing Lily to grin.  “Everyone asks her for help, even James and I.”

“A natural knack for it, eh?” asked James’ dad interestedly as they pulled up to Sirius’s home. 

“I suppose,” Lily smiled, watching as Sirius and got out to unload his trunk.  She followed he and James onto the sidewalk, watching the door to Sirius’ home appear out of nowhere.  Though she was incredibly interested in how it worked, how Sirius’ house was hidden in plain sight, she refrained from asking as Sirius did not appear happy to be home.  His expression was resigned and dark.  James clapped him on the shoulder, a pensive expression on his face.

“Have a good holiday, Sirius,” Lily ventured, trying for cheerfulness.

Sirius gave her a half smile and nodded. “You as well, Evans,” he replied before looking at James and his parents. 

“I’ll let you know.”

“Anytime, Pads.  Anything.  You know?” James muttered.  Sirius only nodded.

“He’s right, Sirius,” Mr. Potter agreed.  “You know where we live and how to reach us.  If you need anything, send an owl or take the Knight Bus and come over. Anytime.”

Sirius nodded again.  “Thank you, Mr.- “

“You know damn well you can call me Monty,” Mr. Potter insisted, clapping him on the shoulder.  Mrs. Potter ruffled Sirius’ hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead.  Sirius smiled sadly, then turned towards the door and walked away.  Mr. and Mrs. Potter got back in the car, but James stayed back for a second, watching his friend sadly. 

“Is he okay?” Lily asked quietly.

James cleared his throat and looked sharply from Sirius to Lily.  “Yup.  He’s all right.  It’s… it’s complicated,” he explained.  “Anyhow, back in the auto… you first, my _lady_.”

Lily rolled her eyes and fought back a smile as she climbed in the back seat.  The car rumbled to life and they moved down the streets of London towards the countryside once again.

“Cokeworth isn’t terribly far from where we live,” Mrs. Potter explained.  “We’ll have you home in no time.”

“Thank you again, Mrs. Potter,” Lily smiled. 

Mrs. Potter shook her head.  “Call me Effie, everyone does,” she insisted with a smile.  “So, tell us more about potions, Lily.  If James is asking for help you must be _very_ bright.”

Lily flushed.  “Oh, James is just as bright as me. He just- “

James scoffed.  “Don’t sell yourself short, Evans. Slughorn just _loves_ her, Mum… as well he should.  Rumor is you finished your draught of living death for O.W.L.s in half the time it normally takes.”

James’ mother grinned at her and his father made an impressed noise.  “Absolutely a natural talent, then.  Potions doesn’t come easy for just anyone.  Most wizards I know have some trouble with it unless they spend years doing it consistently.”

“You never did,” James’ mother pointed out.

“Well, _I’d_ grown up with my dad brewing all kinds of nonsense, of course,” he muttered, grinning as James rolled his eyes.  Lily just laughed to herself and sat back in the seat, enjoying the view as they rolled out of London and into the countryside.

It was just before 9:00 when they arrived at Lily’s house.  James smiled as he looked it over: blue shutters against white paint, a little bed of flowers under the large window on the left of the house. The soft glow of electric lights blossomed out onto the small yard and sidewalk that led to her front door.  Lily frowned as she got out and James noticed her mother’s figure pacing in front of the window.

“Your mum looks worried.”

“Yes,” she agreed, chewing her lip.  “I hope she hasn’t had too much of a fright.”

“Do you think something happened with your sister?” asked James’ mother, getting out of the car and following James and Lily up the sidewalk, her husband at her side.

“I don’t know,” Lily replied warily.  “But- “

The door flew open and Lily’s mother threw her arms around her daughter and let out a laugh.  “ _Oh_ , thank _heavens_ you’re all right!” she exclaimed.  “It’s not your fault, Lily.  I’ve been worried sick though.”

“I’m sorry, Mum,” Lily muttered.  “Petunia… wasn’t there. I don’t know – “

Lily’s mother shook her head, putting her hands against Lily’s cheeks.  “She’s fine.  It’s… well... well, it doesn’t matter.  Thank you for bringing her home,” she sighed, looking to James and his parents.  “I really can’t thank you enough.  I had an engagement and-”

“It was no trouble at all,” James’ mother laughed.  “Lily is a delightful girl, it was nice to get to chat with her.”

“Can I ask your names? Perhaps you’d like a cup of tea before you head out?” Lily’s mother offered, gesturing toward the house.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” Lily stammered.  “This is my mother, Rose Evans.  Mum, this is James Potter and his parents Fleamont and Euphemia Potter.  James is in my year at Hogwarts.”

“You can call us Effie and Monty,” said James’ mum, reaching out to shake Rose’s hand.

“It’s really a pleasure to meet you,” Lily’s mum said, shaking all the Potter’s hands in turn “I so rarely meet anyone Lily goes to school with.”

 “The pleasure is ours, Rose,” Mrs. Potter beamed.  “We’d love to come in for a moment.  Will your husband be home soon?  We’d love to meet him as well.”

Lily grimaced and looked at her feet.  Her mother smiled and put an arm around her shoulders. “Actually, it’s just Lily and I here now.  My husband passed away last summer right before Lily went to school.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Mrs. Potter said, looking to James, whose expression mirrored her own shock. “I’m so very sorry.  Here, let’s head in for that cup of tea, it’s a bit chilly outside.  James, you help Lily with her trunk.  We’ll put a kettle on,” she suggested, ushering everyone inside. 

James grabbed hold of Lily’s trunk and followed her as she walked through the living room and down the hall.  They passed two rooms before turning into a small room on the right of the hallway. He saw a few recognizable items that designated this as Lily’s room.  There was a copy of her Hogwarts letter framed on the nightstand, a few pictures of her from when she was younger, and one magical picture tacked to a board near the window that James couldn’t really make out.  The bed was made up neatly with a blue spread and James sniggered when Lily hastily put away the pajamas her mom had left set out for her.

“Sorry about that,” she said awkwardly.  “Thanks for the help with my trunk… _and_ the ride home.”

James shrugged.  “No worries.  I’m… sorry about your dad,” he murmured, fingers knotted in his hair.

“Yeah,” Lily frowned as she looked at her feet.

“You never mentioned it.”

“We never talked.  Why would I?”

James gave an acquiescing shrug, but he still felt bad that with all the things he _did_ know about Lily, he didn’t know her father had died.  After a moment of awkward silence, J ames stepped around her and back out into the hall. 

“Your mom said it’s just you two now?” he asked, thinking of the sister Lily kept mentioning.

“ _Yes_ ,” Lily hissed, giving James a conspiratorial look.  “Which is news to me.  She must have moved out.”

“How old is your sister?”

“She’s 18, but she’s _just_ 18\. She turned in June,” Lily explained.  “I just can’t believe she’d move out and leave Mum here all alone.  I….” she stammered.  Suddenly she looked irritated and pushed around James to push open a door on the left side of the hallway.

James peered in over her shoulder. The room had a single bed and dresser, but otherwise looked unlived in.  Lily growled as they shut the door and looked up at James, who had learned by now that when Lily looked _that_ angry it was best to stay quiet

“She moved out,” Lily confirmed.  “I cannot _believe_ she moved out!”

“Well, she did … just… _abandon_ you at Kings Cross.  Is it so hard to imagine?”

Lily frowned.  “I suppose not, but that’s _me_.  It’s one thing to hate me, but it’s entirely another to let Mum- “

“Wait, your sister hates you?” asked James.  “Surely she doesn’t _hate_ you.”

Lily laughed darkly.  “We’ll get into that some other time, it’s complicated,” she muttered before looking back to the sitting room.  “Come on, they’re going to start wondering what we’re up to.”

James chuckled.  “How much trouble could we get up to in the hallway?”

Lily smirked.  “Where’s that lofty imagination of yours _now_ , Potter?” she asked, stepping around him and walking down the hall and into the kitchen.  James gaped after her in amused shock.

The Potter’s stayed for a small cup of tea, the adults fascinated with each other’s lives while Lily and James just sat and watched, amusement punctuated every so often with twinges of embarassment.  After they left, Lily’s Mum filled her in on what had happened with Petunia while they washed up the kettle and cups.

“Why did she move out?” asked Lily angrily.  “I can’t believe – I’m… I’m so _angry_.”

“You shouldn’t be,” her mum replied.  “She’s happier.  She found a typist job in London, she’s got a very nice little flat.  She comes for dinner every Saturday and calls almost every day, so it’s not as though she’s not checking in.”

“No, I suppose not.  But still… what’s in London anyway?”

“Well, the job I just mentioned, a few of her friends… a _boy_ ,” Lily’s mum explained.

Lily rolled her eyes.  “And how long has that been going on?”

“Just started.  She’s fancied him since she started working though.  He’s a junior executive and he’s taken her out _three_ times now.  That’s what happened tonight,” Rose then explained, sounding slightly irritated.  “She called me from the restaurant and told me the train got in late and she wouldn’t be able to get you because they had dinner reservations.”

Lily’s mum frowned as she stacked another dish in the cupboard.  “I was… not pleased. There have been all kinds of strange things happening lately, especially in London.  Lots of people disappearing without a trace.  I called the station and they said no one was there and no one had come to the desk for help.  But… I _know_ you, so I gathered you found a way home somehow, otherwise you would have called.”

“Perhaps I _should_ have called; I didn’t even think of it.  We stopped to drop off Potter’s best friend is why it took longer,” Lily explained.  “And it’s not _your_ fault.  She should have told him she had plans or something.”

“I told her that. Especially with those disappearances.”  Her mum paused, trying to read Lily’s expression.  “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“I haven’t heard anything,” she lied. “I try to stay focused on school.  But, I’ll be careful. I promise, Mum.”

“Uh huh,” her Mother answered, narrowing her eyes.  “Perhaps you should stick close to that James Potter and your friends.  He seems fond of you.”

Lily fought back a smile, wondering why in the world her stomach was suddenly twisting in knots.  “Potter is… Potter is nice, but he’s not _nearly_ as nice to others as he is to me.”

“Oh?”

“He can be a real toerag at times.”

“That’s not uncommon for teenage boys, Lily,” her mum explained.  “Magical or not.”

“He can be a bully.”

Rose nodded, knowing exactly how Lily felt about bullies.  “Well, if he really wants to have your attention he’ll have to knock that off, won’t he?”

“Who says I want him to have my attention even if he does quit that?”

Rose laughed.  “Your little comment in the hallway,” she explained, watching Lily’s widen in embarrassment.  “Don’t think I didn’t hear all of your whispering.  I know every sound in this house.  It’s very quiet when it’s just me.”

Lily frowned, thinking of her dad.  “Well, this summer I’ll be sure to make it loud for you.”

And she did try to keep the house noisy and active, but it was hard with just one person.  Lily spent a lot of time with her books, and dreaming about using her wand.  At least with Severus she’d had a person to converse with about magic.  Now she had no one at all.  It was lonely, and at times it made her feel like such an outsider that she wondered if she should return to Hogwarts at all. 

Then, in mid-July, she received a letter from Julia that cheered her up dramatically.

“ _I can come for couple of days if your mum doesn’t mind.  It’ll be fun, we can go shopping for a new dress that you can wear to that do Slughorn hosts every year.  Write me back and we can make plans. I’ve told Gerard to wait and peck at you until you write back so get to it, Evans.”_

The owl did what was asked and waited, hissing at Lily until she took up a quill to write a response.  Her mother had been fascinated, petting the owls feathers gently as it cooed and tipped its head into her hand. Lily realized the few letters she’d gotten from her friends in the past had all been surreptitiously delivered straight to her window rather than anywhere in the house.   

“They’re smart, too,” she explained, handing her letter to the spotted owl and scratching its feathers before watching it fly out the kitchen window.  “He stayed until I wrote back, and he must know that Petunia is gone.”

“Why do you think that?” asked Lily’s mum.

“Because he came to _this_ window rather than the one in my bedroom.  Petunia… one time when you weren’t home, he came to bring a letter and she flew into hysterics.  Threw things at him to try and scare him away, called me all sorts of names.  He only came to my window after that.”

Rose Evans frowned.  “You realize… she’s just … I don’t know how to explain it.  She thinks we loved you more than –“

“That’s _ridiculous_ ,” Lily balked.  “Look at all the stuff you went to for her while she was in school.  Vocal concerts, her graduation, all of that.  You can’t come to any of that for me.”

“It’s not that we didn’t _want_ to come see you. You know that, right?”

“I know, but you see her more than me.  I’m off in some castle and you all were here.  It’s not… I didn’t _choose_ this.  Why does she hate me for something I didn’t choose?” asked Lily. 

“She doesn’t hate you.  I think she’s angry because… maybe because it’s a choice she didn’t have.  But, that’s just part of life.  Sometimes you don’t get to choose,” she said a little sadly. 

Lily frowned.  She knew her mum was still grieving; Lily was as well.  But they didn’t know how to talk about it. 

“Anyway, of course it’s fine if your friend comes for a week or so.  In fact, you can send letters and invite a few friends if you want,” Rose continued, changing the topic.

“Julia and Samantha are probably my closest friends, and Mary,” Lily explained.  “I don’t know how they’d get here though.  Honestly, I don’t know how Julia is getting here.  I don’t have any way to send a letter now.”

“You should get an owl,” her mum added.

“They’re very expensive; we don’t-“

“We’d manage, Lily,” she asserted.  “When you go shopping for your school books, I insist you get one.  Your list should be coming soon, right?”

Lily nodded, knowing her supply list would be included with her O.W.L. results.   Whether she could take certain classes next year depended on her marks.  She knew for certain she’d want to continue with Potions, Charms, and Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts.  She would also stick with Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures simply because they were enjoyable and Herbology was required for most professions.  Most the classes she liked always ended up being with Slytherin house, which was never fun but would be worse now that she and Severus were on the outs.

She half expected that he would try to visit her at home; the thought made her stomach twist and her blood feel hot.  But he never did.  No one visited except for Petunia every Saturday and, finally, Julia during the last week in July.

“How’d you do on your OWLs?” she asked as they sat in the grassy field by a park across from Lily’s house.

“Fine, I got O’s in Charms, Potions, Defense, and Herbology, an E in Transfiguration, History of Magic, Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures, and an A in Divination, but I wasn’t too concerned with that,” Lily explained.  “I think I’m dropping it anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

“Same for me, only I got an E in Divination, and an A in Astronomy. But the rest were the same.  Wait, no… I got an P in Care of Magical Creatures,” Julia added with a laugh.

Lily laughed.  “You can see the future but you can’t take care of a bowtruckle.”

“I can, I just don’t want to,” Julia shrugged.  “So, we’ll be in the same classes again.  I’m guessing Mary did well, and Sam.  I’ve heard as people get weeded out and start dropping classes we get intermixed so we might see her more often.”

Lily nodded, frowning as she fiddled with a piece of grass.  Julia tilted her head, leaning up on her elbows and eyeing her curiously. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been quiet.”

“I’m fine.  Nothing is wrong,” she replied, her voice wavering a bit.

“Well, the grass in front of you begs to differ. You’ve torn it to shreds.  Spill… what’s wrong?”

Lily sighed, chewing her lip.  “Have you been reading the Prophet?”

“No, I haven’t.  I hear enough from my parents; but I gather _you’ve_ been reading it,” replied Julia.  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lils.  You know-“

“They’re proposing a registration for Muggle-borns now.  I’d have to sign up and be on a list, and wand registration; all to keep me safe, of course.  And there’s talk of aptitude tests for Muggle-borns to find a job and-“

“It’ll never pass, trust me.  It’ll _never_ pass.  There are too many Muggle-borns or Half-bloods on the Wizengamot to let that through.  People would pitch a fit.  You don’t need-“

“Did you hear about all the disappearances happening?”

“Honestly, I haven’t. But I don’t know anyone who’s gone-“

“That’s because they’re _all_ muggles.  There’s been about 20 reported disappearances in London and who knows how many unreported.  My mum heard about it, that’s why she was so upset when I didn’t come home right away after Petunia left me at the station.  People are disappearing,” Lily explained, her voice wavering.

“You don’t know… I mean… we don’t know for sure that it’s-“

“-Don’t be daft.”

“I’m not being daft,” Julia argued.  “I’m being logical.  Besides, what are _you_ supposed to do about all this?  It’s not like you can stop it.  What are you going to do, not come back to school?” she asked with a scoff. 

Lily was silent as she tore at a piece of grass.

A moment later, Julia inhaled sharply and glared at her.  “Lily, that’s _not_ an option.”

“Yes, it is,” Lily insisted.  “It was a choice to come to begin with; McGonagall even said so.  ‘ _It’s your choice if you want to learn this,_ ’ she said before going on about how we’d have to keep it a secret and no one outside our family could know.  My mum can’t even come visit me or… she went one year to buy books with me but it was so overwhelming to her I just do it on my own now.  That was all a choice, so is this.  It’s an option.”

“No, no it’s _not_!” shouted Julia angrily.  “No… you _can’t_.  You can’t do that Lily.  You’d just be throwing away part of yourself; you’d be denying –“

“I didn’t _choose_ this!” Lily argued.  “I didn’t…  I’m _hated_ , Julia.  I’m hated for something I can’t help.  I didn’t choose any of this and people _hate_ me for it.”

“You may not have chosen it, but it chose you.  It’s part of you.  You can’t just _shut down_ something inside you.  For whatever reason, you were meant to be a witch, and you’re meant to do great things with it. I know this… I believe it with all my heart,” said Julia emphatically.

Lily frowned and stared off in the distance.  Julia slid closer to her and laid her head on her shoulder.  “Besides you _love_ magic, Lily.  You love potions and charms… you love all the weird creatures and things magic can do.  You love the school, and the people… you love _me_ ,” she teased, making Lily laugh. “You can’t leave all that behind, you just can’t.”

Lily nodded acquiescingly.  “What if I told you I’m scared?”

“You’re not the only one,” Julia admitted.  “But… that’s all the more reason you can’t just leave.  Don’t let those crazy bastards scare you away.  That’s not how everyone thinks and you know it.  No one hates you, and even if they did they don’t matter at all.”

“I know.”

“Listen, I understand where you’re coming from,” Julia explained, throwing her arms around Lily.  “I do.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to have people call you that awful name and doubt you because of what family you came from.  I understand.  But there are so many people who disagree with them, Lily.  Just because Snape-“

“This has _nothing_ to do with Snape,” Lily interrupted.  “I haven’t even thought about that, honestly, but since you brought it up… the fact that he could lie about feeling that way about me, then _suddenly_ turn… what if someone else does that?”

“He didn’t suddenly turn,” she said thoughtfully.  “He was humiliated.  You’ve complained for years about James Potter being an arrogant toerag, but _Snape_ is just as arrogant.  He’s constantly banging on about how brainy he is and how much better he is than anyone, and all those curses he knows and how he just … _lusts_ for control.  Not just control over magic, he wanted control over you,” she said, giving Lily a poignant look. 

“I never let him control me,” she replied.

“No, but how many times did you tell him off or fight with him because he said he wouldn’t _let_ you do something?  He wouldn’t let you be in any house but Slytherin, but you were.  He wasn’t going to let you be friends with _me_ because I liked divination, or Mary because she was a gossip, yet you were.  He was _constantly_ trying to control you. 

“When Potter and Black get after him it’s mean, yes, but they take away that control and you… rushing in just made it worse.  He was angry and he threw out the thing he knew would insult you the most, like he wanted to remind himself that _someone_ was beneath him.  You never let him get to you when you wanted to do all those other things, don’t let him subconsciously get to you now.”

Lily looked at Julia, impressed by her ability to read through to the truth of things.  Even as children, Snape tried to control her.  He monopolized her playtime, he made it clear her relationship with Petinua wasn’t worth anything now that she was a witch and Petunia was _“just a muggle.”_   Regardless of whatever else Severus may feel for her, he’d made it clear that every other muggle-born, or half-blood, or pureblood, who he deemed beneath him deserved vile treatment.  Why _should_ she be any different?

“ _Please_ don’t leave school,” Julia pleaded.  “ _Please_.  I’d be heartbroken, Lily.  And think about Potter… oh my _God_.  He’d go mental.”

“I haven’t thought about Potter all summer either.”

“ _Liar_ ,” Julia laughed.  “You are _such_ a liar.”

Lily scowled and shoved a laughing Julia into the grass before smiling sheepishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that got stuck in my head: Oh, What a Night: The Four Seasons


	3. A Flock of Owls

**A Flock of Owls**  
Song stuck in my head: _Queen – You’re My Best Friend  
_

* * *

 

The weather in Cricklaide had been glorious all summer.  James had spent hours outside on his broomstick or messing about with the local Muggle boys that lived nearby.  He’d also spent a great deal of time laying in his bed flat on his back staring at the ceiling and thinking about Lily Evans.  Which was fine some of the time, and other times left him a little rejected.  He finally told his parents about it one morning when he’d been woken up way too early by the sound of a dog barking.

“They’ll have to train that out of him,” his father said as they listened to the bark.  “I don’t mind a little barking, but this has been going on since last night.  Anyway… back to Lily Evans,” he murmured, looking to James.  “You’ve asked her out, again and again, and she’s repetitively said no…”

“When you put it like that, it sounds a little dodgy,” admitted James.

“Perhaps it is,” his mum added. “That may not be your intention, but if you look at it from her perspective…  It sounds like she responded better to you when you just tried to be her friend, or when you treated her like you treat Sirius.”

“I can’t treat her like I treat Sirius; she’s a girl,” James muttered, thinking that if he enchanted her hairbrush so it turned her hair blue or gave her a solid punch in the shoulder as he walked by she’d slap him.  “I know I should hold off, but… _I can’t help it_.  I even tell myself to stop, and I just _can’t_.  It’s like I go mental when she’s around.”

“Sounds like me when I met your mum,” James’ father laughed.  “You’ll figure it out.  But perhaps try not asking her out _every_ time you see her.  If you feel must ask her something there’s an unlimited amount of questions you could come up with: favorite food, favorite color, favorite animal, least favorite subject… you catch my drift.”

“Speaking of animals,” James’ mother added.  “That dog is driving me _mad_.  I just cannot figure out where it’s coming from.”

James’ father nodded and moved to the window to look at where the bark may be coming from.  James followed, realizing with a start that the bark sounded all too familiar.  “Hey, um… I think I’m going to go outside for a bit… see if I can find Edgar or someone to mess around with.”

“Sure, just be back by sunset,” his mom said.  “And don’t try to find that dog… what if it’s vicious?”

James sniggered. “It sounds horribly vicious, an absolute monster. I’ll stay away.”

He shut the door behind him and walked across the yard, looking behind trees and in bushes for his friend.  “Padfoot?  Pads?” he called rather loudly.  He waited a few moments before walking around toward the back of his house.  “Padfoot?”

The large black dog emerged from nowhere, pouncing on James and knocking him into the grass.  “ _Ooof_ … You’ve gotten fatter since June,” James laughed, watching as the dog backed off him and morphed into Sirius.  “What the Hell are you doing?”

“Scrounging for food. I’ve been trying to get your attention since last night,” he admitted.  “Can I crash?”

“Obviously,” said James as Sirius pulled him to his feet.  “You could have just knocked, you know.”

“Well, I was gonna ask if I could crash… _permanently_ ,” Sirius muttered.  “Wanted to run it by you first before- “

“ _Permanently_? What happened? Where’s all your stuff?” asked James, alarmed.

“This is… kind of it,” Sirius admitted, gesturing to a small bag he was carrying and the clothes he had on.

“Merlin’s pants, Pads.  What happened?”

Sirius rolled his eyes.  “Mum went mental after finding a letter from Tottleham.  Didn’t recognize the last name, threw a fit about it.  Screaming nonsense about ‘ _Sullying the blood line,’”_ he mimicked in a high voice.  “I couldn’t stand it anymore; said I was leaving and started packing stuff.  So she said she was throwing me out, then I said I was running away and I just walked out with only half my stuff.  She told me I was not part of the family and if I tried to ‘ _crawl’_ back for forgiveness or any of my things she’d… well, you get the point.”

“Bloody Hell,” James grimaced.  “Where was your dad in all this?  What about Reg?”

“They just stood there.  Dad is the same way he’s just not as crazy, and Reg is all for it as far as I know,” Sirius shrugged.  “Bugger them.  Can I crash?”

“Yeah, mate… of course,” James nodded, clapping Sirius on the back before walking with him towards the house.  “But, I guarantee my mum will go _mental_ when she sees that’s all you’ve got.  They’ll not have a problem with you staying at all, but they’re gonna make you go shopping.”

Sirius groaned, not having thought of this.  “I can just wear your clothes, can’t I?”

“ _I_ don’t care. I mean, they might fit funny because you’re bigger than I am, but I wouldn’t care.  You know my mum, though,” he said rather darkly.

As James expected, Effie Potter was distraught at Sirius’ state of existence.  After they’d reassured him they would have no problems with him staying, that they’d fix up the spare room for him and he could put up whatever magical or Muggle posters he wanted and listen to the radio as often as he liked, she insisted he take a bath while she washed his clothes and told them they would head out for new things the next day.

“Yes, you _could_ wear James’ clothes but he’s so skinny and you’re so muscular,” Effie explained as she examined Sirius’ arms and shoulders. 

“Gee,” James scoffed.  “ _Thanks_ Mum…”

“I don’t mean anything by it,” she replied when James pouted at her.  “Sirius is just a bit bigger than you are and your clothes wouldn’t fit him well.  You deserve your own things, sweetheart, and we can take care of that.”

“I’ve got an uncle who sends me money every birthday, so that’s not- “

“We’ll take care of it,” James’ father insisted.

“No, I can’t let- “

“You can buy your books for school and what-not but we’ll take care of the rest.  I mean it, Sirius.  You’ve been like a brother to James since first year which makes you a son to us,” he explained.  “We can take care of you.”

Sirius swallowed and stared at the floor. James noticed that he had to work to steady his breathing but didn’t feel compelled to point it out.  “Thank you, Mr. Potter… Monty.  I… I appreciate it… more than you know.”

The following day they made a trip to London to do some shopping.  James noticed Sirius looking around frequently, as though he hoped to see someone, but no one noteworthy ever appeared.

“Who’re you looking for?” asked James when they left Diagon Alley.

Sirius shrugged.  “Just seeing who’s about… can we stop at a Muggle shop?  I left half my jeans and Muggle clothes behind,” he explained, looking to James’ parents for permission. 

“Certainly,” said Mrs. Potter.  “James could use some new trousers as well, seeing as how you’ve grown another five inches.”

Down the street from The Leaky Cauldron was a Muggle store called C&A.  Sirius _loved_ Muggle jeans; he hated traditional wizard robes.  The only thing he liked were the cloaks, but they tended to get in the way.  James’ parents had given them enough Muggle money to buy a few things, but left them to shop on their own while they went to visit an acquaintance nearby.  The boys were to meet them when they were done, but they weren’t on any sort of time limit.

Sirius had put his seventh pair of trousers into a cart and had started to push it away when he ran headlong into someone.  He raised his head to apologize, but he smirked at the slender blond holding onto the edge of his cart.

“Wotcher, Black,” Julia grinned, Lily beside her looking incredulous.  “Fancy seeing you here.”

Sirius grinned.  “Yes, _quite_ a surprise.”

“Did you two plan this?” Lily asked, crossing her arms.  “I should have known.  How else could you explain it?  _Why_ are you in a Muggle store shopping for clothes?” she asked Sirius.

“We didn’t _plan_ it, “replied Julia a little sheepishly.  “I told him when I was visiting you and said he should try to make his way over when we came to town since he lives here.  But he never _wrote me back…_ so it wasn’t a _plan_ per say,” she added with a pout.

“I got a bit distracted,” Sirius admitted. 

“Apparently by a need for trousers. Did you steal them all, Julia?” Lily teased. “Is that why you need so many of these?”

Sirius said nothing, just looked at his shoes.  Julia gasped then, her bright blue eyes fixing on Sirius. “You need new clothes because you had to leave home quickly?  You… did you run away?”

Sirius looked at her curiously. “How’d you- “

“You _ran away_?” asked Lily, looking concerned.  “You’re not on the street, are you?”

“No, course not,” Sirius said, looking around for James.  “I’ve been taken in by – “

“I wondered if I should say something, but I didn’t…” Julia interrupted, still staring intently at Sirius.  “I didn’t _want_ it to be true.  You ran away… because your Mum was upset.  She got upset because _I_ wrote to you…” she added, clasping a hand over her mouth.  “This was _my_ fault.  Oh, Black… I’m so- “

“It’s not your fault,” Sirius insisted, cutting her off.  “Yes, I did run away, but this had been coming for a while, believe me.  I’m fine, I’m not living on the streets, it’s okay.”

“Still,” said Julia.  “I didn’t mean- “

“It’s all right, Julia.  Really, I should thank you; I’m better off now.”

“Yes, but are Potter’s parents?” Lily asked with a smirk.  “I gather that’s where you’re staying?”

“Monty and Effie _adore_ me!” Sirius replied indignantly

“Not denying that, but you _and_ Potter under the same roof,” she grimaced, shaking her head.  “Imagine the chaos.”

“Imagine the hormones,” Julia sniggered.

“Imagine who’s hormones?” James’ voice asked from behind them.  

“These two are talking about hormones because theirs are raging out of control for us,” Sirius teased.  Julia scoffed and Lily rolled her eyes.  “You’re denying it?  How else do you think you found us?  You were drawn here by the scent of pure animal magnetism.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Lily snorted.  “If we sniffed out anything it’s the pungent scent of your ego.”

“Hey, watch the pungent comments,” James replied, with a mock frown.  “I pulled Padfoot off the street yesterday morning.  He’d been traveling for days, he can’t help it if he smells like a wet dog.”

“Wet dog, eh?” Sirius laughed, throwing the pair of trousers he was holding into the cart and pushing it into James.  “I suppose if I smell of wet dog I’m in need of a bath. I could use someone to wash my back, eh, Tottleham?”

Lily rolled her eyes again and Julia grinned.  “Not today.  And what is Padfoot?”

“Nickname,” James and Sirius replied in unison. 

“ _Nickname_ ,” Lily mimicked, looking to Julia who rolled her eyes.

“Because of the wet dog smell,” James explained, causing both the girls to laugh and Sirius to punch him in the arm.

They girls stuck around, helping both James and Sirius pick out a few shirts before checking out at the counter.  Afterwards they walked with the boys to where James’ parents were waiting for them, expecting to get on the Knight Bus right then and return home, but when James’ mother saw them she  was ecstatic that “ _her boys_ ” had run into someone they enjoyed seeing and was not shy about showing it.

“I expect this brightened Sirius’ spirits _so much_ ,” she gushed, ruffling Sirius’ hair affectionately.  “You should all have dinner together before heading home.  Our treat.” 

Lily flushed, looking at Julia.  “Oh… we can manage,” she stammered.  “That’s not necessary.  We should- “

“She means that would be _lovely_ ,” Julia interrupted, clasping her hand over Lily’s mouth.  “Sirius and James, we would love to join you for dinner.”

James and Sirius both smiled, the former watching as Lily’s face flushed with color.  She sighed first, then smiled in agreement before following them to a nearby restaurant. 

“This is a pleasant, if unexpected, _date_ ,” mused James, taking out his menu when they reached a restaurant a few streets away.

“It’s _not_ a date,” Lily asserted.

“It’s kind of a date.”

“No, it’s _not_ ,” she laughed.  “This was a… chance encounter.”

“A chance date.”

“For _those two_ ,” Lily murmured, pointing to Julia and Sirius who were talking quietly to each other.

“A double date then,” James insisted, grinning as Lily rolled her eyes and pulled out her own menu.  Once they ordered the conversation turned to school and how each had done on their owls.

“Knew you’d get an O in Potions, Evans,” James laughed when she told him her grades.  “If Slughorn had been the examiner he’d probably have popped the question at the end of the exam.”

Lily shook her head but smiled.  “He’s just a silly old man who likes to feel important.  I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to collect you two into his little club.”

“He worked on me for about a minute,” Sirius admitted.  “But I think he gave up once he realized I was a _Black_ who was sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin.  He muttered something about wanting to have ‘ _the set_ ,’” he added, rolling his eyes. 

“You know, I didn’t realize you had a little brother until _last_ year,” admitted Julia.

“We don’t get along.”

“I assumed as much.”

Sirius shrugged.  “Doesn’t matter.  Prongs and I both scrapped an O so we’re fine.  I wonder about Moony…”

“I’m sure he did fine,” James shrugged, watching Julia and Lily try to work out who they were referring too.  They knew Sirius’ nickname, but confused the other two often.  “Wormtail, though… I expect he’ll be sitting this one out.  If not, we can pull him through.”

“What about you, Potter?  Slughorn ever try to ‘ _collect_ ’ you?  He must know about your parents,” Lily murmured slyly, looking over her shoulder.  “I mean… _Sleekeazy’s_ was enormously successful.”

James tipped his head. He kept the source of his family’s fortunes mostly to himself because his parents had sold the business just after he was born and it wasn’t something he felt like bragging about.  Sirius and his other mates were the only ones who really knew about it besides some of the professors.  “How’d _you_ know about that?” he asked. 

“I have no friends at home, I can’t use magic, and I have three books on different developments in the wizarding world.  I _read_ all summer,” she explained.  “I saw the name ‘Potter’ pop up when they talked about _Sleekeazy’s_ and got curious, so I did some digging and put two and two together,” she smirked.

James shrugged.  “Well, I mean he knows who my _dad_ is because of that, but I don’t think he felt any particular draw to me.  Especially since my parents sold the company,” James admitted.  “He may have been mildly interested, but then _you_ showed up,” he teased.

Lily blushed.  “He’s fascinated that I’m Muggle-born,” she shrugged.  “He asked me all about televisions once when I stayed after a lesson.  Wondered if I’d gotten brewing advice from that somehow,” she muttered with an eye roll.

“ _Speaking_ of televisions,” Sirius interjected, laughing.  “I still can’t believe your dad has one.  It’s mental.  I can’t wait to see how it works.”

“He loves that thing,” laughed James.  “Fascinated with all the Muggle programming. Some of it’s not bad.  We watched some show about a wizard who travels through time and does all kinds of stuff.”

“ _Wizard_ who travels through time?” Julia asked curiously.

“You’ve got a telly, right?” asked James

“Yes, my dad’s a Muggle so we have one.  It doesn’t work when my mum does magic, though.  But I don’t know about any shows where a _wizard_ travels through time,” she said skeptically.

“The bloke has this long scarf, all sorts of colors – “

“You’re talking about _Doctor Who_ ,” Lily laughed loudly.  “You’ve been watching _Doctor Who_.  That’s brilliant.”

“That was it!” James said excitedly.  “It wasn’t bad.  Pretty clever I thought.”

“It’s very popular with Muggles,” Lily explained. “My dad loved it.  I used to watch it with him when I was home in the summer,” she added with a small smile before falling quiet.

Sirius looked around, confused when everyone else stopped talking.  “ _Used_ to watch it?”

James kicked him under the table.  Sirius yelped and gave him a dirty look.  Lily took a deep breath.  “Yes, used too.  He died last August just before I came back to school.”

“Oh,” Sirius sputtered.  “Sorry, Evans… had no idea.”

“Only a few people at school know: Julia, obviously, and Mary.  Alice knows too, but only because she’s a prefect.  Obviously, McGonagall and Dumbledore know…”

“Moo- er… Remus?  Does he know?” asked James.

Lily shook her head.  “No, he doesn’t.”

“He was on prefect duty with you all that time and you two _never_ talked?” James questioned.

Lily shrugged. “We _talked_ , but it never came up. I don’t… I don’t know _how_ to talk about it to be honest.  I miss him, but I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore?  It’s … strange.”

“Kind of like being _relieved_ to be kicked out of your home?” asked Julia, looking at Sirius. 

Sirius grimaced, poking at his food with his fork.  “Not exactly,” Lily mused.  “It’s different because he’s _gone_.  Sirius’ parents are still here, and he chose to leave. You ran away, or you _had_ to run away? Because…”

“Because they’re idiots,” Sirius explained when she trailed off. “They’re idiots with the whole blood purity rubbish and all that.  On and on about Muggle-borns and Muggles and how dirty they are… it’s sickening.”

Lily frowned. Sirius looked at her and shook his head.  “I’m not like that, you _know_ that Evans,” he told her.  “I hate the way they think.  It’s disgusting.”

“You don’t need to explain,” she replied, staring back at him.  “It’s not the same type of grief… but I know what it’s like to have family reject you,” she muttered, thinking of Petunia.  “I can empathize there.  And I’m sorry if I was callous earlier about you staying with Potter. I’m glad you have somewhere to go.”

Sirius nodded, smiling gently.  “You weren’t. We’re cool.”

The table fell quiet as Sirius and Lily resumed eating.  Julia, however, began staring at Lily with a conflicted expression. 

Lily looked up after a few moments, still chewing her food.  She swallowed uncomfortably.  “What?  _Why_ are you giving me that look?” she asked.

Julia sighed heavily.  “I’m going to tell them.”

“Tell them what?”

“You’re _still_ thinking about it.  Even after we talked, you’re _still_ \- “

“Are you a mind-reader now?  I’m not thinking about anything,” she replied defensively.

“Yes, you are.  _Someone_ needs to squash this idea of yours- “

“Hang on, I _am_ thinking about something,” growled Lily.  “I’m thinking about slamming your face into that spaghetti if you don’t shut up.”

Sirius snorted.  James was amused.  “What is she on about?  What _are_ you thinking, Evans?” he asked, smirking.

“Nothing! I’m not- “

“She’s thinking about _not_ coming back to Hogwarts,” Julia blurted out.

“I’m thinking about _murdering_ you in your sleep,” Lily growled.

There was a beat of silence.  Then Sirius burst out laughing. 

“ _What_?” he said through a mouthful of food.  “That’s mental. You’re not thinking that.”

James, however, sat straight up in his chair, his expression completely and uncharacteristically serious.  “What do you mean you’re thinking about not coming back?”

“I’m… I’m not…” Lily stammered.  “I only thought- “

Julia put down her fork and looked at James.  “She’s scared- “

“ _I’m not scared_!”

“-of everything that’s going on.  The stupid registration proposals and she’s worried the war is getting too big and it’s spilling over.  She worries she’s not making the right choice since ‘ _everyone’_ hates Muggle-borns.”

Julia always had a knack for ferreting out what people were thinking and feeling, which was great sometimes and terrible at others.  Lily frowned at her.  “It’s not like that; you make me sound a coward.”

“No one thinks you’re a coward,” Julia replied.

“I will if you don’t come back to school,” Sirius said harshly.  “You’re a witch! What are you going to do? You can’t just pretend you aren’t a witch.  How are you going to live?”

“He means how are you going to live now that you _know_ what you are?” James interrupted.  “You can’t just… walk away from this, Evans.  Not everyone hates Muggle-borns… not anyone who matters anyway.  Think about how much everyone would miss you – people love you, Evans.  You can’t just-.”

“Can the three of you stop for a second and see where I’m coming from?” asked Lily defensively.  “I _realize_ I’m a witch.  I don’t want to just… _squash_ it out of myself and turn into a squib or something.  I _know_ I can’t just pretend I’m a… normal Muggle.  But… you don’t know what it’s like,” she tried to explain. 

“It’s not just the name calling or the registration stuff that bothers me.  It’s Slughorn being so… _shocked_ that I can do potions since I’m a Muggle-born, and always saying he ‘ _can’t believe it’_ and ‘ _surely you have magic somewhere in your family tree_.’”  It’s everyone reassuring me I’ll do fine on my OWL’s and how it’s not that different than Muggle tests – even though they’ve _never_ taken a Muggle test in their life!  It’s still liking the telly and wanting to see Muggle films when mostly everyone around me thinks it’s rubbish.  There are a lot of times I don’t feel like… I belong.”

She stuck her fork in her pasta and sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. James frowned and glanced at Julia, who had a sad look on her face.  Sirius just looked dumbfounded that he was hearing this, then suddenly sat up very straight, his eyes fixed just above Lily’s head as someone came up behind them.

James grimaced and gripped the edge of his seat.  His mother and father pulled up chairs and sat down on either side of Lily. He didn’t know if they were going to lecture her, or what; all he could do was pray to any deity who would listen that they didn’t say something embarrassing.

“You know, Ms. Evans, you’re right about a lot of that,” his father said.  “It’s not the obvious prejudices that do the most harm.  You don’t have an owl so you can’t communicate, you can’t connect to the Floo network because of restrictions on Muggle houses, you’re not allowed a broom outside of Hogwarts until you’re seventeen… and don’t get me _started_ on the Misuse of Magic letters they send out,” he grumbled.

Lily flushed.  “I’ve gotten _three_ of those.  And I never use my wand outside of school.  It just… happens and-“

James’ father chuckled and his mother just shook her head.  “You’re still young; you can’t always control it,” she said kindly.

“But never mind them,” James’ father went on. “I know Lockshield in the Improper Use of Magic office.  He even thinks it’s a bit much to threaten expulsion and taking your wand for a bit of small magic, especially when children in magical homes can get away with it and no one knows.”

Lily looked shocked.  “They _don’t_?”

Mrs. Potter shook her head.  “With the trace, the Ministry can tell magic was done, but can’t always tell _who_ did it.  If magic is done in a Muggle-born home, its _always_ traced to the young witch or wizard… where as in a wizard home it could be the parents _or_ the children.”

“It’s a load of bollocks,” James’ dad grumbled. “If you get another letter, send it to me and I’ll take care of it.  I can’t imagine you were doing anything on purpose or _hexing_ someone.”

Lily’s eyes darted downward away from his dad’s.  She looked sheepish, but nodded in agreement.  James made a mental note to ask her who she hexed sometime. 

The waiter came with the check and Mr. Potter just shook his head when the girls protested, pulling out a wad of Muggle money from his pocket to pay the tab. When they walked outside, Mrs. Potter took Lily by the shoulders gently. 

“My best friend was a Muggle-born,” she said.  “We were adults, granted, but I remember how she felt when all the Grindlewald nonsense was happening, and that wasn’t even in this country.  I can only imagine how you feel.  Please know you belong here.  You belong at Hogwarts, and from everything Jamesy has told me it sounds as though they are lucky to have you.”

“ _See_ ,” said Julia from behind Lily.  “Besides, like I said earlier, you _love_ magic.  You can’t leave, Lily.”

“I’m not… Of _course_ , I’m coming back to school,” she said, a little embarrassed by all the attention.  “I was only… sometimes I think about how I didn’t choose this, and… it’s hard.” 

“Well, the best things are never easy, unfortunately,” Mrs. Potter admitted.  “But, I do hope you mean that.  And I don’t say this just because James has talked about you all sum- “

“ _Muuummm_ ,” James groaned, his face reddening under his glasses.  Sirius began to laugh again, it sounded more like a bark.

“He’s so sweet and modest about it,” Mrs. Potter added, looking at James fondly.

“Yes,” Lily laughed, relishing in James’ red-faced grimace in her direction.  “Yes, he’s so very modest.”

The Potters offered to drive the girls home rather than force them to take the Knight Bus again, which they were grateful for.  When they got home, Lily spent the entire evening and next morning teasing Julia about the incredibly awkward hug Sirius had given her when they departed.

“I don’t know _what_ I was thinking,” she admitted.  “Snogging him like that.  It can’t go anywhere.”

“That’s not true necessarily,” replied Lily.  “It can… you just- “

“Aside from that of which we do not speak,” Julia interrupted, “It’s Black.  It’s _Sirius Black_.  It’s Black who’s snogged half the girls in our house and countless other birds I don’t even know about.  I’m just another notch in his four-poster.”

Lily shrugged.  “I wonder how much of that’s actually true.  People like to exaggerate rumors, and Black is the type to just feed into it.  We both know how rumors can run wild; remember the one about you and Diggory?”

Julia laughed.  “Yes, I still like that one.  It comes up every so often when there’s some mention of him in the paper.”

“What do you say?”

“I say he was a good snog.  Which isn’t a lie; the rumor isn’t that I _kissed_ him. The rumor is somehow he managed to shag me _ON_ the Quidditch ring.  Which is physically impossible, not to mention the fact that Diggory was not _nearly_ as adventurous as he liked everyone to believe.”

“Does he ever write you?” asked Lily curiously.

“He wrote once, just after he left school.  But that was it,” she shrugged.  “Speaking of writing, you need to get an owl.”

“I know… they’re expensive,” frowned Lily.  “It’s just mum here. There’s no one else and she only has that secretary job.  I can’t ask- “

“I know, I know,” Julia frowned.  “But you’ll need one eventually.”

“Yes, eventually… but for now I can make do with the school owls, or in a pinch the ones in Diagon Alley when I get up there,” she muttered, trying to smile encouragingly at Julia’s concerned expression.

Julia stayed another day before leaving, and when she did the house was noticeably quieter.  It was Saturday and Petunia would be coming for dinner, though Lily didn’t find this terribly exciting.  Petunia did nothing but gush about her boyfriend.  Whenever their mother tried to get her to acknowledge Lily, Petunia’s face would screw up and her whole demeanor would change.  It made Lily sad, but she kept trying to mend the distance between them.

This Saturday would prove to be no different.  Petunia had come over early to help her mother make dinner and spend some “quality time” with them.  Though she’d instantly begun detailing her and Vernon’s last date as soon as she arrived.  Lily retreated upstairs to her bedroom.   She didn’t want to hear about Petunia’s boyfriend anymore.  It was all she talked about.  Never her job, nor her friends.  Just this _boy_.

Lily hoped fervently that she’d never feel like that about anyone.  Boys had been on her mind much more than she liked as of late.  And she’d been thinking about James Potter _much_ more than she wanted too.  From the end of the year, to their random encounter a few days earlier, he’d been nothing but amusing and kind to her.  He’d been polite, reassuring, interesting, and _interested_ in her. 

It had been nicer than she wanted to admit.  And this niceness was ruining her opinion that he was nothing but an egotistical, bullying toerag she wanted nothing to do with.  She’d begun second-guessing herself, wondering if there was much more to him – or any of those boys – than they liked to let on.

“ _AHHHH_!” Petunia shrieked from down stairs.  Lily sat straight up in her bed.  “What on Earth? These- “

“ _Lily_!” Her mother shouted, sounding torn between confusion and amusement.  “Um… _Lily_?!  I think- “

“- _beasts_ doing here _?_ ”

“ _LILY_!”

“I’m coming!” she shouted, opening the door and running down the hall.   

Lily stopped short when she walked into the kitchen.  Around fifteen of owls were outside her window.  When she walked toward it, two or three of them tried to fly into the house.  They screeched and pecked at each other, fighting over who would deliver their letters first.  Some were carrying small notes tied around their ankles, others had full sized envelopes. 

“What?  Where are you- “

“ _This is all your fault_!” Petunia screeched.  “These _filthy_ beasts- _Don’t_ let them in the _kitchen_!”

“Petunia, that’s _enough_ ,” Lily’s mother said firmly, trying hard not to sound amused.  “Better see what they want.”

Lily nodded, allowing the most eager of the owls to hop onto her forearm and proudly present its leg for delivery.  She took it outside and set it off as the other owls swooped in around her and offered their legs or dropped envelopes at her feet. When she came back inside, Lily had owl feathers in her hair and was carrying three envelopes, one larger package, and a handful of shorter notes back inside the house. 

“You’d better look at all those soon,” advised her mum, looking at a few owls who were waiting by the window.  “It looks like some of them are waiting for you to- “

“Can’t you make those _filthy_ things leave?” Petunia snarled.  “Honestly, I’m home for one day and I- “

“Petunia,” her mother interrupted.

“-Can’t even have a _normal_ day when you’re here- “

“ _Petunia_ ,” Rose said sharply.

Lily sputtered angrily.  “I can’t help it!  I had no idea this was- “

“-so glad I left home. If Mum and Dad hadn’t put up with your _nonsense_ maybe- “

“ _PETUNIA_!  That’s _enough_!” Lily’s mother shouted, rising from her chair.

Lily took a step back and Petunia quelled under her mother’s glare.  Rose Evans heaved a sigh and folded her arms over her chest. 

“Whatever feelings you have – jealousy, anger, whatever they are - _none_ of this is Lily’s fault.  She didn’t plan in secret to become a witch, it just _happened_. You have no reason to treat her so disrespectfully.  I’ll not put up with it. If you’re going to be here, you’re going to show her respect.”

Petunia stood up a little taller.  “She has no resp- “

“She’s done _nothing_ but listen to you gab on and on about Vernon.  She’s listened and been nothing but pleasant to you every Saturday, and you haven’t even asked how she is or what’s going on in her world.  You may not live here, but she is still your sister, and you are being incredibly selfish.”

Petunia’s face betrayed a moment of guilt, then she masked it with a haughty glare in Lily’s direction.  “Better answer your letters,” she hissed.  “It appears someone has important news for you.”

She turned sharply and went back into the kitchen, slamming silverware and dishes around loudly as she washed.  Lily sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand before sitting down and dropping the crumpled notes on the table. 

“Do you need a pen, Lils?” asked her mother, drawing her attention back to the task at hand.

“Not yet, but I’m sure I will,” she explained, unrolling the first piece of paper to read. 

“ _Evans!_   _I heard a rumor you’re not coming back to Hogwarts?  That is insane!  Don’t leave me alone in Slughorn’s club. You’re the only person in there worth talking too.  I hope I see you on September 1 st_

_– Max Linghold_ ”

“ _Lily you can’t leave Hogwarts, this is mental. I know we’re not in the same house but you’re one of my best friends. Please come back. Here’s my phone number if you need to talk._

_– Sam Pitchfield_ ”

“ _Lily, first off, I cannot **believe** you met up with James Potter.  I’ve always said you should take a longer look at him.  Secondly, not coming back to Hogwarts?  Mental.  Absolutely mental.  But without the teasing, please come back.  I can’t make it through potions without you. _

_– Mary”_

Lily sighed.  “That lunatic.  I’m going to _kill_ Julia,” she muttered.  Though after a few more notes she realized it wasn’t _just_ Julia who was to blame.

“ _Lily, James wrote to me and said he’d run into you and you were thinking of not coming back to Hogwarts?  Please, don’t do this to me.  We were both unsure about this whole prefect thing and I don’t think I can do it without you.  Please come back – my owl is going to stay if you’d like to write me back._

_– Remus_ ”

“ _Evans, I got a note from James Potter – you know him – that you were thinking of not coming back to school?  Who’s he going to chase after now?  Aside from that, can you imagine Mary or Julia as a prefect for Gryffindor?  You need to come back – our house needs you._

_– Peter Pettigrew_ ”

“ _Lily, I realize I’m not your parent but I am your friend and as Head Girl I **STRONGLY** object to you even thinking of leaving school.  It would be devastating to lose someone like you.  I know things have been hard – please don’t hesitate to write back if you need something. I’ll see you September 1 st.  _

_– Alice Fawley”_

_“Lily Evans!  Not coming back to Hogwarts is insane.  I’ll come to your home and drag you back myself.  Don’t think I won’t.  Please come back, I would miss our little talks in the common room._

_– Love Marlene”_

James and Julia had written to all half her house and all her friends outside it, and they had all taken time to write and tell her how much they wanted her back.  As annoyed as she was with the both of them, Lily felt warmth settle in her chest. 

But they hadn’t stopped with her friends, they’d written to others as well.  Lily put down the handful of notes and reached for the biggest envelope first.

“ _Ms. Evans,_

_I write to you after hearing from James Potter that you were considering not returning to school this fall.  I must say, I would be distraught to not have you in my class. You are one of the brightest witches I’ve ever encountered… a natural at potions and at so many other subjects.  You absolutely must come back.  I have so much more to teach you and I would miss our little conversations._

_I realize I am not your head of house, but if you feel in need please know that you can come to me.  I expect great things to come from you, Lily.  In fact, I’m including a copy of this month’s **Practical Potioneer** for you to look over.  There’s a brilliant article in there on the effectiveness of dittany essence vs. straight consumption of the plant, another one on uses for Euphoria (which we’ll be working on this year), and another article from my former student Damocles Belby.  He’s been writing a weekly column, I can see you doing such a thing later in your life. _

_I will plan to see you in class, Ms. Evans.  No objections.  You are desperately needed in our world._

_Yours,_

_Professor H.E.F Slughorn”_  

She wasn’t surprised they wrote to some of her professors, but she was surprised at the size of the letter’s she got back.  She opened two more of the larger envelopes and read through them.

“… _It is_ _absolutely insane for you to be considering this, Ms. Evans.  I understand you have had a rough year, but that is no reason to abandon your education.  You did exceptional on your Transfiguration exam and I have much more I teach you.  Many of us here are expecting great things from you and our world would be lacking an essential piece if you were not in it.  I will plan on seeing you on September 1_ st at the feast, no exceptions.  
  
Prof. Minerva McGonagall”

_“Lily, you received an outstanding on your Charms OWL, it’s imperative you come back.  You are naturally gifted in this area where many people struggle with it.  You must return for more instruction, I insist upon it._

_Professor Filius Flitwick”_

When Lily picked up the third envelope, she realized it was a card from Mr. and Mrs. Potter and  it wasn’t even addressed to her.

“Uh, Mum?  This one’s for you,” said Lily, handing her bewildered mother the envelope.

“For _me_?” she asked, sliding her finger along the edge and opening the card.  She looked confused at first, then rather pleased.  She folded the envelope back up and put it in her pocket.  Lily just stared. Petunia also looked in from the kitchen, curious as to what was going on. 

“What was it?” asked Lily curiously.

“I’ve been invited to dinner,” her mum explained with a smile.  “Your friend James’ parents have invited me to dinner.”

“Oh,” said Lily, blinking.  “That’s nice.”

“When?” asked Petunia curiously. “ _Why_?”

“Tomorrow evening in London.  When they brought you home at the end of the school year, I did mention I so rarely get to meet anyone you go to school with.  They thought it would be good to introduce me to some other parents,” she mused with a smile.  “You’ll be okay by yourself, Lils?”

Lily nodded, feeling incredibly curious. “Yes, I’ll be fine, no problem.” She wondered if James would be with his parents, and who exactly her mother would be meeting. 

The following afternoon, Lily bid her mother farewell as she left for dinner with the Potter’s.  She had the house to herself, and planned for an afternoon of lounging and television watching.  She wanted to soak up the sensation of being totally alone, something she was rarely afforded at Hogwarts.  But after an hour of this, she became bored and in need of a distraction.  Since magic wasn’t an option, she’d have to find something else to do.

She’d been thinking of Hogwarts anyway so that was where Lily’s mind began to wonder. Julia was right, she loved magic.  She loved the complexity of it, the focus it required, the new and fascinating skills she was constantly learning.  She loved the people and their quirky behaviors.  But there were things about her Muggle life she loved too.

She wondered if after graduating she’d still see films, or visit restaurants on a whim.  Would she be able to listen to the radio, or would people consider her weird for liking Muggle music?  For so long she had focused so much on what she was gaining as a witch that she never thought about what she was giving up.

There were so many things about her life that she never shared with anyone at school simply because she didn’t know how they’d respond. Just before her first year, she’d brought Severus over and showed him her violin.  Lily had taken lessons since she was 5 years old and she’d been rather good at it.  It was something she was proud of, but Severus had not been impressed.  She’d be able to do _magic_ soon; why would she want some silly string instrument?  She could _charm_ the violin to play itself if she liked the music. 

Lily had put it away and never brought it out for him again.  In the summers during her first few years at school, she’d picked it up and played a few songs, and had even gone to a few lessons when she could, but it was hard to stick with.  She had never brought it with her to school because what would her roommates think?  Eventually, she’d just given it up. 

_It’s normal to grow out of things_ , she’d told herself.  But, when she thought about it, if she had never been told about being a witch and received her letter, she would have kept up with her violin.  There were things she wanted to keep up with: seeing films, listening to the radio, playing music…

Feeling bored, she dug the instrument out of her closet and spent an hour tuning it until it sounded normal.  She propped an old piece of sheet music from a festival up on her dresser and stood in her bedroom, playing as loudly as she could, surprised at how quickly her fingers remembered the movements.  She relished the sound of the instrument, reveling in how _normal_ it made her feel.  There was measurement, control, and pace, and something beautiful that came at the end of all that work.

Perhaps _this_ was why she liked potions so much.

Her thoughts and music were interrupted by an unexpected knock at the front door.  It was only then that she realized the window was open.  She wondered if one of the neighbors heard, or perhaps they’d seen the flock of owls the day before and had questions.  She steeled herself for either option as she walked into the sitting room and opened the door.

Before her was a tall wizard with a long white beard and hair to match. He smiled at her over half-moon spectacles.  “Good evening, Ms. Evans.”

“Professor Dumbledore?” asked Lily incredulously.  “I… it’s… would you like to come in?”

“I would be delighted,” Dumbledore smiled.  He seemed taller in her living room, or maybe she felt smaller in his presence.  “I hope I am not disturbing you.”

“No, not at all,” Lily reassured him.  “I … just wasn’t expecting company.  My Mum is out so it’s just me.”

“I see.  Well, luckily, you are the person I wanted to see,” he explained, pulling a large bottle of honey colored liquid from his robes.  “Would you care to have a drink with me?  I’d rather enjoy talking about the beautiful music I heard coming from your window just now.  I must admit, I stopped to listen for a few moments knocking.”

Lily smiled nervously.  “Oh… yes… I was bored earlier and thought I’d get out my violin and see – “

“-That was _you_ playing?” asked Dumbledore, not entirely surprised, as he sat down at Lily’s table and gestured for her to do the same.  “It was wonderful; I do enjoy the violin.  How long have you played?”

“6 years before I left for Hogwarts,” said Lily, sitting down.  “I… haven’t kept up with it since I began school.”

“Understandable.  Studies _can_ take up quite a bit of your time,” he agreed thoughtfully.  “Though you’ve kept up very well.  Four O’s, Four E’s… your marks were some of the top in your class.”

“Yes, I was very pleased.  It means I can keep up with all the subjects I enjoy.”

Dumbledore nodded.  “Do you not enjoy the violin?”

“No, I do… I just…” Lily muttered.  “It… never seemed to fit in with anything.”

“Fitting in seems to be a concern of yours lately, am I correct?”

Lily grimaced.  “James Potter and Julia wrote to you, didn’t they?”

“Well, I _did_ receive a letter from Mr. Potter and a second from Ms. Tottleham, but before I had a chance to read either of them, I received a visit from a _very_ distraught Professor McGonagall, followed closely by visits from Professors Slughorn and Flitwick,” Dumbledore admitted. 

Lily winced, embarrassed.  Dumbledore seemed to pick up on this and changed tactics.  “Before we go any further, I should add that if you do not feel that you are in the right environment for your magical education, I could get you information on another school.  I know the Headmaster of _Beauxbatons_ personally and- “

“What?  Another school?” Lily interrupted.  “No! I don’t… Professor, I _love_ Hogwarts.  I love it.  It’s not the school…it’s _me_ … and I just worry… Well, I’ve started to wonder if… perhaps...”

“…You don’t belong?”

“Perhaps that’s it,” Lily admitted sheepishly.

Dumbledore nodded.  “Lily, you’re not the first Muggle-born who’s had questions about whether or not they belong, and you certainly won’t be the last.”

“Has it always been that way?”

Dumbledore considered this.  “I won’t lie, our current environment is much more… unstable and unknown now than it has been at other times,” he admitted.  “But Muggle-borns have always questioned themselves to an extent as long as I can remember, though most of our kind welcomes them without question.  Wizarding kind still _needs_ the Muggle world.  We’ve married Muggles for centuries, some of us work alongside them…  And because of this, yes, you very much belong in our world.”

Lily nodded, taking a sip of the butterbeer in front of her and chewing her lip.  Dumbledore’s blue eyes fixed on hers.  They were so piercing, like he could read her mind or pull thoughts right out of her head.

“Professor McGonagall,” Lily began, the words tumbling out.  “When she came to tell me about Hogwarts, she told me it was a choice to come to school and use magic.  But is it?  Did I _really_ have a choice? And if it _is_ a choice…with everything that’s going on… I wonder if I’m making the right decision.”

Dumbledore nodded.  “Go on…”

“My mum... my sister has moved out, my father is gone, I’m all she has.  She was sick a few years ago, just like my dad.  I mean, she’s better now… _for_ now.  But, perhaps I should be here where I’m needed instead of …off somewhere… where…”

“-Where there is a war brewing and it feels like you and others like you are the cause?”

“Yes,” Lily agreed. “That’s…yes.”

Dumbledore smiled gently.  “To start with your first question, did you have a choice?  The short answer is, yes… you always have a choice.”

“What’s the long answer?”

“When you were sorted, did the Hat say anything about Ravenclaw?” Dumbledore asked with a smile.

Lily shook her head.  “No, it only said, ‘ _there’s intelligence in here, but so much_ _courage_ ’ and then shouted Gryffindor.”

Dumbledore nodded.  “You have the nature of a Ravenclaw; especially when you’re searching for answers.  The long answer is, as I’m guessing you’ve surmised, not as simple.  It’s never simple. 

“Did you have a choice to deny what is inside you?  To ignore and suppress the magical ability that will burst out whether you want it to or not?”

Lily waited.  Dumbledore’s expression shifted; his eyes darkened and shoulders dropped a fraction.  He was still looking at Lily, but he was also looking past her… Like he was staring at something very far away.

“No… in that, I’m afraid you did _not_ have a choice,” he sighed a moment later.  “Your name was written down in the _Book of Acceptance_ the moment you showed any sort of magical strength.  If you had you not acknowledged the magic inside you and tried to suppress it instead…” he paused a moment, staring behind her again, “the results can be devastating.”

Dumbledore let out a great sigh then sat up taller, his demeanor shifting back to the one she was more familiar with.  “This is why schools as Hogwarts were developed: to support young witches and wizards into adulthood, to teach them how to control and channel their magic rather than leaving them to figure it out on their own.”

“ _Can_ they figure it out on their own?”

“Eventually, yes, though not as precise,” he admitted, pushing his half-moon spectacles further up his nose.  The movement randomly reminded Lily of her father.

“To the second part of your question,” Dumbledore continued, “Are you making the right choice?  That depends on what you want.  I’m sure if you spoke to your mother, she would reassure you that she is fine, she is not alone, and she wants you to be happy.  I can tell you that you are not all she has,” he added.  “I’m sure she has friends or neighbors around the community, but I know that she is out for dinner right now with a few people who have decided it’s in their best interests to get to know her.”

“The Potters?”

Dumbledore nodded.  “Yes, Monty and Effie, along with Lyall and Hope Lupin, John and Serena Tottleham, Ramona Pettigrew, and several other families of students in your house.  It’s a rather large group, so you can rest assured that she’s going to have plenty of contacts.”

“Why are they all meeting?” asked Lily.  “This _can’t_ all be about _me_ ,” she continued, abashed. “Please… I didn’t mean to upset anyone or- “

“My dear girl, it’s nothing you have done,” Dumbledore reassured her. “While Mr. Potter’s and Ms. Tottleham’s concern that you would leave Hogwarts might have prompted it, it was actually James’ parents who felt it prudent – given the current environment – to get to know some of their son’s friends’ parents.  Not only because they like knowing who is involved with James, but it enables all of them to better provide for their children, and provide for others.”

Lily nodded. “I gathered from meeting them briefly that the Potter’s enjoy taking care of others.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “The Potter’s adore James, he is their only child after all, but if he tells them there is someone in need… I expect they provide for them just as much as they do for James. Mr. Black is a perfect example of this.”

Lily nodded, chewing her lip while watching Dumbledore finish the glass of mead he had poured out.  She took another sip of her own glass.  “I’m sorry you had to come all this way just to hear me say I’m coming back to Hogwarts.”

“I hadn’t heard you say that until now,” Dumbledore smiled, peering at her over his glasses.  “And now that I have it confirmed, I can say I feel a great deal of relief.  You would have been missed at school, Lily.”

“I’ve realized,” she chuckled.

Dumbledore nodded.  “You know you can visit anytime,” he said gently.  “My door is always open.”

“Thank you, Professor.”

Dumbledore smiled then rose to his feet and Lily followed him to the front door.

“This has been an engaging chat, Ms. Evans.  I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

“I have as well, Professor,” Lily agreed.

“I shall see you in a few weeks,” he added, giving her a nod as he walked out the door.  “Oh, and if I may make a suggestion… bring your violin.  Professor Columba plays and she is always looking for other musical talent in our midst.”

With that, he smiled and walked into the night.  Lily shut the door and leaned against it, shaking her head yet smiling over all that had transpired the last few days.  She wandered down the hall, intent on cleaning her trunk and making room for the new things she’d need during NEWT level classes.


	4. Welcome Back, Potter

**Welcome Back, Potter**

Song stuck in my head: _The Boys are Back in Town - Thin Lizzy_

* * *

 September 1st arrived a few weeks later.  Lily’s mum escorted her to the train station early that morning.  She stood and watched as Lily hooked a bag onto her shoulder and pulled her trunk from the boot of the car.

“So, you’ve got all your clothes and supplies… you’re sure picked up all your text books?” Rose asked.

“Yes, I got them all last week when we were in London,” Lily assured her, adjusting the heavy bag higher on her shoulder.

“I’m still disappointed you didn’t get an owl,” Rose frowned, crossing her arms over her chest.  “I _told_ you to buy one.”

“It’s nothing, Mum.  I’ll … I can use the school owls for another year.  It’s fine.”

“Hmmm…Well, I put some extra money in your trunk.  I know you can’t use it right off, but maybe you can have someone exchange it for you over the Holiday.  If you get the chance, please buy one,” her mother added, pulling her in for a hug.  “Stay safe?”

“I will.”

“Stay out of trouble?”

Lily laughed.  “I always do.”

Her mother kissed her on the forehead then Lily turned and walked towards the station, talking with an inconspicuous man who checked her wand then directed her to Platform 9 3/4.  Once through the barrier, she pushed her trunk into storage on the brilliantly red train then climbed aboard.  Her first thought was to find where Julia was sitting so she could meet up with her after prefect duty, though she realized this wasn’t going to be as easy as it sounded when she got on the train. 

“ _Evans_!” Max Linghold exclaimed, bolting out from his cabin when she walked by.  He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into an awkward hug.  “Knew you wouldn’t skip out,” he said, releasing her and looking a little sheepish.  “I told Potter he was barking when he wrote to me.”

“Right,” she smiled.  Adrien Rollingsfield was peering at her from the bench, and Bertram Aubrey had gotten to his feet behind Max.  She waved shyly at them.  “How’re you Adrien?  Bertram?”

“Good,” said Bertram.  “We were all a little concerned, I’ll admit.  It’s good to see you again, it would be dreadfully dull without you.”

“Yeah, Evans… who’s going to keep Max and Bertram company at Slughorn’s parties?” Adrien laughed.

Lily shook her head, giving max a smile before moving on down the aisle.  She ran into Alice and Marlene a few cabins down.  They both jumped up and embraced her, but then Alice pushed her back and scolded her for thinking about not returning to school.

“Julia was right to smack you over the head for thinking about that,” Alice said.  “I had half a mind to come to your house myself when I got that letter and do the same.”

“You don’t know where I live.”

“I have ways of finding out,” she replied sternly.  “Come on, we have Prefect duty- “

“Well, _you_ have Head Girl duties,” Lily corrected.  “Congrats on that, by the by.”

Alice grinned.  “Well, it will be a lot easier with you on my side.  Lupin is still here, but the Prefects from 5th year will need some work.”

“Who are they?” asked Lily.

“Pauline Lightfield and Leland Hanks,” she explained.  “Leland is all right, Pauline seems a bit of a nitwit.”

“Is she the one who kept on at you about how handsome Frank is?” Lily laughed.

“Yes,” said Alice, rolling her eyes.  “She’ll be okay, but she’s just a twit at times.  She seems to have turned a soft spot for Potter now, though.”

“That’s the last thing he needs,” said Lily darkly.  “Another girl making eyes over him.”

“Would you rather it be _you_ making the eyes?” asked Alice with a sly wink.

Lily scoffed.  “No, thank you.  I’d rather they be gouged out.”

Alice chuckled as she opened the door to where the other Prefects were gathering.  Lily held up short, her eyes flicking to the blonde figure at the front of the room then back to Alice. “That’s not…”

“It is,” said Alice with a frown. 

Corban Yaxley was standing in front of all the prefects, his shoulder hair obscuring his chiseled face and the Head Boy badge gleaming on the front of his green lined robes.  Lily thought a Gryffindor Head Girl and a Slytherin Head Boy was a catastrophe waiting to happen.  _What on Earth was Dumbledore thinking?_ She asked herself.

“I expect he had quite a bit of prodding from Slughorn,” Alice explained, reading Lily’s thoughts through her expression.

Lily pursed her lips, remembering the number of times she’d seen Yaxley smarming up to Slughorn at his little parties.  She’d also seen him and Mulciber laughing over reports of attacks in the Prophet and she’d heard him shout “Mudblood” at students at least once or twice.  Lily made a mental note to not patrol alone this year.

Across from the door sat Remus Lupin, his expression alarmed as Pauline Lightfield chattered on and on beside him.  She was sitting so close to Lupin she was practically in his lap.

“You and Potter probably got up to some trouble over the summer, yeah?” she asked in a probing voice. 

“Er… not really,” said Remus, leaning away.  “I only saw James the last week of August.”

“Where does he live? He must live in a muggle village; he talks all the time about messing around with muggles when he’s home,” she continued.

Remus caught Lily’s gaze, silently pleading for a reprieve from the interrogation he was under.  Lily smirked.  “Oi, Pauline, budge over a bit, give him some space,” she laughed, walking across the cabin and squeezing herself between Pauline and Lupin.  “Congrats on the badge,” she said, flicking it with her fingers.

“Oh, thanks Evans!” Pauline gushed.  “I was shocked when I got the letter, I expected Honora to get it.”

“I think she’s got quite enough going on with all the classes she’s in,” Lily replied, steering Pauline onto a completely different topic.  She stole a quick glance at Lupin, who mouthed “ _Thank you_ ” before turning to ask how Leland Hanks was doing.

Prefect expectations were largely the same as they had been when Lily and Remus were chosen the year prior:  weekly patrols, monitoring the common room for banned items and bad behavior, setting an example for the remaining student body.  Yaxley let Alice do most of the talking, preferring to sit back and stroke the stubble on his sharp chin and eye them all suspiciously.

“As always, while you can give and take points from other students, you cannot give or take points away from fellow prefects,” Alice finished.  “Any questions?”

“Will we be doing patrols in pairs or by ourselves?” asked Cora Dunford from Hufflepuff.

“In pairs, again,” Alice explained.  “You’ll mostly be with someone from your house unless there is an event or something.  Then we may combine houses or split up.”

“Unless any of you have objections to that,” Yaxley offered, looking to the Prefects from Slytherin house.  Alice shot him a look.  Lily knew she was big on having the houses work together at times to foster cooperation and comradery.  No one said anything for a few moments.

“I think we all get on fine,” Felicity Flockhart from Ravenclaw said, watching as Max and the other prefects nodded.  “It’s good to be able to get on with anyone.”

Alice nodded in agreement.  “That settles it then.  Unless you have anything else, Corban?” she offered, watching Yaxley shake his head.  “All right, then.  Take a walk to make sure everyone is in a cabin – or at least _around_ a cabin, then you’re free to join your friends.”

Everyone stood and began to filter out of the cabin, Lily following close behind Lupin who Pauline had latched onto again.  “Patrols will be fun, we’ll have to see if we’re scheduled together,” she said, smiling at Remus before adding “I promise I won’t interfere with all the things you and Potter get up to.”

“Er…” Remus stammered, looking incredibly confused.

“How was your summer, Lupin?” Lily interjected.  He paused and fell into step with her, watching as Pauline frowned then ran off to join Leland who had just ducked into a cabin with some of their other friends.

“It was nice,” he shrugged.  “Thanks for that by the by.”

Lily nodded.  “You’d never guess how smart she is by the way she acts.”

“Yes, and now she’s suddenly interested in James… which means I might be seeing more of her,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Alice mentioned that,” said Lily with a laugh.  “I told Alice the last thing Potter needs is another admirer.”

Remus laughed.  “There are a few of them.”

“Maybe you can scare her off for him,” Lily teased.  She thought about all the girls that fawned over Potter and his friends.  Most of them were younger, but Mary at one point had had a crush on James and Julia and Sirius…

“How does he stand it?  How do _any_ of you stand it?” she asked after they walked past a few cabins. “You know, I spent all summer listening to my sister drone on and _on_ about this boyfriend she’s got.  I hope I’m never like that. I’d have to jinx myself, I think.”

“Honestly, James doesn’t like it either.  He plays into it a bit, but you’ll notice he doesn’t usually go for the girls who are giggling and simpering over him,” Remus mused.  “Or, really, any girl other than… well, you.”

Lily flushed.  “That’s not entirely true.  He was with Felicity last year for a while.”

Remus laughed.  “Would you believe that a good majority of that was a rumor she made up?”

Lily considered this. “I would actually.  She likes a bit of drama.”

“So does Julia,” noted Remus.

“Fair, but not in the same way.  Julia doesn’t _spread_ rumors, she lets them spread themselves.”

“What’s the difference?” Remus laughed.

“She hears the rumors, then just lets them exasperate themselves by giggling or not denying them… or, by denying them _too_ strongly,” Lily explained.  “She figures people are going to talk anyway, nothing she says is going to stop them, so she may as well just let them talk.  She does have a laugh over how wild they get but she’s not spreading them, so to speak.”

“James figures the same thing,” said Remus. “They’re going to talk, anyway, so he may as well give them a little something to talk about.”

“Julia usually doesn’t give them the ‘something,’ though.  And she doesn’t thrive off the attention.  Potter seems to covet any attention he can get.”

Remus shrugged.  “He’s a bit of an idiot at times.”

Lily laughed loudly.  “I ought to tell him you said that,” she teased as they approached a cabin door.

“Go ahead,” he grinned.  “It looks like Julia’s in here if you were looking for her.”

“I should have guessed as much,” Lily sighed. 

They opened the cabin door to see Julia laughing as Sirius’ wrestled with a book that was shouting insults at him.

“Shaggy _vagabond_ ,” The book roared in a deep voice.  “Searching for answers in the back before reading the full text!  Have at you!  _Death_!  Death by a _thousand_ papercuts!”

“Oh, I’m _petrified_ ,” Sirius scoffed.  “I could think of much quicker ways to go; papercuts are horribly inefficient.” 

“ _Your research is inefficient_!  Give me the answer to my question or I’ll have your eyes first!”

The book shook horribly in Sirius’ hands, pages flapping and tearing themselves in an effort to attack him.  Sirius rolled his eyes.  “The type of counter-curse you need is dependent on the curse cast.  _Recanto_ or _Finite_ doesn’t work in every case, but it’s usually the first thing you should try.”

“ _Ooooooh_ ,” the book murmured.  “Very good… brighter than you look, I’d say.”

“How can you see what I look like?  You’re a book.”

“I have I’s and _eyes_ – and _don’t you forget it_!”  the book shook violently in Sirius’ hands then slammed shut. 

He chuckled and looked at James. “Where did you find this?”

“In the cellar after we dug around all that old stuff,” James laughed.  “I reckon it’s an old Defense Against the Dark Arts book that’s been left alone a bit too long.”

“Loneliness would explain the surliness of it,” Sirius murmured.  “But why bring it?”

James shrugged.  “I figure It’ll be useful for something.”  He looked up and smiled at Remus and Lily’s entrance.  “How was the Prefect meeting?  Did Yaxley’s head explode from all the power he’s been given?”

“He really didn’t talk that much,” Lily said.  “Only when Alice mentioned houses sharing prefect duty if there was an event or something.”

“Yeah, wanted to know if anyone have any objections to doing patrols together,” Remus added. 

“Did you object?  On the grounds that your morality would be compromised if you had to patrol with Avery?” asked James.

“Or Burke?” Sirius shuddered.  “She’s nastier than she lets on, especially with her father running that stupid shop.”

“What shop?” asked Lily curiously.

“Borgin and Burke’s,” James explained.  “Knockturn Alley?  You’ve never been down there?”  Lily shook her head and James shrugged.  “Nothing down there anyway save for a bunch of evil little gits.  Her father owns a shop. All kinds of weird stuff in there, but they claim they specialize in rare or cursed artifacts.”

She nodded.  “Well, no one objected because we’re all mature enough to handle each other for patrols.  It’s just walking around mostly.”

“Still,” Julia said, peering up from her copy of Practical Palmistry to look at Lily.  “You’re doing patrols in pairs again, right?  They’ve set that rule that no one should wander the halls alone and that applies to you, right?”

“We’ll be paired off again,” Lily confirmed.  “Why?”

“No reason,” Julia said.

Lily gave her a look as she sat down across from her.  “You know, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” Julia reassured her.  “But still.  And it’s not just the Slytherin’s you’ll need watch out for,” she added, with a grin.  “It seems your threatened departure has awoken dormant feelings in a number of young men we go to school with.”

James had been playing absentmindedly with a Snitch, but he snatched it out of the air and flicked his eyes toward Julia.  “What’s this now?”

“Sounds like someone other than you has started fancying, Evans,” said Peter, looking from James to Julia to confirm this theory.

Lily rolled her eyes.  “And when did _this_ rumor get started?”

“It’s not a rumor,” Julia smirked.  “It’s the fact that Bertram Aubrey was in here asking if your meeting was done yet and if I’d tell you he’d gotten an O in Potions so he could help you out of if needed. Then right after that, _Max_ was looking for you and wanted to know if you usually went alone to Hogsmeade.”

James scoffed.  “When was this?” asked James.

“Before you two got in here,” said Peter gesturing to James and Sirius. 

“Probably when we were off telling Snape to shut his greasy yob,” Sirius said to James. 

“Yeah, speaking of which,” James said to Lily, “I’m deferring to Tottle’s opinion that you’d probably better not patrol alone.”

“And I’m deferring to my _own_ opinion that I can take care of myself, thank you very much,” Lily replied.

“I don’t think anyone questions that,” said Julia.  “But I think Snape’s little crush on you- don’t make that face, you know he had one – may have inadvertently steered a lot of the ire of those prats away from you onto other Muggle-borns.  Now…” she trailed off, her face crinkling.

Remus considered her, then looked at Lily. “With Yaxley as Head Boy, I have a feeling they’re going to feel like they’ve been given a pass to be prats.  Even Alice gave that impression.”

Lily scowled at him.  “Not you too,” she muttered.  “I thought we were in this together.”

“We are… and I’m not going to patrol alone and I don’t think you should either,” Remus shrugged.

Lily made a face and crossed her arms.  It was one thing for _her_ to decide she shouldn’t patrol alone; she didn’t like other people telling her what she should or shouldn’t do.  Alice _had_ stressed during the meeting that a prefect’s authority remained the same no matter who was Head Boy and Girl, that they were not assigned any new tasks nor given any more authority than in years before.  Yaxley had rolled his eyes and smirked at the prefects from his house.

Lily frowned.  “ _Fine_ ,” she grumbled, throwing her hands up.  “Fine.  I’ll make sure I don’t patrol alone.”

Julia nodded in approval.  “Good.  Now, back to Linghold- “

“-Max is probably just stuck on those letters from Potter,” said Lily dismissively.  “I help him out in Transfiguration. He was probably just worried about keeping his grades up.”

“He asks for help a lot then?” smirked James.

“He’s _dreadful_ at it,” she admitted.  “I’m surprised he scrapped an E to be honest,”

“ _Or_ ,” Sirius began, grinning a little wolfishly.  “The sneaky prat’s not as bad as he’s letting on and he just wants to talk to you.  Prongs has done that.”

Lily turned to James, her eyebrows arched high.  He glared at Sirius for a second, then turned back to her with a shrug.  “Not in the way Linghold has. I’ve never pretended to be _dim_.  But… I might have… asked for help in Potions as an excuse to get you talking.”

Lily looked aghast.  “Am I _that_ unapproachable?”

“No… well, to me you are… but not to everyone” said James fairly.  When she balked at him he smirked.  “Evans, we hadn’t had a conversation that lasted longer than twenty seconds before last year – or if we did, I was doing all the talking.  You know this.”

“Well… you… I…” she stammered, face red.  “Why would you ask me for help in Potions of all things?”

“Because you’re brilliant at it, and you thought I was conceited and I wanted to show you I didn’t know _everything_ … so I started there,” he shrugged.

“I know you don’t know everything,” Lily replied with a wicked grin.  “You can’t levitate a bag across the room, remember?” 

James frowned and Sirius laughed at the memory.  “I remember,” he grumbled.

“Though, you did try to do it nonverbally and maybe that’s why it fell,” Lily said fairly, pulling out a book from the bag she had on her shoulder.  “Apparently nonverbal magic is required this year,” she explained, gesturing to the new Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook.

“Well, we can stick to our earlier bargain, then” James grinned.  “You can teach me all about levitation spells and I’ll teach you how to fly.”

“I don’t think we ever settled on a bargain,” Lily countered.  “And I am _still_ not sure how your broomstick gets off the ground with your fat head on it.  Which I’m sure is going to get even bigger now that Lightfield is a Prefect and can give you – or _not_ give you – detentions and points.”

Sirius laughed and James scowled.  “She’s a nitwit.  Nice enough yeah, but the _giggling_ …”

Lily grinned.  “What’s the matter, Potter?  One-on-one attention from a pretty girl… you don’t like that?

“Despite what you may believe, Evans… I don’t crave everyone’s attention,” he said haughtily.  “Just yours.”

Lily blushed, pursing her lips while she put the book away.  She pulled out the potions magazine Slughorn had sent her and began flipping through it, ignoring Julia, who was sniggering from beside Sirius. 

“If you _really_ crave her attention, Potter, you’d better figure out how to get it the right way because you’ve got _competition_ …” she said, singing the last word

“From who?” asked James and Lily at the same time.

Just then the door to their compartment opened and Bertram Aubrey peered in, smiling when he saw Lily.  “Hey, Lily… there you are.  Max has been back from prefect duty for ages but you took a long time.”

Lily’s expression was flat.  “We’re supposed to patrol.  I was _patrolling_.”

“Rightly so,” Bertram agreed before changing the subject.  “Tell me how you did on your OWL’s.”

Lily was more than happy to comply with detailing her grades, noting the look of disappointment on Bertram’s face when he learned she, too, had earned an Outstanding in Potions and most likely would not need his help. 

“Course you don’t,” he sputtered.  “But Old Sluggy still has his little gatherings, and we’ll need proper people to talk to in there amidst the Slytherins.”

Lily had to agree with this, but was still happy when Bertram had left.  He’d always been a bit pompous, but his demeanor had seemed very condescending when he spoke to her this time.  Condescending and overly interested.

Max wasn’t any better. He’d stopped in later to ask Lily about her Transfiguration grade and how her summer went.  He also was curious as to why she continued with Care of Magical Creatures and a few other classes.  “I can’t see you doing anything with those outside of school,” he said with a laugh.  “What are you planning for a career anyway?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” she said.  “But I thought about Healing and I figured I’d better learn all I can about animal bites and how to treat them if I was to go into that.”

“That’s a good point,” James added fairly, frowning when Max scowled at him.

“I can see you being a nurse,” Max smiled.

Lily looked up from her magazine sharply.  “I said _Healer_.”

“Most Healers are male,” noted Max, drawing a look from both Lily and Julia.  Peter began to snigger and Sirius sat up, mildly interested in where this was headed.

“Most, not _all_ ,” Lily said coolly.

“Yeah.  Perhaps she’ll change that,” Julia shot back.

“Well, maybe… I’m only saying it’s getting more restrictive, and they only take the best at – “

“Are you implying that Evans isn’t the _best_?” asked James, dramatically appalled.

“ _No_!  Not at- “

“Don’t you have prefect duty?” asked Lily in a flat voice.  “We’re about twenty minutes out. You’d better go change and make sure everyone is in their robes.”

Max frowned.  “I didn’t mean anything. I was only … don’t _you_ have duty?  We can walk- “

“It’s my turn, actually,” said Remus.  “She went after the trolley was around.”

Max looked a little disappointed.  “Well, duty calls then.  I’ll catch you later, Lils.”  He pushed the door opened and walked out a little dejectedly.

“ _Prat_ ,” Julia murmured.  “You’ll have to watch out for him, Potter.  _Competition_ …”

Lily scoffed.  “Not from him,” she grumbled.  “He’s nice enough, but he’s a bit behind on the times apparently.”

James smiled at this.  “ _I’m_ not behind on the times.  And I would never compete for you.”

“Above all that, are you?” asked Lily, not looking up from her magazine.

“Of course,” James laughed.  “I’m much more mature than that.”

Lily rolled her eyes.  “I wouldn’t rule out all competition just yet, Potter… you might have to compete against your own ego.”

“I’m growing on you,” he continued, leaning close to her and smiling.

“Like a rash,” she replied, smirking back at him. 

Ten minutes later the train screeched to a halt and everyone gathered cloaks to head into the castle.  Lily moved to the front of the line with the other prefects to direct them to follow Hagrid to the boats, waving and grinning at him when he smiled in her direction.  The other students filed past to fill up the carriages. 

When James and Sirius approached, Remus started laughing as Sirius struggled to change the colors on his robes back to black from bright pink.  “You gits,” he spat at James and Peter.  “You’ll be glad to have pink robes after I put doxy powder all over yours.”

“I’ll be waiting for that,” James laughed.

“Come on,” said Peter as he walked towards one of the carriages.  “The invisible pulling charm won’t wait forever.”

“Invisible pulling charm?” Lily laughed.  “You’re joking?”

Sirius gave her a strange look.  “What else would it be that makes them go other than some charm?”

“The Thestrals,” said Lily.

“The what?” the four of them asked back.

“Is she on about those things again?” asked Julia before she stepped into a carriage.  Mary joined them and rolled her eyes at a defiant looking Lily.

“What’s a Thestral?” asked James.

“ _Oooh_ , something I know that James Potter doesn’t,” Lily smirked.  “I tell you what, Potter, you find out what I’m talking about and I’ll go on that flying lesson with you, all right?”

She laughed before climbing aboard the carriage with Julia and Mary.  James watched it fade into the distance before climbing into one with his roommates.  “Anyone know what she’s talking about?” he asked after everyone clambered inside.  Remus shook his head, Peter looked blank, and Sirius just shrugged.  “Well, looks like I have research to do,” James murmured.

Sirius scoffed. “I told you last year that too much reading makes you dull.”

“Who said I’m going to read about it?” James laughed.  “I’m more resourceful than that.”

* * *

 “Welcome, welcome, to another year at Hogwarts,” Dumbledore gushed from the front of the Great Hall.  “For our new students, we hope that you will find warmth and excitement in classes and in the prospects of new friendships.  For our older students, we delight in your continued enthusiasm for the familiar sites of the halls and classrooms.  Let us hope this new year brings intelligence, teaches integrity, and fosters new relationships for everyone here. 

“You’ll see all the familiar faces of old Professors, and the addition of Gabriel Rincewind, who will be taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.  I ask that you welcome Professor Rincewind as you do the rest of the staff and offer him your best during his class.

“Any students wishing to sign up for their house Quidditch teams should turn in their name to their Heads of House.  Try outs will be held the last week in September.  For the traditional reminders, Mr. Filch, our caretaker has asked me to remind everyone that no magic is permitted in the halls, the forest is forbidden to all students, and there is a _strict_ 10:00PM curfew.

“I realize curfews are a burden to many of us, but this year I will _implore_ you to respect these restrictions.  Our student body is creative and curious, and when these positive qualities combine it can lead to less than positive outcomes.  Therefore, I ask our prefects and our Head Boy and Head Girl to strongly enforce these restrictions, as all teachers will be doing the same.  And I request that our student body afford both the teachers and our student leaders the same respect you give each other.”

Dumbledore’s face was pleasant yet somehow stern as he gazed first towards the Slytherin table, then slowly across the hall to the Gryffindor table.  Sirius sniggered behind his hand while James looked affronted.  “I believe that was aimed at us,” he huffed in mock indignance.

“I believe you’re right, Prongs,” said Peter sagely.

“Looks like it’s time to toe the line, boys,” Sirius lamented, laying his head dramatically against James’ shoulder.  “Our days of being scoundrels are done for.  Long gone are the days of jovial youth now that we have Evans and Lightfield to keep us in line,” he finished.

Julia laughed while Lily just met Sirius’ hang dog expression with a smirk.  “Another thing the four of you don’t know about is self-control,” she murmured.

“ _’Self-control?_ ’” James scoffed.  “Now hang on, I- “

“Lastly, if anyone has an interest in learning a musical instrument, or _playing_ a musical instrument, please see Professor Columba for further instructions.  In fact, I’m feeling a bit musical tonight, so I think… yes, let’s sing the school song it has been quite a while.  Yes, everyone stand up,” he said with a broad smile as students and teachers rose to their feet.  Some were anxious, others resigned, but eventually everyone was up. 

Dumbledore held out his wand to conduct.  “Everyone choose your favorite tune to sing to… and … go!”

A chorus of voices burst out singing the school song.  Though he’d only heard it sung once before, James he knew it by heart.  Many students around him were trying to get it done as fast as possible, a few were singing along lightheartedly, but he and his friends however were giving their best performance of it in the style of a barbershop quartet.  James sang even louder when he realized Lily was laughing at him.

“Excellent,” Dumbledore said when they finished.  “I am constantly forgetting how magical music truly is… we must do that more often.  For now, let us head to bed.  Off you go!”

The benches screeched against the floor as they were pushed back and hundreds of students stood.  James watched Pauline Lightfield and Leland Hanks dart from their seats to the front of the table and call for first years to join them.  “Skived off duty?” he asked Remus.

“Lily actually thought it better to let them do it,” he replied.  “Let them get a sense of authority.”

“But not _too_ much,” she added with a laugh as her and Julia passed and walked toward where Mary was waiting for them.  “Who knows what Lightfield would do with a real taste of power?”

“She might ban you from Quidditch if you reject her too roughly,” Julia teased James.

“Can’t,” Peter replied, grinning up at James.  “He’s Captain.”

“Oh, you made Captain?” asked Lily with a grin. “Well done, Potter.”

“Well done, yes, it’s great of course… but let’s go back to this self-control you accuse me of not having,” said James, jumping over the table to walk beside Lily.  “I have self-control.”

“Not much by the way you vaulted over the table instead of just waiting until reaching the end of it,” Lily laughed.  “And you lack the ability to hold back on hexing someone just because you don’t like their face.”

James narrowed his eyes.  “I don’t hex people just because I don’t like their face.”

“You don’t?  I seem to remember several little incidents where you went after someone simply because they existed.  And you know, jinxing someone when their back is turned is a little cowardly.”

James made an angry noise then sighed.  “All right, Evans… I’ll give you that one.  I’ll make sure I always hex people to their face from now on,” he mused, grinning when Peter laughed.

Lily rolled her eyes.  “Not what I had in mind.”

“Listen, I’ll show you self-control,” James offered.  “I’ll knock off the hexing for the Hell of it.”

“You will?” asked Lily skeptically as they began to climb the stairs.

“Sure, I’ll wait for a reason,” James replied, laughing when she stopped and glared at him.  “ _Kidding_ … kidding.  If I do this… Hogsmeade?”

“We’ll see, Potter,” she said.  One of the staircases moved and they were forced to stand and wait for another one to come by.

James kicked the bannister lightly as he waited. “You’re always… conflicted about it,” he muttered, looking sidelong at Lily.

“I’m not conflicted,” said Lily.  “I said we’ll see and I meant it.  I told you if you found out what a Thestral was- “

“I think you made it up,” he said.  “I’ve never hear of that.”

“Oh, so you know everything?”

“Not everything… but I know a lot.”

“Well, with all your resources and intelligence it shouldn’t take you forever to figure it out,” she mused as they reached the portrait hole.  “ _Occamy_ ,” she said loudly, watching the Fat Lady nod and the portrait swing open.  Lily climbed inside and James followed behind her.

“By the way,” she called, pausing by the staircase.  “In case anyone hasn’t told you yet, the password for the bathroom is Blueberry Bubbles.”

“Is this so I can join you some evening?” James asked with a grin.

“ _No_ ,” Lily shot back, swallowing a laugh. “You’re Quidditch captain, you can use our bathroom now.”

“Oh, right,” said James, watching as she wandered up the steps to the girls’ dormitory.  “I could still join- “

“In your dreams, Potter!”

“In _yours_ , maybe,” he replied, grinning.

“In my nightmares, perhaps,” she called back. 

James grinned and turned to go up to his dormitory, wondering exactly where he’d look to find what a Thestral was. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and reviews I have. I appreciate it more than you know, the energy keeps me going.


	5. Moonlit Walk

**Moonlight Walks**

**Song stuck in my head:  Bad Moon Rising – Creedence Clearwater Revival**

* * *

 

The first week of classes were draining.  There had barely been any “Welcome back, here’s a refresher, let’s get started” days.  Most of the Professors – McGonnagall, Slughorn, and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Gabriel Rincewind -  had jumped immediately into new topics.  Getting used to the new routine left James little time for extra research, or extra time in the evening for flirting with Lily.  Though Sirius seemed to find plenty of time to flirt with Julia.

“You’ve been up before breakfast _every_ _morning_ since the start of the year,” James whispered to him during Charms on Tuesday afternoon.

“Just getting a head start on the day,” mused Sirius.

“Head start on snogging, I expect” said Peter.

“Julia is a _nice_ girl.  She’s asking for transfiguration help.  _I_ am offering to tutor her and she’s very grateful,” Sirius insisted loftily.  “For you to insist that I’m up there snogging her… what kind of rascal do you think I am?”

“I think you fancy a snog and that you’d like to get her kit off if you can,” James replied flatly.  Sirius shrugged and gave him a sly grin.

Across the room Lily and Julia were busy reviewing the banishing charm they’d learned last year.  Unlike their other classes, Flitwick had decided to take the first week and review previously learned charms as all of their new work required complete mastery of the other spells.  They’d started with Banishing because it was the one most people had trouble with, Mary included.

“You need to _push_ with your wand,” advised Lily. “Almost like you’re throwing it.  And _concentrate_ …”

“I can’t concentrate,” said Mary.  “I keep wondering what in the Hell _you_ are doing up before breakfast,” she said to Julia.

“I _told_ you,” Julia sighed.  “Black is helping me out with Transfiguration.  He’s quite good, you know.  I don’t understand a thing McGonagall is talking about.”

“Yes, but why at six in the morning? Why not later?”

“He’ll have Quidditch practice, plus the library is usually empty so-“

“You’re getting off in the _library_?” laughed Lily.  “Oh, Madam Pince will _love_ that when she catches you.  And she _will_ catch you.  I swear that woman can smell when someone even thinks about doing something on her little rule list.”

Julia laughed as she scribbled on a piece of paper.  “I’m _not_ getting off with him, honestly.  He hasn’t even kissed me again.”

“Really,” said Lily.  “That’s a change from what I saw last year.”

Julia shrugged.  “You know I can’t go anywhere with it,” she whispered, finishing her note.

Lily shook her head.  “If you wanted to you could.  What are you writing?”

“A note,” she explained with a grin.  She stuck it to one of the pillows and looked over to where Black was sitting with his friends.  “I _could_ just make this fly across the room, but this is a bit more fun.  _Depulso_!”

She jabbed her wand sharply at the pillow and grinned as it flew across the room and smacked Sirius on the back of the head.  He looked around, offended at first, but when he saw her grinning at him he smiled and pulled the note away from the pillow.

“I can’t get this nonverbal stuff, yet,” Julia added.  “It’s going to take me a while.”

“The charms aren’t hard,” said Lily.  “But I don’t think I’ll be able to do Transfiguration for a while… or whatever Rincewind will be having us do.”

“Right now, that’s all theory,” said Mary.  “But I hope we get into something soon.  That accent of his puts me right to sleep.”

Lily smirked, but it turned into a small yelp when a pillow flew across the room and hit her in the back of the head. Julia laughed, taking the note off the back and reading it first then handing it to Lily.  “Most of this is for you,” she explained.

Lily took the piece of paper, first reading over Sirius’ reply, “ _I’d offer you my broomstick, but you didn’t seem terribly interested_ ,’” Lily read.  “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“It’s open to interpretation, I think,” Julia laughed.  “James finished your little assignment.”

Lily looked back at the note: “ _Thestral:  a rare breed of horse considered dangerous by the Ministry of Magic.  Thestrals are only visible to those who have witnessed death.  The largest Thestral herd in the world is located at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, having been bred and trained by groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid_.’  Well, bully for him… he can use the library.”

“You know, I’m surprised that he didn’t know about them,” said Julia.  “He does seem to know everything at times.” 

“ _No one_ knew about them.  That’s why I thought I was _mental_ , remember?” Lily mumbled.  “They weren’t in any of the textbooks we have; not even in _Fantastic Beasts,_ though everything else in the world – _OOF_!” Lily squeaked when another pillow hit her in the back of the head.  She snatched it away from Julia and looked over her shoulder at James, who was shaking his head at her in an amused manner. 

“ _Evans, I am much more resourceful than to just head straight to the library.  I asked Hagrid what they were,”_ the note said.  “ _The only book I could find on them was in the restricted section_.”

She shook her head, smiling over her shoulder at his expression then resuming her Charms work as Flitwick passed by.  The bell rang and everyone began to gather up their things to head out for the afternoon.

“So, where’s Lupin?” asked Mary as they were walking out.  “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s ill,” said Lily.  “He told me this morning he was going to see Pomfrey; bad stomach ache.  Wanted to know if I could do patrols with Hanks this evening.”

“So, you’ll be gone all evening and I’ll have to put up with _this_ lot,” she muttered, gesturing toward Julia who was walking alongside Black.  She ruffled his hair and mumbled something under her breath.  Black grinned and shoulder checked her before leaning close and whispering something in her ear.  Potter, who had been walking beside them, rolled his eyes and ran to catch up with Pettigrew.   Lily had noticed that Julia and Black had been flirting so rampantly lately that even his friends were annoyed. 

The common room was rowdy when Lily got back from patrols that evening.  Students were throwing a Quaffle back and forth and talking loudly. Pauline was not even trying to rein them in and Alice was nowhere to be seen.

Lily did not have the energy to deal with it.  Leland Hanks, while capable, was overwhelming to be around because he talked non-stop.  When she looked around she saw Julia was buried in a corner talking to Mary about their transfiguration homework, and Lily knew if she headed up _now_ she’d be might be able to catch up on some sleep.

But instead of crawling to her bed, she dug through her trunk and pulled out her violin.  She wondered if Dumbledore had been serious about asking Professor Columba for lessons.  Even though she wasn’t taking Astronomy any longer, she had always had a good relationship with her.  She’d have to stop up to her office during a free period sometime this week. 

Lily started to play a lullaby she had once memorized for a recital.  She stared out the window as she did, admiring the blindingly bright full moon and the light it cast over the grounds of Hogwarts. She felt an overwhelming sense of belonging.

She, Lily, had _chosen_ this: she had been born a witch and she would live as one going forward, pulling parts of her muggle life with her to make her feel complete.  This was her path, and since arriving back in the familiar magical walls of Hogwarts, she started to feel more confidence when she thought about walking it.

Lily continued to play, staring at the ground below her window and watching as two figures raced across the grounds, pausing by a large tree that she could see from her window.  Lily dropped her violin and inhaled sharply when she recognized Potter’s unkempt hair even from this distance.  The other person was surely Black, though he was wearing a cloak and she couldn’t see for sure.  For a fleeting moment she wondered if it _wasn’t_ them, perhaps it was someone else sneaking about.  But her suspicions were confirmed a second later when the blonde head of Pettigrew showed up, trailing behind them as fast as he could.

Dumbledore explicitly warned them at the start of term _not_ to be out on the grounds after sunset and to pay attention to curfew. Everyone could surmise the logic behind the rules: general safety, a sense of order on campus, but also… these were dark times. People were disappearing, even from Hogsmeade. While nothing had happened at Hogwarts specifically (surely because of Dumbledore), Hogsmeade was close enough.  The rules were there for a reason.

Anger spiked in Lily’s chest.  It hadn’t even been two _weeks_ since school started and she and Potter had had that conversation about self-control.  He’d been true to his word, walking away instead of arguing back when someone tried to provoke him in the halls, not jinxing students just for fun.  During class he’d been polite, helpful, cheeky, and at times, surprisingly sweet.  She’d started to warm to him, started to enjoy hanging around him a little.

But seeing him walk across the grounds, blatantly breaking a thousand school rules without any concern for the consequences, she despised him all over again.

Lily threw her violin back into her trunk and stormed down the stairs.  They were only out there because Remus was sick.  He was the only one that ever talked them out of truly ridiculous stunts, though he let them get away with far too much in her opinion.  If he wasn’t up to the task, perhaps _she_ should be.  Gryffindor constantly lost points in the House Cup due to their antics, and for once in her schooling years she’d like to win it.  She raged under her breath and stormed down the stairs, through the main hall, and out the large double doors onto the Hogwarts grounds.  It registered to her as odd that she didn’t see anyone, not even the Hogwarts ghosts, and the main doors weren’t locked.  Filch was usually obsessively compulsive about these things.  What was he up to that he’d neglected something so important?

The full moon bathed the grounds in eerie white light.  It was so bright felt rather like early dusk than almost midnight.  She’d seen the three boys heading toward the lighter part of the forest where the Whomping Willow stood, so she started walking in that direction.

Lily felt anxious.  Dread squirmed into her belly as she walked, replacing the anger she’d been feeling.  Something wasn’t right.  The moon was too bright and there was a strange scent in the air.  She thought about turning back, but these oddities were even _more_ reasons to find Potter and his friends and convince them to come back to the castle.  After all, as angry as she was with him, she didn’t want him hurt by something either.

She’d reached a small hill above the willow and tripped over something on the ground.  Lily reached down and felt a large cloth tangled around her feet. She picked it up, holding it to her nose and breathing in deeply.  _Potter’s cloak_ , she thought, recognizing the woodsy smell. Something inside her felt a little embarrassed that she recognized Potter’s scent /;// m

 so easily. 

_Why would he leave it lying around?_  

It was strange.  Invisibility cloaks were rare at best, and one as nice as this was certainly next to impossible to find.  It seemed careless and strange that he just left it _lying_ there. The cloak on the ground only added to the uneasy feeling in her chest. 

She’d put the cloak back in its place and taken just a few steps forward when it happened.  Tree limbs snapped, the willow swayed slightly in the breeze, and an eerie howl pierced the silence.

Lily’s pulse slowed to a stop.

She’d heard the rumors about werewolves in the Forbidden Forest her first year at Hogwarts, but always assumed they were just that: _rumors_.  Everything she believed about this fact changed dramatically in the next few seconds. 

The skeletal shadow of a wolf appeared on the ground across the field from her.  Matted grey fur, narrow snout, tufted tail... Emaciated and lithely looking, the werewolf’s small, dilated pupils turned their gaze to where she was standing.  The rumors were right, there _were_ werewolves on the Hogwarts grounds, though Lily didn’t hang around long to confirm it.

The howl echoed behind her as she took off in a hard sprint back to the castle.  The grass was slippery under her feet and she kept losing her footing.  She passed Hagrid’s hut and considered running to his door, thinking he, if _anyone_ , would have some way to drive the beast back. But it would also put him in danger and she couldn’t have that. 

The werewolf’s paws were heavy on the ground.  It was too close.  She could hear it snarling behind her.  Lily panted heavily, willing her legs to move faster.  She was almost to the door when she lost her footing and a warm furry body barreled into her.  

Lily screamed and covered her head, curling her knees into her chest.  She waited for paws to hit her, for teeth to sink into her flesh.  She could hear the animal snarling, low growls and snapping jaws, but no attack ever came.

Instead, a new sound joined the fray, one she didn’t recognize. Lily lifted her eyes up just enough to see what was happening. 

An extremely large stag was standing over her like the roof over a house.  In front of the stag were not one, but two animals engaged in a snarling fight.  Lily lifted her head, trying to get a better look at the difference.  One was definitely a werewolf, there was no mistaking it, but the other was just a very large black dog.  Its shaggy fur was shiny with sweat, ears flattened against its head and tail held aloft to aid in attack.  Each time the werewolf lunged, the dog lunged with it, pulling it back as the stag used its antlers to drive it further away from the castle.  They almost seemed to be working together.

The werewolf was relentless.  Its eyes crazed and fixed on Lily as it snarled and dove from side to side, trying to find an opening to attack her from.  It leapt high and the black dog became pinned under the its claws.  The stag drove forward, knocking the wolf backwards into the grass with a solid push from its antlers.  The wolf rose and dove toward Lily again, but the stag turned and gave it a solid kick to the jaw before driving its antlers into the wolf’s chest. 

It finally recoiled, whimpering in pain and drawing back.  At the first sign of retreat, the dog jumped in front of the stag, snarling and barking as they both pushed it further and further away.  Finally, the wolf howled in anguished defeat, turning away and racing, limping, into the forest.  To her surprise, the dog followed, but the stag stayed, panting raspy deep breaths that echoed in the silence around her.  Lily watched it take a few hesitant steps forward, as though it was considering going after the wolf, but then it hung its head and scuffed at the ground.

Lily yelped then, breaking the silence as large grey rat with a small shock of yellow fur between its eyes snuck up from under her arm.  It was shaking in fear, but then it ran towards the stag and paused for a second before running off in the same direction the wolf had gone.  She rose to her feet and walked past the stag, looking around wildly for wherever Potter, Black, and Pettigrew could be.  Lily started to walk back out onto the grounds but the stag made a low noise, almost like a growl, and cantered in front of where she stood. 

“Move,” she muttered, walking around it.  The stag became angry and bellowed at her, lowering its head and pushing her back with its antlers. 

“What- I can’t just go _in_ ,” she hissed.  “Potter and his friends are out here and that _thing_ -“

The stag snorted, using its antlers to push her back toward the castle.  Frustrated and not willing to give up, she grabbed hold of the base of its antlers and pushed back.

“ _Move_ ,” she commanded, looking directly at the stag.  Its hazel eyes stared directly back at her.

Lily’s grip on its antlers slackened when she _really_ took a good look at it.  This was _not_ an ordinary deer.  It was large, almost too large, and its fur was discolored.  There was too much black amidst the tawny, much of it clustered around the stag’s antlers and down its neck.  And its _eyes_ … deep hazel, and bright, and too focused. It looked at her and it was _frustrated_ – human emotion in the eyes of a wild animal.  She remembered Potter’s cloak just… _lying_ on the ground-

“ _P-Potter_?” she squeaked incredulously.  “ _James_?”

The stag snorted, pulling its lip back over its teeth.  It stomped the ground with its hoof and took off running toward the tree where Potter’s discarded invisibility cloak lay.  Lily was as still and silent as the grave, completely bewildered by what she had just realized.  It dawned on her that the wolf could come back at any moment, and she took a few steps forward to try and catch up with James so at least she wasn’t alone.

“This is _not_ the time for a moonlit walk” James’ voice snarled from right next to her, uncharacteristically harsh.  Lily gasped as he lifted his invisibility cloak and stared angrily at her.  “Get under here.”

“What about-“

“I said _GET UNDER HERE_!” he snarled. 

Lily obeyed, still shuddering as he put the cloak over her head and his hand at her back to shunt her forward.

“But…where are we-“

“Common room,” he growled.  “Unless its packed with idiots then we’ll find somewhere else.  Or maybe… I’ll just _drop_ you somewhere and leave.”

“ _You’ll do no such thing_ ,” she shot back.  “What-“

“Evans, just… _shut up_ until we get somewhere,” he snapped.

Lily scrunched her face up, but obeyed.  She looked down at her hands, noting the scratches she had from falling and a large scrape on her forearm.  They didn’t hurt badly, but they needed cleaning that was for certain. She examined her arm with a frown as they walked, trying to ignore the cold fury radiating off James. 

They reached Gryffindor tower in an incredibly short amount of time, like James had known some secret shortcut.  He pulled the cloak off them both and moved through the portrait hole, taking her hand and dragging her with him.  She winced when his rough hands grazed the cuts on her palms, but didn’t make a sound. 

James looked around to be sure the room was completely empty.  He looked nehind all the chairs, under the desks, and he finally peered up each hallway to the boys’ and girls’ dormitories before coming back to where she was.  Lily had moved closer to the fire and was about to sit on one of the couches, but she took a few steps back when he approached, anger evident on his face.

James grabbed hold of her wrists, examining her hands and forearm with a frown.  His demeanor shifted a bit and his voice became soft.  “Are you all right?” he asked, using his t-shirt to brush the excess dirt off her hands and her arm. 

Lily nodded, her voice hoarse when she spoke.  “I’m… I’m fine.”

James held on to her for a quick moment, then his anger returned and he threw her hands away.  “What the _Hell_ were you thinking?” he whisper-yelled.

“What was _I_ thinking?” she hissed, appalled.  “What were _you_ thinking?  What _ARE_ you thinking?  You must be mad-“

“You’re damn lucky I had my wits about me and-“

“ _I’m_ lucky?” she squealed, trying to keep her voice low.  “You … a _werewolf_ , Potter!  That was a _werewolf_! You could have been bitten, you could have-“

“If you think I hadn’t thought of that already you’re _really_ thick,” he spat.  “Why do you think I transfigured-“

“ _Transfigured_?” Lily spat incredulously.  “Trans… do you think I’m an _idiot_?  _You’re an Animagus_!”

James breathed out hard.  He had had a fleeting hope that, perhaps, the shock of seeing a werewolf would scare her enough that he’d able to convince her that he’d just transfigured himself into a stag.  But it was no use.  This was Lily Evans, after all, and she’d always been a bit too bright for her own good. 

“Never mind that, do you realize what could have happened?  They told us to stay off the grounds-“

Lily scoffed.  “You’re one to lecture _me_ about sneaking out at-”

“ _You_ could have been bitten,” he said flatly.  “You _could_. _Have_. _Been_. _Bitten_.  You could have been _killed_.”  He pushed the words out, the thought to devastating to keep in his head.  James tried to sound worried, but he was too angry… at her _and_ at himself. 

“What about _you_?” she snarled. “Are you magically _immune_ to werewolf bites?”

“As a matter of fact, in that form, _yes_ , I am.  Werewolves are only dangerous to _humans_ , and I’m-“

“An Animagus, Potter!  An _Animagus_!!!  What if someone found out?  You _have_ to register – _now_!  You could go to Azkaban for-“

“I’m _not_ going to register, and no one else is going to find out… _right_?” James asked, his voice dark and threatening.

Lily paused.  Obviously, she wasn’t going to run to McGonagall and tattle, but she didn’t want him thinking that she approved _at all_ of what he was doing.  “Potter, I can’t believe-“

“Evans, promise me,” he growled.  “ _Promise me_!  I could have just stood back and watched, you know.”

“You… _you wouldn’t do that_ ,” she whimpered, aghast.  “You wouldn’t have… would _you_?”

James’ frowned, ashamed of himself. “No, no of course not.  I wouldn’t… I couldn’t let that happen to _you_ … or anyone.  But… what _were_ you doing?  Sneaking around trying to catch us?  Did hanging out with _Snivellus_ too long give you a taste for spying on-”

“I. Wasn’t. _Spying_ ,” growled Lily.  “I… I saw you… _strutting_ across the grounds like nothing could touch you… and after you told me that you had self-control!  That…you were going to try and _stick_ to the rules!  You told me that!   We’re _constantly_ losing points because of you!  And Remus does _nothing_ to stop it, so I thought maybe I should.  Did you pick tonight to confront a _werewolf_ because he’s sick?  How does it make him feel that you _never_ listen and you… you… where… he’s _sick_ … he’s…” she trailed off, eyes widening as she looked past James to the stairs leading to the boys dormitory.

She gasped, her green eyes wide in the dim light from the common room fire.  She shook her head once in disbelief, but said nothing.  James’ expression was blank.  _Too_ blank.

Lily shook her head again, telling herself _no, you’re wrong… it can’t be_.  James fisted his hands into his hair and gazed at her with a pleading yet angry expression.  She decided to start with something smaller, something not so earth-shattering… as if such a thing existed right now. 

“Where’s… Black?  And Pettigrew?  Where… are they out there?”

“Evans,” James warned.  “ _Evans_ , _don’t_ -“

“That was them, wasn’t it? Those other animals… were them.  And _Remus_?” she whispered, sadness heavy in her voice. “That… that was _Remus_?”

James closed the distance between them, gripping her hard by the shoulders and shaking her as he spoke.  “You can’t say a word.  Not to anyone – _anyone_!  Dumbledore knows, so do McGonagall, and Pomfrey.  They _all_ _know_ … _all right_?  But no one else – and you _can’t. Say_. _Anything_.  You can’t.  I swear to Merlin or God or any deity you recognize that I’ll… I’ll put a memory charm on you or I’ll drag you up to Dumbledore’s office _right now_ and-“

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Lily assured him, her voice soft.  “I’m not… I won’t say anything.  I promise.”

“I _mean_ it, Evans,” growled James, shaking her again.  “You don’t understand… it would _kill_ him.  You have to swear on everything.  I don’t think you’re taking this as seriously-“

“ _I’m_ not taking it seriously? I _’m not_ -  I’m not a sixteen-year-old Animagus running around with a werewolf and his Animagi friends!” she said so fast she was amazed she didn’t trip over the words.  “I think how seriously I’m taking this is the _least_ of our concerns here.”

“Fair point,” James admitted.  “But I’m _mean it_.  You can’t say anything, to anyone… ever.  _Ev-er_.  You’re right… Moony aside, if I was caught- if _any_ of us are caught - it’s straight to Azkaban.”

“I _know_ ,” said Lily.  “Which is why this shocks me so much.  I mean…  I’m all for pushing the envelope but this… Potter, this is a bit much, don’t you think?”

“It’s worth it if it helps him,” said James firmly.  “I mean it, Evans… _Azkaban_.”

“I don’t want that,” Lily insisted, shaking her head.  “I don’t.”

“You sure? I mean… it’d be one way to get me to leave you alone,” he mused, a sardonic smile on his face.

Lily let out a short laugh.  James’ grip on her arms lessened slightly, palms resting against her biceps now, almost gently.  She put her hands on his forearms and looked him straight in the eye. 

“I’d rather put up with you asking me out for the rest of my life than have you go to Azkaban for helping Remus,” she insisted.  “I _promise_.  I’m not going to say anything.”

James chuckled slightly.  “You may have to… put up with me, that is,” he admitted.  He looked at her forearm, which was still oozing blood.  “You sure you’re all right?”

Lily nodded.  “I’m fine.”

“I should… I need to go back.  I need to go out…”

Lily frowned.  “Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean… Is there anything anyone can do?”

“You know there isn’t,” said James sadly.   “And _don’t_ ask him about it.  He doesn’t like to talk about it.  He may not even remember attacking you.  Don’t-“

“I won’t,” she murmured sadly.

“And _DON’T_ go out on the grounds,” he scolded.  “I –

“You shouldn’t be out there either,” she retorted.

“I’m not, usually… except for the full moon.  Otherwise, I try… I _am_ trying to stay in line for the most part,” he said.  Lily lifted an eyebrow skeptically at him.  “For other things, at least. I’m not a saint.”

Lily shook her head.  “No, that you are not.”

They were silent then.  James stared at her and she stared back at him.  He’d never imagined her looking at him like… _this_.  In his fantasies she always looked at him with awe and longing, not the… formless grief and soberness that accompanied carrying a deep secret like this one.  He still wondered if he should make her swear a vow of some sort. 

But looking back into her face, and the way she rested her hands against his arms… he felt he could trust her.  He knew that Sirius wouldn’t feel the same way, especially if he didn’t come back out.  James swallowed.  

“I’m leaving now.”

“I can’t stop you.”

“Well, you _could_ … but not by talking,” he teased, watching her face flood with color.  “Get some sleep, Evans.” 

With that, he released her arms and walked past her out the portrait hole.  Lily stood alone in the common room for a long time, trying to let her racing mind recover from everything that had happened.  And to think, she’d started off the evening by retreating to her room to try to unwind a little.  _So much for that_ , she thought a little sadly.

Lily went upstairs, but didn’t sleep.  She sat in her four-poster bed, curtains drawn, feeling horrified and sick. 

Remus Lupin was a werewolf. 

Remus Lupin, one of the gentlest and most amusing boys she knew, definitely the _least_ abrasive boy in her year, was a _werewolf_. 

She’d always pictured werewolves as faceless _adult_ monsters; violent creatures that hid in secret and fled from a culture that rejected them.  But here was Remus, sixteen-years-old, a student whose life had barely begun and he was already prohibited from living it.

She guessed Remus didn’t tell his friends outright about his condition, but it would have been impossible not to notice if one of her roommates disappeared every month at the full moon, and Potter, Black, and Pettigrew weren’t exactly dim.   But they hadn’t rejected him.  Rather than reject their friend, they’d decided to help him, and for some reason… helping him meant becoming Animagi.

She knew very little about the process, only that it could go terribly wrong if the wizard was inept.  But somehow these boys, these _sixteen-year-old boys_ , had managed it.  How long had it taken? How _long_ had they been doing this?  She had so many questions.

If Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madam Pomfrey _all_ knew about Remus, they must have a safe place arranged for him to go during transformations.  They’d been by the Whomping Willow, so perhaps there was a place beneath it, or a pathway that led somewhere. 

When she thought of the Willow, she remembered something else.  The incident last year…

It was clear that Potter was selfless enough to risk bodily harm for the sake of helping his friend, but apparently he was also brave enough to risk death to pull someone _else_ out of harm’s way.  When the story broke it seemed so surreal: James Potter, pulling _Severus Snape_ of all people, away from harm…

Snape insisted that it was not Potter playing hero.  He maintained Potter was only saving his own neck and his friends’ necks as well.  Lily _had_ wondered what, exactly, Snape had been saved from.  Maybe Potter had just saved him from getting clobbered by the damn tree.  She wondered if everyone was overexaggerating and assumed, just like with every other rumor that went about, it was probably not nearly as dramatic as people made it out to be.

Only it wasn’t a rumor.  It was true – Potter _did_ save him. And Snape was right, he hadn’t done it to play hero…  Just like jumping in front of a werewolf to protect Lily then swearing her to secrecy, James had done it more for Remus than for Snape _or_ himself, but he had done it none the less.

Having to change her opinion about who James Potter was as a person was going to mess with Lily’s perceptions for a while.  What _else_ was she wrong about?

Julia and Mary began talking and Lily realized the sun was now coming through her windows.  Exhaustion hit her like a Bludger, but it would be impossible to skip classes today.  She feared Potter’s wrath if she didn’t show up and act like everything was normal. She didn’t feel like dealing questions right now so she waited until Julia and Mary had left the tower for breakfast before getting out of bed. 

Lily changed into different school robes, wishing she could take a quick bath to wash off everything that happened last night.  She pulled out a skirt that was buried in the middle of her trunk. The magazine from Slughorn tumbled out alongside it.  Lily picked it up, meaning to toss it aside but she caught a single headline on the cover.

_“Wolfsbane or Insane? Potioneer Damocles Belby Seeks Volunteer Werewolves for New Experimental Potion.”_

Lily tore open the magazine, finding the article described.  Interested parties were to contact Mr. Belby for instructions.  Lily surmised on her own that he wouldn’t get much interest, for werewolves were loath to revel themselves to most of the wizarding world because of discrimination, but that didn’t mean someone couldn’t write on their behalf. 

* * *

“Where is Evans?” asked James as he sat down next to Julia at breakfast.

“Still asleep,” she muttered, chewing on a strip of bacon, her eyes fixed on Sirius.  “Where were _you_?”

“Slept in, not feeling well,” he muttered, looking at James warily. 

“Must be going around,” Mary said, crinkling her nose.  “I’d avoid snogging him if I were you, Julia.  Don’t bring whatever they’ve got to our dorm.”

“Too right,” Julia chuckled.  “First Lupin, now _you_ … I’m guessing Lily is sick too, and that’s why she’s still asleep.”

“What makes you think she’s sick? Did she say anything to you?” asked James, talking a little too fast.   

“No. She didn’t say anything to me because she was _asleep_ ,” Julia replied, giving James a look.  “Awfully concerned about her…”

“It’s not the first time he’s asked all kinds of questions about where she is,” grumbled Peter, rolling his eyes.  “ _Or_ stuck his _neck_ out for her when he shouldn’t.”

Julia quirked an eyebrow.  “What’s got your wand in a knot?  What’s she done to you two?” she asked, gesturing between Sirius and Peter with her fork.

Sirius looked to James first, who had a strained expression on his face, then back to Julia.  “Nothing… nothing _yet_ , anyway,” he added darkly, throwing his bag over his shoulder before heading out of the hall.  Peter followed quickly after, and James sat at the table looking conflicted.

“I’d offer to snog him and put him in a better mood,” Julia told James, “but I’m not getting sick with whatever the lot of you have.”

“He’s not- why do you think we’re sick?” James asked, gathering his own belongings.

“Lupin was out sick yesterday, Lily is still asleep and she’s only ever _this_ sleepy when she’s sick with something, and Black is all surly and complaining of a stomach ache,” Julia replied as though this should be obvious.  “If there’s a foul stomach bug around I’m not catching it, thank you very much.” 

She stood to leave for class, but paused and looked over her should at James.  He had his fists clenched and resting against the table.  His breakfast was untouched.  Julia pursed her lips at him. 

“If she’s not at potions, I’ll check on her,” she offered.  “But I’d like to know _why_ the three of you are pissed off.”

She sauntered away, Mary following close behind.  James slammed his fists on the table, causing several first years to jump and look at him awkwardly.  He pushed the bench away and hitched his bag around his shoulders, cursing under his breath as he wandered to class.

* * *

“Where were you this morning?” asked Julia as she walked into the dungeon.  “Everyone was asking where you were.”

Lily looked up, her eyes heavy and her face pale.  “I just didn’t feel like breakfast, plus I had to send a letter and I spent too long in the owlery.”

“Must have been _some_ letter,” Julia muttered.  “Are you okay?  You look exhausted.”

“I didn’t sleep last night.  I was… out late.”

“Is that why everyone is pissed off at you?”

Lil yawned, then looked confused.  “Who is ‘ _everyone_?’”

“Well, I suppose Potter isn’t… he was just abnormally aggressive this morning as to why you weren’t at breakfast.  But Black and Pettigrew were a bit shirty this morning when he brought you up,” Julia explained.

“Oh,” said Lily, watching as Potter, Black, and Pettigrew joined them in the dungeon.  Potter’s expression was passive, but Black glared at her suspiciously.  She turned her back on them.  “They’re probably angry that I caught them sneaking about last night past curfew.”

“Doing what?” asked Julia, looking over Lily’s shoulder at Black as he sat down .

“Nicking food from the kitchens again,” Lily lied.

Julia scoffed. “It’s just _food_.”

“I’m _just_ a prefect,” Lily replied angrily.  “I’m only _supposed_ to try and keep people in line a bit.  I’d have thought Lupin would keep them in line a bit once he got the badge.”

“Nah,” laughed Julia.  “Half the time he’s in on the nonsense they get up to.” 

Lily scoffed; Julia had _no_ idea.

Slughorn came in then, announcing his arrival in a jovial voice and explaining what they’d be doing today for their lesson.  Lily was thankful it was something easy, because she wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to stay awake.

* * *

“No,” James argued later in the common room.  “She’s not gonna tell.  She promised.”

Sirius growled.  “Moony, back me up here,” he said, slapping Remus on the arm.  “She’s by the book, she’s not going to let this slide.  Besides that, I _know_ how Julia can weasel things out of you… Evans will let something slip and-“

“Who’s she going to let slip to?  McGonagall?  Dumbledore?  They already know,” Remus countered.  “I mean… the worst that’s going to happen is she’s not going to do patrols with me anymore because she’ll be disgusted and-“

“I don’t think so,” James interrupted.  “And stop that; just _stop_ it.  You’re not disgusting. It’s not your fault.  I think Evans felt… _bad_ for you.  Not pity, but I bet she knows sort of how it feels… she gets it for being Muggle-born.”

“It’s not the same,” muttered Remus.

“I know it’s not, but I really don’t think she’ll tell anyone,” James muttered, looking at Sirius who didn’t seem convinced.

“What about _us_ , though?” said Peter.  “Even if she doesn’t – or can’t – say anything about Remus… she could still tell someone about _us_!”

“That’s my point,” agreed Sirius.  “Moony aside… you know how rare Animagi are and she was more shocked about that.  She’ll slip something.  Julia will probe, and probe, and Evans will let something slip.  And if _MacDonald_ finds out, we’re done for.”

“We should obliviate her,” suggested Peter.  “It wouldn’t be hard, would it?  I mean… we’re _Animagi._ Surely we can work out a memory charm.”

“We’re not going to obliviate her.  _No_!  I’m not doing that,” James grumbled, jabbing a finger in Sirius’ direction.  “We’ll just have to watch.  Give it a few days – weeks - and just… keep watch.”

Remus nodded. “Let her come to grips with it.  I’m sure at some point she’ll have questions.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to answer them,” said Peter.  “I’m telling you, she spent too much time hanging around with Snivellus.  She’s going to rat us out.”

“Hang on,” Sirius interjected, his expression thoughtful as he looked at Peter. “We … we can watch her for a few weeks and see if she says anything…  I mean, in class we see her obviously and we can sneak some of those amplifying spells on her, but when they’re all in that dorm… we _could_ sneak in there too.”

“How?” asked James.  “What are you going to do? Shrink yourself?”

“No, but a certain _animal_ is already small, and stealthy, and knows lots of secret passages…” explained Sirius, looking toward Peter.

“Oh… _ohhh_ ,” James added, giving Peter the same look.

“What?” asked Peter, confused as to where this was going.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is has been my headcanon for YEARS regarding these two, because I cannot imagine Lily being married and having children and NOT knowing that James was an Animagus. It would be impossible (well, not impossible, but unlikely in my oh, so humble opinion). Anyway, thanks for the kudos and comments, they really do keep me going and I'm happy to talk about anything that comes up as best I can.


	6. Ratted Out

**Ratted Out**  
**Song stuck in my head: Say That You Love Me – Fleetwood Mac**

* * *

 

The rest of September passed without incident.  Remus recovered and returned to classes, Black’s “stomach ache” disappeared and he went back to his usual jovial self, and Lily caught up on the sleep she’d missed over her discovery.  But as those weeks passed, Lily noticed something markedly different about her days.

James Potter, and his friends, were soundly ignoring her.  Not Julia, for Julia was still meeting up with Sirius every morning to do whatever it is they were doing.  Not Mary; her interactions with them neither decreased or increased.  Only Lily.  She went from talking to James every day, and feeling as though there was a bit of friendship between them, to having him barely glance in her direction. 

It hadn’t bothered her at first, for it meant that she didn’t have to deal with Potter’s showboating or his attempts to ask her out.  But then, she realized he hadn’t even asked her out _once_ this year aside from trying to get her to go to Hogsmeade, or offering her flying lessons.  And despite her constant assertions that James was an arrogant and reckless toerag, after she discovered his secret and learned _why_ he’d become an Animagus, she found him much harder to dislike.  Lily found she missed the banter they had developed. 

By the time October arrived, this silent treatment had begun to bother her.  She decided to try and talk to Potter, knowing another full moon was close and they’d all be sneaking out soon. She first tried to tell him who was on prefect duty and how to avoid them, but he told her it was already taken care of.  She tried asking how Quidditch was going only to receive a perfunctory answer before he wandered away.  She feigned not understanding her transfiguration assignment one night only to have him refer her to Julia since she was already getting tutored by Black.  When she’d tried to talk to Black, he made it so clear that he was ignoring her that Julia took notice and called him out on it.  It was strange, frustrating, and made Lily a little sad.

_He was after you all these years, and when you **finally** start paying him a bit of attention, this happens.  Well done, Evans.  _

“You know,” said Julia on a Friday afternoon after classes had let out.  “You could flat out ask him _why_ he’s avoiding you.”

“No, I can’t,” Lily frowned.  “Apparently, trying to make them stay in line a bit for the good of the house was too much.”

“You shouldn’t feel bad,” said Mary.  “I mean, you’ve got a point about the House Cup.  Potter and Black lost us points today after breakfast because they were showing off that Aguamenti charm by spraying fourth years who passed by.  They shouldn’t mess about so much.  And you are a Prefect, so you _should_ keep them in line.”

“She’s right,” Julia agreed.  “Don’t feel guilty.  Besides, Sirius is the one putting him up to it.  You can rest assured that Potter still has it bad for you.”

“When did ‘Black’ become ‘ _Sirius’_?  And _why_ would I worry about Potter’s crush on me?” asked Lily dismissively.  She wished they would stop talking so she could pinpoint the source of the strange sound she’d heard while she was practicing earlier.  It was a scratching, scampering nose that had started first by the door, but then had moved under one of the beds.  She just couldn’t figure out which one.

“Because of that _look_ you get when you try to talk to him and he walks away.  Don’t think I haven’t seen it,” said Julia.  “Sirius is behind it all, and you know if he wants something, Potter usually follows along.  And I’ve been calling him that for weeks if you’d been paying attention.”

“How do you know he’s is the leader behind it?”

“He as good as said so,” Julia replied, tossing her hair out as he examined herself in the mirror.  “He was on about you being trustworthy when I called him out on this ridiculous silent treatment, asking me if you’ve ever blabbed something I’ve told you.”

Lily scoffed angrily.  “That’s… he’s one to talk… What did you tell him?”

“I called him a sod and told him that if I ask you to keep a secret, you will… I also mentioned you’ve kept plenty of secrets from me,” Julia noted, locking eyes with Lily in the mirror.  “I mean… you didn’t let on for _six years_ that you play violin.”

“You play the _violin_?” asked Mary, shocked.

Lily blinked at Julia in the mirror.  “How’d you know that?”

“Columba told me after Astronomy.  Asked if _I_ had any latent musical talent and how often you practiced,” explained Julia as she stripped off a shirt and began digging through her trunk for another.  “When I told her I didn’t know _what_ she was talking about, she said you’ve been coming up there for violin lessons.  She thinks you’re quite good.”

“How did we not know this?” Mary pressed angrily. “We’re your _roommates_!  Why didn’t you tell us?”

Lily shrugged.  “It never came up.  I figured no one would care.  The one person I _did_ tell about it told me I could just charm it to play if I liked music, and I wouldn’t have time for lessons once I started learning magic.”

“ _Pssssh_ ,” Julia scoffed.  “That’s rubbish.  I mean, yes you _can_ charm it… but why do that?  Especially if you enjoy it.”

“Anyway, back to this whole ‘I’m not trustworthy’ business, why does he think that?” asked Lily.

Julia shrugged as she stood up and pulled a red blouse over her head, examining herself approvingly. “He didn’t say, just wondered why I trusted you.  I told him if he trusts me, he can trust you.  I expect he’s worried about you breaking poor Potter’s heart to pieces if you – “

“I think Potter’s heart is much sturdier than he lets on,” Lily interjected, dropping to the floor and looking underneath her bed.  “It must be if he’s going along with this… not talking to me business.  Either that or he’s _hooked up_ with someone else.”

Julia eyed Lily over her shoulder, looking amused.  “You’re _grumpy_ when you have a crush.”

Lily jumped to her feet. “I do _not_ have a _crush_ on _Potter_ ,” she growled.  “I couldn’t care less.  It’s just… awkward to have a whole group of people, _one_ of whom is my fellow prefect, not talking to me.  It’s more to do with _Remus_ than Potter.   _Potter_ … he’s… he just- “

“Who’re you trying to convince?” Julia laughed.  “Certainly not me.  If you say you don’t have a crush on him, I believe you.”

“ _Hmph_ ,” Lily muttered, watching as Julia flipped her hair in the mirror again.  “Well, I don’t.  And what are you doing anyway?  Why are you trying on all your clothes?”

“Hogsmeade tomorrow,” she explained.

“You have a date?” asked Mary.

“Not exactly… trying to win a bet is more like it.”

“A bet?” laughed Lily.  “What bet?”

“Well, in contrast to what everyone _thinks_ , I have _not_ been off snogging Sirius in empty classrooms every morning.  He actually _has_ been helping me with my transfiguration.  He has also been a huge flirt all morning, and in class, and all evening… but then there are days he acts like I don’t exist.  He’s being a tease and I figure if he can do it, so can I.”

Lily smirked.  “I’d wear jeans then if I were you,” she noted.  “He seems to like them; remember he had eight or nine pairs in that cart when we saw him over the summer?”

“But a skirt is sexier,” Mary suggested.

Julia shrugged, looking at the skirt she was wearing and how it paired with the red blouse she had on. “As far as shirts go, I like that one,” Lily continued, walking around by Julia’s bed, still looking for the source of the scuffling noise she had been hearing. “It shows off your neck and shoulders, plus it’s just a tad short.”

“Short?”

“I can see your stomach,” said Lily.  “It’s sexy.”

Julia smirked at Lily in the mirror.  “So… this and jeans?”

“I still think a skirt is sexier,” said Mary.

“I wear skirts every day,” Julia dismissed. “Perhaps jeans are better.  And I think Lily is right; Sirius does have a thing for them.  Right, this will work,” she said decisively before looking at Lily, who had kneeled down on the ground next to her bed. “Lily… what _are_ you doing?”

Lily quickly dove under Julia’s bed, hands scrambling frantically until her fingers found something furry and soft and she seized hold and wrenched herself back to her feet.

“ _Gotcha_!” she shouted victoriously, holding her hand in the air and staring, half triumphant, half horrified, at the chubby grey rat she’d managed to capture. She had it by the back of the neck and it was squirming wildly, watery little eyes terrified and the tuft of yellow hair standing out in contrast with the rest of its grey body.  Lily’s triumphant expression fell into one of shock, then one of anger, though her roommates did not seem to notice.

“Is that a _rat_?” Mary asked excitedly.  “ _Oh_ , look how _cute_ it is!”

Julia cringed and backed away.  “Er… yeah… I don’t know anyone who has a rat though, do you?  Do you think it’s… are there _wild_ rats in Hogwarts?”

“No, there aren’t wild rats in the castle.  This one… I’m sure it’s _familiar_ to someone,” said Lily darkly, glaring at the chubby rat.  It continued to struggle and began squeaking wildly, head thrashing from side to side.  Lily pulled out her wand, pointing it directly between the rat’s eyes.  “You _bite_ me, and I’ll have more than just your tail… _got it_?”

“Oh, don’t talk to it that way,” scolded Mary, taking it from Lily’s hands and cuddling it against her cheek.  “It’s _frightened_.  I don’t know how it got in here, but it looks _scared_.  Poor thing; I wonder who’s it is.”

“I think I know who it belongs to.  One of the fifth years has a rat,” Lily made up on the spot.  “I can take him back.”

“Do we know it’s a him?” asked Julia, grabbing Mary’s wrist so she could flip the rat over to look between its back legs.

Lily sniggered uncontrollably.  “Can you tell?”

“Stop tormenting him,” scolded Mary, snatching her arm away.  “I used to have a rat when I was a kid.  I love them… are you sure it belongs to someone?  We could just keep it.  None of us have a familiar, it might be nice.” 

“Oh, _yes_ ,” Lily chuckled. Her grin was wicked.  The rat stopped squirming when she glared it down. “Let’s keep it as a pet.  We can dress it up in cute little sweaters, we can practice transfiguration on it…  We could even ask it little questions, like whether Black likes skirts or jeans better?  What do you think, _Mr. Rat_?  Does he like jeans or would he prefer Julia in a skirt?”

Julia laughed.  “I’m not sure I want to take fashion advice from a rodent,” she admitted, though her amusement died a moment later as she looked warily between the rat, Mary, and Lily. “Tell me we’re not keeping it.  I know people have them but, honestly, rats creep me out.”

“We can’t keep it,” Lily muttered.

“Oh, but we should,” said Mary, snuggling the rodent again. “If someone has lost it, maybe they don’t care for it like they should.”

“I’m fairly certain someone is going to want it back,” Lily insisted.  “Here, I’ll take it up.  I need to talk to Hanks anyway.”

“Is it his?” asked Mary.

Lily shook her head.  “No, but I bet he’ll know who it belongs to,” she added, taking the rat and placing it on her shoulder.  She watched Julia shudder as she passed and laughed a little, shutting the door behind her and walking partway down the stairs.

Lily looked sidelong at the rat.  It shuddered a little and covered its eyes.  “Don’t get cute with me,” she growled.  “You’re damn lucky _I_ found you and not Julia.  I think she would have crushed you on the spot, though I’m considering doing the same…” she muttered, noting the rats terrified squeak as she crossed the common room and headed up to the boys’ dormitory.

* * *

“Wormtail has been up there since after Defense got out,” said James while he fiddled with his snitch.  “You reckon he got stuck in there again?”

“If he can’t get through that little passage in the wall he should be able to squeeze under the door, unless he’s too fat,” shrugged Sirius.  “He’ll get out when they leave for dinner.”

“I’m still not sure we need to keep sending him.  I mean… it’s been a month and she hasn’t told anyone,” James muttered.  “You even said Tottleham told you she was trustworthy.”

“She said _she_ trusts her; she didn’t give me any reason that _we_ should trust her,” Sirius pointed out.

 James frowned and went back to throwing his snitch.  Sirius threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up to look at him.  “I’m serious… besides, maybe all of us ignoring her will demonstrate your ‘ _self-control’_ and she’ll be more interested in you.”

“Or,” James grumbled, “if you had _your_ way, I’d leave her alone for good.”

“That’s not… _look_ ,” Sirius argued. “I’m just trying to watch out for us.  It’s more about _us_.  I don’t want some bird- “

“You’re always on about wanting to snog Tottleham, and how _fit_ she is, and her _legs_ ,” James snarled, suddenly angry.  “And _that’s_ okay… it’s okay for _you_ to sneak off every morning, but if- “

“ _She_ doesn’t _know_ about us!” Sirius snapped.  “She didn’t sneak out and follow- “

“Evans wasn’t sneaking, it was an _accident_!” James maintained.  “I don’t think- “

A loud knock interrupted him.  Remus, who’d been ignoring their bickering trying to study, jumped out of his bed.  “Who’s knocking?  No one knocks…”

This observation made Sirius rise warily, looking from James to Remus and back again.  James stood up and looked at the door with a shrug.  Finally, Sirius strode over and opened it.

Lily Evans stood facing him, her expression hard, eyes narrowed, and cheeks flushed red.

“Wotcher, Evans,” said Sirius in a flat voice.  “Come to give us detention because MacDonald tattled about- “

Lily narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, stepping into the doorway and whipping her hair back.  James saw him freeze and he jumped forward, his own eyes widening as they both stared at the little grey rat sitting atop her shoulder, shuddering in fear.

“ _Shit_ ,” Sirius muttered, stepping aside to let Lily in the room.  He shut the door behind her.

James expected her to round on him as she always did, but instead she turned on Sirius first.  She took Wormtail gently from her shoulder and handed him to Sirius, who took him in hand with a cautious look on his face.  “I believe _that_ belongs to you?  Or does it belong to _you_?” she asked, now turning her blazing eyes on James.

“Well, he doesn’t really _belong_ to anyone,” said Sirius, smirking.  “I’d like to think he’s his own person.”

 Lily made an angry noise and her face went even redder.  “Anyone care to explain?”  she asked.  No one spoke.  “ _Anyone_? None of you have _anything_ to say?”

“You’re… you… you’re looking fit as usual, Evans,” said James with a grin, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans, the other fiddling with his hair. 

“Are you… are you making a _pass_ at me? Are you _joking_?” she snarled.  “He was in our dorm – _our dorm_!  How long has he been _coming in_?  Julia was changing and- “

“Changing, eh?” laughed Sirius, looking at the rat on his shoulder.  “Did you get a good – “

“You think this is a _joke_?  You think I’m _laughing_?” asked Lily, completely aghast.  When no one responded she growled and threw her arms down at her sides, fists clenched so hard her knuckles were white.  “I’m fucking _serious_ right now!” she snarled. 

James laughed once while Remus looked alarmed.  Sirius just gaped at her, never having heard Lily Evans The Prefect curse before.  He bit back a laugh.  “Well, I _do_ tend to trust people who swear a bit more than – “

Lily screeched something unintelligible and pulled her wand out from her robes.  Sirius backed away, putting his hands up defensively. 

“I should hex that _smart mouth_ right off your face,” she growled.  “You sneaking, _arrogant_ little- “

Remus and James jumped in and began yelling at the same time.

“It wasn’t _just_ his idea!”

“Lily, we only wanted- “

“I know it wasn’t _only_ his idea!  I meant the _lot_ of you,” she screeched, turning her wand to James.  “ _You_! _Ohhhh_ … you!  I _promised_ \- I told you I wasn’t going to say anything, and I _haven’t_!  I haven’t, and I _won’t_!”

“We only wanted to make sure you didn’t let something slip!” Sirius shot back.  “ _Okay_?  We… Tottle ferrets things out of people, and you know how Macdonald can- “

“I know what my friends are like,” she spat at Sirius.  “I’ve lived with them for 6 years and I know _a lot_ more about Julia than you _ever_ will!”

Sirius frowned.  “That’s not fair. I haven’t - “

“You what?  You _like_ her?” She sneered, tuning on Sirius again.  “You know, she listens to me… she _trusts_ me.  I ought to tell her I came up here and found you _snogging_ some 4 th year.  I should tell her you somehow put an amplifying charm around her bag and you can hear everything she says about you.”

Sirius looked alarmed.  “You wouldn’t… you… what’s she been saying about me?” he asked, a grin spreading across his face.

“ASK _HIM_!” Lily shouted, looking to Peter. 

Sirius set him down and he transformed instantly, looking alarmed as Lily dropped her wand and put her hand on her hip.  “Go on, tell them!” she shouted at Peter.

He stammered.  “Evans, I wasn’t spying, I _swear_.  It wasn’t my idea and- “

A roar of voices went up around him and Peter cowered under his hands.

Sirius swatted Peter over the head. “We _all_ agreed- “

“ _You were all for it_!” James bleated, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

 “We _all_ said- “

-we should check on her!” Sirius yelled, gesturing to Lily.

-maybe it would be good to check for while!” Remus finished, gesturing to himself, Sirius, and James.

“ _I know we agreed_!” yelped Peter, still cowering.  “But I wasn’t _spying_!  I was just… I just _listened_ to make sure you didn’t let something slip.  That was all!”

“And did I?” asked Lily.  “Go on!  Have I let anything _slip_?”

Peter shook his head.  “N-no, Evans.  You haven’t said anything, just like I told you all before,” he stammered, looking at his friends.  “They don’t even talk about us, usually.  The only time we’ve ever come up was today when you were asking why Prongs isn’t talking to you,” he mumbled to Lily.  “And you told Tottleham we were mad because you tried to give us detention for sneaking out to get food.  She completely bought it, so did Macdonald…even said that it was stupid for you to try to give us detention since Moony can’t even do it.”

Sirius laughed.  “That’s true… he can’t.  Detention for nicking food… that’s a good excuse.”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Lily growled, pointing her wand back at him.

“She’s a bloody good liar,” said Peter fairly.

Lily’s eyes narrowed, and she turned her wand to him.  “I’m not _lying_ ; I’m keeping _your_ bloody secrets.”

“All right, let’s… here,” said Remus placatingly, putting his hand on Lily’s wand arm and pushing it down away from Peter’s face.  “Listen, I’m saying it.  I trust you, Lily.  All right?  I know you won’t- “

“Of _course,_ I won’t,” she said emphatically, turning to him.  “Listen, I understand.  I do… it’s not the same but I _know_ what it’s like to be shunned for something you have no control over.  And I’m… I’m so sorry, Remus.  I’m so, _so_ _sorry_ ,” she added, grabbing onto his forearm and squeezing tightly. 

Remus looked down at her hand and pursed his lips.  “It wasn’t your doing.  I’m just… glad you weren’t… hurt… and that you aren’t disgusted by- “

“Who could ever be disgusted by you?” Lily whispered sadly.  She chewed her lip.  “I’ve read enough to know how most people would respond, so I understand why no one can know,” she explained before turning her eyes to James.

“And I had thought, _maybe_ , I misjudged the three of you a bit. You _didn’t_ shun him, _and_ you put yourselves at risk to help him,” she added.  James looked hopeful for a split second but then Lily’s face shifted back into one of loathing.  She looked at him, then to Sirius and Peter.

“But _now_ , after you sent him to _spy_ on me instead of just _talking_ to me… I think I was spot on,” she said in a disgusted voice.  “You’re all - “

“ _No_!” James yelped.  He threw Sirius a furious look. It was, after all, _his_ fault that they weren’t talking to Lily.  If she had started to warm to him but changed her mind back, James was going to beat Sirius senseless.  “No, listen… you _didn’t_ misjudge us, we just- “

“It was _my_ idea to send him up,” interrupted Sirius, looking a little guilty.  “All right?  I was the suspicious one.  I just know from… _experience_ … that Julia can weasel things out of you if she wants, and I only wanted to protect my mates.”

Lily frowned, expression shifting from anger to hurt.  James grimaced and looked at Sirius who had a sort of hang dog expression on his face.  “Remus?” Lily asked in a quiet voice.

Remus swallowed.  “I … just didn’t want anyone else to find out,” he admitted.

“So, _none_ of you trust me?” she asked in a pained voiced.  She looked to James, and he grimaced back at her.  “I told you _that night_ I wasn’t going to say anything.  I _swore_.  I realize what’s at stake here.  I’m don’t… I’m not going to turn anyone over to the dementors.”

“Or the ministry,” Peter added.

“Right, because the last thing I want is them tracking me and trying to frame me for something I didn’t do,” said Sirius.

“Why would- “

“Blood traitors, the lot of us,” he explained, gesturing to his friends.  “You know what kind of stuff is going on, Evans, don’t be thick.”

Lily swallowed, tucking her hair behind her ears.  “Just how long has this been going on?”

“Since the full moon,” James admitted, frowning when Lily scowled at him.  “We saw… you’re _always_ late for breakfast, and you and Tottleham are always hissing to each other during meals and in the common room and-.”

“She’s my _friend_!” Lily said angrily.  “Of course, we whisper about stuff.  And did you ever think for a _moment_ it might be about _him_?” she finished, jerking her thumb at Sirius, who had a devilish grin on his face.

James bit back a laugh.  “It… crossed our minds.”

“ _Begging_ for me, is she?” asked Sirius, looking haughty as he crossed his arms over his puffed-out chest.  “She’s been flirty enough. I expect she’ll come running at Hogsmeade- “

“You _ass_ ,” Lily growled at him.  “Why don’t you ask _him_ how Julia feels about that.”

Peter quelled. “Evans, I _really_ didn’t go in with the intention to spy on you all, I just wanted to… listen and make sure something didn’t slip.  I didn’t pay much attention to anything else.  But you didn’t let anything slip… you’re… you’re a good secret keeper, Evans,” he said placatingly.

Lily pursed her lips, her expression still hard.  She stowed her wand back in her robes and re-crossed her arms.  “So, are we good then?  If I find another _rat_ in my dorm I can properly get rid of it?”

“There will be no more rats in your dorm,” Peter assured her.

“We’re probably lucky none of you has a cat,” admitted Sirius.

“None of us has a pet of any kind,” Lily replied.  “Fine.  We’re okay then?”

“We’re good,” said Sirius.  “I trust you, I’m… sorry I didn’t before,” he continued, giving Lily an apologetic look.

Lily scrunched up her face.  “I’m sorry I… no, I’m _not_ sorry I tried to find you and drag you inside when you were sneaking out.  I won’t apologize because you three are _constantly_ losing points for us and I’d like to win the cup once while I’m here.  I’m not sorry about going out to bring you back in,” she explained, then smiled a little.  “But, I understand _why_ now… so… it’s fine by me.”

Sirius smirked. “We’re not asking for your permission, you know.”

“I didn’t expect that, but I still won’t apologize for my intentions.”

“Fair enough,” Sirius agreed.  “Now… _has_ Julia been begging for me?  I’ve been waiting - “

“You are a prat,” Lily said again, shaking her head.  “I _should_ tell her I found you up here snogging some other girl.”

“ _Pssh_ …you wouldn’t do that,” he replied dismissively.

“Why shouldn’t I?  You’re just messing her about. Even she thinks so.”

“ _WHA_ \- “yelped Sirius, aghast.  “She thinks _I’m_ messing her about?  _Me_?  _She’s_ the one who just wanted a snog last year – she even said so!”

“Maybe… she’s kept at you though, hasn’t she?” Lily pointed out.  “She says you’ve been a right tease.  All _flirty_ when you help her, and then acting like she barely exists a few hours later.  You know, she wouldn’t have a problem finding someone else to snog if she really wanted to.  She’s not one to wait around.”

Sirius considered this.  “Change in plans,” he announced.  “Change – plans… a _tease_ , am I?” he asked to no one in particular. Sirius went to his trunk and began rifling through it.

James laughed as he watched him, but then looked back to Lily, ruffling his hair gently.  “We’re okay then?”

“ _Are_ we?” asked Lily, looking at Remus, Peter, and James.  “Have we all agreed now that I’m not going to nark you out to anyone?”

“I trust you, Lily,” said Remus.  “I do… I promise.”

“Me too,” added Peter.

“I’ve always trusted you,” James insisted. 

“Does this mean you’re going to start talking to me now?” asked Lily, tucking her hair behind her ears.

James quirked an eyebrow, standing up straighter and ruffling his hair. Remus fought to hide a smirk and Peter looked confused. Sirius stopped his digging to turn over his shoulder and listen.  “You… D’you _want_ me to start talking to you again?” he asked, his voice a little lower than normal.

“Yes… well, I mean… I don’t want you to _not_ talk to me,” she sputtered, avoiding his gaze.  James felt his own cheeks start to get hot at the same time he noticed her blushing.   

“Missed me, did you?” he grinned, feeling a little smug.

Lily pursed her lips and looked directly at him.  “I did…for about two seconds,” she replied, tossing her hair over her shoulder and crossing her arms. 

James grinned and stepped closer to her.  He was quite a bit taller than her, her forehead was level with his nose, even when she stood up straighter.  She was still; breathing slowly and face passive.  James stared back, trying to stay confident in the knowledge that she’d missed interacting with him, even if it was just a little bit.

“Tell you what,” he said after a few moments.  “We’ve talked about this before, but…I remember hearing that you can’t fly well.  As you know, I _can_ , so- “

“ _Oh-ho-ho_ ,” Lily laughed mirthlessly, narrowing her eyes.  “You _arrogant_ \- “

“ _No_!” James protested.  “I’m not… I’m not trying to be arrogant.  I’m a good flyer; _I_ _am_.  I can teach you.  I taught Wormtail and he’s ace now.  Let me teach you, it’ll make up for… all this…”

Lily considered this.  “You want to teach me how to fly?”

“Yes. _Yes_ ,” James insisted.  “I’d like that.”

“What will I get out of it?”

“The ability to fly a broomstick? The pleasure of my company?” he ventured with a sly grin.

“I’m not unsure of how pleasurable that would actually be. And once I can Apparate, I won’t need to fly,” she shrugged.  “So, what’s in it for me?”

He considered her, knowing that if Lily was anything she intelligent.  And intelligent people tended to be constantly curious.  “All right.  You can ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer.  Anything about anything,” offered James.

“Anything?”

“ _Anything_ ,” agreed James, nodding when Sirius gave him a look.  Sirius shrugged and went back to his sorting.

“All right, then,” said Lily, tossing her hair and smirking a little.  James felt the thrill of success run through him.  “That works.”

“It’s a date, then,” he confirmed.

“It’s _not_ a date.”

“It technically is,” Remus pressed with a grin.

“No, it’s _not_!  Hogsmeade, tomorrow… or… _whenever_.  Just… find me when you have time,” said Lily, turning toward the door.

“Oh, I’ll find time, Evans… for you, I’ll find lots of time,” James laughed, following her toward the door.  He paused at the entry way, giving her a bright smile.  Her lip twitched, and she grinned back at him like she was unable to help herself.  Then she frowned again.

“Stay out of my dorm.”

“Done… will do.”

Lily nodded, peering around him to look at Sirius.  “She thinks you’re a tease,” she reiterated.

“Does she like music? Does she like _Fleetwood Mac_?  What kind of music does she like?” asked Sirius, still sorting through his trunk.

“How do you… _Fleetwood Mac_ is a muggle band,” she said, confused.

“We like the radio,” James shrugged.

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head.  “Don’t play her around,” she yelled at Sirius as she walked out the door.  James shut it behind her.

As soon as she was out, Sirius rounded on Peter.  “So, what did Tottle _really_ say?” he asked.

Peter shook his head.  “Evans’ wasn’t lying, she _does_ think you’re a tease.  She’s been on about it for days.  Today she was … going through her clothes trying to find something to wear tomorrow.  They were debating on whether you’d like jeans or a skirt better.”

James laughed loudly.  Sirius’ grin was wicked.  “I hope they were smart enough to settle on jeans,” he said.  “What else?”

“That was it,” Peter replied.  “Evans _was_ upset that none of us were talking to her.   And they got into it about her playing the violin and not telling them for six years.  Don’t know how they didn’t find out this year; she plays _all the time_ when they’re not in the dorm.”

James tilted his head curiously, looking at Remus who also seemed surprised by this development.  “She plays the violin?” asked Remus.

“Yeah,” added Peter.  “She’s not bad either.  I mean, I don’t have much to compare it to, but it was kind of nice.  Put me to sleep once.”

Sirius laughed.  “Lucky you were able to stay in form… that would have been 10 times worse if you’d just spontaneously appeared under the bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes:  
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE! I'll still have a Friday update but this is one of my shameless self-indulgent presents I'm giving myself for my birthday. Thank you for any comments and Kudos, I really do appreciate them.


	7. Rumor News and Racing Brooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry this chapter took a bit to get uploaded, busy day. Thanks for the reviews again and the birthday wishes! Someone mentioned making a playlist, as if I didn't have one already. I add to it as I write but the link at the very end is what I have so far if anyone is interested.

**Rumor News and Racing Brooms**   
**Song stuck in my head: You Sexy Thing – Hot Chocolate**

* * *

 

It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and the pathway was thick with students eager to visit the little village.  It was more crowded than usual due to the presence of teachers in front, back, and along the sides of the throngs of students.  Extra patrols and extra precautions.  There were Aurors in Hogsmeade as well, stationed there as security when students visited. 

Though crowded, these security measures didn’t dampen the students’ spirits at all.  The third years were chattering excitedly, it being the first time they were allowed to venture beyond the grounds of Hogwarts.  The fourth and fifth years were discussing where they’d go first and what they’d bring back with them since they already knew the routine.  The sixth and seventh years were largely doing the same, though some of them were complaining and requesting more freedom since they were of age or close to it.

“I’m less than two months from seventeen,” Julia was saying.  “I can handle myself.”

“It’s amazing to me that so many people believe that simply turning of age means they’re completely qualified for any situation that could come up,” Lily replied, rolling her eyes. 

Julia tossed her long blond hair.  She looked stunningly pretty.  The red blouse she wore had a scooped neck that sat low on her chest, and the jeans she wore fit closely around her hips then flared out at her calves.  Lily knew she had dressed to get attention, and she couldn’t deny it had worked.  Several boys were staring at her with interest while several girls shot her envious glares.

“I don’t think I know _everything_ , but I know a bit. I know enough to keep me save on the path to Hogsmeade,” she muttered.  “Why does Rincewind have to come?  Why couldn’t McGonagall?”

“McGonagall is up front,” Lily said.  “And Rincewind was an Auror.”

“If you ask me, Rincewind has been hit with a few too many curses in his day,” Julia replied. 

“I think that’s what makes him a good teacher,” said Lily fairly.

“I’m not saying he’s not a good teacher,” Julia insisted.  “We’ve learned loads so far… but he’s a bit… paranoid.  I mean, why would the Death Eaters come to Hogsmeade?”

“Why wouldn’t they come,” Lily whispered darkly, looking at the group of Slytherins a few students ahead of them.  “The more they can get the word out about ridding the world of Muggles and Mudbloods- “

“Don’t say the word,” Julia grimaced.

“It’s just a word,” Lily frowned.

“It’s a disgusting word, and it bothers you more than you let on,” she said pointedly.  “Don’t give me that look, I know it does.  I _know_ you, Lily.”

“Speaking of _knowing_ people,” said Lily, changing the subject, “how do you plan on showing Black you’re onto his game?”

Julia smirked.  “I’m not planning on doing anything.  If he thinks I’ll just come running for him, he’s got another thing coming.  I’m just going to let him see how well that plan works out for him.”

“Why the dressing up then?  Why the lipstick?” asked Lily with a small laugh.

“You said it yourself, he’s the one missing out.  Why not show him what he’s missing out on?  Show him if I want to, I’ll have no problem finding someone else to snog for a while.”

“You like him, though,” Lily pointed out.  This was all confusing to her: the flirting, the sneaking around, the indecisiveness.  Why couldn’t people just be honest with one another?

Julia shrugged.  “I do…he’s handsome enough, and he’s a good kisser, but if he’s not kissing me I’m not going to wait about. He’s got that ego of his to think about as well; he’s not the only decent kisser in this castle.”

Lily looked confused, but Julia smirked.  “Hey Adrien!  Max!  Wait up!” she shouted, dragging Lily along as she ran to them and began asking what they had planned for the day. 

Behind them, James and Sirius were watching curiously and trying to formulate their own plan.  All James wanted to do was get Lily’s attention, while all Sirius wanted to do was get Julia alone.  Peter and Remus lingered behind, talking with Sam Pitchfield and Alexis Sloan.

James couldn’t help but wonder if Julia had convinced Lily to dress nicely as well.  While Julia had chosen to wear jeans, Lily was wearing knee length dress with long sleeves. It was blue, which emphasized how dark red her hair was, and it hugged her at the waist before flowing out over her hips.  James couldn’t help but stare.  Lily Evans was arguably one of the prettiest girls in school, and it showed today for she was drawing all sorts of looks and James felt a rush of jealousy mingle with the ever-present butterflies in his stomach. 

“I want to write a letter,” said Sirius, interrupting James’ thoughts.

“Pardon?”

“I need to write a letter to… Levi Strauss or whoever he is, and thank him.”

“What?” asked James with a laugh.

“For jeans,” said Sirius, gesturing to Julia in front of him.  “Look at that… you can’t _not_ look at that.”

James laughed.  “You might be on to something there,” he agreed, looking at Julia then back to Lily.  She was shorter than Julia but not by much.  Where Julia was almost angular, Lily was slender but soft and her legs were longer than they looked when she wore her cloak.  Maybe it was just the dress she was wearing that made them look that way.  “Perhaps I’ll write a letter too,” he mused.  “But to Madam Malkin for those skirts.  I’ll still never understand the dress code here; it begs for impropriety.”

“Too right.  Do you remember on Friday when she had on that skirt and kept climbing on the benches in Herbology?  I think that’s why half of us          we’re getting snagged by those tentaculas.” laughed Sirius.

“You still planning on trying to get that show on the road?” asked James.

“If she’s willing,” Sirius replied quietly as they finally reached where Lily and Julia were walking with Max and Adrien.  Lily was laughing as she talked with Max and Julia had interlinked her arm with Adrien’s and was talking to him about why Zonko’s should come up with a larger sugar quill and that the edible mice were creepy.  She flipped her long hair over her shoulder and Sirius clicked his tongue.  He shook his head, a broad grin on his face.  “And I hope she is.  What about you?  You and Evans going to do this flying thing?”

“It might take a miracle,” James mused.

“ _I believe in miracles_!” sang Sirius loudly as they walked, over the sound of James’ laughter.  “ _Where you from?  You sexy thing, you sexy thing you…_ ”

He continued singing, much to the amusement of everyone around him.  Julia whipped her head around, fighting a grin as she glared at him and Lily looked startled but amused.  Adrien was laughing but Max had a mutinous look on his face as he eyed James.  James glared back, unashamed as he and Sirius approached them. 

“You might not want to quit your day job,” Julia teased over Sirius’ singing, unhooking her arm from Adrien’s as Sirius stepped beside her, half pushing Max out of the way.

“ _How did you know… I needed you?  How did you know… I needed you so badly_?” he sang as he slung an arm around her shoulder.  “What do you mean?  This was my plan for after school.”

“You’d better not let Flitwick hear you,” Adrien laughed.  “He’d be after you to join the choir like he is Bertram.”

Sirius scoffed.  “I can sing better than Aubrey. I’d join, but I don’t feel like carrying the whole choir with my voice.”

Julia giggled.  “Yes, you’re probably better as a one-man show.”

Sirius laughed, his eyes dark as he leaned his head into Julia’s hair and whispered something no one could hear.  When he was done, James saw her look at him with an amused expression.   “Perhaps you should buy me a drink first,” she murmured.

“I can do that,” Sirius grinned.  “Prongs, we can do that, right?”

“Most certainly,” replied James with a laugh.  Sirius grinned and pulled Julia closer, walking ahead with her into the Three Broomsticks.  Adrien looked a little perturbed, but tugged at Max’s sleeve and headed off in the opposite direction.  Max held back a moment, looking from James to Lily.

“We’re going to head to Honeydukes first; want to come, Lily?” he asked, holding out his hand.

Lily shook her head.  “Nah, I don’t want anything in there, and I’d better keep an eye on Julia.”

“I’m sure she can handle herself,” said Max.

“I’m… not so sure,” Lily laughed, grinning when James laughed along with her.

Max pursed his lips.  “Save us a seat then,” he said, following Adrien into the sweet shop.  “I’ll grab you some chocolate!” he called back a moment later.

“She doesn’t like chocolate!” James shouted after him, stepping up beside Lily who looked at him with a small grin.

“You remembered,” she said, surprised.

“I remember a lot more about you than you probably realize,” said James, a little sheepishly.

Lily looked amused and shook her head.  “Well, that didn’t take long.”

“What didn’t?” he asked.  “Did you tell her Sirius was messing her about?”

“ _No_ ,” said Lily honestly.  “I only let her come to her own assumptions, then I wholeheartedly supported them.”

“And what were those assumptions?”

“That he’s playing hard to get,” said Lily, walking slowly towards the pub.  “That he thinks he’s got her wrapped around his finger and she’ll come running when he calls.”

James smirked.  “And that’s _not_ the case?”

“Well, it _wasn’t_ the case until he started singing,” Lily admitted with a laugh.  “She likes to think she’s strong willed… I think she likes him a bit more than she wants to admit.”

“I think Padfoot probably is on the same broom,” said James.  “Speaking of brooms-”

“You decided to look like one today?” asked Lily with a smirk, gesturing toward James’ untidy hair and tall, lanky build. 

James grinned, ruffling his hair and biting his lip to stop one of the one-hundred broom related comments in his head from coming out of his mouth.  “If it pleases you, yes, I look like a broom.”

Lily quirked an eyebrow.  “I expected some quip about riding a broomstick or something,” she mused.  “You disappoint me, Potter.”

“Well, I don’t want to do that,” he laughed.  “I was only trying to be respectful.  If you’d like, I can come up with a few comments while we have a drink?”

“Yes, lets… Merlin knows we shouldn’t leave our friends to their own devices,” she said, pushing the door to the pub open. 

The Three Broomsticks was especially crowded today, thanks to all the students and aurors and teachers in the village, but James noticed Remus and Peter had beaten them inside and were already at the bar putting in an order.  Sirius joined them a few seconds later, having come from a table where Samantha Pitchfield was sitting next to Julia.  James nodded to where the girls were, watching as Lily waved and headed across the pub to join them.  He went up to the bar towards his friends to order a drink.

“… will be seventeen in less than a month, Rosie… less than a _month_ ,” Sirius was saying.  “Come on, just one little glass of Firewhiskey.”

“ _Sirius Black_ ,” Rosmerta replied in an attempt to be stern.  “You may have less than a month, but you are not seventeen yet.  I could get in so much trouble, so could you.”

Sirius scoffed.  “There are so many people in here no one is going to notice what you bring me.  And you know me, I’m discreet…”

Rosmerta laughed.  “I’m sure that is the case when the four of you are not drawing as much attention to yourselves as possible.”

“He’s got a girl to impress if that makes a difference,” said James with a grin. 

“Have _you_?” said Rosmerta with wicked delight.  “Where is she?  Which one?”

“The blond,” Peter said, gesturing towards Julia.  “The tall blond in the red shirt.”

“Oh yes, I’ve seen her in here before,” she laughed.  “And I know the other girl belongs to you, Remus.”

“Which other girl?” asked Remus curiously.

“The one with the short hair,” she said.  “She’s been in asking if you were here before, it wasn’t about studying either,” she added with a wink.

James grinned at Remus, who was blushing and looking rather pleased with himself.  He didn’t agree nor disagree with Rosmerta’s assessment, instead he simply cleared his throat and continued with his order.  “It’s just a butterbeer for me…”

“Make it two… no, make it five,” said James, looking toward where Lily was sitting and talking with Julia and Sam.  Adrien and Max had just come in the door and were walking over toward the table.  James elbowed Remus, who looked over to the table before elbowing Sirius for the same reason.

“I tell you what, boys,” Rosmerta said, watching the table curiously.  “Here’s your butterbeers, James, your gillywater, Peter, and I’ll bring the rest out in a bit,” she said, sliding bottles and glasses to whom they were assigned.  Sirius looked confused, but Rosmerta just winked nodded at him.

He grinned.  “She’ll be seventeen soon, too,” he added before wandering back to the table to join everyone there.

Max and Adrien had just walked up when Sirius joined them, moving around Adrien to slide in between Sam and Julia.  Lily watched Adrien’s face curiously, wondering if he had taken Julia’s earlier friendliness toward him as an indication something more was going to happen.  It wasn’t.  Lily could see that much.  She shook her head passively at Julia, who didn’t notice, for her eyes were only on Sirius Black.

 “I tried to get a Firewhiskey off her,” he explained, gesturing towards Rosmerta the barmaid.  “Unsuccessful.”

“Seventeen next month though, right,” Peter said as he, Remus, and James squeezed their way into the table.  James, Lily noticed, moved around Max to get next to her in the same manner that Sirius had done with Julia.

“Then you’re buying for all of us, right?” Sam teased. 

James and Remus laughed, and Sirius grinned wickedly.  “In that case, I’ll just be getting a bottle.”

“I’ve never had Firewhiskey,” admitted Julia.  “I’d like to get in on this bottle.”

“Done,” said Sirius with a grin.

“I _think_ I’ve had it before,” mused Sam. 

“How?” asked James curiously.  “No, really… how?”

“I think… last year at Slughorn’s do- “

“Oh, _yes_!” agreed Lily, suddenly remembering the tray of small glasses that had been passed around.  “Yes, we did.  I remember that now.”

“Slughorn was giving out _Firewhiskey_?” asked Remus incredulously.

Sam shrugged.  “It was his party, I think he thought it made him look really cool…you know how he likes to impress people.”

Sirius laughed loudly, it sounded like a bark.  “I’d have thought he would have something a bit classier.”

“Firewhiskey’s classy,” said Max.  “He only got it out after some prodding.”

“If I remember, it was _you_ doing the prodding,” Lily said pointedly as James handed her a butterbeer.  “What do I owe you?”

“Nothing,” said James.

“Come on.”

“No, I said nothing!  It’s a butterbeer, it’s on me. Hang on, I see Robb and I need to catch him about us having the pitch tomorrow,” he said, setting down his drink and darting off after Robb Alexander.

“It _may_ have been me doing the prodding for him to let us drink it, but it was his idea to get it out and taunt us with it in the first place,” Max mumbled, eyeing the butterbeer in Lily’s hand.  “You sure you want to drink that, Lils?”

“Yes,” Lily replied.  “Why not?”

Max shrugged and looked at Adrien.  “Potter’s always after you… maybe he slipped something in it.”

“ _Oi_ ,” protested Sirius, looking at Remus and Peter to back him up.  “Prongs isn’t like that.”

“What are you on about?” asked Sam with a frown.  “You jealous again?”

“ _Jealous_ ,” scoffed Max, glaring back at her.  “There’s nothing for me to be jealous of.”

“This table is awfully crowded,” Remus mused, looking over his shoulder at Max and Adrien. 

“It is,” agreed Lily, taking a long, pointed sip of the butterbeer. 

Max shrugged, pursing his lips as he watched her drink.  “Just haven’t seen much of you, Lils… thought we might like to head over to Zonko’s or the Shack for a bit.  You could come; I could help you with your Transfiguration.”

“She doesn’t need help,” laughed James as he returned to the table. 

“Or if I do, I can ask McGonagall,” said Lily, with a shrug.  “We can catch up some other time.”

Max made a face, looking at Adrien who shrugged.  “It is crowded.  I’ll see you later, Julia?”

“Sure,” Julia nodded brightly as they walked away.  Lily saw her mouth, _don’t hold your breath_ , right after they walked away and smirked to herself.

Rosmerta came over then, walking directly to where Julia and Sirius were sitting.  Sirius was grinning wildly, and Julia looked confused as the barmaid gave them both a conspiratorially amused look. 

“All right, Sirius… but only because I owe you,” she said very quietly as she sat down two small glasses of light amber colored liquor in front of them.

Sirius’ smile was brilliant. “Thanks, Rosie,” he said, looking at Julia for approval. 

Julia flushed a little bit.  “Thank you,” she said quietly to Rosmerta, who gave her a wink before walking away.  Julia took a look at the glass in front of her, picking it up and smelling it.  She quirked an eyebrow at Sirius who smirked at her.  “You said you wanted to try it.”

“I did say that,” Julia replied, fighting a grin as she clinked her glass against Sirius’ and downed the drink in one gulp.  She shuddered, coughing a little as Sirius laughed and put his arm around her again.  Lily just shook her head at the pair of them.

“What was that?” Remus asked Sam.

“That was Sirius weaseling Firewhiskey out of the barmaid because he’s a flirt,” she replied with a smirk.

“No, not that,” scoffed Remus.  “Max… what was that rubbish about a love potion?”

Sam rolled her eyes.  “You don’t want to know.”

“ _I_ do,” said Lily.  “Max has been ridiculous this year.  He’s not usually like that.  What’s- “

“I told you on the train; he’s started fancying you,” Julia said bluntly.  “I think he started last year, but something must have happened over the summer that lit a fire under him.  I suspect it was Potter’s letters.”

“I only wrote to him because I figured he’d want Evans back at school and would tell her she belonged,” James replied, looking irritated. “I didn’t tell him to start _stalking_ her.”

“If that’s the case, you only have yourself to blame, James.  He sees you as competition.  I told you all of this on the train,” Julia said to Lily.  “Before he was just worried Lily would fail Transfiguration, _now_ he’s worried Potter is going to slip you a love potion.”

“ _Why_?” scoffed Lily, glancing at James quickly before turning back to Julia.  “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” asked Julia, looking at James.  “I mean, the recipe is right in our potions book; it wouldn’t be hard to do.”

“I reckon he thinks that because Prongs has spent the last year pining after you,” said Peter, ignoring the glare James shot in his direction.  “Am I wrong?  It’s been that long, hasn’t it?”

“Longer,” said Sirius thoughtfully, grinning at the glare James threw him.  “Don’t you glare at me, everyone knows it’s true; there’s no use in pretending as though you haven’t asked her out in front of throngs of people before.”

James continued to glare, then with a quick glance at Lily (who seemed more concerned about why someone thought he’d slip her a love potion) he shrugged in agreement. 

“No, not that… but why?  _Why_ would he do that?  Why would _anyone_ do that?” Lily asked Sam.

“Mary was the one talking about this.  Didn’t she tell you it was going around?” Sam asked.

Julia and Lily glanced at each other, Julia sitting up straighter in her chair.  “ _No_ … this is something being talked about?  As in, gossiped about around school?”  Julia asked.  Sam nodded in agreement.  “She hasn’t told us a _thing_!” Julia shouted indignantly.

“Oh, where is that girl?” Lily asked, cheeks flushed as she jumped up from her chair.  “I saw her come in here...”

“She’s over there, by the bar,” said Peter, pointing over Sirius’ head to where Mary was sitting with Marlene McKinnon and Court Huffton.  Lily mumbled angrily under her breath and weaved her way through the crowd over to where Mary was sitting while the rest of them turned back to Sam for more information.

“Let me make sure I have this right,” said James.  “There’s a rumor going about that I’m slipping Evans a love potion… and _that’s_ why she’s- “

“Being nice to you,” finished Sam.  “Yes, that’s the rumor.  Because love potions counter hate, and she just as well hated you last term, or at least that’s what everyone thought.”

“People are so thick; she didn’t _hate_ him.  She’s never _hated_ him,” Julia replied, rolling her eyes. “You piss her right off sometimes with that bullying nonsense- “

“I don’t hex anyone that doesn’t deserve it,” James mumbled. 

“What you qualify as ‘ _deserving_ _it’_ doesn’t always mean much,” laughed Sam.  “Remember that horrible hex you put on Aubrey that made his head swell up?  He didn’t deserve that,” she said disapprovingly.  James looked sheepish for a moment until Sam continued.  “Anyway, that’s the rumor.”

“Right.  Because Evans could _never_ like me without some help,” James grumbled, messing with his hair before folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them.

Julia looked half amused.  “Is this… is… Does that upset you, Potter?  That people are spreading rumors about you and they aren’t good or funny?” she teased.  “Where’s all that _bravado_?  Where’s that confidence?  You know you’re not going to use a potion to get her so why’s it bother you?”

Sirius chuckled, giving James a knowing look.  “How do you feel about _Felix Felicis_ now, Prongs?”

“I think he’s a right arse,” James muttered.

Sam looked confused.  “Lucky potion?  What- “

“She didn’t tell us because she assumed we knew,” Lily explained to Julia, walking back to their table and taking her seat next to James.  “She thought we’d heard, was pretty shocked that _I_ hadn’t since its about me.  Her defense for not telling us was that we told her we didn’t like all the gossiping, so she was ‘ _trying to keep it down_.’”

Julia laughed.  “Only with you!  She was _more_ than happy to spread all kinds of rumors about us,” she added, gesturing towards Sirius and herself.

Sirius chuckled lightly, looking Julia over again as he leaned back in his chair.  “Speaking of that… care to get that show on the road?”

Lily and Sam both laughed, but Julia rolled her eyes. “See this?  This is why you’re boring,” she said flatly, looking sadly at Sirius.  “You know damn well I’m not going to snog you here, with McGonagall over there, and Slughorn there, and Sprout by the door, and all these damn Aurors about.  It’s just like the Library.  You bring it up in the weirdest places so you can _avoid_ it.”

The legs of Sirius’ chair slammed down on the floor as he sat up straight, fixated on Julia with a strange expression.  James sniggered.  “You’re like a pointer dog.”

“Hunting down its prey,” added Remus.

“I’m prey, now?  Are you going to eat me?” asked Julia sarcastically.

“I’m sure it could be arranged,” Sirius said. 

She smirked.  “Then arrange it.”

“Done,” he nodded, as though they’d just decided on something.  He and Julia continued to stare each other down, with James and Remus sniggering at them and Peter looking between the two as though he was trying to decide who would strike first.

 “Sam,” Lily continued, ignoring the pair of them.  “Where did you first hear this love potion rumor?”

“Just around,” Sam admitted.  “Everyone has been whispering about it… I’m really no better than anyone else.”

“Yes, you are,” replied three voices at once.  Lily looked up at Remus first, smiling when she saw the concern in his face, then at James, who seemed incredulous at the thought of Sam thinking she was no better than anyone else.

Sam looked pleased, her cheeks flushed a little and she looked up at Remus with a smile.  He blushed and turned away.  Lily pressed on.  “When I asked Mary about it, Court interrupted me and he said he didn’t hear it was _Potter_ specifically; he just heard _someone_ was planning to do it.”

Sam frowned.  “Well, now that I think about it, it wasn’t specific.  I’m sure Max just assumed it would be James because… well, you know.  Plus, like I said, he’s jealous.”

“What’s he got to be jealous of?” scoffed James. 

“Yeah, Potter and I have barely spoken for a month,” Lily agreed, giving James a pointed look.  To her pleasure, he looked a little sheepish when she pointed it out.

“Yeah, _what_ was going on there?” asked Julia, breaking the staring contest with Sirius.  “The lot of you went from being normal to barely speaking to her after the first week.  What gives?”

Sirius’ eyes moved from James, to Remus, to Peter, to Lily in a matter of seconds.  James even glanced at Lily a little uncomfortably.  Remus began to go pale, but Lily spoke before Julia noticed any of this.

“I think they were still hacked off I tried to give them a detention,” she replied.  “I told you this.”

“Oh, that’s right, because they were sneaking about by the kitchen again,” Julia remembered.  “Why’d you get so upset about that?”

“It’s just food,” grumbled Sirius, jumping into ease with the story.  “I was the one leading the charge against her, remember?” he admitted, giving Lily a slightly guilty smile.  “Prongs was all for forgiving her right away… but I told him she needed to learn a lesson.”

Peter laughed, and James smiled a bit while Remus rolled his eyes.  Lily’s eyes narrowed.  “A lesson, eh?”

“Yes, did you learn it? Moony’s never given us detentions because he’s our friend.  This is a perk of being friends with The Marauders: you don’t give us detentions, we won’t hex you.”

“I’m not the least bit afraid of your hexes,” Lily replied haughtily.  “I can hold my own.”

“Speaking of holding your own,” James interjected, draining the rest of his butterbeer, “and teaching you a lesson, care to join me on the Quidditch pitch, Evans?  I can show you my broomstick.”

Lily choked on her butterbeer, having completely forgotten her earlier comment to James about all the broomstick references he could make.  She swallowed hard, looking over to see him gleefully staring at her. 

Julia laughed out loud.  “Did she _ask_ to see it?”

“More or less,” said James.  “She told me I looked like one, so I figure she should see a proper one to be able to tell the difference.”

“I’ve never asked to be shown your broomstick,” Lily said, fighting a laugh.

 “But you agreed that you can’t fly well.  So how ‘bout it?  I _did_ promise you flying lessons.”

“ _Now_?” asked Lily, looking a little wary. 

“Sure, now.  I mean… we’ve cleared my name of trying to slip you a love potion.  I’ve fulfilled your expectation for a cheeky comment.  I think now is as good a time as- “

“It’s windy,” said Lily looking towards the door.  Her face was slightly pale and she’d begun tapping the table nervously with her fingers.  “It’s kind of windy, and it’s a bit chilly so- “

“I’ve got a cloak you can borrow,” James offered.  “And it’s not that windy. I’ve flown in much worse.”

“Yes, but you’re a good flyer.”

“ _Evans_ ,” Sirius laughed, taking the cap from his butterbeer and flicking it in her direction.  Without a single flinch she caught it in one hand, shooting Julia a worried look before setting it down.  “It’s just a little wind.”

“C’mon,” said James, taking Lily by the hand and pulling her towards the door.  They had just gotten outside when James’ friends queued up behind them, Julia alongside Sirius.  “What happened to Pitchfield?” James asked Remus when he noticed he was alone.

“She says she has Charms work and needed to find Flitwick,” Remus explained as they walked.  “Said she’d see us later maybe.” 

“We’re _all_ going?” asked Lily.  “Oh, this is just _grand_.”

“I’m curious to see if this is going to go as bad as you make it sound, Evans,” Sirius admitted.

“She’s awful,” laughed Julia.  “Seriously… I don’t think you’ve been on a broom since first year, have you?”

“I have… in third year.  Max dragged me out here to- “

James scoffed, still holding on to Lily’s hand, which he was surprised she hadn’t pulled from his grasp.  “Linghold is _not_ who you want to be taking lessons from.”

“He flies well enough during Quidditch,” Lily replied defensively.

James pursed his lips, thinking that before this year Lily and Linghold had always been friendly.  And he was the one who was worried about James slipping something in her drink.   It was obvious that he had started fancying her, Julia was right about that.  He grimaced, stomach knotting uncomfortably.  “He flies well for a beater,” he muttered.  “Watch him on the pitch, do you?”

“No more than I watch you,” she said.  “Why the tone? What’ve you got to be jealous of?  You’re the one out here holding my hand.”

James fought back a grin.  “Nothing.  Not jealous.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lily asked, finally pulling her hand from this.  “I’m awful, Julia’s right.”

“Flying is an important skill, Evans,” James asserted.  “Being able to hop on a broom and just fly out the window could save your life someday.  Besides, we won’t learn apparition ‘till spring and if you want to visit me over Holiday- “

“I can’t even afford an owl, what makes you think I’m going to go run off and buy a broomstick?” asked Lily with a laugh.  “Aside from the fact that I _can’t have one_ since I’m am underage muggle-born-”

“You’ll be of age in January,” said James, waving her off. 

It took them less than ten minutes to walk from Hogsmeade to the Quidditch Pitch.  James half wondered if another team would be having practice, but since it was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year the pitch was completely empty.

“Here we are!” he announced, tapping the lock on the broom shed with his wand and digging around for his broom.  He pulled out his Nimbus 1700, it was the latest model Lily knew that much.  Peter stared at in in awe when James held it up for Lily’s inspection. 

“It says ‘ _racing broom’_ ” she muttered.

“Of course, it does,” laughed James.  “What else would it say?”

“There aren’t any … normal brooms?” she asked as Julia and Sirius came forward to grab some out of the shed. Remus and Peter were right behind them.  Lily shuffled to the side to allow them past.

James followed her, tilting his head.  “You’re _really_ scared of this, aren’t you?  I thought you were joking.”

“I’m not _scared_ ,” Lily said defensively.  “Not scared… It’s just… last time I literally kicked off, then lost my balance right away and fell over.  When I tried again, I think I made it once around the pitch before I lost it.”  She looked up at James, who was looking at her with a bewildered expression.  “Max couldn’t help but laugh, so I hexed him and left and now everyone’s here and it’s just going to happen again… _I can’t fly_!”

Lily chewed her lip and folded her arms over her chest, scuffing at the ground with her shoe.  James looked up, watching the rest of their friends circle the pitch.  Julia was laughing as Sirius tried to balance standing on his broom while Remus dived at him.  Peter was just hovering close by watching.  James looked back at Lily who was also watching, her expression fretful.

He threw his leg over the broom, circled the shed once very low to the ground, then came up beside her.  “Come here,” he said, taking her hand again and pulling her on the broom on front of him.  “Put your hands here, I’m going to help you steer.”

“This is a bad idea,” she muttered, allowing him to put his hands over hers.  He rested his chin on her shoulder, draping himself over her like a blanket.  His chest was pressed warmly against her back and Lily realized she was shaking.  She didn’t know whether it was from closeness or from nerves.  Potter smelled like the woods – earthy, sweet, and warm. 

“Evans, I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he promised in a low voice against her ear.  She shuddered again.  “Don’t you trust me?”

Lily looked over her shoulder at him.  His hair fluttered in the wind and his eyes were soft and sincere. Her heart made a swooping noise in her chest, but she caught it before she escaped.    “Yes,” she breathed after a beat of silence.

She recognized this feeling, though she’d never felt it like _this_ before.  Petunia said it was like butterflies, Julia said it was a pull.  Lily felt it as a swoop down to the pit of her stomach than a huge lift.

Of course, the feeling could have come from James deciding that that was the perfect moment to kick off into the air.  The broom rose fast; ten, twenty, thirty feet up.  Lily squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring James’ light laugh as they rose.  The wind whipped around them, and he looped an arm around her waist.  She opened her eyes to see him looking at her with an expression so intense she blushed.

James thought to himself that this couldn’t have been a more perfect moment for a kiss.  She was so warm against him, flowery smelling hair whipping around his face.  He fought against the urge to press his mouth against hers like he’d wanted too for so long, his father’s words coming unbidden to his mind.  “ _Never kiss someone that doesn’t want it just as much as you._ ” 

Lily’s expression was soft, but wary, and James had no way of telling if she wanted him to kiss her… save for asking.  He wasn’t going to ask thirty feet in the air and risk getting smacked off his broom.

“You all right?” he did ask after a minute, jolting her out of the reverie she had apparently drifted into. 

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.  “I think… this feels a lot steadier than I remember.”

“Were you on Max’s broom?” he asked.  James grinned when she nodded.  “He’s got a Cleansweep.  They’re not bad, but they can be unsteady.  This one is better.  Lean forward, you’ll see.”

Lily did as she was bidden, leaning forward and inhaling sharply as the broom began to speed up.  James chuckled, removing his hands from overtop hers to rest them on her waist.  “Shift your weight this way to turn,” he said, putting pressure on one hip to get her to lean into the curve of the pitch as they approached it.

“Told you he was a good flyer!” Sirius shouted as they approached.  He launched another butterbeer cap in their direction, expecting James to catch it but Lily grabbed it instead.  She threw it back at him and sped up as they flew passed. 

“What was that?” asked James with a laugh as they went around another curve. 

“He’s the one who threw it,” Lily replied, her eyes fixed ahead of her as she leaned forward to go a bit faster. 

“You caught that!” he shouted.  “You caught that - straight out of the air - and threw it back at him.”  Lily shrugged as though this was not some stupendous feat.  “You know… I still need a backup Seeker.  Parsons left last year and not many people tried out for it.”

Lily roared with laughter, the sound made James grin uncontrollably.  “I’m _not_ trying out for Quidditch… I can’t even fly a broom by myself.”

“You’re flying,” said James.  “I haven’t done anything to help you the last three laps.  I think in fact I’m going to get off and let you do it alone.”

“That doesn’t sound like much fun.”

“ _What_?” asked James incredulously.  She stifled a laugh, her cheeks flushing pink.  “Your cheek is going to get you in trouble one of these days.”

“It already has,” she replied darkly, scrunching up her face.  “Do you want to get off?”

“Well… if you’re offering,” James teased, laughing when she glowered back at him, red faced and fighting a laugh.  “Sit up a bit to brake and push down to bring us lower.”

Lily did as she was told and James hopped off the broom, still keeping a hand at her back.  She moved to get off as well, but he stopped her.  “What’re you doing?”

Lily stammered.  “I was going to… I’ll grab one from the- “

“Rubbish, use this.  _I’ll_ grab one from the shed,” he said, pushing her forward and grabbing a broom that was just behind him.

“But his one’s yours,” Lily called as he jumped on the other broom and raced off.  She stayed still as he flipped around suddenly, looping in a fancy pattern as he made his way back to her. 

“Show off _,”_ she muttered.

“What’s mine is yours, Evans,” James replied back.  “Always has been!”  And with that he flipped over and raced towards a laughing Sirius.  Lily shook her head, feeling herself shake on the broom again, but she gathered her confidence and kicked off, leaning forward to fly in a straight line towards where Julia was hovering next to Peter.

“You didn’t fall off!” she laughed excitedly.  “Congratulations!”

“Shut up!” Lily laughed, leaning to turn and feeling a little more comfortable – at last – on the seat of a broom.

* * *

 

[Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/r9rezlbbgjryovdldbc0qo8xa/playlist/1y0OGSm7K6emRsLA4NMvRQ) if anyone is interested 


	8. Interrogations

**Interrogations**   
**Song stuck in my head: One of These Nights – The Eagles**

* * *

 

As Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, it was James’ job to make sure each position was covered by a capable player with back-ups in case of illness (which happened rarely) or injury (which happened often).  While a few of the people on his team, Sirius among them, had been playing a while and could switch positions easily, it wasn’t the most ideal situation.  James _could_ play Seeker if necessary, but he was better at Chasing and would rather find a back-up Seeker for Emmett Greenfield than an additional Chaser.  There hadn’t been many people who tried out for Seeker. Everyone thought it was one of the boring positions, but it was vitally important that a Seeker have keen sight and a quick hands.  Emmett Greenfield exemplified all the qualities of a good Seeker.

Surprisingly, so did Lily Evans. 

After that day at the pitch, James began randomly pulling out his snitch and tossing it at Lily.  Each time, she deftly caught it out of air with minimal effort.  Sometimes all he had to do was say “Hey, Evans!” and she’d hold up her hand and catch it without even giving him a sideways glance.  It was this that made James decide that _she_ should be his backup Seeker, and a different kind of relentless pursuit had begun. 

He asked her first after they left the pitch during the first Hogsmeade visit.  Then, he started asking each morning at breakfast, and in class, and during the evenings when they hung out in the common room.  He asked when he happened to catch her in the halls between classes, and he yelled it at her out the window when he saw her walking to Care of Magical Creatures every Thursday.  It was not only to try and get her to play for the team, it became an excuse to talk to her each day, either in person or through notes they would write back and forth.

“ _Honestly, I preferred it when you asked me out constantly_ ,” Lily scribbled on a note.  “ _I’m **not. Playing**. **Quidditch**_.”

She dropped the note on the floor, coaxing it diagonally towards James’ seat with her wand.  He stretched his long arms over his head, then down to his left, and his right, then surreptitiously grabbed the note to read.  They’d been doing this since the start of Charms class, as it was an easy one to pass notes in.  Especially today since the objective was the freezing charm, and there were spinning tops flying in all directions or freezing then falling over loudly.  It was very distracting, and no one noticed the pieces of paper sliding across the floor.

“ _You could ride my broomstick again_ ,” the next note replied.

“You know, I think he may have something else in mind when he says that,” Julia giggled. 

“Only if it was meant for you,” Lily replied, frowning disapprovingly at Julia.  “You didn’t show up for breakfast _again_ this morning.”

“I’m realizing that,” mumbled Julia, rubbing her stomach.  “I’m starving.”

“Black not enough to keep you satisfied?” asked Mary with a smirk.

“Who said anything about Sirius?” asked Julia.  “Perhaps I wasn’t with him.”

“Who were you with then?”

“Maybe I _was_ with him, but he was helping me with Transfiguration, or maybe I was up there alone,” she shrugged, keeping up with the same story they’d both been telling everyone.

“Alone…” Lily said skeptically.  She didn’t know what to think anymore.  Were they, or weren’t they?  Why did it matter so much? 

“Or Transfiguration,” Julia shrugged.  “I still can’t figure out what the Hell is going on.”

“Neither can we,” Lily muttered, ignoring the look Julia gave her.

“Nonverbal spells only, _please_!” Flitwick’s light voice called.  “Come on boys, let’s see it then,” he added, as he walked by where James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus were sitting. 

“How are you still confused in Transfiguration? I thought Sirius was ‘ _helping’_ you,” whispered Lily, leaning closer to Julia to avoid being caught by Flitwick.

“He would be helping me… if either us could get a word in,” grinned Julia.  Lily quirked an eyebrow and Julia shook her head.  “I’m _not_ shagging him, you know that.”

“I know that,” whispered Lily.  “But what _are_ you doing?  What is going on?”

“Snogging.  Just… snogging.  He’s … we’re not a _thing_ ; you know I don’t have boyfriends.  I mean… he can very sweet but – hello, what’s this?” Julia exclaimed, grabbing another note from the air as it floated by. She read over the paper and laughed, showing it to Mary before handing it over to Lily.

“Better cast your little muffle charm.  They can hear us,” she chuckled, glancing over her shoulder in Sirius’ direction. 

Lily twirled her wand, flicking it nonchalantly while concentrating on the spell she’d stolen from Snape last year.  It _did_ come in handy, no matter who made it up.  James and the others looked confused when all the sound coming from where Lily and her friends were sitting suddenly vanished.  Lily smirked, then turned back to see Julia reading the note again.

“Potter is still trying to get you out on the pitch,” Julia mused as she handed Lily the note.

 “Oh, I wish he’d get over that,” said Lily, glancing at the note to read it.  The first bit at the top belonged to Sirius. 

“’ _Tottle_ , _I **am** helping you, and we only snog because_ _you told me the library was not an appropriate place to show you my broomstick.  If you ask nicely, I will help you with your transfiguration in that empty classroom on the first floor…_ ’ Do I even want to know what he means by that?” asked Lily, rolling her eyes at Julia’s wicked grin.  She continued reading.

“’ _Evans_ , _even if you don’t play, I think it prudent we continue flying lessons so you’re comfortable on a broom.  And besides, you still haven’t shown me anything about those Thestrals.  Or asked me any questions_ …’”

Lily smiled, scribbling a response on the piece of paper.  “What sort of questions are you supposed to be asking him?” asked Mary curiously. 

“I dunno,” Lily shrugged.  “I’m sure he wants me to be _interested_ in him and ask all kinds of questions about what he _likes_ or how _smart_ he is,” she continued, rolling her eyes.

“Or maybe he wants you to actually get to _know_ him?” suggested Julia.

Lily pursed her lips.  “I already know him, don’t I?  He’s James Potter… he’s top of our class Quidditch hero.  What else is there?”

Julia made a face.  “You know there’s a lot more than that,” she frowned at Lily, watching her wave her wand and send the piece of paper floating over to where the boys were.

James snatched the piece of paper out of the air, reading Lily’s response before shoving it in his pocket. Max snorted from next the table next to them. “Still trying to get a backup Seeker?” he asked.  “You’ll need a Chaser if you don’t start worrying about the Bludgers heading your way,” he added haughtily, freezing his top perfectly in place.

“I’ll worry about the Bludgers when you can _hit_ them,” James muttered, flicking his wand and removing the charm on Max’s top.  It spun wildly and clattered to the floor.  “Prat,” James grumbled under his breath.

“ _I’m_ a _prat_?” Max shot back before narrowing his eyes.  “I’m not sneaking around next to Evans at breakfast and slipping her love potions!” he hissed in a conspiratorial voice.

“What the _Hell_?” asked Sirius, turning around to glare at Max.  “What the fuck are you on about?”

“Yeah,” James agreed.  “Why do you think I’m slipping her potions?”

Max opened his mouth to speak, but then the bell rang and everyone began to gather their things.  Sirius and James waited, surreptitiously watching Lily and her friends leave the classroom before they looked back at Max, who’d been doing the same thing.

“She _barely_ spoke to you last year, now you talk every day? How _else_ do you explain the sudden change of heart?”

“Yeah, she hated you end of last year,” agreed Bertram as he got up from his seat.  “It was no secret, everyone knew about it.  And now suddenly she’s with you at Hogsmeade, and you’re talking to her at dinner-

“We live in the same house, we’re in all the same classes… why wouldn’t she talk to me?” said James defensively.  “What makes you think she’s fond of either you gits?” he scoffed as they walked to the hallway.

“I’ve been friends with Lily Evans since fourth year.  She wrote back to me over the summer,” Bertram announced as though this made him special.

“Me as well,” Max added, eyeing Bertram with a curious expression.  “She’s in the Slug Club with us, and – “

“ _Slug Club_ ,” scoffed James.  “No idea what Slughorn sees in you, but I guarantee it doesn’t matter to Evans.  And if that was the reason she was friends with you, why isn’t she hanging round – “

“You aren’t even on a first name basis with her,” Max sneered.  “You just call each other by your last names.  She calls _me_ ‘Max;’ she actually says my name.”

James felt a surge of jealousy, but swallowed it and pushed past Max and walked down the hall, having no desire to keep up this conversation.  To James’ annoyance, Max and Adrien followed him and Sirius down the hall.

“Keep pretending, Potter,” Max called.  “She said it last year… she’ll never go out with you.  I bet I’ve a better chance of getting in her knickers than you have of even getting a date!”

“Especially considering who she hangs out with,” muttered, grinning when Sirius glowered over his shoulder at him.  “You should know, Black… if you want to get tripped up over Tottleham,” he said, flicking his wand, “I’ve been there, and done that… and I taught her a bit more than Transfiguration…”

James dodged the streak of light, but the jinx hit Sirius and flipped him onto his back in the middle of the floor. James whirled around, fingernails digging into his palms as he moved toward the cluster of Raveclaws, but Sirius leapt to his feet and pushed around James, expression livid. He whipped his wand straight at Adrien and a flash of red shot out the end.  It hit Adrien square in the chest and he doubled over, vomiting a torrent of slugs into the hall.

Other students passing by began groaning, some laughing hysterically as Max pulled Adrien aside and glowered at Sirius, who had a wolfish grin on his face.  Max pulled his wand from his robes, pointing it right in Sirius’ face.  James reacted.

“ _Expelliarmus_!”

Max’s wand popped into the air and flew behind him.  He dove around Adrien to get it while Bertram stepped in front of them, glaring at Sirius and James both.  “For having such over inflated egos - “

“’Over inflated?’” asked James with a laugh. “I think you cornered the market on that once already, Aubrey, remember?”  He flicked his wand casually at Bertram, who dropped his wand and gripped the sides of his head. 

Students began giggling and pointing; Sirius was laughing loudly.  Bertram stumbled and lost his balance, falling into the path of Adrien’s next bought of slug vomiting.  The entire hallway roared with laughter.  Peter had caught up and joined laughing while Remus turned away and walked down the hall in the opposite direction.

A loud “ _SNAP_ ” cut through the sound of laughter.  There was a flash of light and Adrien fell to his knees, heaving in deep breaths of air as the vomiting ceased.  A second later, there was a popping sound and Bertram’s head returned to normal and he yelped in relief. 

James looked over to see Lily with her wand out, looking from where he and Sirius were standing to where Bertram was leaning against the wall and Adrien was kneeling still trying to catch his breath.    Her face was flushed red and her eyes were bright green and furious.  Sirius and James began to back away, then Max reappeared, his face almost as livid as Lily’s.

“ _Black_!” he growled, staring angrily at Sirius.  “ _Furnun_ \- “

Another “ _CRACK_ ” echoed through the hall and Max ducked to avoid the light from his own jinx as it bounced off an invisible barrier.  He stood up straight and looked over to where Lily was standing.

Lily, took a few steps forward, her wand still out.  “You _idiots_!  Are you- “

“ _NO MAGIC IN THE CORRIDORS_!” the voice of Professor McGonagall roared.  Everyone froze and the laughter died instantly. Lily stood with her wand still extended. James, Max, and Sirius were all trying to stow theirs away in their robes. 

McGonagall rounded on Lily first.  “Ms. Evans, I’m _ashamed_ \- “

Lily blanched. “I was trying to stop- “

“You know the rules, Ms. Evans: no _magic_ in the halls,” McGonagall growled, looking around at the crowd of students.  “Detention, all of six of you.” 

Max balked.  “ _They started it_!”

“ _LIAR_!” Sirius roared.

“It doesn’t matter, you had every intention of keeping it going, Mr. Linghold,” McGonagall muttered disapprovingly.  “Hardly the behavior I expected from _two_ Prefects.”

James blanched.  “Evans wasn’t _hexing!_ She was trying to- “

“ _Silence_ ,” she snapped, throwing a look at James.  “You three, see me after class,” she said, gesturing toward the Gryffindors, “And you three, this afternoon I’ll get to you.  Everyone else, move along.  Clear out!” she demanded, waving her hands as the students who’d gathered began to disperse. 

Lily stowed her wand and hitched her bag higher on her shoulder.  James noticed the redness in her cheeks had spread to her ears and neck now.  Julia was standing by a statue of armor shaking her head while she stared at Adrien with narrowed eyes.  James saw him frown a little before helping Bertram to his feet.  Sirius scoffed and walked off towards the classroom.  Max and James looked at each other, then looked at Lily’s retreating figure, and started running after her at the same time.

“She was bang out of order, Evans,” called James.

“You never change, Potter.  _You’re_ bang out of order!” Max hissed under his breath before calling to Lily.  “Lily, I was only trying to get him to knock off giving you-”

“I’m not giving her _anything_ you smarmy little- “

“Oh, shut up, you _twits_!” Lily shouted, flicking her wand at the two of them.  James stopped up short, feeling as though he was choking or that his tongue got stuck against the roof of his mouth.   He looked to Max who was making a similar, uncomfortable expression as he tried to continue talking.  He finally pulled a face and walked off in the opposite direction, slamming hard into Sirius as he ran up to join James.

“ _Finite_! _Finite Incantatem_!” Sirius said forcefully, flourishing his wand at James.  It was no use.  “What’d she hit you with?” he asked, as James continued to sputter wordlessly.  The bell rang, and Sirius dragged an uncomfortable James into the Transfiguration classroom.  Once inside, they sat down, and James crossed his arms over his chest and brooded silently for the next hour and a half. 

When the bell rang again, Sirius and Remus both tried to get the jinx off James, but it was no use.  He tried to get Lily’s attention as she passed by him on the way to McGonagall’s desk, but she either didn’t notice his flailing or was so angry she decided to ignore it.  Remus and Peter just shrugged at James and grimaced before leaving the room with the rest of the class, while Sirius and James waited for their detention assignments. 

McGonagall called Sirius up a moment later, leaving James to wait uncomfortably by his desk.  He put his books away and fiddled with his bag until he noticed Sirius coming back towards him.  They exchanged a weary glance before James walked up to McGonagall’s desk. 

She gave him a stern yet slightly amused look.  “Cat got your tongue, Potter?” She asked, watching James wordlessly sputter at her.  “ _Desistunt_!”

“ _Gah...”_ he sputtered, pulling faces to loosen his jaw and tongue.  “Th-thanks…”

McGonagall considered him thoughtfully.  “Your detention will be fixing the fifth years Transfiguration projects,” she said, gesturing to the pile of misshapen items behind her.

James looked confused.  “That’s it?”

“If you’d like more I expect I can drum up-”

“No, no! That’s… that’ll be quite good.”

“When you’re done with that, you’re free to go,” McGonagall said.  “I shall see you after your last period.”

James nodded and left the classroom, wondering what Lily and Sirius had been assigned to do.  None of them had spoken with McGonagall for very long, and it was the first time he’d gotten a detention where she hadn’t spent ten minutes yelling at him about being irresponsible and out of control. 

James found Sirius lurking around the corner outside the classroom. “You’re going to owe me,” he said, falling into step beside James.  “I chose to reorganize the cauldrons in the potions room.”

“You _what_?” 

“Got me out of doing something with Filch,” Sirius shrugged.  “McGonagall said it was cauldrons or visit Filch to rewrite those stupid discipline records cards,” he added rolling his eyes.  “But listen to this…   McGonagall asked why I hexed Adrien, and when I didn’t say anything, she said _Evans_ told her he actually jinxed first after he said something about Julia.  Evans said she only came back to take points from Rollingsfield anyway for ‘ _language_.’  She stood up for us.”

“Well, as glad as I am that she’s on our side, I’d still like to hex those idiots and this whole thing is bollocks.  I’m _not_ slipping… _ugh_ ,” he grumbled, not wanting to talk about it.  “This blows; it was our night to work on the map!”

“Woss that? Is little _Jamesy_ going to get _sleepy_ and need to go _night, night_?”  Sirius simpered, slinging his arms around James in a perfect imitation of Effie Potter.  “We can still work on it; I’ll be back before dark.  What’ve you got to do?”

“Fix the fifth years transfiguration projects,” he shrugged.  “Bunch of vanishing and turning mushrooms back to plates.  It’ll be easy.  What’s Evans got do?”

“Something with Hagrid she said when she caught me out here,” Sirius explained.  “You get done with yours early, I bet you could find out what she’s up to.  It’s not as though Hagrid will care.”

James grimaced a little.  “I dunno…  She called me a twit.  Maybe I should let her cool off…”

Sirius shrugged.  “You know, I reckon she’s not getting as angry as she used to at you, at least that’s what Julia says.”

“Speaking of Julia, how’s that going?” asked James.  “You’ve been up at the crack of dawn every day this week.”

Sirius shrugged, trying to hide a smirk.  “Oh, you know Tottle, she’s all talk most of the time.”

“So, the show’s _not_ on the road?”

“The show is in the early stages of rehearsal,” he said with a small grin.  James laughed and elbowed him hard as they began to run through the halls towards the gardens by the Herbology classroom.

The air had cooled off by the time James made his way down the path towards Hagrid’s hut.  His detention had been so easy that McGonagall looked as though she regretted giving it to him.  But she’d pursed her lips and sent him on his way after some questioning.

“I hear you were responding to an insult and, as Ms. Evans put it, ‘ _language_ ,’ rather than just picking this time,” she’d muttered when James finished turning the last mushroom back to a dinner plate. 

“Wha… er, yeah,” James had admitted. 

“Hmmm,” McGonagall murmured, looking at him over the edge of her spectacles.  “Ms. Evans also informed me that you and Mr. Black were simply inquiring about this rumor concerning love potions, and it was Mr. Rollingsfield who jinxed Mr. Black and decided to turn it into something rude,” she continued, watching as James nodded. “I don’t approve of your actions, but I can’t fault you for wanting to discern the truth to that story.”

“Er… thanks?” said James, feeling confused.

“But as a Professor _and_ your Head of House, I feel compelled to ask,” McGonagall continued, still looking at James sharply over her square rimmed glasses.  “You’re not-“

“ _No_ ,” James said emphatically.  “Absolutely not. Why- _why_ is this so easy for everyone to believe?  That I’d… slip Evans’-“

“Well, Potter, it’s well known you’re top of the class in every subject - including Potions - so it would be within your skills to brew a love potion, and it’s also well known that you’re not… accustomed to rejection, so to speak.  It’s obvious that you are… _fond_ … of Ms. Evans, so it’s naturally someone could come to the conclusion that-“

“I fancy her, yeah, but… love potions don’t even create real love.  And forcing someone to do what I want against their will?  That’s… it’s something a Death Eater would do,” he grumbled.

McGonagall continued her observation of him, permitting a small smile to cross her thin mouth.  “You… are correct in that observation, Mr. Potter.  Very well… off you go.”

“ _Excellent_ ,” James grinned, gathering his book bag and rushing toward the door.

“Might I suggest,” she’d called after him, waiting until he skidded to a stop before continuing.  “It would do you well to _listen_ to Ms. Evans a bit more… she is, after all, the reason you and Black aren’t scrubbing the candelabra or worse.  If you are so fond of her, the very least you could do would be to _listen_ to her.”

McGonagall had given him an all to knowing look then before retreating back into her office.  James vaguely wondered how much she knew about his crush on Evans and why she was suddenly so interested in the rumors flying about the castle. 

James’ thoughts drifted wistfully to the last full moon as he got closer to Hagrid’s hut, remembering how they’d finally made it to the deep part of the forest straight behind it.  The map was all set now.  The whole castle had been mapped out, and now all the grounds as well, but they still hadn’t figured out how to tag people and that’s all they had been working on as of late. 

Peter had been copying the map to numerous pieces of parchment, because they would inevitably screw up the tracking charms somehow.  James had been loath to discover how complicated tracking spells were, and he’d been spending a disturbing amount of time in the library with Remus trying to figure them out.  The four of them decided to dedicate an entire afternoon and evening to trying several out, but detention had kind of put a damper on that. 

Though, the sun _was_ still up, and there were still many hours left in the day, and the evening got long.  And James wasn’t that tired… it wouldn’t be any trouble to stay up late or pull an all-nighter. 

_I could go help Moony right now_ , he thought, pausing his walk to consider his options. 

But just then, by the fences, Lily Evan’s red hair appeared.  She’d pulled it into a ponytail high at the crown of her head, and he could tell even at this distance that she was smiling.  She laughed brightly at something, and all thoughts of Moony and the library went out of James’ head and his body moved forward almost of its own accord.

“You know, Evans,” he called when he came around Hagrid’s little house, “you got me out of scrubbing the candelabra.  I expect I owe… you… now,” he said, trailing off and slowing to a stop when she turned to look at him.  Her hands were covered in blood.

“Wha… what are you doing?” James asked, alarmed.

“I could ask the same thing of you,” she said brightly, flicking blood off her hands.  Some of it spattered onto a white cloth she’d tied around her waist.  “Did you have fun with the mushrooms?”

“As much fun as one can have with mushrooms,” James shrugged, still looking at her with an alarmed expression.  “Seriously, though… what _are_ you doing?”

“Well, _you_ actually gave me the idea with your little note,” Lily explained.  “McGonagall told me to go see Hagrid for something, so I came down here and asked about the Thestrals.”

“Ah, I see,” James replied.  “Why the blood?”

“They like raw meat,” she said, gesturing to a bucket of raw steak by her feet.  “I’ve been making food for them.”

“Tasteful,” James grimaced.  “Are… are they here?”

“Hagrid went to get a few, but he told me if I just stand here any that are close to the edge of the forest would come up.”

James peered behind her into the trees, trying to see… anything.  The forest looked as it usually did; dark, mysterious, and full of trees.  “So… you can see them…”

Lily nodded.  “Thought I was going mad at first, ask Julia about it sometime.  I grabbed her arm and started asking what that ‘ _thing’_ was and no one else could see them.  It went on for weeks.  I’d see them at the edge of the forest sometimes and have a fit, but _no one_ knew what I was talking about.  I finally went to Madam Pomfrey and –“

“Pomfrey?  Why’d you go to Pomfrey?”

“Because I thought I had _lost_ it,” she admitted with a laugh.  “I thought I was going mad.”

“Evans,” James scolded. “Why would you think you’re mad?”

Lily shrugged.  “No one else had any clue what I was on about, and my dad _had_ just died, so… I thought perhaps I was having a breakdown.”

James frowned, remembering what Hagrid had told him about the animals: that only people who had seen death could see them.  “You should have just asked Hagrid.  That’s what I did.  I figured if it’s magical, and it’s an animal…“

“That he’d know about it,” Lily finished for him.  She smiled a little.  “You’re probably right; I never even thought about asking him.  Oh, here they come…”

James looked toward the trees, watching the branches sway and part in odd directions. He could hear the crunching of leaves, but he couldn’t _see_ anything.  He frowned.  “I’ve _known_ people who have died… my granddad… why can’t-“

“Yeh ‘ave to ‘ave _seen_ the death,” Hagrid’s voice said from behind him.  “All righ’, James?”  He smiled, grinning when James nodded.  “Was wonderin’ if you’d given Lily here the idea.”

“Other way around actually; she gave _me_ the idea,” James admitted.  “She told me something was pulling the carriages and I said I didn’t think a Thestral was real, so she told me to look it up.  Thought I’d come to you before I hit the library.”

Hagrid laughed.  “Yeh, they’re real.  Don’ cover ‘em until sixth year, usually.  Professor Kettleburn should bring ‘em up.” 

He tossed Lily a piece of steak.  She was staring at a space just behind a fence post with a curious expression on her face.  She lifted the raw meat and James watched (a little alarmed) as it was pulled from her hand then chewed up by this invisible animal. 

“Yeh can’ pet ‘em… go on,” Hagrid encouraged her.  “They’re real gentle most o’the time.” 

Lily reached up her hand and slid it down in a diagonal line.  James assumed she was petting the thestral’s neck, but as he couldn’t see it he wasn’t sure.  “What do they look like?” he asked, taking a cautious step closer to her.

“Horses but… not.  They’re leathery; they don’t have any fur, but they have stringy manes and tails.  And they have wings… like a bat’s.  Do they ever fly, Hagrid?” Lily asked, looking around James.

“Professor Dumbledore will sometimes take ‘em if he’s traveling far and doesn’ want to go by broom,” Hagrid explained, offering another Thestral right next to James a piece of steak.  James flinched away as the raw meat swung in midair then slowly disappeared.  “Can make it to London from ‘ere in a little over an hour.”

“No kidding,” James mused with an approving nod.

“Dead clever they are, too,” Hagrid went on.  “They’ll follow any direction I give ‘em, the firs’ time.  They can figh’ if need be… dangerous when they do…”

Lily surprised James by taking his hand and placing it against the animal’s flank.  “Can you feel it?” she asked, her hand over his.

James nodded, unsure if she meant the Thestral, which was leathery and warm, or the leap that happened in his stomach when she touched him.  “It’s… skinny.”

“Yes, you can see all its bones,” Lily mused.  “They’re very … pretty… in an odd sort of way.”

She held out her hands and James watched as the blood on them was smeared before disappearing as the Thestral licked it up.  She ran her hand down along what must have been its nose before looking up at James.  “Why’d you come down here?”

“I uh… um,” he stammered, ruffling his hair with his free hand.  “I wanted to… _apologize_?”

“For what?” she asked, watching as Hagrid gave her a wink before wandering to the other side of the paddock with the bucket of meat in his hand.  The Thestral she was petting must have followed because she let her hands fall to her sides and looked around James to watch it walk away.

“Getting you in trouble.”

“You didn’t get me in trouble,” she scoffed, wrinkling her nose. “ _I_ got myself in trouble.  I should have just walked away, but… Rollingsfield was being a prat and it made me angry.”

“You and Sirius both,” James informed her.  “Is there any truth to what he’s saying?”

Lily snorted derisively, waving at Hagrid before he disappeared into his hut. “No, of course not,” she muttered, walking to a bucket of clear water to wash off her hands.   “I mean… she _snogged_ him last year but that was it.”

“Nothing else?”

“If you’re asking me if they snuck off during a Hogsmeade visit and got caught getting off behind Honeydukes, no… that didn’t happen,” she said, giving James a look.

James dodged her glance, fussing with his hair as they started walking up to the castle.  “No, no… that was me,” he admitted.

“Oh, that’s _right_ ,” she said in mock surprise. “So, if that was _you_ … what is Julia accused of doing again?”

“You’re saying Rollingsfield is making the whole thing up.  The whole comment about… ‘been there done that-’”

“What is ‘ _that’_ exactly?” asked Lily.

“Getting into her knickers,” said James bluntly. “Teaching her ‘a bit more than Transfiguration.’”

“Yeah, he wishes,” Lily laughed.  “He probably _imagined_ it happening; I think he’d have liked to have gone out with Julia, but she has this… _thing_ … about boyfriends.  To be honest, Black is the first person she’s been ‘ _involved’_ with since Diggory,” Lily mused.

“And we all know how that ended,” James laughed.

“Oh, we do, do we?” she asked skeptically.  “How did it end?”

“Well, it must have ended okay because she wasn’t fussed about it, and neither was he.  And I _know_ it didn’t end with them shagging on the pitch,” scoffed James.

“How do you know that?” asked Lily with a laugh.

“Because that’s impossible. Those rings are so thin you’d shift to the side and fall off,” he said, grinning at her laughter. 

“That’s what she says too.”

“And while we’re talking about rumors, there are other ones going around that are bollocks too.  Rumors that say I’m trying to – or I _have_ – slipped you some sort of love potion at-”

“Because you’re above that?” asked Lily, ignoring the noise of protest he made.  “You rigged a bunch of flowers to pop out of one of my books, you strode into the library and read me a poem you’d found, you tried to _bribe me_ into going out with you saying you’d stop picking on … Snape.  Why should I think you’re above a-“

“I’m above doing anything that would take away _your_ choice in the matter,” interrupted James as he rounded on her, face uncharacteristically serious.  “The last thing I’d want to do is… _force_ you to have feelings for me. They wouldn’t even be feelings; it wouldn’t be real.  If you ever go out with me, it’s going to be your choice and I’d like it to be because you wanted too… not because I _bribed_ you and definitely not because slipped you some _stupid_ potion.”

Lily paused, her lips pursed as she considered him.  This didn’t surprise her; she already knew James wouldn’t give her any kind of a love potion.  But his insistence that she had a _choice_ in the matter of going out with him surprised her a bit.  “It may be my choice, but you’ve been pretty _relentless_ about it.”

“I know,” he acquiesced.  “But… not this year?”

“No, not this year,” Lily agreed, still watching his face as they began to walk again.  He looked almost nervous as they passed by the Great Hall to head to the stairs.

James paused, glancing in the hall then over at Lily.  “You know… dinner?”

“It looks like it’s still on,” she grinned.

“We should have it.  I mean dinner.   We should have dinner…” James fumbled, kicking himself for his stammering.  “Will you have dinner with me?  I told you before Hogsmeade you could ask me anything… you never have – er… I mean, we’ve never had time.”

“I have to wash up first,” she said, holding out her hands. 

“I’ll wait,” offered James. 

Lily tipped her head, her expression soft as she considered him.  “You needn’t look so… conflicted,” James frowned. “It’s not like I asked you to ditch classes tomorrow and elope with me.”

Lily smiled and began to blush.   “Yeah, all right.”

“Dinner?” he confirmed, voice rising to an embarrassingly high pitch.

“Yes, dinner,” she agreed. “I’ll wash up and meet you…“

“Here,” James said, knowing if he returned to the tower he’d be followed by someone and not get any alone time with her.  “I’ll wait here.”

“All right,” Lily said gently.  She smiled again, then walked down the hall towards the stairs to the tower. 

James raced to the bathroom that was just outside the Great Hall.  He washed his hands then tried to smooth his hair down flat.  Ten seconds later, he ruffled it back up because he remembered Lily saying she liked it that way.  He straightened his robes, tugged at the collar on his shirt, and undid his tie.  _Sirius has done this_ , he thought, _the girls were all eyelashes and giggles that day_.  He wiped his hands over his face and looked at his glasses before cleaning them quickly on his sleeve.  James nodded approvingly at himself in the mirror, then returned to the spot just outside the Great Hall.

It hadn’t been very long, but James had already started to pace.  He half wondered if Lily would come down with someone tailing her.  Why couldn’t they ever get any alone time?  Even when he’d taken her flying, they had been surrounded by people.  And there really was no good place for a date anyway… Madam Puddifoots was a joke. That’s why he’d snuck around the back of Honeydukes with Felicity last year.  There was nowhere to go in this castle that allowed for any… _privacy_.  He had no idea how Sirius managed-

“You could have sat down,” Lily’s voice laughed as she came back down the hall, thankfully alone.  “I would have found you by your hair,” she grinned.

James smiled and fiddled with it some more.  She’d changed robes and had taken her hair out of the ponytail it had been in. It now hung in waves around her shoulders.  “Your… you look… nice.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she teased.  “Dinner?”

James nodded, walking with her into the hall.  They sat down at the far end of the Gryffindor table, wordlessly agreeing that this would be the best place to have a conversation. There were pot pies tonight, and plates of ribs with a thick dressing.  They each took a pie and filled their plates around it, eating in awkward silence for a few moments before James finally spoke.

“I meant it,” he said reassuringly.  “You can ask me anything.”

Lily considered this.  Even though the room was getting louder by the minute, she thought she should keep her questions vague just in case.  Plus, she had no idea how long they’d have to _really_ talk.  You could never be _really_ alone in this castle.  If she really wanted answers, she’d better ask quickly.

“Does it hurt?” she started, piecing apart a roll and dipping it into her pot pie.

“No, not at all.”

“Do you always need a wand?”

“Not… really,” said James thoughtfully.  “Wormtail- Pete – still does.  He had the most trouble with it.  But Pads and I don’t need a wand.”

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot…”

“Prongs,” James said, pointing to himself.

Lily pursed her lips.  “Prongs… Did you choose?  _Can_ you choose?”

James shook his head.  “No, you change to what you… are inside, I guess.”

“So someone could be a flobberworm.”

“I suppose.”

“Or a… chicken, or a-“

“Dragon would be cool.”

Lily laughed in agreement.  “Can someone _force_ you to change?”

“No, but you can be forced back into human form.”

“A spell,” confirmed Lily, watching as James nodded. “And you’re safe?  _Totally_ safe?”

“Yes,” said James, leaning forward and dropping his voice.  “The bites only affect humans, and in that state we aren’t human.  I looked it up.”

Lily smirked. “You spend more time in the library then I give you credit for.”

James laughed.  “Restricted Section is interesting,” he explained, watching Lily nod in agreement.  She opened her mouth to say something else, but then sat up straight and nonchalantly began picking apart another roll. 

James looked over his shoulder to see Sirius watching with an amused expression as he approached.  He sat down next to James, effectively ending their alone time.  The hall had filled up now; James knew Remus, and Peter, and probably Julia and Mary would be along any minute.  Lily frowned at her food, taking a few bites in silence.

“You know what,” said James, looking at Sirius, “keep going.”

Lily looked from James to Sirius.  “Really?”

“Really… you’re not… you have good questions,” he said, trying to communicate that her vagueness in questioning was well done.

“What is she questioning you about?” asked Sirius curiously.

“How?” Lily asked, leaning in closer and ignoring Sirius. 

“Not thinking of trying?” asked James.

She shook her head.  “No, not at all.  Was it very difficult?”

“ _Yes_ ,” said James earnestly. “Yes.  It took us _three_ _years_. We only just managed it last fall.”

Sirius seemed to pick up on Lily’s line of interrogation.  He looked at James with a slightly concerned expression, but James wordlessly waved him off and gestured to Lily to keep going. 

“So… how?” she asked.

“Mandrake leaf, in the mouth, for a whole _month_ ,” James explained. “It… helps you connect.”

“The animal mind,” Sirius added.  “You have to find it.”

James nodded.  “Then, once you have it-“

“It takes over for a bit,” Sirius laughed, grinning at James.  “There’s a spell after you do the mandrake bit… then it… we’ll tell you about that some other time.”

“Okay…” Lily said curiously.  “But then _how_?  Is there an incantation?  Or do you just… do it?”

“You’ve drawn it out and connected with the animal mind… then its… acceptance?  You … it’s transfiguration, but you shift _yourself_.  You accept and…” James trailed off, trying to explain how it worked.  “There’s a spell, I mean… but it’s _more_ than the spell.  It’s… acceptance.”

“You _become_ ,” Sirius added. “We’re there- _I’m_ there,” he said, pointing to his head.  “I’m Padfoot, but I still have my own thoughts, they’re just more…animal like.”

“Pure instinct,” said James.

“With…some logic, but not emotions.  You… feel less,” Sirius tried to explain.

“If you’re not feeling or thinking like a human…” Lily went on, “Then how… how did you know to… How did you recognize me?”

“We smelled you.  We smelled a human,” Sirius explained. “Lucky we did.  I caught it first, then Prongs, but both of us knew someone was out before Moony did.”

“We didn’t know it was you until we were _right_ on you,” added James.

Lily shuddered, remembering how hard she’d ran from Remus Lupin in his werewolf form.  “But you realized later…”

“Prongs and Wormtail knew right off, but I didn’t know who it was until they told me the next day,” Sirius admitted.  “I was otherwise… occupied.”

“Right,” Lily grimaced apologetically as Remus sat down beside her.  He looked first to James, then to Lily, then Sirius, then back to Lily.

“Are we playing inquisitor?” he asked her, drumming his fingers nervously on the table.

Before she could speak, James shook his head.  “I said you could ask _me_ anything,” he reminded her.  “ _Me_. Pads was offering information voluntarily, but-”

“I wasn’t going to ask…” Lily sputtered, leaning back, a little shocked by the shift in attitude.  He was so… _protective_ of Remus.  “I don’t–“

“Prongs, its fine,” said Remus, waving off James’ concerns.  “I don’t care if you ask me questions, Lily.”

James looked to Remus, waiting for him to nod again before he relaxed back to normal.  He looked back to Lily and gave her an approving shrug, sitting back and swapping out his now empty plate of food for a slice of cake that had just appeared. 

Lily chewed her lip thoughtfully, staring at James while he chewed his cake and waited for her next question. “Did you want to kiss me on that broomstick?” she asked, changing the topic entirely.

James paused his chewing and smirked, fighting back the flush he knew was coming to his cheeks.  He swallowed before answering.  “Yes.”

Lily nodded, face flushing attractively as she tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at the table.

“To be fair, he wants to kiss you most of the time, Evans,” Sirius advised, grinning James shrugged in agreement.

Lily smiled shyly, taking some of the candied fruit that appeared.  She eyed the tray of cake thoughtfully for a moment, then pulled a slice onto her plate.  James grinned.  “It’s chocolate.”

“That it is.”

He smirked at her.  “Things are growing on you?”

“’ _Things_?’” she asked with a laugh.  “Yes… _things_ are growing on me.”

“You might want to get that checked out,” Sirius noted sagely while James laughed.

“Hang on, _where_ is Julia?” she asked a second later, looking at Sirius as though he should know. 

He shrugged.  “Beats me… I went and looked for her after I got done with detention, but I couldn’t find her.”

Lily bit her lip worriedly.  She looked at the dessert plates.  “She missed dinner.  She missed breakfast this morning, and now she missed dinner.”

“I’ll … take her down later and get her some food,” Sirius reassured her, narrowing his eyes.  “Why do you look worried?”

Before Lily could answer, Dumbledore’s voice called their attention to the front of the room.  “Good evening, good evening.  I have just a short announcement for everyone before you return to your dormitories for the evening.

“Your fellow Professors and I have agreed that we could do with a bit of cheering up, and strive for more comradery between houses.  As such, the annual Halloween feast this year will be followed by a costume party.  You are free to dress as you wish, within reason, and there will be games and dancing for all.

“As always, should you have any questions, please ask any of the Professors or stop by my office.  Enjoy your evening,” he finished, resuming his seat. 

“Costume party… _brilliant_ ,” Sirius exclaimed, clapping his hands together in excitement.  Across the Hall, Lily saw Max mimic him while Bertram laughed.  As they walked out, Max looked over at her and smiled brightly.  Lily frowned, but it was Sirius who commented.

“Think I’ll dress up in Ravenclaw robes and act like a twat, can you guess who I am?” he said, tossing his hair in a good imitation of Max.

Remus and James both laughed, but Lily suddenly got a look of concern on her face as she watched the pair of Ravenclaws walk away.  Pair of Ravenclaws… usually there was a trio. Adrien was missing.

Lily jumped up from the bench and raced out of the hall after them.  “Evans, where are you going?” asked James.

“To find Julia,” she called back.

“Thanks for dinner?”

She paused, looking back at him with a shy grin.  “Yeah… thanks.”

James smiled, getting up from the bench to walk out as well.  “Was that planned?” asked Remus with a grin.

“Last minute; I caught her after detention,” James explained, looking at Sirus who was now running out of the hall. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m after Evans,” he said, waving as he ran after her.  James and Remus jogged to catch up with him as he darted up the stairs.

Lily burst into the common room, frantically looking around for her roommate.  She didn’t see her signature blonde hair, so she ran up to the dormitories.  Lily flung open their door and heaved a sigh of relief at Julia sitting on her bed.

“Why didn’t you come to dinner?”

Julia shook her head, her back still to Lily.  “What’s wrong?” asked Lily, moving hurriedly toward her.  Julia lifted her face and Lily gasped at the blood running from her nose over her chin.  “ _What happened_?”

“ _Slytherins_ ,” she muttered.  “I was talking to Adrien about what a prat he’s being, and Avery and Snape happened to walk by.  Asked if we were snogging again and Adrien got shirty with him, then Avery hexed him with something and when I tried to get them back they put that… stupid… body-bind curse on me and I fell flat on my face,” she explained, gesturing to her nose.

“Why didn’t you go to the hospital wing?” asked Lily, lifting Julia’s chin so she could better examine her. 

Julia shook her head.  “It was just closer to come here.”

“When did this happen?”

“Right before dinner started,” Julia explained.  “Adrien couldn’t get the hex off me, so he had to drag me up the stairs, then it wore off.  He wanted me to come to the hospital wing with him… he has these boils all over, but I told him no.  I thought I’d just come up here and-“

A klaxon like sound interrupted her; it was so loud it caused both the girls to jump.  The sound was followed by a yelp then a roar of laughter from the common room.  “That’ll be Sirius,” muttered Lily.

“Sirius?  Who’s ‘ _Sirius_?’” Julia laughed.

“Sirius Black?  You’ve been snog-“

“I know who you’re talking about.  You just never call him anything other than Black… now he’s _Sirius_ … what’s happened to you?”

Lily flushed.  “Nothing… I … oh come _off it_.  Can I fix your nose?  If not, you should go to see Madam Pomfrey.”

Julia wiped her face on her sleeve.  “In a minute, I want to see this,” she giggled, pushing past Lily and out the door.

“-the _Hell_ is that about?” Sirius was shouting over the roar of laughter.

“You didn’t know about that?” choked Remus, who was leaning against the wall laughing.

“That’s… its _sexist_ is what it is!” growled Sirius.  “Girls come up to our side _all the time_ and- what happened to your face?”

“Oh, _damn_ ,” said Julia, looking to Lily behind her.  “I didn’t think about -”

“What _happened_?” asked Sirius, alarmed.  The stairs hadn’t reverted back from a slide, so he pushed his feet up on the wall and his hands against the bannister to climb towards where the girls were standing.  The klaxon like bell went off again and everyone covered their ears.

“ _Get off_!” Lily shouted over the alarm.  “We’ll come down there!”

Sirius jumped down and slid gracefully onto the floor.  The people in the common room all began sniggering as Lily and Julia slid down behind him.  Sirius pushed past Lily, knocking her into a table beside the staircase, and took Julia’s face in his hands.

“What happened?” he asked again, cradling her face between his palms.

Whispers broke out behind them and a few people whistled and said “ _Ooooo_ ” in their direction.  Lily shot a glare into the common room, but it was Remus who spoke.  “Bugger off and get back to studying!” he grumbled.

“ _Moony_!” James laughed.  “So _assertive_ ,” he teased before looking back over to where Julia and Sirius were standing.

“It’s nothing,” she was muttering reassuringly.  “I was telling Rollingsfield off about being a prat earlier and got hexed.”

“By _Rollingsfield_?” glowered Sirius.

“No, not by him, no-”

“Who then?”

“Avery and Snape,” she muttered.  “It was a crime of circumstance, it’s not –“

“Are you okay?” he asked, still holding her face in his hands.

Julia’s eyes flickered to Lily’s for just a second, both looking confused. Usually Sirius was all brawn and wit, not tender or concerned.  Lily could tell Julia was both pleased yet unnerved by this shift in personality.

“I… I’m okay.  Really, I am… Lils can fix me right up, I bet,” she offered, placing her hands on Sirius’ forearms. 

“ _Can_ you?  Maybe we should go to Pomfrey instead,” Sirius suggested, looking at Lily as he let go of Julia’s face and put his arm around her shoulders.

“Um… it’s up to you Jules,” said Lily, moving close to look at Julia’s face.  “Your nose is broken, but I can mend it.”

“Do it then,” insisted Julia.  “I don’t want to walk all the way to the hospital wing.”

Lily took out her wand, holding it straight in front of Julia’s face.  “This is going to hurt,” she warned.

Julia wrinkled her nose, eyes flicking to Sirius then back to Lily.  “I’m used to a little pain,” she grimaced.

Lily frowned, but readied herself for the spell.  “ _Episkey_!” she said forcefully, jabbing her wand directly at Julia’s nose.

There was a “crack” and Julia yelped before hunching over. A second later, she stood straight up and scrunched up her face.  Her nose was straight again; the slight oozing of blood had stopped.  She sniffed and wiggled it a bit, then smiled.  “Thanks for that.”

Sirius examined her closely; then, to everyone’s surprise, he leaned in and kissed the top of her head.

Julia froze. Then Sirius froze; both shocked by the action.  Sirius resumed an overly casual stance and began ruffling his hair while Julia cleared her throat and wiped her face on her sleeve.  Behind him, James and Remus gave each other surprised looks.

“You hungry, Tottle?” Sirius asked after a short awkward silence.

Julia considered him.  “Starving,” she admitted.

Sirius nodded, turning with her and walking toward the portrait door.  He paused by James, arguing with him about something before James grudgingly shoved his invisibility cloak into Sirius’ hands. 

Sirius smirked at him.  “You know I’ll bring it back.”

“Just get out of here,” James growled, fighting back a smile.  Sirius grinned and walked closer to the door before throwing it over Julia and himself and exiting the common room. 

Lily walked to the portrait hole, then back to where James and Remus were standing.  “Did you see that?” she asked, scandalized.

“Yeah,” James muttered.  “Avery’s an ass. You talk about _me_ hexing-“

“No, not the hexing,” Lily scoffed.  “ _That_.  Sirius!  He was… being all-“

“Not Sirius like,” Remus interjected.

“ _Sweet_!” Lily added.

James shrugged.  “He likes her.  I mean… _I’ve_ never seen him do that, but it’s not out of character.  Look what he does for you, Moony.”

Remus considered this, nodding in agreement. “Though, he does shoulder punch me when I want to go to the Library.”

“If he shoulder punches her, I’m sure he’ll have to answer to Evans,” James teased.

“If he shoulder punches her, I’m sure she’ll break his nose,” Lily countered to James and Remus’ amusement. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for any comments! I appreciate the feedback, it gives me things to mull over. I'm on tumblr if anyone feels the urge to connect that way.


	9. Potions Progidy

**Potions Progidy**

**Song stuck in my head: Fleetwood Mac – Albatross (instrumental)**

* * *

The weather turned slightly rainy as fall wore on, forcing everyone indoors after classes and on weekends.  Though the _students_ didn’t necessarily care, this meant more work for Prefects as bored students stuck inside meant more time for mischief.

Most of the pranks were fairly tame.  Lily was sure it had to be Sirius, Peter, and James who filled the Gryffindor common room with balloons that wouldn’t pop.  She and Alice had tried Vanishing them, but then they exploded into brightly colored fireworks.  Then, someone had taken to spiking people’s drinks with belch powder and the afflicted students had taken to casting silencing charms so their belching wouldn’t echo throughout the halls.  Lily didn’t mind these pranks, but were a little more aggressive. 

Max had been sent to the hospital after he’d emerged from Ravenclaw tower covered in boils.  The next day, Potter ended up in the hospital wing after breakfast when someone had poured an overdose of elderberry extract in his juice and he couldn’t stop vomiting.  Lily suspected Jasper Westpelt as the culprit, but wondered if it was at the behest of someone _else_ since the next day, both he and Bertram Aubrey ended up having dungbombs go off whenever they opened their bags.

“Prongs is in detention,” Remus said later as he and Lily walked through the halls during prefect duty.  “He didn’t even bother to deny it.”

“Well, dungbombs are tame compared to some of the other stuff he’s done,” she replied.

“True, but it’s pouring outside and no magic in the corridors, so his options were limited.  Otherwise he probably would have hung him up by his pants in the courtyard,” said Remus fairly.

Lily let out a small laugh.  “I can’t say I blame him, he was in hospital all day.  Was he _sure_ it was Westpelt doing it for Bertram?”

“Sam actually told me it was Bertram, then I told Prongs, and so on,” he explained.

“ _Why_?  What has Potter done to him?  I thought they all got on – “

“Prongs hasn’t done anything to _him_ , per say… it’s what he’s done to _you_ ,” Remus informed her.

“He’s done nothing to me,” Lily frowned.

“He’s got you talking to him somehow. Julia is on to something; they’re jealous.”

“What’s there to be _jealous_ of?” she scoffed.  “I’m not going out with Potter.”

“You’re paying a lot more attention to James now than you are to Bertram, or Max…”

“That’s because _he’s_ been pleasant while _they’ve_ been idiots,” grumbled Lily.  “And _that’s_ saying something, because Potter is still a bit of an idiot-”

Remus laughed.  “He’s only sixteen.”

“ _You’re_ sixteen.”

“I had to… grow up fast, so to speak,” said Remus darkly.  Lily frowned at him, a conflicted expression on her face.  “Something wrong?” asked Remus.

“No, but since you brought up how you had to ‘grow up’ fast, I’ve been wanting to ask you something,” she said quietly.  “And I didn’t want to ask in front of Potter because he’s very… _protective_ … of you.”

“I don’t know if ‘protective’ is the right word,” Remus considered.

“No, it is,” she said.  “He looks out for you, he looks out for Pettigrew, and Black as well.  He’s very protective of _all_ of you, and I _still_ don’t think he likes that I know.”

“I don’t mind that you know,” said Remus.  “You didn’t… most people- “

“I know what most people think, trust me.  I’m not thinking that at all.  You’re just Remus.  You’ve… just got a- “

“’Furry little problem,’ is what Prongs says.”

“That’s… appropriate,” she laughed.  “Can I ask… it hurts, doesn’t it?”

Remus pressed his lips together, his eyes wandering the floor in front of his feet.  She took his silence to mean yes.

“If you could do something to … ease the pain and keep your sanity, something to keep your wits about you, would you?”

“Obviously, I would,” Remus replied.  “I mean… if I was stuck as a wolf but I kept my…” he continued thoughtfully, considering the idea moment.  Then he frowned and shook his head.  “There’s nothing though.  Even with the others, I’m still a _werewolf_.  I can’t control anything… I mean, you saw that.  I wouldn’t have… I’d have stopped myself if I had any wits.”

“So, it helps with… them?”

Remus nodded.  “It’s like a pack; there’s an order.  Even though we’re not the same animals, there’s an order.  And just the fact that I’m not _alone_ … biting, and scratching, and slamming myself into walls.”

“How did everything for you get set up?” she asked curiously.

“It’s all Dumbledore,” Remus explained.  “He came to our house.  My Mum and Dad didn’t think I’d be able to come to Hogwarts, see.  I never had any friends because we always had to move around.  Dad had just planned on teaching me at home, but Dumbledore showed up one day and… well… barged in, sort of.  He told them he had thought of a work around so I could come to school.”

Lily nodded, piecing together the puzzle of Remus’ existence. “So, you came, and told no one… but Potter and Black and Pettigrew aren’t dim...”

“Right,” laughed Remus.  “I’m pretty sure James and Sirius had it worked out first year, but during second year they told me they knew first week back and that they didn’t think anything of it.  I kept expecting them to turn on me, but they never did,” he mused.

Lily smiled.  “I’m glad, and I don’t see how they _could_ Remus.  But, back to my question; if there was something you could do to help… would you do it?”

“Yes,” he said emphatically.  “Yes, of course I would.”

Lily nodded, deciding after a few weeks of internal debate.  “Can you keep something between us?  Because I’m not sure what Potter would think about it.”

“Think about what?” Remus asked, sounding wary.

“I need your help with something,” she explained.  “It’s a potion I read about… for you.”

“For _me_?” he asked, confused.  “Lily, I’m not… I’m _dreadful_ at potions to be honest.  I still don’t know how I scrapped an O.W.L. in it.”

“I’ll _make_ it but… just, look at this article with me,” she said, sitting down behind a suit of armor and pulling Remus next to her.  She handed him a magazine she had rolled up in her robes, watching as Remus scanned it slowly.

He gave her a look when he finished, eyes a little wary.  “This… it’s still experimental.”

“It _is_ ,” she agreed.  “But I’ve written to this Belby. I pretended _I_ was the werewolf, and he gave me the instructions for it.  It’s tricky, and you’d have to take it _every night_ the week before the full moon, but I think I could do it.  The trick is with the heat,” she explained.  “It needs to be kept at a certain temperature while the ingredients blend.  If the temperature isn’t right, it’s useless, but nothing _bad_ happens.  It’s just useless, he says, or, that’s what he’s been _told_. But he’s had a few people say it works really well,” she added in a hopeful voice.

Remus looked at the article again, biting his lip.  “Why do you need _my_ help?  Why can’t you just brew it and give it to me?”

“Well, I could use some help getting the ingredients.  I’m going to have to nick them from Slughorn’s cupboard because I can’t afford to buy them.  But once I have a few I can just multiply them.  And you have to agree to drink it, obviously.”

“Why don’t you want to tell Prongs?” Remus asked.

“Because like I said, he’s _protective_ of you.  The way he acted at dinner when he thought I’d ask you questions… I’m not sure how he’d feel about me talking you into taking some experimental potion.”

“Fair point, but why do this for me?” he asked.  “I mean… I can’t give you anything in return and we’ll be breaking all kinds of- “

“I don’t _expect_ anything, Remus.  And honestly, since when do you _really_ care about the rules?  You run about with Potter and Black for Merlin’s sake,” she said, rolling her eyes.  Remus laughed and gave her an acquiescing shrug, so she went on. 

“If this could help you, I feel like we should try.   And if St. Mungo’s took it on, then you and others would be more accepted, perhaps?  I’m sure it would take a while, but… maybe things would get better.  I know what it’s like to think about … life after school and not know what options you’ll have,” she admitted.

Remus considered her thoughtfully.  “Okay, I’ll try it.  I mean… what could it hurt?” he asked with a grin. Lily was beaming as she jumped to her feet.

“Great, because if I’m going to brew it this month I need to get started as soon as possible,” she informed Remus as he stood up next to her. 

He did agree that it would be nice to feel more in control, but wondered how James would feel when he eventually found out what they were doing together.  

Though the next morning, it was Julia who was suspicious and not Potter. Lily didn’t like it at all.  “You two are _never_ gone that long for Prefect duty.  Where did you go?” Julia asked at the beginning of Chrarms class.

“Where did _you_ go?” Lily asked back.  “You didn’t get back until after _I_ did, so how do you know how long I was gone anyway?”

“Because Sirius was asking about it – “

“Oh, _Sirius_ was asking about it,” scoffed Lily, rolling her eyes.  “Is that what he was telling you when you were skiving off breakfast this morning?  You know, I’m not skipping meals to go _get off_ with someone,” she pointed out.  “So, where were you?  What did you do while you were out last night?”

Julia pursed her lips.  “Sirius, he… took me to the kitchens first.  Then we just… walked and talked.”

“What did you talk about?” Lily pressed.

“This isn’t the time, Lils,” insisted Julia.  “I promise… I _promise_ I’ll tell you later.”

“Did she tell you she had _dinner_ with _Potter_?” asked Mary conspiratorially as she sat down next to them.

“Did _she_ tell you she had _dinner_ with _Pettigrew_?” Lily shot back.

“Oh, my God.  You lot _ate_ together, what a _scandal_ ,” Julia groaned, rolling her eyes.  “I’m sure you were both having a lovely chat, right?”

“Yes, actually, we were,” Mary said haughtily.  “In fact, he said he feels like he never gets alone time to talk with anyone else, so it was nice… _and_ he thought Potter wanted to be alone with you, so he wanted to respect that unlike his _other_ friends.”.

“Potter _always_ wants to be alone with her,” said Julia.  “This should surprise no one.  _However_ ,” she continued with a wicked grin, “I _am_ surprised that you asked Potter if he wanted to kiss you.”

“I didn’t… that’s _not_ what I asked,” Lily sputtered.  “I suppose you heard _that_ from Sirius too.”

“Among a few other people,” Julia admitted.  “You weren’t as quiet as you thought.”

Lily rolled her eyes.  “I asked him if he had wanted to kiss me _when_ we were _flying_.  When we were on that broomstick… because he looked like he did.”

Julia laughed.  “Of _course,_ he did,” she whispered as Flitwick walked past.  She waved her wand and froze the spinning top in front of her to a dead standstill.  He nodded approvingly before wandering on and allowing her to continue.  “Sirius was right, he wants to kiss you all the time.  I bet if you went over there _right now_ and asked him to kiss you he’d say ‘yes.’”

Lily shook her head. “I shouldn’t have asked that.  It was – “

“Why? It’s not like haven’t been thinking about kissing him for the last month,” whispered Julia. 

Lily’s cheeks felt a little hot and turned away before flicking so much force the top spinning in front of her it made a screeching sound when it stopped.  Julia laughed mischievously.  “There’s the nerve I was digging for.”

“Oh, shut up,” grumbled Lily.  “You won’t talk about what’s going on with Black, and he’s been _very_ sweet to you and- “

“Yes, he has been,” she admitted with a smirk.  “He’s… hang on, what’s this?” she asked, snatching a little paper bird that had fluttered over to their area out of the air.  She unfolded it quickly, leaning away from Lily to show it to Mary first.  They giggled as they read the note. 

“ _What_?” asked Lily, snatching the note out of Julia’s hand.  A single word was scrawled on it in all capital letters.

“ _YES_.”

“See? I told you,” said Julia, laughing when Lily crumpled up the paper and turned as red as her hair. 

Lily practically raced out of the classroom when the bell rang, hoping to avoid an interrogation from James or anyone else who happened to be listening.  She made it halfway down the stairs before someone called out to her.

“Lils, wait up!” called Max’s voice. 

_Oh no_ , she thought.  She just had to make it to the Potions room in the dungeon. Max wouldn’t be able to follow her into there for he surely had another class to get too…

“Hi, Max,” she said as he caught up with her.  She could hear another pair of footsteps, actually _several_ footsteps, running to keep up.  She tried to walk faster but the stupid staircases shifted.

“Say… another Hogsmeade visit this weekend, want to meet up?” he asked when they got stuck on a rung and had to wait for the staircase to swing around to another adjoining one.

“Oh, I may not be going if it’s still raining… if I see you I’ll see you,” she muttered, practically jumping onto the next staircase as soon as it was close enough.

“Slughorn was talking about his Christmas do the other day, trying to compete with the costume party,” Max noted, following after her. “You have a costume yet?” he pressed.

“I’ve got an idea,” she mused, reaching the bottom of the stair case and vaulting over the railing to race down the hall. 

“Can’t wait to see it,” he called, panting a little and watching her go.  Lily waved over her shoulder at him, noticing that James had vaulted over the banister and was running her after now, followed by the rest of the Gryffindors in her year. 

“Out of breath, Linghold?” he asked when he passed Max, a little smirk on his face.  “Better get in shape quick. Quidditch season.”

“You’d better get Shacklebolt up to speed,” Linghold called after him.  “And if Greenfield isn’t better you’d better find a new Seeker.  A _good one,_ too!  Otherwise Rowle will wipe the floor with them and we’ll _all_ be screwed points wise.”

“ _On it_!” James called.

“We _can’t_ let them win again!” Linghold shouted.  Lily thought that the only issue they’d ever be united on was beating Slytherin at Quidditch. 

Lily reached the classroom first, rushing to her usual spot at one of the front tables and throwing her books to one side.  She sat down and waited anxiously, hoping that Potter wouldn’t plop in the seat next to her and throw off her plans. 

To her immense relief, Julia beat James into the class room and Remus followed close after, both of them panting.  Peter slunk into the seat next to Remus, looking a little bemused.

“Why were we running?” he asked Remus, who shot a furtive look at Lily.

“Don’t know why _you_ were running,” Lily said lightly.  “I was trying to get away from Max.”

“You might need to run a bit faster next time,” advised James as he walked by.  He looked at the four seats around her, frowning slightly.  “He seems pretty intent on getting you alone.”

“Good luck with that,” she muttered.

James sighed, sitting at the table adjacent to her with Sirius, Melany Quills and Finn Benson, both from Hufflepuff.  The rest of the class was filled with Slytherins. 

“I heard Linghold shouting in the halls.  Is Greenfield _still_ out?” Finn asked James.  Emmett Greenfield had fallen victim to a very well-placed tripping jinx and had been in the hospital wing for two days now recovering from a broken leg.

“He is for now,” James muttered.  “I’m finding a back-up for him.”

“But you’ve got your other Chaser.  Can’t you play it?”

“I can, but I’m better at Chasing and we still need someone to shore up the score that way, so I’d rather find another Seeker,” he explained before looking at Lily.  “Oi, Evans… are you listening to this?”

“Not really,” she admitted, turning around in her chair to look at James.

“I need a Seeker if Greenfield is still out with his leg.”

“I’m not your girl,” she insisted.  “I’ve no interest in playing Quidditch.”

“Come _on_ …” James groaned.  “I can teach you to fly better.”

Lily smirked.  “Not on the Quidditch pitch.”

“Around town then?” suggested James.  “Hogsmeade next weekend, we could- “

“It’s been pouring down rain, I hardly think that’s the type of weather to learn to fly in.”

“I’d only keep you for a bit.  There are shield charms.  We could see if I end up wanting to kiss you again.”

Melany Quills giggled, as did Julia.  Lily fought back a grin as she looked at Potter’s smug expression.  “You sly little twit,” she grumbled.  “In your dreams.”

 “He _does_ dream about it,” Remus muttered, chuckling when James grinned wildly. 

“Honestly, though,” James pressed.  “I _really_ need a Seeker… Tottleham?”

“Not me,” Julia laughed.  “I’ve seen what happens during Quidditch; no, thank you.”

“You know who you should ask,” Lily said suddenly, as though she’d been giving this some thought.  “Westpelt or Honora Price.”

“Westpelt is a prat,” scoffed Sirius. 

“Honora is all right,” Lily pressed.  “She tosses things at me from across the common room and catches them when I throw them back if that means anything.  She might have potential.”

James considered this, thinking back to the few times he’d watched Lily and the short haired fifth year mess about in the common room.  He’d have to find her at dinner, or after class this afternoon. 

Slughorn cleared his throat as he came sauntering into the room.  “Good morning, everyone,” he said jovially, squeezing his portly figure tight rows of tables.  Lily noticed he was wearing an amused sort of expression on his face.  “All right, I’ve got something _fun_ for us today.  Pull out your books and turn to page 112, the Volubillis Potion.  Quite tricky, but it can be brewed within our class period.  Now… who can tell me the purpose of the Volubillis Potion?  Yes, Mr. Potter?”

“Changes the drinker’s voice for a period of time,” said James matter-of-factly. 

“Yes, exactly right.  It can also be used as an antidote for a _silencing_ charm, you should know.  Now, I heard from Minerva that Ms. Evans put a silencing charm on you and Max Linghold so powerful it took her two tries to remove it,” Slughorn laughed, clapping James on the shoulder.  “You may want to pay close attention to this one, then.” 

James gave Slughorn a strained smile, but then grinning for real when he saw the smug look Lily threw him. 

“Now, as I said, this is _tricky_ , but not impossible.  Brewing it within class time, and brewing it _well_ , will take some focus, which we all have been lacking a bit lately.  So, I’m going to sweeten the deal a bit.  As a reward, I offer _this_ ,” he grinned mischievously, pulling a small vial of golden liquid from his robes.

Everyone in class sat up a little taller, peering at the little vial Slughorn held aloft.  He smiled.  “I usually bring this one out in the first week of lessons, but I’d ended up a bit behind on my brewing schedule after spending holiday in India.  I’d been visiting a few old students of mine studying international wizarding law. Plus, during our first class, there were so many questions about Polyjuice Potion and Amortentia we didn’t get to it.” he mused. 

Julia and Lily exchanged a look while Remus mouthed “ _Questions about Amortentia_?” at James, who narrowed his eyes a little bit.

“Anyway, here it is now,” Slughorn went on, setting the vial up for display on his desk.  “Anyone venture a guess as to what it is?  No one?  Well, let me give you a few hints:  its use is rather controlled, and absolutely forbidden in sporting events.  Side effects can include recklessness, excessive giddiness, overconfidence and, oddly, excessive nose tweaking.  The potions are brewed- “

“ _Felix Felicis_!” Sirius yelped.  He glanced at James who looked excitedly back at him.  Indeed, almost everyone in class had perked up even more.

“Yes, that’s correct, my boy,” Slughorn cheered.  “10 points to Gryffindor.  Now!  Whoever is the first to finish their Volubillis Potion _before_ class is up _AND_ have brewed it correctly will claim this as their prize.  That is your challenge.  So, gather your cauldrons, the ingredients are in the cupboard - don’t _shove_ there’s plenty for everyone,” he added, stepping out of the way as students pushed up from their tables and crowded the stores to pull out ingredients. 

“Ah, Ms. Evans… this should be an easy task for you,” Slughorn said quietly as Lily passed him.  “I expect I could just write your name on it right now.”

“Oh… I’m not going to count my dragons before they hatch, Professor,” she smiled.  Slughorn just laughed and began to peruse a magazine while Lily shunted forward, Remus by her side.

“You sure about this?” he whispered.  “We could grab them another day…”

Lily shook her head.  “No, I think today is perfect because everyone is going to be distracted. I can’t get it ready for this month, but if it’s to be done by the _next_ full moon I have to start by the second week in November, otherwise it won’t be ready.”

Remus nodded.  October’s full moon was just a few days away, but November was a harvest moon and those were always more intense.  It would be a good to have something to take the edge off that night if the potion worked.  “What do we need again?”

“Valerian root, Wolfsbane, Moonseed, and Occamy egg shells,” she whispered back.  Remus nodded grimly and approached the shelf to grab his ingredients.

Lily couldn’t have planned for a better day to do this. With the lure of _Felix Felicis_ at the front of the room, everyone was focused entirely on their own potions instead of gossiping or messing about.  Usually students were allowed to ask for help from others, but today it was all solo work.  Sirius and James were working in furious silence, almost in competition with one another.  Melany and Finn at their table had stopped working a few times just to watch them in awe. 

Lily was going at a leisurely pace, reading the instructions carefully and making sure that she could at least pull a passing grade off the assignment.  Julia scowled at her textbook and Peter looked utterly lost.  Lily noticed Remus was working rather hard as well.  She glanced at the small vial of potion.

While she would have liked to have it, because surely there would come a time when she could use some luck, it wasn’t her focus today.  She’d spent the two weeks memorizing the instructions to brew Damocles Belby’s potion and had read his reply letter so many times she practically had it memorized.

“… _wouldn’t even be suggesting this if you hadn’t gotten an Outstanding in your O.W.L’s.  Frankly I’m shocked, but very pleased, they worked out a plan for you to attend school.  The instructions are below, but I urge **extreme** caution.  The potion must be kept exactly at temperature in order for the dittany and lavender to blend well enough that it counteracts the toxicity of the wolfsbane.  It must be taken every day in the seven days prior to the rising of the moon otherwise the effects will be useless.  If you have positive results, I beg you to let me know.  I’m working with St. Mungo’s and trying to get them to see the benefits of such a treatment, but as you can imagine the idea of integrating werewolves hasn’t been too popular_ …”

“Ms. Evans,” Slughorn mused from above her.  “You seem _very_ distracted today.  Your cauldron is just starting to bubble.”

“It took me a while to shred my mandrake root.  I could have chopped it, but shredding makes it- “

“Dissolve much easier, yes,” Slughorn finished for her.  “Yes, you’re quite right about that.”

“Professor, while you’re here, I’m wondering if you have extra mint leaves I could purchase.  I have enough for today’s assignment, but I’m afraid it’s going to wear out my stores,” she lied.  “I haven’t got an owl to order more and you know how the schools- “

“No need to worry, Lily, my dear, plenty in my cupboard… help yourself to as much as you’d like, you need only ask,” he said, giving her a wink and a friendly smile. 

Lily nodded, getting up to grab more ingredients.  She _did_ grab mint leaves for the assignment, but she also snuck the vial of Occamy egg shells under her sleeves.  When she sat back down, she pulled out her wand, casting the required spell on her potion then pointing it at the vial in her hand.  “ _Augere Tantum_ ,” she whispered, opening the vial of egg shells and pouring the excess she created into a small jar she had brought with her.  She screwed the lid on tight, passed the original vial to Remus and stuck the other deep in her bag.

It went this way throughout class.  Lily would get Slughorn’s attention and while he was occupied, Remus would run to the cupboard to grab another ingredient.  Lily would double the amount and stash away the excess, then when Slughorn was engaged with someone else or Remus happened to catch his attention, Lily would be the one to run to the stores and grab another ingredient.  There were only three things she needed from his stores, but one of them was wolfsbane and since it was the primary ingredient, she was hesitant to duplicate it, let the duplication spell affected the potion somehow.

There was about fifteen minutes left of class when several students erupted with shouts.  Sirius was the first one on his feet.

“ _Finished_!’

 “ _Professor_!

“ _Done_!

“ _Professor_!”

After Sirius, James, Snape, and Nadine Shafiq had also jumped to their feet.  Slughorn considered them thoughtfully.  “Well done all of you, but I _do_ believe I heard Mr. Black’s voice first,” he said with a large grin, striding over to where Sirius was.  Lily looked down at her potion, which had been finished for just a while, but she saw no sense in competing for the goal.  Remus and Julia were both still stirring, and Peter was staring at his cauldron looking lost. 

“Pete, if you add the mint you’ll be able to finish it up,” Lily whispered.  “It won’t be perfect, but you’ll at least scrap an A.”

“Really?” Peter asked.  “No idea what I’m doing in here to be honest,” he admitted.  “Don’t know how I got an E…”

“Well, you did,” she reminded him.  “You’ve got more skill than you give yourself credit for.”

Peter smiled, pleased with the compliment.  Remus smiled at Lily.  “Did you get it all?” he whispered as he leaned over to look at her potion.

“Yes, I just need to put this back,” she explained, showing him the fourth bottle of wolfsbane she’d stolen a few leaves out of. “Lucky Slughorn has about a billion bottles of it.”

Remus glanced at the front of the room.  “Should we try it now?”

“No, when we hand our samples in,” she said.  “I’ll chat him up, you put it back.”

“What are you two _on_ about?” asked Julia curiously.  “You’ve been hissing at each other all through class.”

“Nothing,” Remus and Lily said simultaneously. 

Julia gave them a suspicious look, but turned her attention to where Slughorn was standing over Sirius.  “Will you look at him go?” she said. “I expect he might pop the question after this.”

“Has Black been saving himself for marriage?” asked Lily.

Julia’s grin was devilish.  “Depends on what you mean by ‘saving,’” she asked.

“…absolutely _perfect_ , Sirius, my boy,” Slughorn gushed.  “I tell you, you hide your potential so well.  I should have expected as much, being a _Black_ and all.  I am still shocked by your sorting, but something must set you apart from your family to have been sorted outside of Slytherin…”

Remus rolled his eyes and looked at Peter. “He’s going to be hot about that tonight,” he muttered while Peter nodded.

“What?” asked Lily.  “About Slughorn praising him?”

“No, about him saying he’s only good at potions because he’s a Black,” Julia explained.  “And always saying he should have been in Slytherin.”

Lily chewed her lip, watching Slughorn continue to banter while Sirius tried to smile.  James was stoppering up his potion and gathering _his_ things along with Sirius’, apparently eager to get out of the dungeon.  She began to do the same, glancing at Remus to confirm the plan was still on.

The bell rang, and students jumped from their chairs.  “Oh, I almost forgot. I want a roll of parchment on this one by Friday.  And congratulations again to Sirius Black for his marvelous demonstration… enjoy your prize,” he gleamed, handing a grinning Sirius the vial of golden potion.

James followed him out of the room, watching as he examined the vial.  “You going to share that?” James asked.

“I may; or I may keep it for myself,” he muttered with a grin.  “You know it’s not ‘g _et lucky’_ potion, Prongs.”

“Potter’ll need all the help he can get with that,” muttered Avery as he passed with Snape, who looked disgusted over his loss.

“Don’t look so glum, Snivellus.  If you’d wash your hair more than once among, I’m sure you would have been able to see better and finish on time,” Sirius replied, frowning at Avery as he remembered something.  “And Avery…you might want to use some get lucky potion since it sounds like you enjoy hexing ladies, now?  They usually don’t like that,” he noted. 

Avery smiled.  “I don’t know if I’d classify Tottleham as a _lady_.”

“She’s prettier than this lady-fraud you’ve got with you,” said Sirius, pointing to Snape.  “But even with that… you should learn some manners.  Perhaps you should be taught how to be polite.”

“Is that a threat?” Snape asked. 

“Yes, I think it might be,” said Avery.  “Ten points for threatening a prefect.”

“You’re going take points?” asked James angrily.  “That’s a cowardly way out.  We _should_ teach you some manners.”

“Coward, eh? Ten points for insults,” Avery continued, turning over his shoulder and flashing his wand at James.  “Go on then… _teach_ me.”

James glared angrily with Sirius at his side.  Peter came then, moving along past Snape and Avery before pausing and watching James for cues.  Everyone was tense until Remus joined them, giving both James and Sirius a look before he walked past.  James snorted, then stowed his own wand back in his robes and followed Remus down the hall.  Sirius joined him, but not before taking a moment to shove Avery aside with his shoulder as he passed.

“Five points for physical violence,” Avery laughed after him.  James saw Sirius’ hands clench into fists. 

“You know, I’m not sure Black actually finished his potion since Slughorn declined to test it,” Snape pointed out loudly.  “He could have cheated.”

“That’s fair, fifteen points for cheating,” Avery added.

“Questioning a Professor’s decision and lying about a student,” Lily called, glaring at Avery as she and Julia walked past them. “I’d say that’s worth at least fifteen points,” she muttered.

“You weren’t top of the class, Evans… didn’t let Slughorn up your skirt today?” Avery sneered after her.  “No wonder he seemed so glum.”

“You sure it’s not because you didn’t even finish on time, Avery?” asked Julia.  “Slughorn hates when his house is shamed, and you bring shame to it every day.”

“How’s your face, Tottleham?” Avery hissed back while Snape laughed.  “Though, I reckon even with a broken nose you’re a nicer sight than this Mudblood,” he finished, gesturing to Lily who made a face and kept right on walking.

James had whirled around, intending to stalk back to where Avery was, but Lily had walked right in front of him. She put her hands against his chest and leaned her whole-body weight into him.  “Not worth it,” she mumbled.

“The only Mudblood prefect in all the school,” Avery continued, shaking his head at Snape.  “It’s a shame we can’t dock points from other Prefects. I think being a Mudblood alone is worth at least twenty.”

James made an angry noise, placing his hands on Lily’s shoulders to move her out of the way.  “Forget manners,” he sneered over her head.  “Someone needs to wash _your_ mouth out.”

“Go on, then,” Snape challenged, watching as James struggled when Lily pushed him back.

Avery laughed. “Not going to let a Mudblood talk you out of a fight are you, Potter?”

Lily grabbed James’ robes when he pushed her out of the way and lunged towards Snape, Sirius just behind him.  Lily sank her entire body weight back, but James kept moving forward just like a packhorse hauling a heavy carriage behind him.  Thankfully Remus, looking just as angry as James, stepped in front of both Sirius and James, suddenly looking a lot broader and stronger than he normally did. 

“I think 20 points for language is fair…you agree, Evans?” he asked, grabbing James by the shoulders and pushing him hard back toward Lily. 

“Sure, all right,” Lily replied, gathering a stumbling James and turning him away from Snape and Avery as Remus took Sirius by the shoulders and dragged him down the hall.  

Avery sneered while Snape smirked in an odd manner before they turned and walked away.  James glowered after them while Sirius gave him a look.  “The mouth washing…I think we can manage that,” he muttered under his breath.

“Better,” agreed James.

Lily ignored this, not wanting to know what they were saying to each other in their strange, broken sentences.  Other students had started to file into the hallway leading to the Potions dungeon; a few had gathered around to watch.  Lily released James, hitching her bag higher on her shoulder as she turned to walk away.  Julia was standing next to Peter, looking disgusted.  “Come on… we’re going to be late,” Lily muttered, waiting for Julia to fall into step with her.

They hadn’t gotten much further down the hall when a sneering voice echoed over to them. “If we’re assigning points it should be at least thirty for a Mudblood.”

“At _least_ ,” replied a high-pitched laughed.  “They’re practically half-breeds.  I can’t imagine a love potion would-”

Sirius and James both whipped around again, but it was Julia who shouted.  “ _Oi_!” she snarled.  “A love potion would be the _only_ way you could get someone to kiss that frog face of yours!”

Sirius bit back a laugh, but James still looked angry.  “Who said that?” he growled, looking at the group of students heading into the Potions dungeon.

“That idiot Umbridge twat and Marcus Jugson,” said Julia, still glowering over at the group of Slytherin’s now filing into the potions dungeon.  “Fourth years.”

“Someone ought to wash her mouth out too,” Remus muttered.

Lily made a disgusted noise and continued her walk to class.  “Hey, Evans,” James said catching up with her.  “Ignore that… it’s- “

“I am,” she replied quietly. “It’s just a word.”

“You’re right, it is,” he insisted.  He took her hand and continued walking beside her. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“I know it doesn’t,” she said, tugging at his grip.

“Evans-”

“Potter, let _go_ of my hand,” she said sharply.  James did as he was told, frowning at her expression.  “I don’t need _you_ to take care of me.”

She turned sharply and went straight into the classroom, leaving James frowning behind her.  Julia ran up to him, a placating look on her face.

“She knows, James… catch her when it’s not so fresh, yeah?”  She squeezed James’ shoulder reassuringly before following Lily into class.

Sirius was at his side next, followed by Remus and Peter.  “I think you were on to something, Prongs,” Peter suggested.

“Yeah?” asked James.

“Yeah,” Remus added.  “Someone should wash their mouths out.”

Sirius grinned. “I expect we can work something out,” he laughed, nodding towards the classroom and rubbing his hands together mischievously.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback and kudos. It really does mean a lot. I'm glad people are enjoying it!


	10. Mischief Managed

Mischief Managed

Song Stuck In my Head:  Mamma Mia - ABBA

Remus Lupin had always struggled with lying.  Or _maybe,_ Remus just had trouble lying to friends who were a bit too clever for their own good.

In their second year, Remus continued to hide the truth of what he really was to everyone, including James, Sirius, and Peter. He’d rehearsed excuses and stories so many times that by this point, he almost believed them himself.  His mother really _was_ sick.  His father desperately needed help at home.  It wasn’t until October of his second year that these stories started to fall apart.  

“If your mum is sick so often, _why_ isn’t she in Mungo’s?” asked Sirius as he played catch with himself on his four-poster bed.

“It’s not bad enough to hospitalize her,” he explained. “Mungo’s only takes the worst cases.”

“Why can’t your dad look after her?” asked James.

“He does.  I just like to be home.  I’m her _only_ son.”

“I’m an only son, too, and if I went home whenever my mum was sick and missed classes, she’d throw a wobbly,” said James. 

“Mine too,” Peter had added, suddenly becoming more interested in their conversation.

“My family’s… different,” was all Remus could come up with. 

“ _Bollocks_ ,” James replied flatly. 

Remus blanked.  He wasn’t used to being challenged.  “They just want me home for a bit, I don’t need to explain it to you.”

“Well, can I have a guess at what’s _really_ going on?” asked James.

“If you must,” Remus grumbled.

James looked to Sirius, who nodded once and rose to a seated position. James stood and crossed over to stand beside Remus’ bed.  He was less than a foot away from Remus’ face when he said, “ _You’re_ a _werewolf_.”

“No, I’m _not_ ,” scoffed Remus, attempting to be casual even as his face drained of color.

“No, I reckon that’s spot on,” Sirius added, tossing his ball to the side and jumping up to stand beside James.  “You always come back looking roughed up and sick,” he added.  “Worse than when you left, actually…”

“And it’s _every_ month on the _full moon_ that you turn up missing or ill,” James added.

Remus had swallowed heavily and shook his head. “No… that’s _not_ … you’re wrong.”

“And you’re a bad liar,” James had said.  “ _You’re_ a _werewolf_.”

Remus swallowed, staying still for a long time.  He said nothing.  Finally, he stood, pushing past them and over to where his trunk was.  He started pulling things out of drawers and putting them back in his trunk. 

Sirius scoffed.  “What d’you think you’re doing?”

“I’m … I’m leaving,” said Remus quietly.

“What for?” asked James, coming over and pulling a shirt from Remus’ hands.  They wrestled with it for a moment and when James won, he threw the shirt back into the wardrobe.

“Because… you’re right,” Remus admitted.  “You’re right…I’m…” his voice became very quiet and thick with shame.  “I’m a werewolf, and-”

“ _So_?  That’s no reason to go scarpering off somewhere,” Sirius laughed.

“Right,” said James.  “ _We_ don’t care,” he announced, speaking confidently for the other two boys in the room.  Sirius nodded in agreement, as did Peter, although he’d looked a little more nervous than Sirius or James did.

“ _What_?  You… come off it,” Remus scoffed, still packing his trunk.  “No one wants a werewolf around.  And even if _you_ don’t care, no one will want to be around me once they- “

“Who says we’re going to tell anyone?” Sirius scoffed.  “What kind of _friends_ do you think we are?”

Remus paused, stepping back when James slammed his trunk shut.  “Yeah, we’re not gonna rat you out! We don’t _care_ , we were just curious as to what you were getting up to every month, that’s all,” he said.

Remus swallowed, looking at James who had an amused expression on his face.  “You… you don’t care?”

“ _Nah_ , mate,” he said, clapping Remus on the shoulder. “It’s not like you chose it.”

Remus felt hopeful, he chanced a small smile at James who grinned back reassuringly. Sirius crossed the room again, eyeing Remus with a curious expression.  “’Course we have some questions,” he admitted.  “I mean, where _do_ you go?”

Remus wasn’t going anywhere right now.  Right now, he was standing by Lily watching her count ingredients and thinking about how he was not good at keeping things from James, Sirius, or Peter.  He wondered how Lily hid all she knew from Julia and Mary.  She’d not only been able to keep Remus’ condition and the existence of three unregistered Animagi a secret, but she’d managed to come up with cover stories on the spot every time Julia asked where she was going in the evenings.

“Watched Quidditch practice,” she’d said one night.  Another night it was “Slughorn wanted to ask me about my plans after Hogwarts.” She’d said she was “tutoring a few first years in Charms,” one afternoon and that she was “practicing with Professor Columba,” just last night.  Effortless and easily accepted.  It was almost unnerving how well she could lie.

“I’m not _lying_ ,” she’d explained to Remus.  “I really _have_ been doing those things, just not as long as I say I have been.”

“Where do you want me to meet you tonight?” he asked.  When they’d stolen ingredients from Slughorn’s stores, some of them had ended up in Remus’ bag until Lily found a place to brew the potion in secret.  Tonight, while everyone was distracted by the Halloween party, she was going to sneak up there and drop off the remaining ingredients so would be in place.

“Seventh floor across from that old tapestry with the trolls,” she explained.

“What room?”

“The room that’s right there.”

“No really, what room?”

“What do you mean ‘ _what room_?’”

Remus looked confused.  “There’s no room there.”

Lily laughed a little before returning his confused look.  “Um, yes there is. I’ve been taking stuff up there for the last few days.  My cauldron is in there, and all of my ingredients and-”

“No, there really isn’t,” he insisted. “We’ve been all over this castle. I’d _know_ if there was a room there.”

“Have you been charting it down as you go?” she teased.  “Are you making map?  A _Marauder’s_ Map?” 

Remus froze.  He knew she didn’t know about _that_ , James would never allow it.  She was just being witty.  “Perhaps.  Cartography could suit me as a profession.  But I swear there isn’t a room there.”

“You’ll see tonight,” she insisted.  “The door is a bit tricky to find, but it’s there.”

 _She must know what she’s talking about_ , he thought. “If it’s ineffective, it won’t be any different than a normal night, right?”

Lily nodded.  “That’s what Belby says.”

“What if you mix the ingredients wrong?” asked Remus in a worried voice.

“Then it’s poison… but I won’t,” she reassured him.  “Really, I won’t.  Potions are something I understand, and I’ve got the directions memorized.  Plus, Slughorn taught me a warming charm that he uses to for long simmering potions.  And there are all kinds of tests and spells you can do on it, it’ll be fine.  But…you don’t _have_ to take it if you don’t want to,” she reminded him.

“You’re putting in all this effort, it seems kind of unfair considering- “

“Considering nothing,” Lily interjected.  “This is your life, Remus, your body.  It’s your choice.”

He nodded.  “I’ll take it.  It’s worth a chance, right?”

She agreed.  After all, it was Halloween and they might as well take advantages of the few freedoms being offered.

It had been an interesting week leading up to Halloween.  No one had any sort of proof, but Lily _knew_ it was James, Sirius, and Peter who had managed to sabotage the bathrooms for Slytherin house.  The toilets regurgitated their contents and the sinks sprayed soapy water at _anyone_ who came in, whether they were using the facilities or not.  The Slytherins’ had also been late for class after the portrait guarding their dormitory had been bewitched to not let anyone in or out until they said “ _Please_ ” and “ _Thank you_.”

“Well, I did say the lot of them could stand to learn some manners.  Apparently, the portrait agrees with me,” was all Sirius had said when confronted with it.  The jinx had been well placed; it took Slughorn two days to undo it.

Someone had also jinxed several suits of armor to jump out at passersby and douse them in fake spiders, bats, or glitter.  Lily wasn’t sure if this had been students or the professors as Dumbledore had been highly amused by it. 

She and Remus managed to avoid the suits on their walk back to the Common Room. But not everyone was so lucky. Just after they got inside, Julia came storming in, Mary sniggering uncontrollably behind her.

“What happened?” asked Lily.

“She _squealed_ and threw a fit when that suit of armor at the bottom of the stairs got her,” Mary laughed, imitating Julia’s flailing and screaming. 

Julia pulled a fake spider out of her hair and glared at Mary. “Potter and Black is what happened,” she snarled.  “I _hate_ spiders.”

“ _Oi_ ,” Sirius called from the stair steps. “Who says it was Potter and Black?”

“It seems like the kind of thing you’d do,” Julia called back, still pulling fake spiders out of her hair.

“I suspect it could have been anyone… it may have even been _me_ ,” Sirius replied in an ironic tone as he walked down the stairs.  He looked serene in magnificent purple robes and was stroking a long white beard.  Glasses that looked just like James’ sat end of his nose. His normally coal black hair was greyish white and a large purple wizard’s hat sat lopsided on his head.

Julia grinned.  “If you’re going to dress like Dumbledore, you need to _act_ and _talk_ like Dumbledore all night.”

“I’m feeling that tonight, yes… tonight… that will not be a problem,” he mused, in a passible imitation of Dumbledore’s voice.  “And where, pray tell, is _your_ costume, Ms. Tottleham?”

“Got it on,” she explained, dramatically opening her cloak.  She was wearing a knee length dress covered in brown and white feathers.  The sleeves extended over her finger tips and spread out along her back to look like wings.  “Just have to get the mask.”

“May I enlist your services for the evening?” asked Sirius, stroking his beard. “It seems I may need the assistance of an owl if James Potter doesn’t return soon.”

“Yeah, where is he?” asked Peter as he came down the stairs.  He was dressed as a ghoul, face pale green color and clothes tattered up and covered in mud.  He’d transfigured his teeth so they were all different sizes, and somehow gouged large pockmarks into his skin.

“Nice work, Pettigrew,” Lily said admirably. 

“Thanks,” he grinned. 

Sirius considered him thoughtfully.  “Your spell work is improving, Mr. Pettigrew.  In short time I expect you will receive- “

“… only because you cleared this with me, Potter,” Alice’s voice was saying.  She and James stepped through the portrait hole.  Her face, neck, and arms were all grey and her short hair had been curled and had ivy leaves interspaced throughout the strands.  She was wearing a grey colored dress and sandals like those worn by a few of the statues throughout the halls. 

“All the other houses are throwing parties,” insisted James.  “It’s only fair, plus your _Head Girl!_   We can celebrate. It’ll be fun!”

“I know,” she agreed, sounding a little wary.  “I just don’t want any grief from McGonagall. Hopefully she’s in a cheery mood.”

“I heard a rumor that _Frank_ is stopping by,” he teased while Alice blushed.  “I expect that’ll make her happy.”

“Mr. Potter,” Sirius called in his Dumbledore voice.  “Ms. Fawley… I see you have gathered the requirements for the festivities?  We have Butterbeer, Honeydukes chocolate, sugar mice, blood pops… all the makings of a glorious celebration.”

“We’re having a party?” Julia said excitedly.

“A _small_ one,” Alice emphasized, still looking at Sirius.  “That’s brilliant, Black… it really is.”

Lily could see Sirius grinning smugly behind his beard and fought back a smirk.  “I’ll catch you down there, Jules,” she said before walking up the stairs.

“Oi, Evans!” James called, leaping after her and stopping just at the bottom of the staircase.  “Dinner?”

Lily paused, turning over her shoulder to look at his eager face.  “Save me a seat,” she replied a little shyly.

James nodded, looking hopeful.  “Better go and change,” he said, bounding across the room and snatching Sirius’ hat off his head as he went. Peter laughed and darted after him.

“ _Dear me_!” Sirius exclaimed, racing after James.  “Mr. Potter, it is essential that I have my hat!  I cannot function without my hat! It holds my brain in!” 

“I need to get changed too,” Mary muttered, rolling her eyes at Julia’s sniggering.  Remus had sat down in a chair and started looking over one of his books, but stood a few moments later and walked towards the boys’ dormitory. 

Julia cleared her throat loudly, catching his attention just as he started up the stairs. “You two were off together again,” she mused.

“You’re keen to find out what we’re up to,” he replied. “Which is nothing.  She helps me with potions.”

“Oh, she’s helping you with potions, is she?  Where have I heard something like _that_ before?” asked Julia.

“What-?” Remus began, a little confused.  “Do you think I’m off… _snogging_ her?” he scoffed incredulously.

“Well, I _thought_ you were saving that for Pitchfield,” Julia mused, “so I wasn’t sure… Lily _does_ think a lot of you, you know.”

“Not like _that_!” Remus protested.

“No. But, you two sneaking off together… it’s going to make James jealous,” she mused. 

He scoffed.  “Prongs isn’t going to get jealous of _me_.  He knows there’s nothing going on.”

“What is _Prongs_?” asked Julia, slightly irritated. “What is _Padfoot_ for that matter?  James _always_ calls Sirius that.”

“It’s the wet dog smell,” he muttered.  “He smells like a wet dog.”

“He does _not_ ,” laughed Julia.  “I’ve been close enough to smell him, and he doesn’t – “

“Speaking of which,” Remus pressed, “What is going on _there_?  Are you two- “

“We just _are_ ,” said Julia, cutting him off.  “I can’t explain it… not right now.”

Remus eyed her curiously.  “All right, then…”

Julia regarded him with a curious expression.  “Well, if you really _are_ getting help with potions, tell me you’ll brew a love potion antidote and just… keep it on hand.”

“I can do that,” Remus said, narrowing his eyes.  “Why would I need-?”

“I didn’t say it was for _you_ ,” Julia noted, walking towards the stair steps to the girls’ dormitory.  “But… I have a funny feeling this rumor that won’t go away is more than a rumor.”

Remus watched her go, making a mental note to repay Lily by keeping some love potion antidote on hand. 

* * *

Floating pumpkins decorated the ceiling of the Great Hall as students in costumes filled in. James was adjusting his dress robes and hat.  He was wearing his red Quidditch cloak and arm guards, and had managed to find an old doublet in one of the hidden passage ways.  He’d dyed it red and gold and conjured a sword to carry on his belt.  He’d also bewitched his hat to be tawny rather than black and a bit tattered looking.

“Look what it can do,” he said to Remus as they sat towards the front end of the Gryffindor table.  He placed the hat upon Remus’ head and waited.

“The mind of a wolf, the heart of a lion… _Gryffindor_!” the hat shouted, drawing some curious looks from the crowd around.

Remus laughed a little nervously while Sirius looked on impressed.  “Do me,” he said.

“I’d rather you buy me dinner first,” James replied, tossing the hat on Sirius’ head.

“Courage here… courage to stand by your convictions… _Gryffindor_!” his hat bellowed.  Several people at the Hufflepuff table crowded over and let James put it on their head.  Each time it made a random exclamation, then shouted the appropriate house for the wearer. 

“This is brilliant!” Sam Pitchfield was saying, placing her own hat back on her head after she’d tried James’ on.  “That’s impressive magic.”  She had dressed as Rowena Ravenclaw, wearing a blue cloak and midnight blue dress underneath with silver jewelry.

“It truly is,” said Dumbledore.  Even he’d come down to look at James’ hat, but ended up just looking over Sirius’ costume with an amused expression.  “They do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Mr. Black.  I am quite flattered tonight,” he noted.

“Thanks, Professor,” Sirius chuckled.  “I expect it’s the first time I’ve been able to do that.”

“Well, I’m sure it won’t be the last,” Dumbledore said with a wink.  “Mr. Potter, you and Ms. Pitchfield should get together with Mr. Mulciber and Ms. Dunford and take a picture, seeing as how the four of you are dressed as Founders of our school,” he mused.

“Er… yeah, sure,” said James.  Dumbledore walked away, and James leaned closer to Sam. “I’d rather face a regurgitating toilet than take a picture with Mulciber,” he muttered.

“Me as well,” Sam admitted.  “That trick with the sinks was brilliant, by the by.”

Sirius scoffed.  “I hope it washed a few of their mouths out,” he grumbled. 

Sam frowned a little.  “Yeah, he and Avery were after me the other day during Herbology,” she explained.  “ _’Let the Mudblood handle the Tentacula; dirty blood so it won’t bite her_.’”

“They’re idiots,” Remus said from across the table. 

“I know,” she murmured, smiling at him. “I like your costume, Newt Scamander.”

Remus smiled, messing up his ginger colored hair before he pulled out a bowtruckle he’d gotten from Hagrid.  Sam leaned close to get a better look, taking off her wizard hat so as not to frighten the little creature. 

“May I have everyone’s attention, please?” Dumbledore called from the front of the room, causing all the students to take their seats.  “Good evening to you all.  I’m very pleased to see so many taking advantage of the holiday to imitate their favorite characters, animals, beasts, and beings… you’ve all done a splendid job.

“I mentioned earlier in the year that any students who had experience with a musical instrument or wished to learn should approach Professor Columba.  Though there were only four, Professor Columba has been very pleased with their efforts to practice while keeping up with their studies. So, before we begin dinner, we’ve arranged for a short performance.  Professor Columba, you and your students have the floor.”

The tall astronomy professor stood, motioning to four students who were standing along the sidelines to come up.  Several people had climbed on top of the tables for a better look, making it hard to see who all was up there.

“Blimey, look at Evans,” muttered Peter, his eyes widening a little.  Sirius looked interested and Julia laughed when James stood straight up on top of the table.

Lily’s hair was braided delicately around the nape of her neck and she was wearing a gold dress that came to her knees and was slightly fitted at the waist.  The sleeves ran down her arms and there were pieces of translucent white fabric that ran from her shoulders down to her fingers to form wings. 

“She’s an… angel?” Mary asked Julia, who shook her head.

“No,” Julia said a little slyly.  “But I bet Potter can guess what she is, since he gave her the idea.”

“She’s a snitch,” he laughed a little, watching her with wide eyes as she fiddled with knobs on the side of the wooden instrument.  On the stage with her was Olive Carson from Ravenclaw, Leland Marchbanks from Hufflepuff, and a seventh-year girl with dark hair he didn’t recognize.  Lily put the wooden instrument under her chin and took out what looked like an extra-long wand.

“So, that’s a … violin?” he asked, watching as Julia nodded.

“Yeah,” Mary confirmed.

“And she never told any of you she played until this year?”

Julia laughed and shook her head.  “Not one of us.”

“I’m surprised I hadn’t figured it out…” James muttered.

“She’d only told _one_ other person from school.  _Why_ would _you_ know?” asked Mary.

“Because he’s been stalking the fox since third year,” Sirius shrugged.  Julia shot him a look.  “What?” he asked.  “You are too, and you know that, but Evans’ looks fit.”

James pursed his lips, looking back up at the stage where the four students were standing.  Lily and Leland both had violins, Olive had a slightly smaller one, and the other girl had a large instrument that she required her to sit in order to play.  The song they played was slow and deep, the contrasts in the instruments were nice to listen too.  The song didn’t last long, just a minute or two, but James watched Lily the entire time.  The way her eyes closed as she leaned into the instrument, how her body swayed as she played.  She seemed almost ethereal.

Everyone clapped when the song ended, and during the clapping James saw the unknown girl mouthing something to Lily. They both turned to Columba, who nodded and gestured for them to continue.

A broad smile broke out on Lily’s face as she pulled her violin to her chin again.  Leland seemed amused while Olive was overly focused.  The unknown girl also had a grin and James saw her count out a pattern before they started playing.

A few seconds in Sirius perked up, as did several others in the hall.  “I know this song,” said Remus suddenly, with a laugh.

“So do I,” chuckled Sirius.  “Heard it on the muggle radio a few times.”

“They’re playing a _muggle_ song?” asked Mary incredulously.

“Oh, now I recognize it,” said Julia.  “It’s that Swedish band.”

“What is it?” James asked a little more forcefully than he had intended. 

“I don’t remember the name… it’s … Abra? Something like that,” Julia replied, shaking her head trying to remember.

“I can’t remember, but I _know_ I’ve heard this song before,” said Remus.

James pursed his lips, listening to the melody and watching Lily intently.  She had a small smile on her face and closed her eyes when the song slowed, though it rarely did.  He had no way of knowing if she was good or not, but the song was pretty, and she seemed to really enjoy playing.

They ended the piece then stood and faced the crowd while students and teachers clapped for them.  “Thank all four of you for sharing that with us,” Dumbledore grinned.  “Now… the part that everyone has waited so patiently for… dinner.”

And with a wave of his hands food appeared at the table and everyone began pulling things onto their plates. There were so many choices: pumpkin crusted pork, roast beef, dark green peas with pearled onions, roasted red potatoes and green vegetables.  But none of it interested James.  He was watching Lily talk with the other members of her quartet, trying to keep his eyes fixed on her face instead of the parts of skin her dress left uncovered.  He _knew_ there was more hiding under those cloaks; there always was.  The Hogwarts dress code begged for impropriety, but Lily had always managed to look beautiful and graceful in them.   In this outfit she was beautiful and…

“A bit sexy, you think?” asked Sirius through a mouthful of food.  “You keep staring that way you might burn her clothes right off.”

James blushed a little, averting his eyes for a moment, then fixing them on her again as she made her way across the hall.  Linghold called out to her, as did Aubrey, and she stopped to speak with them and Pitchfield for a moment before winding her way to the Gryffindor table.

“Fantasizing about kissing her?” asked Mary in a whisper, pushing her cat ears back atop her head.

“Among other things,” Julia sniggered.

James made a face.  “What kind of a _deviant_ do you think I am?” he asked.  “Lily is a beautiful young lady and I have never had a single improper-”

“I think he’s picturing a bit more than kissing, if you ask me,” Sirius interjected with a laugh.  James opened his mouth to retort, but then closed it again when Lily sat down at the table.

“Nice job,” Remus said brightly.  “Whose idea was it to play a muggle song?”

Lily looked a pink and little breathless.  “Oh, _that_ ,” she laughed.  “That was actually Dorcas’ idea.  She mentioned she’d found sheet music for all sorts of muggle songs and we thought it’d be funny.  I wonder if anyone else recognized it.”

“These three knew it,” said Mary, gesturing towards Sirius, Remus, and Julia.  “But the rest of us were in the dark.”

“You sounded really good,” said James earnestly.

“Thanks,” she said, flashing him a brilliant smile.  James screamed a little inside.  “I saw your hat trick.  That’s really clever.”

“Want to try it?” offered James.

“Later,” she said, pulling a plate in front of her.  “Right now, I want to eat.”

James grinned and began to pull food onto his own plate.  They ate mostly in silence for a few minutes, someone punctuating it every so often with a question or a comment about the décor, the meal, or the performances beforehand.  Lily acted rather shy, which surprised James, but he couldn’t fault her for it.  In fact, he was feeling a bit awkward himself in his doublet and Quidditch robes.  He kept stealing furtive glances in her direction, admiring the cleverness of her costume and the way her skin seemed to glow in the candlelight.

“I like your costume,” he said after a while when he was starting to get full.

“I like it too,” she grinned.  “The dress was easy; the wings took _forever_ to get right.”

“I should have dressed as a Seeker,” he said.  “You’re exactly the type of snitch I’d like to catch.”

Lily smiled, her cheeks turning pink.  She fiddled with a small necklace she had on before looking at him.  “I’m surprised you’re the only Godric Gryffindor at our table.”

“Me too,” he agreed, looking around at the numerous lions, foxes, and other animals that were seated throughout the hall.  Some people in his house had went as the Wimbourne Wasps Quidditch team, a few others were vampires or zombies, but there were mostly animals at the Gryffindor table. 

“And Remus, the bowtruckle is nice,” she laughed as it peeked out of Remus’ suit pocket.  “What prompted Newt Scamander?”

Remus shrugged. “Magical creatures. I should learn how to care for myself,” he said very quietly.

Lily laughed and James grinned, feeling happy that she was in on the secret and the inevitable jokes.  James had noticed she’d been spending a lot of time with Remus as of late, but it was nice that he had another friend and Lily wasn’t interested in him.  He liked Pitchfield, Not Lily.  They’d just been hanging out a lot recently…

“Lils, who was the other girl?” asked Julia.  “I didn’t recognize her.”

“Neither did I,” James added, distracting himself from his strangely irritated thoughts. 

“That’s Dorcas Meadowes.  She’s in Slytherin, so it was kind of funny we had one person from each house that could play a string instrument. She’s got her moments where she’s… she likes to come out on top of things, but she’s actually _nice_.  I like her.”

James looked over at the Slytherin table.  Dorcas was seated next to one other girl and it seemed like they pretty much stuck together. The rest of their table seemed to shun them almost.

“She’s not… _Muggle-born_ , is she?” asked Peter.

“I don’t know what she is. Never asked,” Lily shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter,” mused James.  “I’m so used to the lot of them being horrible, but she didn’t look bad.”

“No, she’s really nice.  She and I had been playing the longest, so we had a lot to talk about.  It took me a while to warm up to her,” Lily admitted. “But now I like her a lot.  She stops me in the hall sometimes and we play together a lot.”

“Ah, well, the hat insists every year they aren’t _all_ bad,” Sirius said with a shrug. “And look at Slughorn, he’s not awful.”

Lily nodded in agreement, pulling one of the pumpkin pasties off the tray that appeared in front of them.  “So, what’s next?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but if it’s boring, we’ve got party supplies for the common room,” said James.

“Perfect,” Lily smiled.  “I could use some laughs after the week we’ve had.”

Everyone around them agreed, discussing the difficulty of classes and the overload of assignments that had been given on Friday.  James found himself staying quiet, still fixated on Lily and her costume.  He tugged at one of the wings and she eyed him over her shoulder.  “Took me ages to rig those up, Potter. I’ll hex you if you break them.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” he replied with a grin.  He looked up at her face, her bright green eyes.  A strand of hair had fallen onto her cheek.  She looked like some piece of artwork he’d seen, or some picture he’d found in one of the many muggle magazines Sirius kept hidden in his trunk. “You look _really_ … pretty,” he said, settling on the word that seemed least intense.  “I mean it, Lily.”

She sat up taller, looking pleased but also shy as she crossed her legs and leaned her chin in her hand to look back at him.  It was the first time James could remember using her name rather than just her surname.  “You look nice too, James.”

 _James_.  She’d said it, his _actual_ name. It was a whisper, but she’d said it none the less.  James could feel his stomach swoop almost uncomfortably, and for a second he wondered what the real allure of being attracted to someone was.  _There’s a lot more awkwardness than necessary_ , he thought to himself.  _A lot more stomach swooping_.  He wondered if it ever went away.

Then she smiled at him again, a little mischievous, a little sweet, all Lily Evans.  His heart raced in his chest and he wondered why he would ever want it to.

There was a bell like noise and everyone stood up.  The four long house tables disappeared and reappeared along the sides of the room, leaving a wide space in the middle.  James noticed a bobbing for apples station, pumpkin carving and painting, live bats available to hold and few other activities.

“ _Oooh_ , they brought a _band_ ,” said Julia excitedly, pointing up front where the table had been cleared and a small band was setting up.  “That’s _The Portkeys_!”

Alice, Marlene, and Court Huffton joined as they queued up along the edge of the floor.  “Yeah!” Marlene confirmed.  “Slughorn managed to get them to come; the guitarist is an old- “

“Student of his,” Lily finished with a laugh. 

“He’s always going on about that,” Marlene added.  “I like your costume, Lily.”

Lily grinned brightly.  “Thanks,” she said.  “I had no idea I’d get as much attention as I have been.”

“With legs like that people can’t help but stare,” Julia said to her in a whisper.  Lily blushed and gave Julia a glare over her shoulder.  James couldn’t help but grin. 

“I like this song,” Julia said suddenly, taking Lily by the hand and pulling her onto the empty floor.  It wasn’t empty for long, students of all houses began to fill in and form groups as the band began to play loud and fast. 

James couldn’t help but observe that most of the people dancing were girls, though there was a spattering of boys on the floor.  He grinned as he watched Julia and Lily amongst others.  Julia was singing loudly, and Lily was laughing while moving her hips and feet in time with the music.  Every now and then she’d put her arms over her head and James would notice how her dress flounced around her legs and the silvery sleeves would quiver just like a snitch’s wings.  Her hair was coming undone as she moved, but it made her more attractive somehow.

“ _Look at Linghold_ ,” Sirius was sniggering.  Max Linghold had joined the area where Lily and Julia were dancing and was attempting to do the same.  His arms were awkward and long and he couldn’t stay on beat, but they seemed to enjoy having him all the same.  Lily was laughing loudly and twirling every so often.  James felt a pang of jealousy when Linghold took her hand to spin her around.

“How many left feet do you think he’s got?” asked Sirius, still laughing.

“About twelve,” replied James.

“At least he’s _using_ them,” chuckled Mary from her seat next to Honora Price.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” asked Peter curiously from next to Sirius.

“It means at least he’s dancing,” said Mary, rolling her eyes.  “Girls _like_ boys who dance… it doesn’t matter if they dance well, at least they do it.”

James scoffed, watching as Bertram Aubrey joined in along with Leland Marchbanks, both crowding around where Julia, Lily, and now Marlene were dancing.  Court Huffton and Galen Middleset from Gryffindor were out there as well, looking tall and a little more rhythmic than the others.  James saw Sam Pitchfield jump in next to Lily and start moving around.  He looked around the sides of the room at everyone watching the crowd.  “Everyone’s staring at them… everyone would just stare at us.”

“Like you’re doing?” laughed Mary.  “Does it look like any of them care that people are watching?  No, because they’re not conceited sods.”

“ _’Scuse me_?” asked Sirius.

“If you _really_ think everyone is going to stop and just watch _you_ dance, you’re more arrogant than I thought,” replied Mary. “No one cares.”

“I _care_ ,” said James.  “I’m watching.”

“Because you _fancy_ her, Potter,” said Mary matter-of-factly.  “If you really _liked_ her, you’d be out there making a fool of yourself.”

James considered this, turning back to watch Lily laugh at Bertram Aubrey before taking his hands and allowing him to twirl her around in a weird pattern.  Another surge of jealousy raced through him.  He looked to Sirius, who also seemed to be weighing Mary’s words.  “Come on, then,” he muttered, pushing Sirius forward.

“Are you _mental_?” Sirius balked.  “I’m not- “

But he didn’t have much of a choice after that.  Julia saw them approaching and let out a squeal of delight, grabbing Sirius by the hand and pulling him in close to her.  She started to move, and James let out a laugh when Sirius couldn’t help but mimic her and move along.  Pushing his awkwardness aside, he started to do the same, ignoring his stomach when it did a nose dive as Lily laughed at him and continued dancing. 

Four songs passed.  James was lucky enough to twirl Lily similarly to how Bertram had done.  She’d had to give him some guidance, but he’d managed well enough.  She was breathtaking now: cheeks flushed and strands of hair tumbling down over her bare shoulders.  Her eyes sparkled, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face when she looked at him.  James thought to himself that he’d dance like an idiot every day if it made her smile like that.

The music began to slow, and the nature of the song changed.  Lily looked a little breathless, pushing her hair out of her face and laughing.  “I’ve _got_ to get a drink,” she said breathlessly. 

Julia nodded, unable to quit smiling as Sirius took her by the waist and moved her away from the crowd.  Linghold picked up on the tone of the song before James did.  “Come back and we’ll dance,” he suggested, pushing past James to catch Lily’s hand.  James’ chest filled with irritation; he wanted to hex Max with every curse he could think of.

“Oh, I’m going to sit for a minute,” she said, pulling her hand away.  “I’m _so_ thirsty…”

She gave him a gentle smile, eyes flashing to James for just a moment, then she began to walk back over to where the tables were, right towards where Remus and Peter were standing talking to Emmet Greenfield.  James made to follow her, but someone seized his hand.

“Oi, Potter,” laughed Felicity Flockheart, her feather clad hand squeezing his.  “I didn’t know you danced.”

“Neither did I until just now,” he admitted, still watching Lily.  She downed a whole glass of pumpkin juice, then went back for another.

“Dance with me,” said Felicity, tugging his sleeve for attention.  James pursed his lips and looked at her. She looked pretty in a mask like Julia’s, except her feathers were all black where Julia’s were many colors.  The eyes of the mask were also sharper, more discerning. 

“A raven?” asked James curiously.

“Seemed fitting,” she mused.  “Dance with me.”

“All right,” said James, taking Felicity by the waist.  

“Besides, someone’s going to spike her potion at some point, so she might be a bit- “

“Hang on, this rumor keeps popping up,” James interrupted. “What is it?  Where did it come from?  Why does everyone think _I’d_ have been the one to do that?” he asked, a little angrier than he intended.

Over at the table, Lily had downed three glasses of pumpkin juice but still wasn’t satisfied.  “Why can’t they just have _water_?” she asked.

“D’you not have a wand?” Mary laughed.

“Oh… right,” said Lily, pointing her wand at her cup and filling it with water.  She drank deeply, thankful for the cool, clear taste over the sugariness of the pumpkin juice.

“Hey, Mary, care to dance?” asked Peter.  Mary nodded, looking rather pleased. 

They walked onto the floor by where Sirius and Julia were, placing hands around shoulders and waists as you do when you’re dancing.  Lily smiled at the four of them, then her face fell into a bit of a frown when she saw James dancing with Felicity.  Their conversation looked animated.  Felicity was laughing and shaking her head and James was being very insistent about something.

“You know… that doesn’t mean anything,” Remus said quietly.

“What?  I … I know. I don’t _care_ ,” she muttered, averting her eyes back to the table.  Remus was grinning at her. “What?  I don’t!  I _really_ don’t care at all.  I couldn’t care less.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” he laughed.

“You should go dance with Sam,” she suggested, looking around for her tall blue hat.

“She’s over there with Rollingsfield,” he replied, gesturing to the far side of the hall. 

“Hmmm,” Lily murmured.  “You know… that doesn’t mean anything.”

Remus laughed.  “I know… or I _don’t_ know, I guess.  It’s not like it matters anyway.”

“What do you mean?” asked Lily, curious.

“It’s not as though I… have a choice here,” he muttered sadly.  “I can’t… I couldn’t _tell_ her.  It would disgust her… _I_ would disgust her.”

“Remus,” Lily said, her voice sad as she put a hand on his arm.  “I think you underestimate- “

“You know, this might be a better time to sneak up there,” he suggested, changing the subject.  “You think?”

Lily considered this, looking around. Everyone was distracted, no one would notice them slip off.  “Okay, lets,” she nodded, shooting one more glance at James and Felicity before following Remus out of the hall.

The song was slowing to a finish, and James had dropped his hands from Felicity’s waist but stayed close so he could listen to the rest of her story. “So, that’s the what the gossip is,” Felicity finished, detailing the ever-expanding rumor of someone trying to sip Lily, or several other girls in school, a love potion.

“But how did _I_ get attached to it?” asked James as the song ended.

“Because it’s wobbly obvious you fancy her,” Felicity laughed.  “Don’t know why, but you do… and when people saw you being friendly together it just took off.  Though, I don’t know _who_ started it to be honest.” 

James frowned, thanking Felicity for the dance before walking over to were Sirius and Julia were looking at each other mischievously.  They walked back to the tables together, James scanning the hall for Lily’s gold dress. 

“If you’re looking for her she left with Remus,” said Alice from a table nearby.  She was sitting glancing anxiously at the entry way to the hall, obviously looking for Frank Longbottom who had promised he’d visit her soon.

“What?  Why? When?” asked Sirius curiously.

Alice shrugged.  “Ten minutes ago?  I bet they just went back to the common room.”

Julia seemed to accept this and sat down next to Alice, pulling Sirius with her.  James frowned and stared at the entry way as well. _Why_ would they go back to the common room _together_ when everyone else was down here?

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this dancing stuff,” said Peter from beside him.  “There’s _way_ too many places to put your hands… or only a few places you _can_ put your hands.  The whole thing is a bit handsy for me.”

James nodded in agreement, but that’s what he _liked_ about dancing.  It was nice to have your hands on a girl’s waist.  He’d like to have had his hands, or arms, around _Lily’s_ waist if he could.  “Come on,” he murmured, striding behind the tables and out of the Great Hall.

“Where’re we going?” asked Peter excitedly.

“To find where Moony scarpered off too,” he said.  Just then, he remembered he had brought the parchment with him that had the map on it.  It was still a bit fussy, but it worked _some_ of the time.  James tapped it with his wand, muttering the unlocking phrase they had charmed into it.

“Why d’you have the map?” asked Peter.  “It won’t help us… it still fussy.”

“I think I figured it out, finally,” said James.  “But… not until right now…” he explained as all the charms he’d been reading over the last fortnight flooded into his head. 

James and Peter stared at the map, watching as letters blossomed out like ink stains, forming hallways and secret passages.  Lines settled into formation to form statues and sculptures, outlines of rooms and secret passage ways.  Blots of ink and tall lines representing trees, little circles for Hagrid’s hut and the paddocks around it, a giant oval for the quidditch pitch…  The tracing spell repeated over and over again to form outlines of all the buildings, rooms, and passages in the castle and on the grounds…

“ _Homonculous_ _Revelio_ ,” James murmured, tapping his wand over the room that represented the Great Hall.  To his and Peter’s delight, footprint shaped ink blots appeared throughout the Great Hall.  Not only that, they were _moving_.  Shuffling about in a giant mass, sometimes blocking other footprints so it was confusing to see how many people there were. 

“ _Homonculous Revelio Maxima_ ,  _Homonculous Revelio Infinitum_ ,” James murmured, tracing his wand along the hallways and edges of the map, causing more ink blots to appear, more foot prints, scuffling little patterns all throughout the castle.

“James that’s bloody _brilliant_ ,” said Peter in awe.  “Bloody… it’s too bad they don’t have tags.”

“Right,” James agreed, tapping his wand thoughtfully against his lips.  “I wonder… _Nomen Revelare_ _Maxima_ ,” he murmured.  It took a moment, but a few names appeared by some of the foot prints, though the letters all overlapped in the Great Hall which made it hard to read.  “ _Reperio_ ,” James continued, tapping the map in various places.  As the footprints moved, so did the names, a few sputtering in and out of view. 

“We’ll make it prettier later,” said James, frowning at the splotchy name tags. 

“ _There_ ,” Peter blurted out, jabbing his finger into the parchment.  “There’s Moony…”

James peered at the set of footprints.  “Why’s he on the seventh floor with Evans?”

* * *

“… around here somewhere,” Lily was muttering as she paced back and forth in front of the wall.  Remus stood with his bag slung over his shoulder, watching her with a little frown.  He was starting to wonder if she had lost it, if there even _was_ a room. He’d told her there wasn’t.  She’d paced back and forth in front of the blank wall at least three times now.

“ _Ha_!  Found it,” she cheered, grasping a long handle that seemed to appear out of nowhere.  Lily pushed a heavy stone door open, and Remus gaped in shock, following her in to a small room he’d never seen before. It had a bench and a table along the wall.  Behind the table was shelf of cauldrons, burners for heating them, and a plethora of potions ingredients.  Lily took the bag from him and stuck the ingredients on the shelf with the other ones, taking an inventory as she went.

“What _is_ this place?” asked Remus.

“It’s just a room, isn’t it?” Lily replied.  “I just happened upon it when I was looking for a place to brew this quietly.  I thought I was going to have to use the empty girls’ bathroom on the first floor, but then I found this when I was wondering around.”

“But… how did we get in?  You couldn’t find the door at first…”

Lily shrugged.  “It’s almost like it’s… hidden. Maybe it’s supposed to be.  Maybe we’re not supposed to be in here.  When I first came in here there were no ingredients on the shelves, just the cauldrons.  But if you feel along the wall for the handle it you eventually find it.”

She finished her inventory then handed Remus his bag back.  “I think that’s it…  the full moon is on the 21st right?”

“Yes,” he said.  “I can’t say I’ll be much help...”

“It’s no trouble,” she said brightly, walking toward the door.  “We’ll just see how it goes.”

She pulled the heavy door shut and Remus looked back at it as they walked away. “That’s a funny little room,” he muttered.

Lily laughed.  “It’s just a potions’ brewing room, or I suppose you could use it – _Gah_!” she yelped as another body came around the corner and collided with her.

“ _Hey_!” James shouted, catching Lily by the waist as he steadied himself against the wall.  They had run right into each other, while Peter and Remus had collided just after them.  Remus was helping Peter up off the floor now as Lily righted herself.  “What are you doing up here?” James asked.

“What are _you_ doing up here?” asked Lily incredulously. 

“Were you up here… _snogging_?  Were you _snogging_ each other?” asked Peter scandalously, looking at Remus with a confused expression. 

James looked stricken. Peter had been prattling on about all the time she’d been spending with Remus as of late, wondering if since Lily knew about him, accepted him, and _liked_ him, maybe Remus had decided to go after her instead of wistfully longing for Sam Pitchfield.  James had said Remus wouldn’t do this… Remus wasn’t like that… Remus-

“ _No_!” shouted Remus, giving Peter and James a confused look.  “ _No_!”

“ _No, we haven’t_!” Lily yelped at the same time, a laugh bubbling out of her throat.  “Of _course_ not!  Not that… Remus, you’re very handsome and all that but-“

“No, it’s okay,” he interrupted, giving her a knowing glance.  “Feeling is mutual.”

“Oh,” said Peter, suddenly looking sheepish. 

“Then what _are_ you doing up here?” asked James, looking from his friend to Lily.  He realized he still had his hands on her waist and dropped them mess with his hair.  “You snuck out-“

“She was teaching me how to brew the antidote to a love potion,” said Remus quickly, looking to Lily for confirmation.

“Yeah,” she nodded.  “That rumor is still about, and I thought… might be good to have some on hand.  I wanted to make sure I got it right, so I asked Remus to help me.”

“Since when do you need help with Potions?” asked James skeptically.  “Since when are you _good_ at Potions?” he asked Remus.

“ _Hey_ ,” he scoffed.  “I got an E. I can brew an antidote.”

“I’m not saying that… you’re just always on about how you hate it and-

“I thought about asking _you_ ,” Lily interrupted, hoping to distract James.  “But I worried you might tell me I was barmy and to not worry about it, or that I was worried _you_ were going to slip me one.”

“I would have helped you,” said James earnestly.  “I would have- you know I’m _not_ , right?  I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know,” Lily replied.  “But you also had Quidditch practice and other things going on, so I just asked Remus to help while we were on Prefect duty.”

She began to walk away, and James watched her as she went.  “We’d better get back to the party before anyone else starts looking,” she said matter-of-factly.

Remus nodded in agreement, starting forward with Peter at his heels. James caught up with him a moment later.  “You really _weren’t_ snogging her?”

“ _No_ ,” Remus stressed.  “No… why would you think I’d do that to you?”

James shrugged. “Maybe she fancies you. Maybe she…  you don’t hound after her or stalk her, after all.”

“Linghold doesn’t do that either and she doesn’t fancy him.”

“Yeah, well Linghold is a prat,” James asserted.  “You’re not.”

“She doesn’t _like_ me, Prongs,” Remus assured him.  Why were you dancing-“

“She just _grabbed_ me,” sputtered James.  “I didn’t want to be rude.  She’s so… forceful.”

“Who’s forceful?” asked Lily, slowing her pace so she could walk beside James.

“Flockhart,” he replied.  “I would have come with you two if I’d known you were going somewhere, but…she grabbed me, and I didn’t want to be rude.”

Lily smiled a little.  “You’re very polite.  She can be forceful; she likes to have her way, I think.  Have you ever seen her in Charms when she can’t get something?  She throws a right little tantum.”

James chuckled, thinking he’d have to pay a little more attention to Felicity in Charms.  Though he knew he wouldn’t do this as Lily was the only one ever watched in that class.  They reached the Great Hall to find it emptier than before; just a few stragglers remained around the edges, and a few dancers left out on the floor.  A new song had just started.  It was languid and sweet. 

“Should we close it down?” James asked Lily, offering his hand. His stomach swooped again when she fixed her green-eyed gaze on him.  James noticed her cheeks were a little pink, which somehow made her even more attractive.

“Yes, lets,” she replied, smiling brightly and taking his offered hand.  They walked close to the stage, tucked in a corner far away from the other remaining stragglers.  For the second time this year, James Potter had managed to get Lily Evans alone… or, at least, alone with no one in the immediate area around them.  

He took her by the waist, holding one of her hands in his like he’d seen his dad do with his mum, and pulled her very close.  She inhaled a little fast, offering a shy smile as they slowly turned on the spot.  Lily was shaking just a bit, or was that him? He stared at her eyes, suddenly feeling immensely nervous about the state of his hair, and his lopsided glasses, _and_ the old-fashioned doublet he was wearing with the red robes, and the hat… the stupid-

“I never did try on your hat,” she mused. 

“It would just yell at you that you’re a Gryffindor,” he said dismissively.  “You already know that.”

“Well, still… its impressive magic.”

James nodded, pleased at the compliment.  “You can play the violin; you make your own costumes… I’m not the only one who’s impressive.”

She grinned at him.  “No, you’re not I suppose. Good of you to realize it.”

It was James’ turn to laugh.  “I realize it a lot more than I let on.”

He let go of her hand for a moment to push a strand of hair out of her face.  She flushed and tucked it behind her ear.  “You’re… your eyes are mesmerizing,” James said quietly.

She looked startled.  Pleased, but startled.  “That’s a big word for ‘green’, Potter.”

“I mean it… it feels like the right word,” said James, looking a little pink in the cheeks himself.  “You look at me and I feel like my insides are in the wrong place.”

“Why?” she asked, suddenly serious.  “I would like to know why.  And don’t say my eyes, or that I’m pretty.  That’s nice – I mean… It’s _really_ nice, thank you, but… I’m curious as to why-”

“Why I keep persisting?”

“Yes,” Lily confirmed.  “Especially since I was never anything but dismissive toward you prior to this year.”

 James shrugged a little uncomfortably.  “I couldn’t tell you… I mean, I _could_.  I could give you a lot of adjectives as to why I fancy you:  smart, energetic, witty, funny… _kind_ … but I don’t think you want that as an answer,” he said, watching her nod in confirmation.  “I mean... it started, _obviously_ , because you _are_ so pretty…and maybe I kept at it because you … you’ve always been the _one_ _thing_ I can’t have.”

“I’m _not_ a possession,” Lily replied sternly.

“That’s not… that’s not what I meant, I know that,” James assured her. “I just fancy you… why _wouldn’t_ I fancy you?  Let’s try it a different way.  You tell me why I _shouldn’t_ fancy you,” he suggested.

Lily looked a little alarmed. She didn’t really know how to respond.  “Well, I’ve turned you down countless times.  I’ve called you names, I’ve… boxed you on the ears after you sent me those singing flowers-“

“I kind of deserved that,” he admitted. 

“I can’t imagine _still_ fancying someone after all that,” she finished.  “It was perfectly clear that I wasn’t interested.”

James considered this thoughtfully, then looked back at her with a rueful little smile.  “I knew you weren’t, but I couldn’t exactly shut it off… especially since we kind of live together and you are in all of my classes.  But this year – er… _last_ year, things changed?  _Maybe_?”

Lily blushed as she considered this.  “They did… I don’t hate you.  I mean, I never _hated_ you, but I think you are less of a bullying toerag now.”

“Here’s something,” said James, taking her hand again.  “You didn’t flip out when you found out about Moony.  You didn’t nark me out about being an Animagus.  _That_ … it proved I was right.”

“Right about what?” she asked. 

“Right that you are loyal, and trustworthy.  I _trust_ you… even if you boxed my ears, I trust you.  And… when you look at me my insides feel like they’re in the wrong place.”

“It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?” she asked with a small grin.

James shrugged.  “It’s not bad. It’s nice sometimes.  Like… when you smile at me, or when you let me dance with you.  Then it’s nice.”

Lily grinned and shook her head a little.  She chewed her lip as she looked up at him again.  James swallowed.  There was this electricity in between them he couldn’t place.  He felt it when they were on the broomstick.  He dropped her hand and placed both his on her waist; she linked her fingers together around his neck.

James swallowed again. “Can I kiss you?”

“ _What_?”

“ _What_?” he squealed in reply, watching Lily back away from him a bit.  “I…well…I mean… _that’s_ not the way to do it, is it? That’s… that makes it awkward.  This is awkward now.”

Lily chuckled, her face so red she blended in with her hair.  “Uh… a little bit, yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” He frowned, feeling heat all over his neck and cheeks. “I should have just gone for it, ‘eh?”

“Er…” Lily grimaced, though she didn’t know why.  She _had_ gotten much closer to him since school started; ever since the train ride home last year actually.  He wasn’t all bad, he wasn’t even a _little_ bad.  Rebellious and mischievous maybe, but not _bad_.  She’d seen he was loyal, and kind, and fiercely protective of those he cared about.  He was funny, he was clever, he was… a little adorable with his lopsided glasses and his messy hair.  James’ cheeks were red, and he looked, for the first time Lily had ever seen, rather unsure of himself.  She chewed her lip.  Why _shouldn’t_ she want him to kiss her?

“Better not, huh…” said James, responding to her silence.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “Maybe… maybe we should just go up,” Lily suggested, pulling away from his arms. She felt sad, but didn’t really understand why.

“Yeah,” said James.  “I ruined it, didn’t I?  That was a moment.”

Lily shrugged.  “You didn’t… _ruin_ anything, James.  You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

James messed up his hair even more, shaking off the feeling of despair creeping over him.  He glanced at Lily as they walked up the stairs, a grin spreading across his face.  “I’m growing on you, though… right?  _Right_?” he teased.

“You _were_ ,” she warned.  “You were cute just now. Don’t push it.”

James chuckled, watching her fight back a grin.  Maybe the next time there was a moment he wouldn’t ask; he’d just kiss her. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, things are picking up a little bit :)


	11. Dog Star

**Dog Star**  
Song Stuck In My Head: Over My Head – Fleetwood Mac

* * *

 

“Oi, Prettygirl,” Mulicber sneered as the other Slytherins around him laughed.  “You lost?  Where’re your boyfriends?”

“Not lost… too bad about your eyesight, though,” Peter replied, pausing as he looked back at James. “It’s a shame you can’t spot what an actual girl looks like.”

“Yeah,” said James as he joined him.  “The hair could confuse you, but the breasts… ‘course, I’m not surprised you can’t recognize actual breasts, seeing as how you’ve never been near them.”

“Like to snuggle up to them at night, then, Potty?” asked Avery from his spot next to Snape.

“Better that then ungluing myself from Snivellus’ greasy sheets,” James shrugged as they walked away. “Be sure to watch out for that nose, Mulciber. You could lose an eye!”

James and Peter walked away, they distracted the group of Slytherin’s enough to allow Sirius to sneak down the hall behind them, arms full of Dungbombs and dry-start firecrackers.  Everyone was out on the grounds right now, enjoying the first day of sunshine they’d had in quite a while, but James and Sirius felt it was time to remind Slytherin house how much they stunk. 

Sirius raced into the common room under James’ cloak, feeling mildly appalled at the shade of green but intrigued by the underwater view of the lake they had.  He hid the firecrackers in the cushions of couches and chairs, snuggled in close to the Dungbombs. When the there was enough friction to set off the firecrackers, the Dungbombs would explode as well.  The smell would seep throughout the whole area, dousing not only the person who’d set it, off but anyone who happened to be standing near them.  Once everything was in place, he scrambled out of the dungeon and back outside, whistling merrily to himself as he went.

“Did you manage it?” asked James eagerly.

“I expect it’ll be an interesting night,” he grinned.  “Did you tip off Filch?”

“Yes,” Remus nodded.  “Told him I’d heard the Slytherin’s liked to wander the corridors late at night and it was hard for the prefects to catch them since the dungeons are so far down, but his office was closer… he’d surely have a chance.  Perhaps if we’re lucky he’ll get hit as well.”

“Him and that barmy cat of his,” James laughed.  “ _Excellent_.  Black Birthday festivities are done.  Breakfast will be enjoyable tomorrow.”

Sirius nodded, his eyes on Remus.  “You all right, Moony?  You’re looking a little peakier than usual.”

Remus shrugged.  “Haven’t felt well today,” he muttered.  “It’s a harvest moon this month, sometimes everything feels … strange the whole time.”

“You’ve got three weeks!” said James.  “A distraction is what you need.  Want to go stalk Pitchfield?”

Remus shook his head, getting to his feet.  “Not today,” he murmured.

“What’s on, mate?” asked James sincerely.  “You look downright … nervous.  Not depressed, nervous.”

Remus shrugged.  “I’m just not feeling well,” he explained, hopping to his feet and walking back towards the castle.

James watched him go with a concerned expression on his face.  Sirius shook his head.  “Let him go… we’ll find him later.”

“What do you suppose he’s stuck on?” asked James.

“Didn’t you hear?” asked Peter.  “Sam and Hugo Macmillan are going to Hogsmeade together this weekend.”

“It’s just Hogsmeade,” said James with a frown.  “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Macmillan?” snorted Sirius.  “She can do better than him.  He’s clever and all but he can be a pompous arse.”

“It’s hard to like someone from another house,” said Peter. “I mean… she _likes_ Moony, but they never get to see each other.  Maybe she’s moved on.  Everyone seems to be coupling up right now.”

“Well, it’s not as though she has much to choose from in her house,” said Sirius.  “Linghold – prat.  Rollingsfield – tosser.  Aubrey – sneaky little twat.  I don’t know how he didn’t end up in Slytherin.”

“My Mum was a Ravenclaw,” said James.  “It’s not like it _can’t_ happen.  Why doesn’t Moony just ask her out?”

“I reckon he would… he just doesn’t think he can,” replied Sirius.

“Why not?” asked James.  “She wouldn’t care.”

Sirius laughed a little.  “Not everyone is Evans, or us for that matter.  You forget that, Prongs.  Pitchfield could learn of it and freak out,” he explained. 

James frowned.  _Everyone should be like us_ , he thought.  The world would be a better place.  It might be arrogant, but it would be better. They hated the Dark Arts and Death Eaters and the war going on.  They welcomed anyone into their midst no matter their blood or being status.  They were clever and creative and funny… these were all qualities everyone should possess.

“Hang on,” he said, coming out of his reverie.  “Back up to that bit about coupling?  Who’s coupling?”

“Jules and I, though it’s not _official,_ I suppose.  You and Evans are about two seconds from a hook up…”

“Not exactly,” said James with a frown.

“She still turning you down?” asked Peter.

“Not… _exactly_.  I don’t know what’s going… she’s barely spoken to me since the Halloween do,” admitted James.  “Won’t look at me… stopped flirting.”

“Well, you asked if you could kiss her,” Peter sniggered.  “You should have just gone for it.”

James frowned.  “I thought… I’d rather ask then get boxed on the ears again,” he muttered.

“Maybe you could send her singing flowers again,” suggested Sirius.

“No, she didn’t like that.  She likes it when I make her laugh… but not… I don’t feel like going and making a prat of myself because I don’t think she likes that either.  I don’t know what to do,” James admitted.

“Have you tried _talking_ to her?” asked Sirius with a grin.  “ _Talking_ … not flirting. Just talking to her.”

“What do I say?”

“Oh, I don’t know… you’ve lots of classes going on and she seems pretty interested in them.  You could ask her about Slughorn’s Christmas Do and who she’s taking.  You could prod her for what Julia says about me when they’re whispering to each other in their knickers after they have pillow fights.”

“Let’s not talk about them having pillow fights in their knickers,” said James wearily.  “I’m still trying to get the image of her in that snitch costume out of my head.”

“You could take her flying,” suggested Peter.

James considered him.  “That’s not a bad idea… I could bring up that we never finished what we left off, see if she wants to come down after Quidditch practice…”

“Yes… where she’ll find you sweaty and sexy, or just… sweaty and not want to touch you,” Sirius laughed as James punched him in the arm. 

Across the grounds from where they were talking, Lily and Julia were walking back towards the castle to head to dinner.  They were close, though Julia kept having to sprint to keep up as Lily would start walking faster at random moments.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Julia was asking.

“I mean _I_. _Don’t_. _Know_ ,” she groaned.  “I don’t know!”

“How can you not know?  Maybe _I_ should kiss you to find out what you’d do,” grumbled Julia.

“You know, you’re the last person on earth who should be lecturing me about this,” Lily spat.  “You’ve been snogging and doing who knows what else with Sirius since the beginning of the year, but you don’t know what’s going on… you won’t put a label on it or- “

“Why does everything have to have labels?”

“ _I_ think he cares about you,” Lily said forcefully.  “He acts like he does.”

“He does not,” Julia scoffed.  “He’s just messing about… he knows we’re just- “

“Why can’t you just say you care about him?  Or let him care- “

“You _know_ why,” Julia said darkly.  “You _know_ … And I’m not going to talk about it.”

“If that’s the case, don’t you think he deserves to know?” asked Lily.

Julia frowned and looked guilty for a second, then rallied and shook her head.  “He’ll get tired of me before then,” she insisted.  “And we’re not talking about that anyway… we’re talking about the fact that you don’t know how you would have responded if Potter would have just kissed you!”

Lily huffed and walked faster, angry at the incessant questioning.  She didn’t know what was going on, but she didn’t like it. She didn’t like fighting the uncontrollable urge to talk to Potter during class, or send him cheeky little notes.  She didn’t like fighting the urge to flirt with him, or look at him when he wasn’t watching. 

It was when he wasn’t watching that he was most fascinating.  He was laid back and … _cool_ , for lack of a better word.  He would laugh and play with his friends; when he and Max weren’t competing for her attention they would act out Quidditch maneuvers and show off various techniques.  James was smart, he was clever, and he was actually very kind.  He’d shown her this kindness in a number of ways: when she’d found out about Remus, he’d been concerned about her well-being even though he was angry.  He’d offered to teach her to fly and didn’t laugh when she admitted she was afraid.  When she really started paying attention, she realized he either wasn’t near the bully she thought he’d been, or… perhaps he’d grown up a bit.

“I just can’t believe you don’t know what you would have done,” Julia continued, interrupting her thoughts.  “There’s only two choices, really: kiss him back, or box him on the ears like you did in fourth year.”

“I don’t want to do that,” she said earnestly.

“Then, the alternative- “

“Those aren’t the only two choices, you know.  I could push him away, I could slap him, I could scream…”

Julia considered this. “I suppose… but what reason do you have not to kiss him back?”

“Loads.  He’s an arrogant little git at times, he’s still constantly getting in trouble- “

“Not … constantly,” Julia corrected. “It’s been ages since he’s been in detention.  Sirius was whining the other night about how tame things have been around here.”

Lily sighed acquiescingly.  She was now focusing all the times she’d saw Potter and the others bully someone.  All the times they’d tormented Bertram Aubrey or someone else; all the times they had hexed Snape for no reason.  _For no reason_!

Or had there been a reason?  Bertram could be very manipulative, and he’d done a few things that Lily thought were a bit bullying as well.  And Snape… it’s not as though Snape had been innocent in the situation either. He was constantly looking for a way to get them into trouble.  Constantly on about them as though he could think of nothing else. 

And now that he and Lily had parted ways, Snape’s friends seemed like they were less inhibited with their own bullying.  She’d seen them jinxing first years, hexing her friends, wandering about the halls talking about the war as though it were some adventure they were missing out on and not an atrocity.  Laughing at the news reports of horrific attacks that came in almost daily.  

Just the other day the Prophet had reported an attack on a London suburb.  A fog had rolled in and amidst it three people went missing. Six others were killed in horrific ways, and a few others had been taken in to the hospital, unable to speak or recount what they had seen.  Lily heard mutterings about everything from giants to Dementors to Unforgivable Curses and worse.  It made her sick to think about it.

“Oh, _yes_ ,” said Julia suddenly, opening her arms to catch the owl that swooped down out of the skies.  Lily recognized him as Julia’s Gerard, with sharp golden feathers and discerning eyes that looked her over before he allowed Lily to pet his feathers.  Julia took the package from his claws and set him on her shoulder, greedily tearing open the paper.

“What’s that?”

“Birthday present,” she said.  “I’ve got to wrap it.”  She pulled out a necklace made a rope with two charms attached.  One was a silver group of stars clustered together, the other was a dog-shaped. 

Lily’s heart started to beat very fast.  “What’s with the dog?” she asked a little angrier than intended.

“What do you mean?” laughed Julia.  “His name is Sirius…”

“Yeah?”

“Did you learn _nothing_ in Astronomy?” Julia said, letting Gerard hop onto her arm and nip her nose affectionately before flying off.  “Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky, it’s in the _Canis Major_ constellation.  He’s named after a _star_ in a _dog_ constellation…”

“Oh,” said Lily, recalling vague information about the constellation.  “Well, that… that makes sense then, yeah…”

Julia laughed and shook her head.  “The other is part of the Orion constellation, since that’s his middle name.”

“Sirius Orion… his parents must be traditionalists,” she mused.

“Among other things,” Julia replied darkly.

“Does he ever talk about them?”

Julia shook her head.  “No, and I don’t ask.  I mean… he _ran away_ to James’ house last summer, didn’t he?  It must have been bad.  He has a brother, but I don’t even know his name.”

Lily frowned, and they continued walking.  They had just passed by through the entry way when a foul smell overwhelmed them both.  Julia scowled and covered her nose and mouth with her hands.  “What in the Hell- “

“Not our doing!” a seventh-year student named Rowle was yelling.  “Someone rigged it and- “

“ _No excuses_!” Filch was shouting, covering his nose as more students passed them.  The smell got worse as they filed out of hallway that led to the Slytherin common room.  “Magic in the halls- foul… foul _prank_ items!  You’ve gotten _Mrs. Norris_ and she’ll have to have a bath!” he wailed.  “I won’t stand for this – it’ll be – “

“We didn’t do this!” Yaxley shouted!  “Someone must have planted Dungbombs and- “

Julia sniggered behind her hands and Lily, who had covered her mouth and nose with her robes fought back a laugh.  Several other students had come in from outside and were now gagging and making faces over the smell.  It hung in the air, you could almost see the cloud of stench.  Several people began laughing as Filch continued to scream for Slughorn and the Slytherin students balked and shouted back.

“Merlin’s great beard,” Sirius’ voice called as he, Pettigrew, and Potter came through the entry way.  “It’s called a bath, you lot should try one every now and again.”

“Too right,” said Peter.  “Best not linger, I can feel my robes absorbing that odor.”

“Well at least you can launder your robes,” said James, fighting to suppress his laughter as Snape and Mulciber came out looking mutinous.  “There’s some stink you can’t ever wash off… along with certain marks,” he shouted, looking at Mulciber pointedly.

“Everyone else clear out!” Filch shouted.  “Back to your dorms!  Get out!  _Detention_ … the lot of you- “

“You can’t give detention to everyone passing by,” James shouted back, still sniggering along with others as students cleared the area. “Did it get the cat?” he asked when they’d gotten some ways away from the hall.

“He was shouting about how he’d have to give her a bath,” said Lily, grinning despite herself.  “Are you lot responsible for that?”

“ _Evans_ ,” said Sirius defensively.  “What would make you say such a thing?  It’s my birthday tomorrow, you know.  I can’t be pulling pranks, now. I’m going to be _seventeen_. I’m above such nonsense,” he finished haughtily. 

“Right,” said Julia.  “If you lot aren’t behind that I’ll eat my hat for dinner tonight.”

The following morning Sirius awoke to a surprise.  Not the presents at the foot of his bed, the surprise was out the window. As they slept, a blanket of snow had covered the grounds outside and was falling lightly from the sky.  Sirius peered out the window, feeling an unusual sense of whimsy at the sight. 

“Is it snowing?” muttered James from his bed, rubbing his eyes and fussing with his hair.

“It is,” Sirius replied.  “Seems appropriate.  On a Black’s day of birth, the world turns white…”

“ _Yes_ ,” grinned James.  “Happy Birthday, mate.  Look at you!” he said, jumping out of his bed and ruffling Sirius’ hair.  “Oh, he’s all grown up now and so _handsome_ ,” James simpered.  “I remember when you were just a _wee_ lad… so innocent and pure.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever been innocent and pure,” Sirius laughed as he moved back to his bed and grabbed a present.  He tore off the paper, smiling at the copy of _Quidditch Strategies and Professional Plays: featuring a forward by Wimborne Wasps player Vincent Maxwell_.  “Oi, thanks Pete, mate,” he called over to the other bed.  Peter made a noise, snorted once, and went back to sleep. 

Remus had gotten him a copy of _Demiguise in Disguise and Other Mischievous Creatures_.  “You didn’t keep on with Care of Magical Creatures,” said James as he looked at the book. 

Sirius shook his head.  “No, but Moony and I were talking a while back about how I only dropped it because they don’t teach you anything.  I like animals, I’ve got a way with them,” he explained, smiling at the book.  “This is great, actually; thanks, Moony.”

“Welcome,” Remus mumbled, standing up to stretch before joining James in leaning over Sirius’ bed to examine his presents.

He opened a large box from the Potter’s next.  They’d gotten him a broomstick, a new set of dress robes, and a handsome looking watch.  Sirius sputtered out a thank you to James, thinking he’d have to write his parents a personal note.

“Write if you want, but don’t stress,” said James.  “Open mine next.”

James had gotten him a set of wrist guards and padding for his Quidditch uniform, a book on muggle tattoos and motorcycles, and a bottle of Firewhiskey. 

“If we didn’t have class I’d say break this open now.  Looks like we’ll be spending the weekend at the shack,” Sirius laughed.  “This should keep us nice and warm if it keeps snowing.”

Peter had gotten out of bed now and wandered over just as Sirius was opening a letter from his Uncle Alphard.  He wrote to congratulate him on coming of age, and mentioned that he’d added some money to Sirius’ personal vault at Gringotts.  As Sirius was reading it, Peter picked up the last box. “There’s this one too,” he said, handing it to him.

Sirius tore off the wrapping and opened the small package, pausing as he looked at the threaded rope necklace and two charms.  One was a dog with a few markings on it, the other was a circular pendant with the shape of a constellation stamped into it.  Sirius swallowed as he examined the dog for a moment before picking up the note inside.

“ _You joke about it being a Black day, but I’m rather glad you were born, so let’s celebrate it_ ,” the handwriting said.  “ _You’ll find me later, I’m sure.  Enjoy the charm and stay warm_.”

She’d also gotten him a handsome looking cloak, lined with red satin and emblazoned with a Gryffindor symbol.  Sirius looked at it for a moment only before looking back at the charm.

“It’s a dog,” he said, looking up at his friends.

James pursed his lips and Remus swallowed.  Peter looked frightened.  “Does she _know_?”

“I can’t _believe_ Lily would have said something… not after all this time,” Remus muttered.

“She didn’t,” said James, shaking his head. “I _know_ she didn’t.”

“I don’t think she did either,” said Sirius.  “I don’t… Jules is weird, she picks up on things.  Did you know she comes from a family of Seers?”

James scoffed.  “You mean frauds?”

“No, _legit_ Seers.  Her Great-Great-Grandmother was apparently an _actual_ Seer… as in she’s got prophecies stored at the Ministry and everything. She’s even mentioned in the Divination book we all had to read,” he explained.  “She says it’s why she picks up on funny things… and she does.  I mean… look at this,” he said, pointing to the note.  “’ _And stay warm’_ she says.  It’s snowing outside…”

“It’s November… sometimes it snows,” said James bluntly.

“Not like this… not after days like yesterday when it was sunny and warm,” he said.  “No, I reckon Evans didn’t say anything.  I don’t think she knows, but she must have picked up on something else.  I’ll ask her at breakfast.”

James and Remus seemed to accept this, but Peter still looked worried.  “What if she _does_ know?”

Sirius shrugged.  “She wouldn’t say anything. I trust her.”

By the time breakfast had rolled around, Peter seemed to accept Sirius’ trust in Julia and didn’t bring it up anymore.  He strutted right into the hall by his friend’s side, trying to suck in some of the glory Sirius exuded as he sauntered into the hall and was greeted with cries of “Happy Seventeenth, Black,” and “Happy Birthday!”

The four of them sat down and began to eat breakfast, with Julia joining them shortly after. “Thanks for the necklace,” Sirius said to her with a grin.

“You’re welcome,” she said.  “I forgot to mention it, but the cloak was actually from Lily.  She just threw it in the same package as my gift.”

“Oh,” said Sirius, looking at James who perked up at this news.  “That was nice.  Where is Evans?”

“She ran to the Prefects bath,” she said.  “She’ll be down soon.”

“What’s with the dog charm?” asked Peter curiously.  Sirius shot him a look, but then waited for Julia’s answer.

Julia chuckled.  “They need to give everyone a wit-sharpening potion before Astronomy class, I swear.  What’s your name?”

“Sirius…”

“Sirius… is the brightest star in the sky, and it’s in _Cainus Major_ … which is a- “

“Dog,” James finished for her.  “It’s a dog… _you’re_ a dog.”

Sirius considered this, looking a little relieved but also amused at Julia expression.  “Lily said the same thing when I showed it to her.  ‘ _Why’s it a dog_?’ she asked me,” Julia explained, rolling her eyes.  “I swear no one ever pays attention in that class.”

“Well it takes place at _midnight_ ,” said Lily, sitting down across from her. “What do you expect?”

“How’d you get an E in it?  I swear…” Julia laughed.

“I studied!  It’s not that hard to memorize constellations.  I just didn’t link it with his name… course, I don’t spend that much time _thinking_ about him either,” she teased.  “Unlike you, who lately every other word is Sirius and- “

“No,” Julia countered, looking embarrassed for the tiniest of seconds before her expression shifted to mischief.  “No, I expect not.  You’ve got _someone else_ on your mind.  So much so that I’m wondering if he _did_ slip you – “

“Mind-reader now, are you?” Lily shot back.  “First you can predict the weather, and now you can- “

“It’s called _Legilimency_ , not _mind-reading_ ,” Julia corrected.  “And no, I can’t do it… but I _was_ right about the snow, wasn’t I?’

“Speaking of snow,” Sirius interrupted, looking between the two of them.  “Thanks for the cloak, Evans.”

Lily smiled brightly.  “You’re welcome, it looks nice on you.”

“Yes, isn’t he _handsome_?” said James.  “All grown up, now.  A man amidst boys… so, who’s on your mind, Evans?” he asked, causing Lily to blush and Julia to burst out laughing.

As she laughed, the hall flooded with owls, dropping mail, parcels, and papers off to numerous students.  Julia reached up to catch Gerard, who landed gracefully on her forearm carrying another small package.  She gave him a piece of her bacon before he flew off.  A large eagle owl with brilliant gold feathers landed next to James, dropping off a thick roll of paper and a smaller note.  He read the note first, then watched as another large owl dropped the same thick roll of paper off to Lily.

James pursed his lips, watching her untangle the large bundle of paper and look over a small note she’d gotten with it.  “How long have you had a subscription to _The Prophet_?”

“Since last year,” she said with a frown, tucking the note into her robes. 

“You know, we could just share mine,” he said.  “Makes no sense giving them more gold.”

Lily looked at him curiously.  “I can afford it if that’s what you’re implying,” she muttered.

“No, not at all.  I _hate_ giving them gold because they do a shit job of reporting what’s really going on,” he muttered.  “I mean look at this,” he continued, pointing to the blazing headline on her paper.

“ _Mysterious Circumstances_ :

“ _The deaths of 4 Ministry workers and 12 others, including 5 muggles, are surrounded in Mystery after Aurors fail to identify cause of death.  Suspicions range from an explosion to involvement of werewolves, but two weeks later we still have no answers_.”

“They have answers,” said Alice as she walked by, glancing over James’ shoulder at the paper.  “They just don’t want to admit them.”

“What happened?” asked Sirius.

“Inferi,” she whispered, leaning over the group.  “It was an army of Inferi.  Werewolves don’t leave those type of wounds.  Frank told me nothing they did could heal those wounds… _nothing_.”

“But can you imagine panic if they Prophet reported that?” said Julia.  “There would be riots in the streets or- “

“ _Good_!” said James, Alice, and Sirius together. 

“If people were to riot at least they’d be doing _something_ ,” said Lily.

“I’m not saying they should hide it, but… people are _terrified_ ,” Julia stressed.

“Then good!  I’m glad they’re terrified. We’re at war… if they’re terrified enough, maybe they’ll do something,” James snapped.

“I agree, James, but terrified people are not equipped to handle a fight.  Terrified people don’t get organized and make plans.  Terrified people scream, and panic… and usually just end up hurting other people,” Julia said.

“So, then it’s good we have Rincewind, eh?” said Lily.  “He doesn’t shy away from stuff.  He tells us what it’s like and the more you know about something the less frightening it is.”

“She’s got a point,” said Alice.  “But so do you, Julia.  I agree, I wish there was a way to hold defensive classes for the public.”

“Well they sent out those little flyers, didn’t they?” asked Peter.  “That had some info on it.”

“The flyers said to establish security questions with people, don’t go out at night, carry antidotes to poisons, and run away if you see the Dark Mark over a building,” James said scathingly.  “It didn’t say anything about how to defend yourself.”

“To be fair, the Ministry doesn’t really want people attempting to take on the Death Eaters,” said Alice.  “And Julia _is_ right, untrained and scared people can do more damage than good a lot of the time.”

“So, what do _you_ propose people do then if they don’t know how to defend themselves?” asked James, sounding a little angry. 

“Learn… which is why you lot should be getting to class.  You’re learning disillusionment charms, right?  Those are useful; I suggest you pay attention,” she said before walking away.

James scoffed again, looking back at the paper.  Sirius was now looking in Julia’s package with her, one of his hands fiddling with her long blonde hair.  Peter looked worried, however.  “Perhaps it wouldn’t be bad to get security questions going…”

“We already have ours,” said James pointedly.  “And Evans doesn’t like chocolate, so that can be hers.  Julia what’s your big secret?”

“I have a tattoo of a bow and arrow on my hip, it’s the symbol for a Sagittarius,” she said, not looking up from her package.  James and Peter tilted their heads while Sirius sat up a little bit and gave her an interested look. 

“Is this true, Evans?” he asked, smirking as his eyes flicked from Julia’s hair down to her hip. 

“Why are you asking me?” she said.  “Wouldn’t you rather find out yourself?”

James sputtered out a laugh, spitting toast all over the table and Julia threw down her package to glare at Lily.  She just smirked and got up from the table, gathering her papers and shoving them in her bag.  “Though, I wouldn’t recommend it now, we’ve got classes to get to.”

“You’re lucky I’m not a vengeful person,” Julia shouted after her, fighting a laugh. “Cheeky thing she is.”

“Well, she’s got a point,” Sirius mused.  Julia blushed even brighter.

The rest of Sirius' birthday went off without a hitch. James had persuaded the House-elves to give him and Peter the ingredients and they'd made him a very fancy chocolate cake with black frosting, and there was a loud celebration that evening in the common room. It lasted until Alice had to put her foot down and sent everyone to bed.   


“ _I mean it_ ,” she said, trying to look stern as she glared at Sirius in a lopsided party hat.  She fought off a laugh and shook her head.  “I’m surprised McGonagall isn’t up here already.  We’ve been lucky… let’s not press it anymore.”

James blew a party favor with a slow breath, forcing it to make a defeated, sad sound.  There were sniggers throughout the room, but everyone began to clean up and headed upstairs without a fight. Lily however lingered longer than she probably should have and saw Julia disappear into thin air at the bottom of the boys’ staircase.  A moment later, the portrait door opened and shut on its own accord.  She rolled her eyes.

“I wouldn’t wait up,” said James with a grin.

“You gave them your cloak.  You’re just encouraging this,” she frowned.

“What, exactly, am I encouraging?” he asked.  “Has she told you?”

“Fair point, and no,” Lily replied.  “She hasn’t told me anything.  They could be snogging, they could be shagging, they could be reading horrible poetry to each other.  Who knows.”

“I’m sure if it was the second option I’d hear something,” said James. 

“Is Black mum as well?” she asked, watching him nod thoughtfully.  “Well, if they’re happy, I guess I shouldn’t worry. Though, I wouldn’t lend them _my_ cloak,” she added, scrunching her nose up.  “Who knows what they get up to under it.”

“ _Ah_ , Evans,” laughed James, crinkling his face and shuddering.  “I didn’t think of _that_.  I should have thought of that; I don’t want to wash it.”

“Will it wear it out?”

James shook his head. “Not sure, actually.  I’ll have to ask my dad.  It’s been in my family for ages.”

Lily considered this, smiling as she finished putting away a final roll of streamers.  “Good night, Potter,” she said, walking up the stairs to her dormitory.  She wouldn’t wait up for Julia, knowing that if she had something to tell, surely she’d wake her up.

But she didn’t, and she remained mum the next day and throughout the entire week.  The snows stayed, making it cold inside the castle and frigid down in the dungeons.  Slughorn had placed a warming charm around the Potions classroom, but even it didn’t help somedays.  Students brewed in their cloaks, some wearing hats and fingerless gloves.

Despite the cold, students came out in droves on Saturday to watch the Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor.  Tensions between the houses were at an all-time high thanks to the pranks James, Sirius, Peter, and sometimes Remus had managed to pull.  Though she hadn’t been a direct target, Slytherin Captain Lucinda Greene seemed to harbor just as much animosity as the rest of her house.  She was also desperate to live up to the expectations set by her predecessor.  Slytherin had won four out of the last six Quidditch tournaments, losing to Ravenclaw one year, and Gryffindor the year before last when Sirius had first joined the team as Beater.

Lily knew the position suited him just as James was suited to Chaser.  James was graceful and quick in his movements, able to catch the Quaffle and pass it easily to either Shacklebolt or Marlene and catch it when they threw it to him. He could dive when needed, and often intimidated he competition by flying much too close to them.

Sirius was just as good a flyer, but he was more aggressive.  Each time he swung the bat, it was with full purpose and intent to hit his target.  Robb Alexander was the other Beater and they had developed a way to read each other and tackle the violent Bludgers and target them exactly where they wanted them to go.  It was good competition and exciting to watch, even for Lily who’d never really been interested in the sport.

“Shaklebolt has gotten a lot better,” Julia shouted at Lily over the roar of the crowd.

“Yeah,” Remus said from behind her.  “Prongs has been working with him.  He’s a lot more confident now.”

“You should take him up on those lessons, Lily,” Julia insisted.  “You need to learn to fly, it’s important.”

“We haven’t had a chance,” she said back before cheering with the others as Marlene passed James the Quaffle and made a spectacular goal.  “I’m not avoiding it, we just need to find time… plus it’s cold now.”

“It’s warmer if you snuggle or fly double,” Julia teased while Lily rolled her eyes.  “Why not next weekend at Hogsmeade?”

Lily noticed at this suggestion that Remus’ excited expression fell slightly, and he sat back into the bleachers.  She looked over her shoulder at him, noticing his face turn impassive as he watched the game.  She wondered what had distracted him so much that he now looked sad. 

She looked at Julia, who shrugged, then cheered loudly as Sirius and Robb teamed up to take down Corban Yaxley who had sent Marlene’s broom into a tailspin and knocked the Quaffle from her grasp.  Kingsley had caught it, tossed it up to James who had then scored Gryffindor’s twentieth goal that day.  The crowd roared even more when Madam Hooch blew her whistle and announced that Emmett Greenfield had caught the Snitch out from under Thorfinn Rowle’s nose. 

“Gryffindor wins!” she shouted, and the crowd began to scream.

It wasn’t just the Gryffindor students screaming.  Slytherin had been winning so much and sometimes employing very dirty tactics to do so all the houses seemed united in beating them.  The entire Gryffindor Quidditch team was congratulated throughout the week by teachers and students alike on a well-played match.  Lily was amused to see Max and James talking with each other about it and passing strategies back and forth during the next week.  She couldn’t focus too much though, she was distracted by other things.

Remus still looked depressed, even when she told him that she was starting to brew the potion that could help him keep his mind during the upcoming full moon.  It seemed nothing would lift his spirits and by Thursday she finally asked James what was going on.

“Has something happened to him?” she asked during potions class.  “He’s been so quiet and so … unlike himself for the last week or so.”

James made a face.  “I think he’s upset about Pitchfield and feeling a bit sorry for himself.”

“Sorry for himself?”

“Well, Pitchfield is apparently heading to Hogsmeade this weekend with Macmillan, and he’s thinking about how it can never happen between them because of his furry little problem,” said James quietly.  He gave his potion a stir, frowning slightly at it.  “Why isn’t this thickening up?”

“You need to turn your heat up,” she said.  “So many of these potions are temperature sensitive and euphoria is a big one.”

“Maybe I’ll bottle some of it up and give it to him,” said Sirius from across the table.  “He should just ask Pitchfield out himself, he needs to get over it.”

Lily frowned.  She knew Sam liked Remus, but was also tired of waiting for something to happen.  She couldn’t blame her, but she wondered if it her feelings had really disappeared overnight, or if she was just trying to distract herself.

She stayed quiet through the rest of the lesson and even into Defense Against the Dark Arts where they were working on Disillusionment charms.  So far, she’d managed to work the spell enough to blend into her surroundings, but she couldn’t get the charm to stick to her clothes or to her hair.

“How am I doing, Evans?” asked James from next to her.  He held his arms open wide, allowing Lily to look at him.  She could still see his cloak, his shoes, his glasses, and his hair. 

“It still needs some work,” she said with a grin.  “But you’re not alone,” she added, gesturing to herself and her still visible robes.

“So, you can see me?”

“Yes, I can see you.”

“Great, can you see me tomorrow at Hogsmeade?” asked James, flourishing his wand to make himself completely visible again.

Lily let out a short laugh, unable to bite it back.  Julia was standing next to her sniggering.  “That… that was clever, Potter, I’ll give you that,” said Lily, shaking her head.

“So, will you?”

“I have plans early in the morning, but I’m sure I’ll see the lot of you around later,” she explained.

“What plans have you got?” he asked.

“Special project I’m doing for Slughorn,” she lied.  “I need to work on it tomorrow for it to be ready.”

James frowned but nodded, watching Lily twirl her wand and fade away, having blended completely in with the blackboard behind her.  She undid the Charm and walked towards the front of the classroom to where Rincewind was standing.  Julia moved sidled up next to him.

“I’ll make sure she gets to you,” she said.  “I think she’d like to go flying again.”

James nodded.  “Why can’t she… I’d just like a date.  It’s just a date.”

“Sirius has never taken _me_ on a date,” Julia replied thoughtfully.  “You don’t have to have dates to have a relationship.”

“You don’t call hiding around in classrooms dates?”

“Not in the traditional sense,” laughed Julia.  “But I suppose it counts to a point.  Either way, I’ll make sure she finds you.”

She smiled before walking over to where Sirius was standing next to Peter, who was struggling with the task and cursing under his breath.  James looked outside at the falling snow and made a note to himself to bring an extra cloak, just in case it was windy tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have to pace myself now because I'm catching up to my own writing, which is why this is shorter. Thank you so much to those who comment or leave kudos. It seems like such a small thing, but full confession, writing is my self-care and to know that someone else got any kind of enjoyment out of it makes me feel really happy.


	12. Secrets Revealed

**Secrets Revealed**   
**Song Stuck in My Head: You’re So Vain- Carly Simon**

* * *

 

She had done it.  She had double checked it numerous times using a ridiculous number of spells she’d managed to weasel out of Slughorn and Flitwick.  The potion was blue and smoking just like the description said it would.  Lily tested the temperature again; it was _perfect_.  Now she just had to find the werewolf to drink it.

She knew he’d be moping about the castle or in Hogsmeade with his friends, and she used moping as a descriptor because that’s what it felt like.  Remus would look over at Sam and frown, sighing heavily before burying himself in a series of never ending tasks.  He’d taken on extra prefect assignments and had been busying himself in helping others with their homework.  Remus seemed extraordinarily versed in their current Defense Against the Dark Arts studies on non-human creatures.  They’d covered boggarts years ago, but now they were discussing Dementors.  The topic was not a comfortable one. Lily constantly had images of creatures she’d never seen outside of drawings stuck in her head.

Shaking these off, she set out to find Remus and James.  She assumed they would have already gone to Hogsmeade, but she checked the common room regardless. 

“What’s this extra assignment you’re doing for Slughorn?” asked Julia’s voice as Lily grabbed her heavy cloak from their dormitory. 

“Merlin’s beard,” Lily yelped.  “You scared me. What are you doing up here all alone?”

“I was catching up on some sleep,” she said lightly. 

Lily pursed her lips.  “Yes, you need it don’t you? You didn’t come back from being out with Sirius on his birthday until after three in the morning.”

“Was it _that_ late?” she said, sounding a little alarmed.

“What are you two up to anyway?” asked Lily as they walked down the stairs toward the portrait hole.  “And if you tell me Transfiguration I swear to Merlin I’ll- “

“He _does_ help me with Transfiguration,” she said.  “I’m not joking about that.”

“Then what _else_ are you two doing?”

Julia shrugged, looking a little sheepish.  “He’s a good kisser.  He’s a _fantastic_ kisser.  We’ve been doing a lot of that, and a lot of talking, and… other things, I suppose.”

“Do I need to brew you a contraceptive draught?” asked Lily warily.

Julia made a squeak of alarm.  “ _What_?!  No, no you don’t need to do that,” she replied, sounding embarrassed.  “Though, it’s nice to know you _can_ … where in the world did you learn that?  _Why_ did you learn that?”

“It’s in a potions book in the restricted section.  I’ll never understand why the books on advanced healing are in the _Restricted_ Section, or why things about pregnancy and sex are in healing books,” she added, rolling her eyes.

“I suppose that makes sense,” Julia giggled.  “I mean… it’s health, isn’t it?  All the health stuff is in healing books.”

“So, is he your boyfriend?  Are you his _girlfriend_?  What’s- “

“No, it’s not like that.  We just… I mean… I like him, I think he’s brilliant, but … I can’t do that.  It’s just nice to have someone for a bit, yeah?  It’s not a thing; we don’t have _feelings_ or anything,” she muttered.

“You sure about that?” asked Lily as they reached the path that led to Hogsmeade.  “I mean… he acts like he cares about you.  And you seem awfully thoughtful about- “

“Sirius isn’t serious about anything, he says that himself,” she replied firmly.  “It’s just like it was with Diggory.  We’re just snogging and … I can’t do anything else.  It isn’t fair.”

Lily pursed her lips.  She knew Julia’s feelings on this subject.  She was caught up in the readings she had been given, and the prophecy that had been made when she was five.  It made no sense to Lily, but Julia fixated on it and refused to get close with anyone because of it.  It had taken Lily whole _year_ to get her to warm up and tell her about it.  Lily had tried to argue or persuade her that things can change, that prophecies can be wrong… But Julia would not budge, and it affected every choice she made.

“So, what’s going on with Lupin?” Julia asked.  “He’s been very odd lately, and I know it’s because he hasn’t asked Sam out.”

“I know,” said Lily, frowning. “I don’t understand why.  And I don’t understand why _Sam_ hasn’t asked _him_ … or maybe she has, and we don’t know.”

Julia shook her head.  “She hasn’t.  Can you imagine how the gossip would spread if she had?  Alexis Sloan would have a heyday broadcasting that all over the castle.”

“Still,” Lily wondered.  “Hugo can be rather pompous at times.  He’s good looking and all, but I’m surprised she went out with him.”

Julia considered this. “Should we go check on her?  See how it’s going?”

Lily looked at Julia with a grin.  “Yes, lets… at the risk of being horribly nosy, let’s do that.”

They entered the village and walked past The Three Broomsticks and several other shops before they turned onto a little side street.  The tea shop sat there, brazenly pink against the snowy ground.  Julia looked skeptically at Lily. “ _This_ is the place where everyone goes?”

“It’s not like there are a ton of options around,” said Lily fairly.  “The Hog’s Head is dodgy; The Three Broomsticks is always packed… where else are you going to go?”

Julia shrugged, pushing open the door to the shop and walking in.  She grimaced and looked at Lily, who had her nose wrinkled up as she stared around at the pink decorations.  Teacups and tiny plates decorated the pale pink walls, frilly lace curtains lined the windows.  Each table was covered with a lacy pink table cloth and topped with a small vase of pink and white flowers.  There was a ridiculous amount of pink.

At the tables were various couples: girls staring longingly at haughty looking boys, boys twittering nervously at girls who looked as though they expected to be worshipped.  There were also several couples leaning awkwardly across tables to kiss each other, while several others were sitting side by side in tangled embraces. 

“ _Ugh_ ,” Lily finally said after a few moments. “This is atrocious.  This… _ugh_ …”

Julia sniggered.  “I’ll remind James to never bring you here.”

“ _Why_?” asked Lily.  “ _Ugh_ … this is why I’ve never had a boyfriend of any sort.  Look at this… _look_ at everyone and their _googly_ eyes.  It reminds me of my sister.”

“Why does it remind you of your sister?” asked Julia with a laugh.

“Oh, she would go on and _on_ about that boyfriend of hers,” said Lily, rolling her eyes.  “Like she could think of nothing else; and she would get this _look_ on her face that – _oh_ , there’s Sam!” she blurted out, pointing to a table in the corner.

Julia shushed her loudly, tugging her to a table clear across the small café and pushing Lily into a chair.  Lily sat adjacent to Julia, casually looking over her shoulder toward where Sam and Hugo were sitting.  Hugo seemed to be prattling on about something, looking rather smug as he did.  Sam had rested her chin in her hand and was holding small cup of tea with the other, a strained smile on her face.

“She looks bored to death,” Julia mused.

“Well, there’s not much we can do about it, is there?” asked Lily.

“We can give her a way out, I expect,” said Julia, twisting her mouth to one side the way she always did when she was thinking hard.

“We can’t ask her to leave,” said Lily seriously.  “That’s rude.  I mean… if she were to just blow him off that’s rude, right?”

“It depends on if he’s being overly boring, or if he’d done something,” said Julia.  “I mean… if he were an arse to her she could walk out, but he’s not going to be.  So, the only thing we can do is let her know she has other options if she’s bored...”

She jumped to her feet then, Lily following reluctantly behind as they approached the table.  Sam saw them coming and smiled, looking surprised but happy to see them.

“Julia, Lils,” she said brightly, looking from the girls to Hugo and back again.  “What… what are you doing in here?”

“Passed by, saw your hair and thought we’d come in.  Your cut is cute,” Julia replied quickly.  “Wotcher, Hugo.  How are you?”

“I’m doing well,” Hugo Macmillan said with a grin.  “Enjoying the snow?  It’s nice to get out of the castle again… I daresay that everyone was getting a bit antsy.”

Lily nodded, smiling nervously.  “Yes, it’s been hard to keep everyone in line.”

“Well, harder for _you_ since you have Potter and Black in your house,” laughed Hugo.  “We all know how much trouble they like to get up to, and Merlin knows Lupin can’t keep them in line.”

“Yes, speaking of Lupin,” said Julia, jumping on the name, “He’s been quite distracted the last week, so we’re meeting up with him later at the Three Broomsticks for some drinks then we’re headed to the shack for some laughs.  We’d probably best get on, but we saw you and thought we’d say hi.”

“Right,” said Sam, chewing her lip.  Her eyes darted to Hugo and back to Julia curiously.  “Maybe… maybe we’ll see you down there… at the shack.”

Julia winked and turned over her shoulder, Lily waving nervously then following after her.  “Bye,” she shouted back at the table before Julia tugged her out of the building and into the street.  They peered through the window for a few minutes, watching as Hugo resumed talking animatedly and Sam began looking more and more bored with the conversation. 

“So, what was the point of that?” asked Lily.

“Look at her now,” said Julia, pointing.  “She’s looking at the door; she’s knows where we’ll be- “

“Did you arrange all this with Sirius?” asked Lily.  “How do we even know Remus is here?  For all we know he could be moping about the castle.”

Julia shook her head.  “Nah… they probably drug him down here kicking and screaming if necessary, you know they did.  We’ll find them… it won’t be hard to get them to go to the shack either.”

“But how does this get Sam out of her date?”

“That’s up to her, but I know Hugo a bit and he hates the Shack.  _Hates_ it… so I bet even if she doesn’t duck out before then, she may when he doesn’t want to go there,” Julia explained.  “Either way, we gave her an out.”

Lily pursed her lips thoughtfully, still peering in the window.  “Did you see Willa Peters in there with Chris Storms?”

Julia shook her head, peering through the window again.  Their faces were practically pressed up against the frosty glass, looking at the various couples either talking closely or kissing each other softly.  Lily made a gagging noise and Julia laughed again.

“What are you two doing?”

Lily shrieked, and Julia whirled about sharply, hand plunging in her robes for her wand.  She paused and sighed in relief when she saw who it was.  Lily stood up straight, her cheeks turning red as she saw James, Sirius, and Peter standing behind them, looking curiously amused.

“We were trying to rescue Sam from her date,” Julia said, unashamed.  “Where’s Lupin?”

“Stayed behind,” James said, a strange expression on his face.  “Not feeling well.”

“Well, there’s that plan shot,” said Lily in a defeated voice.  “We were half hoping Sam would skive off and meet up with us later… assuming he’d be with you all.”

“Us?  As in… _us_ - _us_?” said James, with a grin.  “As in you were going to come find us and hang about?”

“I told you I’d have her find you,” Julia replied, rolling her eyes.  “And, obviously, I was going to come find _you_ ,” she finished, looking at Sirius.

“Obviously,” he replied.  “Since you can’t get enough of my love, babe.”

Lily rolled her eyes while Julia smirked at him.  “This is what I was talking about,” Lily said dryly.  “You’re getting to be just as bad.”

“ _Please_ ,” Julia scoffed, walking towards the end of the aisle and elbowing Sirius playfully.  “I still have my dignity, thank you very much.  Never take me there, by the by,” she said to him, pointing at the shop.

Lily laughed at this and followed behind Julia and Sirius as they strolled off.  She fell into step with Peter and James, unable to stop grinning when James smirked at her.  “How about you?  I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea if- “

“Oh, _God_ no,” she groaned, shaking her head.  “Have you ever been in _there_?  It’s like being snogged by one of those horrible valentine cherubs.”

James laughed, adding Lily’s disgust over the tea shop as one more reason to like her.

Without Remus, they didn’t _have_ to go to the Shrieking Shack, but decided to just in case Sam did listen to their plans and decide to join.  Lily realized for the first time that the building didn’t have doors or windows, but why would it?  If it was solely meant to house a werewolf once per month, it would be best not to have any sort of entrance to prevent someone from sneaking in, or someone else from breaking out.

They hung out there for a half hour or so, then just as they were about to leave, Julia spotted Sam walking up the path, alone.  She looked eager, then her face fell when she realized it was just the three boys instead of the fourth one she wanted to see. 

“Hey, Pitchfield,” said Peter from his spot on the fence next to James.  Lily and Julia were standing closer to the fence, listening to Sirius make up some random ghost story about the shack.  Lily turned over her shoulder, walking over to where Sam had stopped walking.

“Hey… so, _you’re_ all here,” she murmured, looking at Lily.

“Yeah, we are… where’s Hugo?” asked Lily, feeling a little guilty.

“Oh, he hates the Shack,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “To be honest, I’m glad you guys stopped by and told me you were down here… gave me an excuse to cut out early.”

“Oh,” said Lily, the guilty feelings changing to relief that Sam had wanted to get out of the date anyway.  “Well, I’m glad then.  Was it awful?”

“No,” replied Sam fairly.  “He’s pleasant enough, but he’s just so- “

“Pompous?” interjected Sirius.  “A bit conceited?  A little full- “

“No, you’re describing yourself,” said Sam quickly.  “Yes, he can come off a bit pretentious, but he’s a nice bloke.  And he at least picks up on clues… and doesn’t run off when I act interested in him,” she added, looking stung.

James pulled a face.  “We know Hugo’s an all right bloke. I’ve played Chaser against him for two years now; he’s fine.  But _you_ can do better,” he said, jumping off the fence.  “And other people pick up on… clues,” he said, leaving out Remus’ name.  “Maybe they’re just a bit shy or less sure of themselves than we are.”

Sam frowned.  “I’ve been all but obvious about it.  Why- “

“ _Shh_ ,” Sirius hissed suddenly, jumping away from the fence and staring down the path.  He was stock still, like a dog sensing danger.  “Do you hear that?  Prongs, your blanket,” he said, gesturing wildly at James as he began shunting Lily and Sam off the main path and closer to the building.  They ducked under the fence, Sirius grabbing Julia’s hand and pulling her along with them. 

“What? What’s going on?” asked Peter, running to catch up. 

James was pulling out his cloak, looking at the group.  “There’s no way we’ll fit under- “

“ _Oblitesco_!” Sam whispered firmly, waving her wand in a large circular motion.  It felt like rain drops falling for a few moments, then Lily looked around to see that all of them were now translucent.  She was sure if you looked closely you’d be able to make out a silhouette, but other than that they were invisible.  She felt James next to her, recognizing his scent as he tossed the cloak over her and him and crouched low behind the fence and a tall cluster of grass just off the main path to the Shack. 

“ _What did you hear_?” James whispered to Sirius.

“ _Shh_!” he hissed back.  “Look…”

“… won’t be long before you are finished.  And once you are, more information will be available to you at that time,” a drawling voice was muttering.  “I would recommend to you, and to others with similar aspirations, that you sit the tests and make plans for your talents.”

“Carrow doesn’t see the point in sitting tests,” a second voice mused.  “He says it won’t matter if we take over – “

“Carrow is a thug simply looking for an excuse to get out of exams he has no business taking anyway,” the first voice sneered.  “The Dark Lord knows this and has a use for people like him, but they are low level uses.  You have potential, as do I… and there is something to be said for keeping a low profile.”

“Especially with Minchum still in office,” said a third voice.  “People are being prosecuted for simply announcing they are pure-blood these days it seems.”

The figures finally came close enough to the shack they could see who the voices belonged too.  “That’s Lucius Malfoy,” James hissed at Sirius.

“And Rowle and Rosier,” added Peter from next to Julia. 

“ _Shh_!” Lily breathed, as they came close to the fence.  She held her breath, praying that Sam’s disillusionment charm was strong enough to hold for a few more minutes. 

“Yes, it does seem that they are continually adding more and more protections for Muggles and Mudbloods, but not all of them will pass,” Malfoy said.  “Again, this is why a low profile is necessary.  It’s much easier to topple the Ministry through legislative efforts.  You’d be surprised what people will do to keep themselves safe,” he continued.  “If you must choose between Mudbloods and Muggles, or your own family, eventually the public will make the right decision.”

“Well, Yaxley is stuck for now with Longbottom’s trollup as Head Girl,” Rosier grumbled.  “Says he can’t get a word in edge wise with her around, and even the few pure-blood prefects aren’t bothered by having a Mudblood amidst their ranks.”

Lily felt five pairs of eyes fall on her and shifted uncomfortably.

“Prefects are Dumbledore’s pets for the most part,” said Malfoy.  “Focus on those you know.  Those who are fed up with the fighting, or who aren’t as noticed as they should be.  Look at the half-bloods’ whose Muggle or Mudblood parents deserted them, or cannot keep up with them at home.  Ask them about hiding their magic, how much of a pain it is to be without it on holidays.  The goal is to change this… once we are out in the open, they’ll be rewarded for their loyalty towards their wizarding heritage.”

There was silence for a moment before Rowle cleared his throat.  “I want the Mark,” he said firmly.  “I’m tired of not being involved.  I’m eighteen, I’ve been bringing in more and more students to our cause than either of you two.  I’ve proven myself already… when- “

“You’ll need to bring this up with The Dark Lord,” Malfoy interrupted.  “I have no control over that. You’ll need to prove yourself to him.”

Rowle moved closer to Malfoy, a sneer on his face.  “You act like you have so much power.  Coming here… talking to the lot of us as though you have to educate us on how we should act.  But I bet if push came to shove, you’d slither right back to preserve your status… I _will_ prove myself to The Dark Lord, and I don’t need you to arrange it for me.”

Malfoy smiled and gave a little laugh.  “, do so…  and let me know how it works out if you get caught with The Mark while under Dumbledore’s eye.”

“You’re not in here with us,” said Rosier with a sneer.  “There are too many meddlesome kids… too many of Dumbledore’s pets running about. We need to start showing them how it’s going to be _now_.”

“Then show them,” Malfoy shrugged.  “But don’t get caught. It looks bad on a Ministry resume to have been kicked out of Hogwarts.  And if we are to ever take over the Ministry, we’ll need more people inside it first.”

Silence fell again.  Lily heard Sirius’ voice hiss something very quietly then a loud crack came from inside the Shack.  The three men talking jumped and looked toward the sound.  Another crack came again, then a low groan that echoed through the clearing.

“Perhaps this is a conversation best taken elsewhere,” said Rosier suddenly, looking a little alarmed.

Malfoy scoffed.  “It’s an empty building.”

“You don’t hear the shrieks and snarls,” said Rosier.  “If you come out on the grounds on a clear night, you can hear it all the way up by the castle.”

He started walking back, with Rowle and Malfoy following close on his heels.  “For all we know, Dumbledore has that building set up with spies and the haunting is a front for them to keep tabs on the village,” Rowle said thoughtfully.  Malfoy’s response was sneering, but they couldn’t hear it for they’d gone out of distance.

James stood up with a flourish, pulling the cloak with him.  Lily looked down to see that she was still somewhat invisible, but it was wearing off.  Sam rose to her feet as well.  “ _Finite_ ,” she muttered, repeating the same circular motion with her wand.  Julia, Peter, and Sirius all stood, dusting the snow off their cloaks. 

“We should tell someone,” Peter muttered.

“Who’re we going to tell?” asked Sirius sharply.  “What will we say?  ‘We were skulking around by the shack and heard Lucius Malfoy telling Rowle and Rosier the best way to infiltrate the Ministry is by keeping a low profile?’  Where’s our proof?  You know they’d deny it, just like Rowle would deny that he’s walking around trying to recruit people.”

“He doesn’t have to look far,” said James darkly.  “Everyone knows half of Slytherin is dying to sign up.”

Peter looked frustrated.  “Which is why we should- “

“Even if we did say what we overheard, there’s no proof of anything,” James continued, folding up his cloak a little angrily.  “There’s nothing we can do but be on the lookout.”

Peter frowned, looking at Sirius who nodded.  Sam looked unsure about all this, but Julia’s expression was angry.  “We should get back,” she said suddenly, walking on the path that led to back to the Village.  “It’s got to be getting late.”

“It’s 2:00,” sighed Sirius, looking at the watch he’d gotten for his birthday.  “She’s probably right.”

He jogged after Julia, with Peter following at his heels.  Lily and Sam started forward while James walked behind them.  Lily kept looking over her shoulder as they walked, watching his expression change from angry, to concerned, and then back to anger again.  She looked at Sam who was pursing her lips thoughtfully.

“You may have to be direct with him,” said Lily quietly.  “I don’t think you can drop hints.”

This observation seemed to shock Sam back into the present, into less serious matters. She smiled shyly.  “I’ll see… maybe it’s best if I just lay low for a while.  Or … I don’t know.  How are _you_ feeling about all this?”

Lily shrugged.  “I feel the same way I’ve always felt.  They’re crazy, and … there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’m not going to try and change their minds.  I can only hope that that opinion isn’t shared by the rest of the world.”

Sam nodded.  “Did you hear about that marriage restriction they proposed?  Or the Special Crimes Reporting office?”

“That marriage restriction will never take place,” James interjected, jumping up next to Lily.  “It won’t happen.  They’d be actively encouraging inbreeding since all the pureblood families are already interrelated… not to mention half the Ministry is half-blood.  We wouldn’t exist without marriages to Muggleborns or Muggles.”

“What about the Special Crimes office?” asked Sam. “What do you think about that?”

“It’s good in theory, but they take your name down when you report,” said Lily.  “The person you report has the right to face their accuser, and everyone in that office has access to your personal information… makes it really easy to find Muggleborns reporting crimes, doesn’t it?”

James frowned, he hadn’t thought of it in that way before, but Lily had a good point.  “Evans, listen… you don’t do patrols alone ever, do you?”

She shook her head.  “No, Alice said at the beginning of the year that it’s best to do them in pairs.  If I don’t do them with Remus, Pauline, or Leland, I’ll hit up Max.  I’ve also done it with Cora Dunford before,” she explained.

James pursed his lips.  “Good.  I didn’t realize you’re the only Muggleborn prefect right now,” he said.  “I don’t – “

“I can take care of myself, Potter,” she said firmly.

“I know you can,” he assured her.  “But it never hurts to have someone else watching your back.”

Lily made to argue with him, but Sam interrupted her.  “I agree with him, Lils,” she said.  “I know you can take care of yourself… but why do it alone?”

Lily pursed her lips, frowning when Julia looked over her shoulder and mouthed “ _I agree too_ ,” at her.

She rolled her eyes.  “Speaking of prefect duty,” Lily said, “I’ve got to find Remus.  They like us to make sure people are staying in line after Hogsmeade visits.”

James frowned, looking disappointed in how the day turned out.  “We’ll see you at dinner?” he asked hopefully.

Lily gave a small smile.  “I like to eat, so I’ll be there,” she said, turning over her shoulder and heading up to the common room. 

It took her a half an hour to find him, but she finally located Remus in the library.  He was tucked in a corner close to the Restricted Section, reading out of a large book on counterspells, concealment, and tracking charms.  “Hi,” she said quietly.

Remus sighed and looked up.  “Hello, Lily,” he replied.  “Come to lecture me about not going to Hogsmeade?”

“No,” said Lily.  “I’m not your keeper.  You can do what you like.”

“Well, that’s a welcome relief,” he sighed.  “I thought the others were going to drag me there by force.”

“Why didn’t you want to come?” she asked, sitting down across from him.

Remus shrugged.  “I needed to be alone for a bit.  Get my head back in reality of what … what the world is really like.”

Lily frowned, reading into his words.  “Listen… why don’t you take a walk with me upstairs and I’ll show you the potion.”

“It’s ready?” he asked.

She nodded.  “I’ve double, and triple checked it.  It’s ready to go if you still want to take it.”

Remus’ expression changed.  He first looked excited, then nervous, and finally firm in his decision.  “Yes, let’s do that.  Let’s see what happens.”

It didn’t take long for them to reach the 7th floor, and the room appeared the second time she felt along the spot on the wall.  The heavy door pushed open and Lily stepped in, followed by Remus.  Everything was just how she left it:  smoking potion on the table, rows of empty cauldrons on the shelves.  She was just thinking she needed a goblet and a ladle when she looked just below the cauldron shelf and found one waiting for her.

“Found these,” she said brightly, walking to the potion and stirring it a few times.  It began to smoke heavily as she stirred.

Remus was looking around curiously.  “This is a _funny_ little room…” he said again.  “And all this stuff was just in here?”

“Yes,” she said.  “It’s just another potions room; someone keeps putting more ingredients in the cupboard, so it must be.” 

Lily scooped some of the potion into a goblet, sniffing it and wrinkling her nose slightly.  “It’s got kind of an odor,” she said, handing Remus the goblet and watching him do the same thing.  “I didn’t add anything too it… so I’m not sure what it’s like.”

Remus shrugged.  “Well, we won’t find out unless we try,” he said, tipping the glass in her direction before putting it to his lips and taking a large swallow.

Lily twisted her fingers and held her breath.  Remus swallowed once, pulled a face and bent over coughing.  He shook his head and stuck his tongue out.  “ _Blech_ ,” he said, coughing again. 

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “I don’t want to add anything without checking with Belby first… but maybe some lemon?  Or sugar?”

“I don’t know… it’s not tea,” he muttered.  “It’ll be all right.”  Remus frowned, steeling himself, then drank the rest of the goblet in one swallow.  He coughed again and shook himself off, but then stood upright and gave Lily an encouraging nod.

“You all right?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said.  “I feel fine…”

“Well good, because if I had screwed it up we’d know right away,” she said.

He looked a little alarmed.  “Were you _worried_ about that?”

Lily shook her head, waving him off.  “I wasn’t _worried_ … but I did have an antidote just in case,” she said, noting his expression becoming more and more alarmed.  “Remus, it’s always good to have an antidote for _any_ potion.  I wasn’t going to make exceptions for this one.”

He nodded in agreement as he followed Lily out the door, watching as the entrance to the strange little room faded away against the brick wall.  “You’re right about that… speaking of antidotes,” he said, walking close to her and speaking in low voice, “Julia asked me a while back to keep one on hand for you.”

“An antidote to what?” asked Lily.

“A love potion.”

She let out a laugh, it sounded skeptical.  “No one is going to use a love potion on me,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “I’m a Mud-“

“Don’t call yourself that,” said Remus sharply.  “It’s foul.”

Lily pursed her lips.  “You weren’t there today… we overheard Rosier and Rowle talking with Malfoy at Hogsmeade…”

Lily proceeded to relay all they had heard to Remus, wanting his take on the subject.  He made the same face James had made. “Well, it’s no use telling someone because we have no proof, but it makes me sick.”

“Me as well… but you see why it’s hard sometimes to _not_ refer to myself as Mudblood.  An entire house thinks of me that way, and I suspect a few others do as well,” she muttered.

“No, they don’t. No decent person thinks that way,” he said solemnly.  “Don’t let Prongs hear you say that.  I had to hold him back the other day after Potions after he heard someone say it.  He can’t stand that word.”

Lily smiled gently, her cheeks coloring a little.  “I know, he told me as much.  It’s sweet in a way; him being so protective, but I don’t need it.  I can take care of myself.”

“No one doubts that,” said Remus.  “But it’s always better if we can take care of each other.  And did you just say Prongs was _sweet_?”

Lily laughed.  “Don’t tell him I said that,” she insisted.  “By the way… Sam didn’t stay on her date with Hugo for long.”

Remus pursed his lips.  “Where’d they go?”

“They were at the tea shop, but she was bored out of her mind,” said Lily lightly.  “Julia told her we’d be at the Shack with you for, and she came looking a bit later.  She wondered- “

“So, do I have to take this every day?” asked Remus abruptly. 

Lily sighed, frowning over at him.  “Yes, you have to take the potion every day this week.  Every day in the week before the full moon or its ineffective.”

Remus had nodded, a grimace crossing his face.  Nevertheless, he had followed her directions, sneaking up to the potions room with her every day to take the potion.  The taste seemed to get worse as time went on, and finally on Wednesday he asked if she could reach out to Belby and see if sugar or anything could be added.

“I’ll write while I’m out there today,” she said as they walked back to the common room.  “I’ve got to send a letter back to my Mum.  She’s going on Holiday over Christmas so I’m staying here this year.”

“Couldn’t you go home with Julia?”

Lily shook her head.  “Her parents are taking her on Holiday as well… they do every year.  It’ll be fine, I’ve never been here around the Holidays so I’m anxious to see what it’s like.”

Though Lily didn’t think much of this development, James Potter had found it very interesting.  He’d come up to her that Sunday at breakfast, a bright look on his face.  “So, Evans… my parents _adored_ you the two times they met you this past summer.”

“Of course, they did,” she laughed.  “They’d been stuck with you and Sirius in the house for two months.  It was probably nice to have a self-controlled, sweet, _tame_ teenager around for a few hours.”

“I’ve been very self-controlled as of late,” he said haughtily.  “I haven’t had a detention since the end of _September_.”

Lily gave him an approving look.  “I’m proud of you, Potter… that is an accomplishment.”

“And you told Moony I was sweet…”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she fought back a smirk.  “ _’Was’_ being the operative word.”

“Would it be ‘ _sweet’_ if I told you they invited you for Christmas?” he said with a grin.  “Because they did… well, I’m inviting you _officially_ , but they said they were fine with it.”

“Potter,” she said, a little embarrassed.  “I’m fine… I’ll be fine here.  I barely know your parents, I barely know you!  That’s- “

“You know me,” he said dismissively.  “What do you want to know that you don’t?”

“I mean, I _know_ you, but I don’t feel like I know you well enough to stay at your house.  That’s very kind, but I will be okay,” she said with a small grin.

James frowned, watching her spread jam on her toast.  “What do you usually do over the Holidays?” she asked finally after a few moments.

He shrugged.  “Mess about with some others from my neighborhood and Sirius, open presents from my parents.  My Mum always makes a big fuss about teaching me to cook.”

“Oh, she does?” Lily grinned.  “It’s a good skill to have, you’ll need to feed yourself someday.”

“But won’t you be there to help me out? To guide me and teach me culinary excellency?” he asked, smiling at her.

“Again, I’m not sure what world you’re inhabiting that you and I are living together, but I’d only help you some.  I’m not your mother, and I won’t be folding your laundry and making all your meals in this imaginary world,” she said firmly.

“Well, not all the meals,” said James fairly.  “It’s only fair if we share the load.  I’ll make Sunday pastries for my redheaded strudel every weekend if you like.”

Lily snorted.  “Did you just call me a ‘ _strudel_?’  I do hope you come up with a better pet name than that.”

“What would you like to be called?” asked James, biting his lip.

“Lily… as it is my given name,” she said, shaking her head.  “Lils seems to be something people adopt easily.”

“Can I call you, Lils?” asked James.  “As in… can I send you an owl on Holiday to check in on you?”

“Potter, I don’t need you to check in on me, I will be fine,” she laughed.  “But yes, you can send me an owl. You should tell him to stay a bit if you want a quick response since I don’t have an owl.”

“You still don’t have one?  I thought you were supposed to buy one,” said James.

“I was, but then I … bought Sirius’ his cloak for his birthday and I had to buy potions ingredients,” she muttered.

James quirked an eyebrow.  “What kind of potions ingredients did you have to buy that Slughorn didn’t have?”

Lily shook her head.  “I was out of a lot of stuff; I couldn’t borrow all of it.”

James regarded her suspiciously.  “Is this about that love potion antidote you’ve been brewing with Moony?  You could have asked me for ingredients, I’d have given them to you.”

“It’s all right, I managed.”

“Do you have the antidote?”

“Not with me, but yes.”

“Can I see it?”

It was Lily’s turn to look suspicious.  “Why?”

“It just seems odd that you are asking Moony for help when I know damn well you could do it- “

“I wanted him to carry some around as well,” she interjected, starting to look angry.  “I trust him to keep an eye on me.”

James looked stung.  He swallowed and ruffled his hair before folding his arms over his chest.  “And you don’t trust _me_?”

“I do… I _do_ trust you, Potter,” she insisted.  “But, I’m around Remus more since we have patrols and what not.  Plus, you _do_ fancy me and- “

“But I wouldn’t- “

“I know you wouldn’t!” she shot back. “That’s not what I mean.  I just- “

“What are you _really_ doing with him?” asked James.  “Because a love potion antidote takes around five minutes to make and I see you two sneaking off all the time.  Especially this week… you’ve been off together every afternoon.”

“We have duty, you know,” Lily scowled.

“Prefect duty is in the evening,” he said.  “And I know he went with Lightfield one night and I _still_ saw you sneaking off in the afternoon together.”

“What does it matter?” she asked.  “We’re friends.”

“ _Are_ you?”

“Why are you so concerned?” she asked, feeling her cheeks get hot.

James shrugged, trying to look nonchalant about the topic.  “I’m … I just… Padfoot is always sneaking off with Julia and now you’re always- “

“Even if I _was_ sneaking off to snog Remus, why is that your concern?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

James made a face, sitting up straighter.  “You’re not though.”

“No, I’m _not_.  But you’re jealous about it as though you have some kind of… _claim_ on me,” she spat.  “You’ve got nothing to be jealous of because there’s nothing going on between us.”

“I know that.  Moony wouldn’t- “

“I meant between you and _I_ , Potter,” she interrupted.  “I’m _not_ your girlfriend.”

James frowned.  He swallowed thickly and looked down at his fingers, thumping his fist on the table softly.  “I know that.”

“Then you’ll do well to remember it when you’re lecturing me about sneaking off with Remus or anyone else,” she growled, standing up suddenly and pushing the bench away from her.  “You’re not the only one that cares about him, just like Sirius isn’t the _only_ one who has ever cared about Julia.  You both think you’re the center of the sodding world and it’s maddening.”

Lily tossed her hair angrily and stalked away from James and out of the Great Hall.  James sat at the table, ignoring the sniggers that erupted a few seats away from him.  He slammed his fist on the table hard. 

What did she know?  He, James, _knew_ he wasn’t the center of the world.  And why else had he become an Animagus if not to help Remus out when he transformed?  It had its perks, yes, and it was an accomplishment he was proud of as well… but, he only did it for Remus.  He had been the motivation for the idea, hadn’t he?  And when the shifted to their animal selves it was to help him, wasn’t it?

Yet, there was a nagging part of James that knew that wasn’t the _only_ reason.  Yes, it helped Remus… but roaming the grounds, and the village of Hogsmeade, with a werewolf?  That was _cool_.  It was _dangerous_.  How many times had Remus nearly gotten the better of them?  It was thrilling to think about what would have happened if he’d got away – unless… unless it involved biting someone. 

James flashed back to the night Lily had gone out on the grounds.  She’d gone out to stop them from sneaking about and getting more points docked from Gryffindor house.  She’d been thinking about herself, yes, but also all her house mates.  And even after Remus had nearly attacked her, she had fought to stay outside until she _knew_ James and his friends were safe.  Despite seeing what was out there, despite knowing what could happen, she wanted to make sure they were safe as well. 

He’d remembered the terror of not only fearing for her safety, but for Remus’ sanity as well.  For if he _did_ bite someone, if he cursed them with the life he’d been given, if he’d stolen away what he had had stolen from him, it would destroy him.  Remus had been more distraught over the fact that he’d almost bit Lily than the fact that she knew what he was.

Lily seemed to understand and empathize with this.  Perhaps that was _why_ they were sneaking off.  Maybe Remus felt like he could talk to Lily about it since Lily often made you feel like you could talk to her about anything.  Maybe she _was_ just talking to him.  Maybe she was giving him tips on how to hook up with Pitchfield, or anyone…

Whatever the reason was, James realized Lily was doing it for Remus and not at all for herself.  And while James intentions behind the Animagus plot were to benefit his friend, in the end… he _also_ benefited from it.

He didn’t see her for the rest of the day.  Not in the common room, not at dinner, not anywhere in the castle that he could find.  James had even taken out the map, which was still splotchy at times, and looked for her, but it was no good.  Julia didn’t know where she had gone either, but figured she’d be back sometime to sleep. 

“I wouldn’t worry about her, James… she really _can_ take care of herself,” Julia said as she walked up to their dormitory.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he muttered in response. 

James had let his jealousy get the better of him.  He had felt jealous all week watching Remus wander off with her to who knew where, and then even more rejected when she said she wouldn’t come for Christmas.  But he’d even known that was a bit much to ask.  She _wasn’t_ his girlfriend, but the thought of her alone in the castle over Christmas break didn’t make him feel any sort of holiday joy at all. 

This thought stuck with him even as they wandered out into the night under his cloak.  He stood leaning against a tree and watching Sirius shift into the large black dog and Peter into the chubby grey rat before changing himself. Then all thoughts of Lily shifted to the back, and the forethought became the wolf that would emerge from the tunnel. 

James sat behind large antlers and long legs, feeling the strength of his presence and stretching unused muscles as he waited for the fight that always begins their explorations.

But tonight, the fight didn’t come, and instead of the black dog being chased out of the tunnel by the large grey wolf, Prongs watched as they walked out together as a pair.  The wolf was strange and calm; different from the uncontrolled rage and pure adrenaline that usually began the evening.  The wolf was unusually controlled, and even inside the mind of the, stag James knew something was afoot. 

But he dared not shift, for what if the scent of human triggered now dormant wolf instincts?  No, it was best to stay in form.  The wolf even agreed by barking and tossing its head before motioning for them to follow it into the forest.

They did, and the four animals roamed once more across the whole grounds of the school, sniffing and rustling up secrets only _they_ could have discovered, watching brilliant unicorns and herds of centaurs race through the dark woods. There are scuttling creatures they avoid; the plethora of spiders that lead to the deepest area they’ve never ventured to.  All four of them wanted to avoid it; the instinct always rose in James to flee from the area, though he’s never been exactly sure as to why.  Something about the scuttling spoke to him and whispered “ _stay away_.”

The sun started to rise over the horizon, and as it did, James watched the wolf shake itself off as though the light peeking over the trees was pulling new instincts out.  They walked towards the shack, and by the time they are at the tunnel, the wolf has finally shaken itself out into the shape of Remus Lupin.  The transition looked painful; body shrinking and shuddering as fur fell away, joints shifting and reversing back to their normal state.  Remus was naked and shaking, but he was also… _laughing_.  He stood up and looked at the sun, a strange, relieved expression on his face.  Then he looked back at the three animals that were his friends.

James shifts back to his human self, pulling deer thoughts back into human ones and staring at Remus with a confused expression.

“ _What in the Hell is going on_?  What… you were- “

“I’ve got to go… before Pomfrey… but… I won’t be able to see…” Remus stuttered, looking amused, relieved, and slightly out of breath.  “Tell… Lily… tell her the potion worked.  Tell her it worked… you’ll see her before I do…”

James gaped at his friend, watching him walk down the tunnel and towards the shack.  Sirius grabbed James’ arm, his face hard as they found the cloak and pulled it over themselves before walking back towards the castle.  No one said a word until they reached the empty common room, and then it was Peter who did the talking.

“What potion is he talking about?  What did Evans _do_?” he asked harshly.

James shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t know… I _honestly_ don’t know.”

Sirius looked confused, but not worried.  “Her potion works?  I thought he was helping her brew an antidote to a love potion?  That’s what he told Julia they were doing…”

“They were brewing something,” said James. “But I don’t think it had _anything_ to do with love potions.”

 


	13. Chances

**Chances  
** **Song Stuck in My Head: I Saw Her Standing There – The Beatles**

* * *

 

James, Sirius, and Peter lingered behind one of the suits of armor, watching Madam Pomfrey bring Remus up from the grounds and into the hospital wing.  They could tell he was trying to act worn out from his transformation, but Madam Pomfrey didn’t seem to notice how overexaggerated it was.

“What do you think she gave him?” asked Peter curiously.  “There’s no… cure for being a werewolf.”

James shook his head.  “No idea,” he replied.  “But I’m going to ask her.”

“Do you think she’s still mad about the row you had yesterday?” asked Sirius.

“How did you know about that?”

“Jules told me at dinner.  Said Evans was going off about how everyone was nosy and about you being arrogant and jealous over nothing.”

James frowned.  “I wasn’t _jealous_.  I- “

“Oh, come _off_ it,” Peter scoffed.  “You’d been practically following them around and asking him where they were going all the time.  I’m surprised you didn’t work on the map for the sole purpose of figuring out if they were together.”

James made to argue, but Sirius laughed.  “Wormtail’s got a point.  You were jealous of Moony – of _Moony_! - over nothing.”

“Well, I was right _about_ them sneaking off together and doing something,” he said defensively as they began walking back to the common room.  “And now she can’t pretend that it’s a love potion antidote like she’s been saying.  I mean, Moony as good as told us it was something for him.”

Sirius shrugged.  “It was, but why does it matter?  It didn’t hurt him any… and if I’m being honest, it was quite nice to not have to fight him into submission in the snow.”

They reached Gryffindor tower and climbed through the portrait hole to find the room was empty save for a few students who were heading down to breakfast.  Peter and Sirius began to walk toward their dormitories, but James lingered, looking at the staircase to the girls’ dormitory thoughtfully. 

“Prongs, you’ll see her in class… ask her then, or ask Moony when he comes back,” Sirius said.

“Ask Lily what when?” Julia’s voice called as she wandered down the stairs, Mary following behind. 

“How do you know we’re talking about Lily?” said James when they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Julia scoffed, and Mary rolled her eyes.  “Who _else_ would you be lingering about waiting for?” asked Mary.  “I’m guessing you did something to make her angry because she’s been on about it since yesterday.”

“We had a row,” James admitted.

“Well, whatever you did has inspired her a bit,” Julia chuckled.  “She’s up there playing her violin very loud and aggressively.  You can probably hear her if you listen close.  I bet if you wait around she’ll come down and-”

“And hit you over the head with the bow,” Mary finished.  Julia laughed again and walked out the portrait hole, giving Sirius a wink as she did so.  He and Peter ascended the stairs, but James perched himself on the arm of the couch behind him.  He decided he would wait for Lily, because he wanted answers.  It didn’t matter whether he got hit on the head or not; he wanted to find out what she and Remus had been doing all week and how it had enabled him to keep his sanity while in werewolf form.

It was twenty minutes later when Lily finally came down, her bag slung over her shoulder.  She’d tied her hair up in a high pony tail at the back of her head and it bounced as she skipped down the stairs.  James noticed a pale blush on her cheekbones and the funny way she set her jaw when she was focused on something.  She reached the bottom of the stairs and took one look at James before frowning, though it wasn’t an angry expression.  “You look exhausted,” she said.

“Well, I _was_ up all night,” he replied with a small smirk.

She pursed her lips.  “Yes, I expected that.  Are you skiving off lessons today?”

“No,” said James.  “I’ve got a free period later. I’ll sleep then.”

Lily nodded, her lips still pursed as she cleared her throat.  “How’s Remus?”

“How’s Moony?” asked James.  “Moony is… well, Moony is funny - funnier than normal, I should say.  And I mean funny in that he’s much saner than he usually is at the full moon.”

She sighed and visibly relaxed.  “I expect that would make him _happier,_ being in control and sane during the full moon.  I know that it isn’t fun to feel like you’re losing your mind.”

“No, I’d imagine that wouldn’t be fun,” said James.  “But I question how?  _How_ is Moony sane?  And it plays into the same question I had yesterday: what have you two been getting up to together?”

“Do you admit that you’re jealous?” asked Lily, folding her arms over her chest.  “And that it’s _stupid_ for you to feel that way?”

“I’m not… jealous,” said James.  “I’m _not_!  But you are up there doing something with him and it’s making him sane, which is odd because there’s no – “

“And since you’re his keeper, you obviously have to know everything anyone does for him,” she snarled.  “I thought you played Chaser, James.  But that was my mistake, obviously… James Potter is the center of the damn universe and that means I owe you an explanation for what we’ve been up to.”

She turned on her heel and walked toward the portrait hole.  James jumped up to follow her.  “Lily listen, that’s _not_ \- “

“You want to know what we’ve been up to?  _Here_ ,” she shouted, throwing a thick magazine right at his head.  “Use that fat head of yours to read this and stop questioning me all the time.”

And with that, she stalked out of the portrait hole, slamming it shut behind her.  James picked up the magazine and looked at the cover, rubbing his head as he did so.  “ _The Practical Potioneer,_ ” he muttered, turning the pages.  He finally turned to what looked like an advertisement… an advertisement seeking werewolves. 

“What’s that?” asked Peter’s voice from the stairs as he and Sirius came back down.  “We heard you and Evans shouting again.”

James looked up.  “Magazine… and _Moony_ should be ashamed.”

“What? Why?” asked Sirius.

James flipped the magazine over and showed him the advertisement.  “Because he’s inspiring his fellow prefect to break about eight hundred school rules,” he joked. 

*~*~*~*~*

Lily was sitting in Potions looking through her book when James sat down next to her.  She didn’t bother to look up at him, still feeling angry from the incessant questioning she’d endured the last two days, and his continuing opinion that she owed him an explanation.  She didn’t owe him anything.  She wasn’t snitching on them or doing anything that would put anyone in jeopardy.  She was simply trying to help Remus out. 

James leaned down and began digging in his bag, tapping her on the leg with his elbow.  Lily ignored this at first, but then he tugged hard on her robes and she finally leaned down and began fiddling with her own books. “ _What_?” she hissed at him.

“I saw the advertisement,” he whispered.  “I have questions about it, but you can answer them later… when you want to.”

“Why should I?  Why do I owe you any kind of an explanation?” she whispered.

“You don’t,” said James fairly, sitting back up and looking her straight in the eyes.  “You don’t owe me an explanation.  I can get the story from Moony if I really want it.  I just … I don’t know _how_ you got the instructions, but I know you took a _huge_ risk – same as we did – just to help him out.  He’s grateful, you know… he said as much this morning.”

“Then what’s your problem?” she asked, conscious now of the other people entering the classroom. 

“I was jealous. I _am_ … jealous,” James admitted, smiling when she sat there and gaped at him. “I was jealous because you were spending all that time with him and… and even though you’re … we’re _friends_ now, and I like that, but,” he continued, stammering for words.  He looked embarrassed, but continued despite it. 

“I was jealous because I wanted you to… you have no reason to go out of your way for me, and I’m jealous because you were meeting up with him – and I know it was to help him – but … I wish you had a reason to meet up with me.”

Lily watched as he finished his explanation, trying to remain impassive.  James ruffled his hair slightly, looking shy and repentant, but also honest in what he was saying.  She didn’t know what to say to him… or how to respond. 

“It wasn’t… exactly… like I was going out of my way to spend extra time with him,” she mumbled.  “That just… well, considering I wanted to be there when he drank it, just in case… and the room is funny… we just kind of ended up together.  It isn’t as though I planned it.”

“I know,” James said, sounding a little sheepish.  “But you did go out of your way for him… You didn’t have anything to gain out of it.  Unless… you’re planning on bragging about- “

“I don’t brag, Potter,” she snapped.  “I mean… I do, but it’s not like I’m trying to gain notoriety here.”

“So, it was selfless,” he said, a little smile on his face.  “You went out of your way just because.  You had no reason to do it, you just did.”

Lily cleared her throat.  “Well, I have no reason to go out of my way for _anyone_ , really,” she said lightly, watching him smile.  “But if we’re talking about people going out of there way for others, there is this matter of learning to fly that keeps coming up.  And I’ve been terribly hesitant to ask, because it involves someone going out of their way for _me_ , especially when they’re busy with Quidditch practice and all manner of other things,” she said, setting up her cauldron and ingredients as James watched.

He smiled a little.  “Perhaps this person doesn’t think they’re going out of their way at all.  Maybe it’s something they’d be happy to do.”

“I’d have no way of repaying them,” said Lily. “Because they’re automatically so bloody _good_ at everything that I can’t teach them anything, or brew them a complex potion, or help out with any of their lessons.  It’s kind of off putting, really… to need something and not be able to give something back.”

James grinned and leaned closer.  “It’s completely plausible that the pleasure of your company would be enough of a repayment.”

Lily felt her cheeks grow warmer as she looked at James.  He had a small, hopeful expression on his face.  Sirius and Julia had sat down at the table adjacent to them and were now watching them curiously.  Lily leaned closer towards James.  “I don’t know about that, I haven’t been exactly been pleasant the past day or two.”

“Well, I’ve been a nosy git, now haven’t I?” he said, watching her grin.  Then he folded his arms on the table and leaned closer to her.  “Would you like to go to the pitch this afternoon?  It’s supposed to be warmer.  We can fly for a bit?” he asked, chewing his lip nervously.

Lily smiled gently.  “I’d like that, yes.”

James gave her a brilliant smile; his whole face lighting up as he drummed his fingers on the table before ruffling his hair vigorously.  Lily shook her head but couldn’t help but smile back.  He was surprisingly easy to make happy.

The rest of the day seemed to go by in a blur, though there were random moments that seemed clearer than the rest.  James and Sirius decided today would be a good day to show off their Transfiguration abilities and to the amusement of everyone in the classroom, even Professor McGonagall, managed to transfigure their appearances so much that they were practically identical.  

“That’s just what you need,” Julia had whispered to Lily as they left class.  “Two James Potter’s running around.”

Lily rolled her eyes, glancing over her shoulder to see James and Sirius laughing at each other while Peter tailed along next to them looking gleeful.  “No, I think one is just about all I can handle at this point.”

“ _Can_ you handle it?” asked Julia mischievously.  “I’m sure there are things he’d rather get up to than – “

“ _Julia_!” Lily yelped.  “This is not… this is not even a date.  I need to learn how to fly and if he’s offering... besides, I don’t know anything about anything when it comes to all of the stuff _you_ get up to.”

Julia looked confused.  “Hang on a minute, you just asked me a few days ago if you should make me a contraceptive draught.  How can you- “

“I understand the _biology_ of it, which is something decidedly lacking in our education,” Lily whispered, looking around to make sure no one else was listening.  “But the rest of it… I don’t … that’s another reason I didn’t want to be kissed at the Halloween do. I don’t- “

Julia gasped loudly, darting in front of Lily and taking her by the shoulders.  “Is that… is _that_ what you meant when you said you didn’t know what you’d do if he kissed you?  You meant it _literally_?  As in you don’t know what to do because… because you’ve never- “

“ _SHH_!” Lily practically snarled.  “Shut up, all right?  It’s not something I’d like to have spread all over school.”

Julia shook her head, her eyes wide with shock.  Lily pushed forward, continuing their walk down to the gardens for Herbology.  After a few minutes of walking, she saw Julia look over her shoulder to make sure they were out of earshot of anyone else.  “So, you’ve _never_?  Not… _ever_?”

Lily shook her head.  “Nope, not once.  Never had the urge or opportunity, really.”

“Not even… not even with Snape?  When you guys were home over the summer?”

Lily scrunched up her face and shook her head.  “ _No_! I… there were a few times when I thought… but, he was never as blunt or honest about it as Potter is.  I mean, I guess I never _could_ read him anyway since he hauled off and called me Mudblood and I never expected that.  But no, _definitely_ not.  The thought honestly never crossed my mind, but I can’t say for him, I guess… I don’t know...”

“Merlin’s Beard, Lily,” she said.  “You’re almost seventeen!”

“If you think I haven’t picked up on this woeful fact you are _sorely_ mistaken,” Lily replied with a frown.  “I’m well aware of it.”

“But… you’ve been on _dates_ before,” she said.  “I mean, you could count them as dates. You and Max went flying once, and have been on walks a few times.  Bertram fancies you… and you two hung out in the library _a lot_ last year.  _Oh_! And what about that bloke you who was in Slughorn’s little club with you?  The one who brought you the lilies on Valentine’s day?  Dearborn or whatever his name was…”

“Ceradoc,” said Lily.  “I mean… he was _nice_ , but he was three years older than I am.  And Bertram and Max are both… nice… but I’m not _interested_ in either of them.  There just hasn’t been … nothing has felt right.  And you’re never _alone_ in this damn castle.  I’ve no idea how you and Sirius manage it to be honest.”

Julia grinned. “He’s got this place mapped out, I swear.  He knows exactly which rooms are empty and … you know, he got me into the Prefects bathroom the other night.  I’m jealous you get to use that all the time.”

“How in Merlins’- no, never mind, I’m guessing he weaseled the password out of Remus or Potter,” muttered Lily, rolling her eyes again.  “Remus really does just… _encourage_ them, doesn’t he?”

Julia laughed.  “I don’t think he encourages it, but you know him well enough to figure out that Remus isn’t good at standing up to what his friends do.  Other people, yes… but not his friends.”

Lily sighed in agreement as they reached the greenhouses and were finally able to move inside out of the cold.  They were still learning to handle the Venomous Tentaculas and the class had become one of her least favorite lessons.  On top of the vines that attempted to seize you at random, and the hissing that filled the greenhouse, Lily was distracted today by the fact that she’d finally admitted she’d never been kissed.

It honestly never crossed her mind before this year.  As Julia had pointed out, she’d been on what she suppose _could_ have counted as dates before...  But if someone had tried to communicate that they wanted to kiss her, she’d never picked up on it.  Maybe she wasn’t as bright as everyone gave her credit for…

But she’d never been that interested in any of them to think about kissing.  In fact, no one had ever managed to hold her interest as anything more than a friend, so far.  And even Potter, who she finally conceded was a lot more interesting to her than she let on… he was still just her _friend_ , wasn’t he?

“So, _are_ you going flying?” asked Julia when class was over.  “Should I not expect you for back for a -while?”

“Do you need to keep tabs on me?  I wasn’t aware you’d become my keeper,” she replied.

Julia laughed.  “All right, point taken.  But _are_ you going?”

Lily looked around for James, frowning when she didn’t see him anywhere around.  “Well, I _was_ planning on it.  But I guess we never set a place to meet up, so maybe- “

“Wotcher, Evans!” James shouted from atop one of the statues in the courtyard.  Sirius was on another one and Peter was on the ground watching them, an amused and anxious look on his face.  “Did you still want to go flying?”

“I was planning on it.  How did you- “

He leapt from the statue, landing much to lightly on his feet right in front of her.  “Magic,” he said with a grin.  “It’s brilliant isn’t it?”

“The pair of you are lunatics today,” said Julia, watching Sirius jump from the statue to the top of the roof.  “If you fall, I’m going to laugh; I’m _not_ going to nurse you back to health.”

Sirius pulled a puppy dog face and placed his hands on his chest as though wounded.  Julia just rolled her eyes and continued watching.  Lily wasn’t sure what to think as she watched him.  “That really is dangerous,” she said to James.

“Eh, he can handle it,” he said.  “Come on, let’s go.”

James motioned toward the direction of the Pitch and gave Lily that same brilliant smile he had earlier.  She couldn’t help but return it and followed behind him.  “You know, it’s not all that warm out,” she mused.

“You’ve got a cloak,” he said.  “You can wear mine if you want.”

“What will you wear then?”

James grinned at her.  “I didn’t say I’d take it off before you got in it.”

Lily made a face.  “Don’t get cute with me.”

He turned around and started walking backwards.  “Because you’re the only one allowed to be cute?  Or because you’re cute enough for us both?”

“The latter, obviously,” she grinned. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” he laughed, jumping back in step with her.  “Well, I can’t argue with your assessment.  And I reckon I’ve always preferred to be handsome over cute.”

“You are much more cheerful this afternoon than you’ve been for the past few days,” she observed, still grinning.  “Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“’Course I did,” he replied.  “I’m not... proud of it.”

“Did Remus know?”

“He pointed it out when I saw him earlier, but… those other gits said the same thing,” said James, gesturing back to the courtyard where Sirius and Peter still were.  “Told me there was nothing going on, and they all meant it in the sense that I was thinking… right?  _Right_?  There’s- “

“Potter, there’s _nothing_ going on,” she said firmly.  “I like Remus very much, but … not at all in the way you are thinking.”

James nodded, ruffling his hair, unable to keep the grin off his face.  “So, um… what about me?”

Lily stopped in her tracks, chewing her lip and trying not to get lost in how bright his eyes were.  “I told you not to be cute with me,” she said quietly.

James looked at his feet, hand furiously ruffling his hair now. “I’m not… I mean… the whole reason I was jealous is because I … like being around you, and I want you to… give me a chance or- “

“Why do you think I’m out here now?” she interrupted, a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth.

He looked up at her, hand still at the back of his head.  She started walking again, giving him a nudge as she walked past.  Lily noticed he stayed stuck on the spot for a minute, then he ran to catch up with her, grinning wildly as they continued on the path down to the Pitch.

“So… why didn’t you want to tell me?”

“Because I was afraid you’d react exactly how you did,” Lily explained.  “Or, I was also afraid that you’d talk me out of it, or you’d talk Remus out of it.  You’re very protective of him.”

“He’s my friend,” James said. 

“I know that,” Lily said, chewing her lip.  “When I found out, you were really upset. To tell you the truth, I was a little nervous you’d make me take an unbreakable vow or something, you were so upset.  Not that I would have a problem keeping one, but still…”

“That never crossed my mind, but Wormtail was all for Obliviating you for a bit,” he admitted.  Lily made a face and James backtracked a bit.  “I wasn’t… but… it did cross our minds for a while.  But not just because of Moony, because of… well, us too.”

Lily nodded.  “I’m glad you didn’t Obliviate me.”

“Me too.”

She smirked a little.  “You would have made me forget one of the reasons I like you.”

James sputtered, looking a little bewildered as they rounded the corner to the Quidditch Pitch.  Lily froze just past the stands and James bumped into her. “Uh oh,” she said, frowning a little.  “Did you check and see if it was in use?”

James took his eyes off her and turned them to the Quidditch rings.  Hovering around them were the unmistakable green cloaks of the Slytherin Quidditch team.  “I did… I checked just after lunch,” he muttered, walking onto the field. 

Lily stayed behind a few steps, pulling her cloak a little tighter around her shoulders.  She recognized Yaxley’s yellow hair as the one who was descending fastest and sped up to hear what he and James were saying to each other.  The rest of the Quidditch team landed behind Yaxley, looking irritated with James’ appearance.

“… the Pitch was empty.  When did you – “

“Slughorn signed us up for extra practice,” said Yaxley.  “We’ve got three new Chasers and a new Keeper, so he figured we could use extra times.”

James scoffed.  “You’re not the only team with new players.”

“No, I suppose we’re not,” Yaxley commented, looking behind James at Lily.  “So, what’re you doing down here with Evans?  Don’t tell me you’re adding _more_ Mudbloods to- “

“Shut your damn mouth,” snarled James. 

Yaxley laughed.  “I’m only calling it like it is, Potter… you’ve got Alexander and Greenfield already, now _her_?  Half your team are Mud- “

“I said _shut your mouth_!” James growled, pulling out his wand. 

Yaxley pulled out his and glared back at him.  “Are the bad words making you angry, Potter?  Let’s see you do something all by yourself.  I don’t see your little gang- “

“I don’t need them to drag your arse across -.”

“ _James_ ,” Lily interrupted, taking a few steps forward.  “It’s not worth it, let’s just-”

“No, _it’s_ not worth it,” Avery added, looking from James to Lily.  “Honestly, Potter… how can you stand it?  Doesn’t the smell of her make you- “

James moved forward, Avery and Yaxley did as well, backed by the whole Quidditch team.  Lily jumped in front of James, pushing him back a few steps.  “ _Hey_ ,” she said, pressing firmly on his chest.  “The whole team has got their own odor problems to sort out, yeah?  Because they stunk at the last match… remember?”

James swallowed.  “Yeah… I’d forgotten.  I expect you need as much practice as you can get, then.”

“Right,” said Lily.  “Let’s leave them to it then.”  She took hold of one of his hands, pulling him with her as she walked away from the Slytherin team and back toward the castle.  James kept his hand in hers, letting her pull him along for a bit before he began walking beside her.  He laced his fingers through hers and squeezed tightly. 

“I’m sorry about that,” he muttered.  “I’m sorry that- “

“It’s not your fault,” she interrupted.  “And it’s not worth the ten thousand detentions you’d get if you got into it with Yaxley.”

James frowned.  “You’re worth that many detentions, you know.”

Lily blushed, chewing her lip.  She dropped her and from his and pulled her cloak around herself again. “No, I’m not… besides, if you had that many detentions you’d _never_ be able to teach me how to fly.”

James laughed, ruffling his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets.  They walked back to the castle, Lily commenting on the snow that had started to fall as they reached the wooden doors to the Great Hall.  To both their surprise, Sirius, Peter, and Remus came barreling down the stairs, looking furious until they saw them in the hallway and stopped abruptly.

“Oh,” said Sirius.  “You’re back…”

Lily tipped her head curiously, looking to James for an explanation, but he looked just as confused as she felt.  “We hadn’t _planned_ on being back… Slytherin apparently booked the pitch,” explained James, watching Sirius’ reaction.

“Huh… imagine that,” said Peter, a little breathless.  “Moony found us.  Said he… _saw_ them out there.”

“Saw them how?” asked Lily curiously.  “We went straight out there from Herbology.  I didn’t see Remus anywhere around, and you two were still climbing the walls when we left,” she said gesturing towards Peter and Sirius.  “I am glad to see you didn’t break your neck.”

“My neck is sturdy, as is my footing,” said Sirius with a laugh. 

“Good, because Julia would be sad if you broke your neck.  Where is she anyway?”

“She… said something about needing to work on Transfiguration,” he mumbled, looking at James with an oddly apologetic expression. 

Lily sniggered a little.  “With how much she works on it, I’m guessing she’ll be better than the four of you by the end of the year.”

She started to walk away, moving towards the stair case.  She got to the bottom step then paused and turned around.  “Are you feeling better, Remus?”

James watched Remus smile shyly. He cleared his throat, glancing quickly at James before answering Lily.  “Loads, actually.  It’s like I wasn’t even ill.”

Lily smiled, feeling relieved and pleased with herself at the same time.  “Good, I’m glad,” she said quietly, walking a few steps up the staircase before turning around again.  This time she looked at James, who was watching her with sort of a forlorn expression.  “You coming?” she asked.

“Pardon?” James responded, dumbstruck.

“I thought you had all kinds of questions for me.”

“Well… I did… I _do_ , I mean,” he sputtered.  “I didn’t think you were particularly keen on answering them, though…”

“I’ve got nothing else going on,” she shrugged.  “And since we can’t go flying, perhaps this could be your reason to ‘meet up’ with me.”

James grinned at her, looking pleasantly surprised as he ruffled his hair and walked to the staircase.  He paused for a second, looking back at his friends who were watching with amused expressions.  “I’ll … good catch, Moony?  Is it working all right then?”

“It seems to be… whatever you did stuck,” Remus answered.

“Brilliant.  Show me later,” said James, grinning wildly as he followed Lily up the stairs and out of sight.

“Suppose she’s being a tease?” asked Peter as they walked up the stairs a few minutes later.

Remus shook his head, looking to Sirius for his thoughts.  Sirius shrugged.  “Maybe she’s showing him he’s got nothing to be jealous of… I don’t think Evans would string him along for no reason, especially after she was worried about me doing the same to Jules.”

“Speaking of Jules,” Peter muttered, nodding his head to the stairs in front of them.  Sirius perked up and gave her a brilliant smile.  “Wotcher, Julia…”

“Did you find them, then?” she asked without pretense.

“They’d already come back from the pitch,” he explained.  “I reckon Evans pulled him out before it got too bad with Yaxley and the others.”

Julia frowned.  “I don’t like the way Avery has been after her lately,” she muttered.  “Like he’s waiting for the right moment to strike.”

“Well, he can’t strike now, she’s still with Prongs,” said Sirius fairly.

“Oh really?  Where were they headed?” she asked curiously.

“Dunno,” said Peter.  “We were wondering if Evans is being a tease, going to string him along for a bit…”

Julia laughed loudly.  “Trust me, Lily’s not going to do that.  I don’t think she’s got the wherewithal to ‘ _tease’_ anyone.”

Sirius gave her a funny look as they reached the portrait hole.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She told me something earlier… something _I_ had no clue about,” she explained, leaning close to him and whispering in his ear.

“ _Bollocks_.  You’re lying,” Sirius laughed.  “ _Never_?  Not once?”

“It sounds crazy, but it’s true… not once,” she said.

Sirius was sniggering uncontrollably as they entered the common room.  “Well, I expect Prongs’ll get the job done sooner or later.”

“What job?” asked Peter curiously.  “What’s the rumor?”

“It’s not a rumor,” said Julia.  “And it _cannot_ go anywhere outside the four of us, you hear me?  I’ll hex the lot of you if you spread it around; got it?”

* * *

“That’s what Remus kept saying, over and over, _every_ time we were up here,” Lily laughed, as she watched James wander around the small potions room.  The only time she’d ever seen him look so analytical was when they’d been tasked with deciphering the difference between a shield and a warding charm in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

“Well, it is,” he said, a small smile on his face.  “It’s a funny little room.  And all this stuff was just here?”

“Yes… for the most part,” said Lily.  “I mean… the tea kettle wasn’t here last time, and neither were the stools... so that’s a bit odd, but the rest was just here.”

“So how did you keep anyone else from finding the potion?” he asked, tracing his fingers over the wall of cauldrons. 

Lily swallowed, a little distracted by how James was examining everything in the room.  He would let his hands linger in an almost seductive manner on things, as if he were trying to make sure they were real.  He’d also gone more than ten minutes without ruffling his hair _once_ , so focused he was on figuring out this strange little room.  His eyes had this intensity about them, and he kept chewing or pursing his lips as he examined the walls, the shelves, the table, and the two stools that were now a part of the room.  Lily shivered and wondered if he’d ever looked at her that way when she wasn’t paying attention.

“So, how’d you do it?”

“What?” asked Lily, pulling herself out of her thoughts.  “Oh, I used a masking charm on it.  And I _think_ other people can use this room, but I’m not sure anyone ever does.  Everything was always exactly as I left it each time,” she finished, sitting down on one of the stools.

“Well, if this tea kettle is here, we may as well use it,” said James, taking out his wand and filling the kettle with water.  “I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit cold from being outside.”

Lily laughed.  “Why were we going down to the Quidditch Pitch if it was cold out?”

“You warm up quick down there,” he said, sitting down on the stool across from her.  “Besides, if all else failed we could have snuggled together on one broom.”

Lily shook her head, blushing for what felt like the eightieth time that day.  “That’s one solution, I suppose,” she said, folding her arms and leaning against the table.

James regarded her for a moment, deciding to proceed with questioning rather than push his luck with proposing they go on a _real_ date.  She looked embarrassed for some reason, and slightly uncomfortable.  He had no idea why… all he felt when he was with her was joy, and peace, and excitement.  He wondered what she was thinking about.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“I’m thinking I don’t know what other kinds of questions I can answer for you,” she said honestly.

“Start with why? I mean… I know _why_ you did it, but you broke about a thousand school rules,” he said.  “And it’s risky. I’m guessing it’s a tricky potion.  Did you worry about hurting him?”

“All the time,” Lily admitted.  “There are spells you can use to check if things are brewed correctly, and I did that about ten times before I told him it was ready.  I messed up once and had to start all over but don’t tell Remus that.”

“How’d you mess up?”

“It’s got a lot to do with temperature,” she explained, unfolding her arms and gesturing with her hands.  “I let it get too hot, and that kills the dittany.  You’ve got to keep it just right,” she held her hand out in front of her to emphasize this, “otherwise it renders it useless.”

James grinned, holding his own hand out.  “Just right?” he asked with a smirk.  “Just like _this_?”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “You get my point.”

“So, why’d you do it?”

“I asked him a while back how much it helped… you being an Animagus, and being able to run around with him as an animal.  He said you developed a pack, and that atmosphere _helped_ … but he still lost his mind,” she said sadly.  “I asked him if keeping it would make it easier.  But, Remus aside… what could this mean for _all_ werewolves?  If it eases their suffering and makes it so they’re just… normal... for the most part...”

James nodded.  “If Mungo’s were to accept this potion, it could change everything.”

“I agree,” she said.  “They could come out, couldn’t they?  They could find work and maybe- “

“There would still need to be precautions, I’m sure,” said James.  “But perhaps they could.  It would take time, though.  There’s so many years of prejudice to undo.”

Lily frowned.  “There’s a bit of that all around, isn’t there.”

James looked at her, hearing the sadness in her words.  “They’re the minority, Lily.  You have to know that.  You have to know that there are so many more people who support Muggleborns and muggles than there are that- “

“It’s just the ones that don’t are _so_ loud,” she interjected.  “And there’s enough apathy amidst the rest – where they don’t really care one way or another – that the squeaky wheel is the one that gets fixed first.  That’s why there’s restrictions on how much gold I can convert, and that absurd idea of having a special office just for Muggleborns to report crimes.  It’s- “

“It’s nothing,” said James.  “Believe me… none of that stuff will ever pass.”

“I want to,” she said, fixing her green eyes on him.  “I really do, James… but the reality is so much different.  Sometimes you… you have a hard time seeing that, I think.”

It was James’ turn to frown now.  He knew she was right; he was an idealist in how he thought the world should work.  But that didn’t stop some of what he was saying from being true.

“Tell me about growing up as a muggle,” he asked, changing the subject. “Tell me what that was like?  When you started to do magic?”

“I’ve told you a bit already,” she said, pausing as she searched for the right words.  “I didn’t know what to think.  My sister was fascinated by what I could do, but also scared… so I didn’t experiment a lot.  Then, after I came to school… oh, she just _hates_ magic now.  And, obviously, with the underage restriction I can’t do much.  But even before I had a wand, after Snape told me what I was, I didn’t try to do anything on purpose.  It just… _happened_ sometimes.  He told me about how you can get into trouble for it… that they could take your wand and send you to Azkaban.”

James scoffed.  “They don’t send people to Azkaban for doing underage magic,” he said.  “Merlin’s Beard… and _he’s_ one to talk about experimenting.  All those hexes and stuff that those tossers use, he taught them those.  Don’t tell me he wasn’t ‘ _experimenting_ \- ‘”

“Is that why you got after him all the time?  Why you still- “

“I haven’t gotten after him that much this year,” said James.  “I can’t stand him, so I don’t go seeking him out.  Especially since you’re not hanging round him anymore.  But if he played innocent with you… like he never got after us, he was lying.  He hexed Wormtail once and- “

“I know he wasn’t innocent, trust me… I _know_ ,” she interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore.  “And hanging around Mulciber and Avery… but we’ve been over all of this, haven’t we?  There’s nothing more to be said about it.”

James nodded.  “I suppose I can admit I was jealous about … _him_ as well.”

Lily snorted.  “You had no reason to be.  This is the second time I’ve told someone this today, but there was nothing between us… ever.”

“No by his choice, though,” said James.

“I don’t know… I’m not sure- “

“ _Evans_ ,” James laughed.  “Don’t be thick.  Half the blokes in this castle get jealous when you don’t talk to them.  I mean, look at this love potion nonsense that’s been going around.  And look at Linghold; he’s been a right arse this year.  I expect Julia is right about him being jealous.”

“But he’s got nothing to be jealous of!” she insisted.

“Hasn’t he?” James asked quietly, looking her straight in the eyes. 

Lily swallowed as her stomach swooped uncomfortably.  James had gone on and on about her eyes a few times, but she didn’t see how his were any different.  She stared back at him, at his lopsided glasses and the hopeful expression he had been wearing the entire afternoon.  She couldn’t deny she felt _something_ … but she didn’t know what it was, or what to do with it.  All she knew was she didn’t want to become like Petunia; so simpering and enamored with someone that all she ever did was talk about them.  So in love that she lost her sense of self completely.

“My sister’s got a boyfriend,” she said randomly after a few minutes.  “All she did all summer was talk about him.  _Vernon_ this, and _Vernon_ that.  ‘Vernon took me to the movies, Vernon brought me flowers, Vernon, Vernon, _Vernon_ …”

James tilted his head, chuckling once.  “Isn’t that what … boyfriends are supposed to do?”

“I mean… I guess.  It was disgusting, though,” she said, standing up suddenly and gathering her cloak.  “I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I do _not_ want to be like that.  It’s like she doesn’t even know who she is anymore.”

James laughed.  “I don’t think you need to worry about that.  You’re too stubborn to forget who you are,” he said, getting to his feet and following her out the door.  He looked back as she shut it, watching as the door blended into the wall.  He vaguely thought he’d have to come back up here with Sirius to figure this room out. 

“It sounds like your sister was searching for a distraction from being a Muggle and he happened to fit into what her idea of ‘ _normal’_ should be.  Not everyone gets like that… most people don’t.  Look at Alice, look at Julia.  They’re not insane.”

Lily nodded, biting her lip as James hurried to keep up with her.  “I know,” she said, slowing down a bit.  She didn’t know why she had started running away from him. It’s not as though he was some sort of a threat, and half of her brain was screaming at her to stick around and wait for him.  “It’s just all I can ever think about.”

“Well,” said James, jumping in front of her with a mischievous grin on his face.  “If you want something else to think about, I had a really good time this afternoon.”

Lily stopped in her tracks, looking surprised as James stared down at her.  He was distractingly tall, she thought randomly, but it was also comforting somehow.  And the face he makes, when he’s about to say something clever or something that he knows will make her blush… it wasn’t as annoying to her as it used to be. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, feeling a little shaky when she said it.  “We didn’t get to fly, and all I did was tell you things you already knew about Snape, and my sister, and Remus…”

James shrugged.  “I’d listen to you tell the same stories again and again if it meant I could hang round with you.  Let’s do it again soon.”

Lily inhaled sharply, fighting the grin that threatened to spread across her face.  James winked at her before turning over his shoulder and jogging down the hall.  Lily stood by herself for a few moments, trying to run through the list of reasons she should be annoyed by James Potter and why fancying him would be a bad idea.  It had been a few pages long, but it was getting progressively shorter the more time she spent with him. 

* * *

 

A/N: Thanks again for all your reviews.  It could be two weeks until my next update as I'm travelling and may just not have time to sit down and edit like I want to.  I will try as hard as I can but I won't promise.  Thank you for understanding and continuing to support my work =)

**Author's Note:**

> Rewrite of a story I posted a few years ago. Hopefully it's as enjoyable now as it was then.


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